How do you deal with a friend who ignores you?

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  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    I told him how I have been stressed about other things and even felt suicidal at one point (although I was just really upset about an argument with my parents and just having troubles right now- I would never actually commit suicide so please don't worry about that- everyone feels suicidal at some point in their lives) yet I get no reply, I mean that isn't a true friend. He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.

    He's obligated to respond if you're contemplating suicide? That's an awful lot of responsibility to put on another person.

    I recommend handling it like an adult and moving on with your life without acting like a dramatic 14 year old.

    Actually, it's not. Friends are someone to actually be able to rely on.... And a true friend, replies to that.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I live by the rule: Never make someone a priority that only considers you an option.

    Say goodbye and move on, even as hard as that can be.

    that is a really simple way of looking at it and spot on.

    friend's do not make you work for their time and attention.

    either you're a priority- or you are not. plain and simple.

    just don't message him and forget it. move on.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I told him how I have been stressed about other things and even felt suicidal at one point (although I was just really upset about an argument with my parents and just having troubles right now- I would never actually commit suicide so please don't worry about that- everyone feels suicidal at some point in their lives) yet I get no reply, I mean that isn't a true friend. He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.

    He's obligated to respond if you're contemplating suicide? That's an awful lot of responsibility to put on another person.

    I recommend handling it like an adult and moving on with your life without acting like a dramatic 14 year old.

    Actually, it's not. Friends are someone to actually be able to rely on.... And a true friend, replies to that.

    no that's what therapy is for... you can't expect your friends to deal with all their sht AND all your's. stop being so selfish.
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    I told him how I have been stressed about other things and even felt suicidal at one point (although I was just really upset about an argument with my parents and just having troubles right now- I would never actually commit suicide so please don't worry about that- everyone feels suicidal at some point in their lives) yet I get no reply, I mean that isn't a true friend. He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.

    He's obligated to respond if you're contemplating suicide? That's an awful lot of responsibility to put on another person.

    I recommend handling it like an adult and moving on with your life without acting like a dramatic 14 year old.

    Also, I HAVE been the adult here. He is the one who has been the 14 year old- actually make that 12 year old- child who ditches a good friend, and acts like a ****ing child treating someone like they've done something wrong, who does that? Maybe I am being dramatic, because it is dramatic.
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    why would you need to 'ditch' him and tell him that? Just go on about your business. Wouldn't you feel like total crap if you found out later that he had real issues that he was dealing with (may even be that involved you - I mean you friendzoned him). And that is why he could't respond.

    Just let it go. If its meant to be it will be.

    Everyone is dealing with issues, it's not really an excuse, as my friend Alex said, he could just drop a few words in a text. I didn't friendzone him, I didn't go 'Oh yeah, I'm just your friend'- it came up in a conversation where I just referred to him as my friend. He was fine with that.
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    I'd like to add that it sounds like you are a bit lonely. If you would like to be friends, I can listen to whatever. Life doesn't have to be hard or confusing. Happiness is a choice girl, remember that! :)

    Yeah I tend to be a lonely person, thanks I will add you. Good quote.
  • rydn4h2o
    rydn4h2o Posts: 255
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    I live by the rule: Never make someone a priority that only considers you an option.

    Say goodbye and move on, even as hard as that can be.

    ^^this
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    Were you secretly hoping for more?

    Can't say I was! I don't date people who are more than 5/6 years older.
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    Were you secretly hoping for more?

    tumblr_mzaufitmNZ1tptg9yo1_250.gif
    [/quote

    Sorry to burst your bubble, but the thought makes me want to puke. That's why he was just a friend.
  • Shropshire1959
    Shropshire1959 Posts: 982 Member
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    Anyone who ignores you . ISN'T A FRIEND [/thread]
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    I told him how I have been stressed about other things and even felt suicidal at one point (although I was just really upset about an argument with my parents and just having troubles right now- I would never actually commit suicide so please don't worry about that- everyone feels suicidal at some point in their lives) yet I get no reply, I mean that isn't a true friend. He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.

    He's obligated to respond if you're contemplating suicide? That's an awful lot of responsibility to put on another person.

    I recommend handling it like an adult and moving on with your life without acting like a dramatic 14 year old.
    Wow, I totally missed that part.

    OP, this sounds like you were being pretty manipulative.

    Maybe, maybe not, but it wasn't my intention. I'm a very honest person.
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    tumblr_m2nwozuZtH1qdc7u7o1_500.jpg

    OMG I love this

    If you don't give a **** though, why are you replying? Is there something wrong with you?
  • kconrad1712
    kconrad1712 Posts: 36 Member
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    He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.

    Or you could just move on without being dramatic. Sometimes we get busy or we drift away from friends. You're 21, you'll make more friends.

    I'm not being dramatic? Lol.

    Yes, you are being a dramatic baby about this. He has been ignoring you for a month. Get it through your head that he does NOT want to talk to you anymore. HE DITCHED YOU!! GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON!
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    Thanks for all your replies. Yeah at times I can be 'dramatic' however, it is a dramatic story, that is literally what happened. I just wanted other people's opinions. I knew it would be best to leave it alone now in the back of my mind, but I just was curious as to what others would do. I'm deleting the number, and maybe one day he will realise what an excellent friend he has lost, I am such a loyal person, always there for people, but I don't get the same in return. Ah well c'est la vie. We all know I was the good friend here, trying to keep in touch, giving people second chances, third chances, I try to hold onto relationships, because yeah I am really lonely, I don't have many friends. I only have one true friend who texts me and I text her, and she is related to me. A 2nd cousin. I know it is sad but yet again, c'est la vie.

    I wasn't trying to be manipulating, or desperate, but I get how you may think I was being desperate. I just want you all to know, I am the grown up here, I think that is obvious as I was trying to keep the friendship going, and I don't ignore people and make them think they have done something wrong. So yeah. I take friendships importantly, but I get let down by most in the end. Anyway I'm only 21 so maybe it will get better and I will get more friends.
  • Telomin
    Telomin Posts: 45 Member
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    Maybe he has some issues of his own right now and might not consider you the best person to talk about them with (which he might think your friend in common is a good person for). Maybe he is angry with you over something, however he should at least have tried to talk to you about it in that ccase. Maybe he had romantic interest in you but then finally understood he had no chance and gave up (like many guys I've met do, and when they give up they don't even wanna be friends). Or maybe he just don't wanna be friends any more.

    Did you try asking him over text if there is something he is going through, instead of just talking about yourself? If you always only focus on yourself, and how YOU feel, it's likely that people will not want to be friends with you.

    I hope you don't find any of this offensive, I'm just giving you examples you can consider if you feel like anything "hit the spot". Good luck!
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.

    Or you could just move on without being dramatic. Sometimes we get busy or we drift away from friends. You're 21, you'll make more friends.

    I'm not being dramatic? Lol.

    Yes, you are being a dramatic baby about this. He has been ignoring you for a month. Get it through your head that he does NOT want to talk to you anymore. HE DITCHED YOU!! GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON!

    Think you're the one being dramatic now, honey. And I have moved on.... and I have gotten that in my head. Are you me? No. Quit judging and grow up.
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    Maybe he has some issues of his own right now and might not consider you the best person to talk about them with (which he might think your friend in common is a good person for). Maybe he is angry with you over something, however he should at least have tried to talk to you about it in that ccase. Maybe he had romantic interest in you but then finally understood he had no chance and gave up (like many guys I've met do, and when they give up they don't even wanna be friends). Or maybe he just don't wanna be friends any more.

    Did you try asking him over text if there is something he is going through, instead of just talking about yourself? If you always only focus on yourself, and how YOU feel, it's likely that people will not want to be friends with you.

    I hope you don't find any of this offensive, I'm just giving you examples you can consider if you feel like anything "hit the spot". Good luck!

    Yes like a month ago I would of for sure asked him what he was up to and everything. I am not the kind of person all about myself, I always include others. I am the first one who asks 'How are you' and everything. Thanks for your examples, it's good to think about,
  • jrtrotter2
    jrtrotter2 Posts: 2
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    This may be a different perspective than the other responses. You refer to this person as your friend, so how are your being their friend? By giving them a deadline? Your attitude towards this person seems to be: since I am not getting what I need/want from you, I am going to get rid of you. Does that sound like the attitude that a friend would have? Perhaps there is something going on in their life. Perhaps there is something that they need to discuss with you and they are not ready to have that conversation.

    So, for what it is worth, here is my recommendation. Rescind the deadline. Tell them, in one short message, that when they are ready to talk, you will be ready. Then, move on. Stop sending this person messages. Stop using third parties to check up on this person. Cut out the drama. Write them off mentally if you want to. Then, if they contact you, have an honest discussion about what happened.
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
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    He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.

    Or you could just move on without being dramatic. Sometimes we get busy or we drift away from friends. You're 21, you'll make more friends.

    I'm not being dramatic? Lol.

    Yes, you are being a dramatic baby about this. He has been ignoring you for a month. Get it through your head that he does NOT want to talk to you anymore. HE DITCHED YOU!! GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON!

    Think you're the one being dramatic now, honey. And I have moved on.... and I have gotten that in my head. Are you me? No. Quit judging and grow up.

    I agree. The post above was ridiculous and the person sounded hangry. Calm the eff down for godsakes. Lawd. She just asked for an opinion over someone who was ignoring her.

    OP, I'm going to echo what others have said, without using all caps. Move along. If he isn't making time for you that's a pretty big indicator that he has other things going on that are more important to him. Let it go. If he cares, he will realize he made a mistake and will try to befriend you again, at which that point, you can decide if you want to take another chance on the friendship. His loss. Always address feelings of suicidality if they come to fruition.

    You will make more friends. I understand, I am extremely introverted too. But I don't really care about having friends because I'm a recluse. lol.

    Life goes on:flowerforyou:
  • rachelrb85
    rachelrb85 Posts: 579 Member
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    I would give zero f*cks writing him off as a friend. It sucks, I know. But why would you put in so much effort into someone who doesn't care or want to be in your life?

    One of my best friends (we've been friends for over 10 years) recently started ignoring me. First, it was our busy lives that made us not able to hang out as much. Then I had a baby, and I was the one reaching out to her all the time to catch up. We would talk, but as soon as I mentioned hanging out, she would ignore me. This went on for over a year. Finally I decided to not give a *kitten* because she obviously didn't want to be in my life anymore for whatever reason.

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