Help: I am skinny fat

Hello, my name is Abbie. I'm 20 years old, 5'4 and weigh in at around 117lbs right now. I know what you're thinking, "117 pounds, you're so skinny!" Well, that's half of the problem. I also have what seems like 0% muscle mass, and though I may look thin with the right clothes, if I wear anything form fitting I just look awkward and I just don't feel as beautiful as I can be.
My main problem areas are my arms and my stomach. I have what you would call "mom arms" and my stomach seriously looks like a doughnut perched on two sticks that would be my legs. By all means, I'm not completely disappointed in the way I look and my health but I just know that I can be better.
Here's my main problem: I know absolutely nothing about what to eat or how to exercise, and when I try to do my research it just seems so confusing and discouraging. I've tried coming up with my own health plan which consisted of basically starving myself but I had absolutely no energy for working out. Then I started working out but didn't see the results I was hoping for. Meaning I didn't see any results at all.
Please help! I've been this way since I could remember and I'm just so tired of looking this way. I know I have the potential to be better, I just need help and motivation.
I don't expect anyone to write out a detailed calendar of when to work out and what to eat what days. But anything will help.

Thanks!~:smile:

Replies

  • mlima14
    mlima14 Posts: 112 Member
    You need to lift weights to help you tone. There is no spot targeting! Don't be afraid of the weights you will never look like a guy unless you take steroids and I don't believe that is your goal. Don't do cardio like there's no tomorrow just use it as a warm up and cool down, about 10 minutes. Cardio burns your muscle mass (look at pics of long distance runners vs. sprinters you will see the difference in muscle tone) Remember to stretch after lifting weights so your not too sore the next few days. Consistency is a must to see results. That's all the advice I can offer you, might want to watch videos on how to lift properly so you won't hurt yourself or you could ask some of the staff at the gym to help you with your form or if you have the funds hire a personal trainer for a few sessions to show you around the gym and the proper form. Hope this helps, best of luck!
  • segovm
    segovm Posts: 512 Member
    I'm sure lots of folks on here will be willing to help. It's not that horrible of a problem to have. I did the same thing in my twenties, lost a bunch of weight but still had a bit of fat around my belly that I could never get rid of.

    For me, the answer was just adding more protein to my diet and lifting some weights. I was vegan at the time I was tiny before so I had next to no protein in my diet. Just google what the right amount is for you. You might gain a little weight but you will look great doing it if there are some muscles under it.

    Lots of people will go on about the advantages of lifting weights but if that isn't your cup of tea (not everyone loves the gym) you can do a ton of stuff with just your body. Push ups, pull ups and sit ups have been building bodies for a long time.

    Last but not least try not to hate on yourself too much. You're young, it's an easy problem to fix.
  • Ababy01
    Ababy01 Posts: 4
    Thank you so much guys!
    Gyms are another problem. So intimidating! Living on my own in an apartment I do have the luxury of a small gym in my complex but it seems to always be PACKED with people. Not only that, it's almost impossible to find time to go working full time and going to school, so I'd be much more comfortable trying to do workouts at home. I'd definitely be willing to purchase some weights if necessary!
    Thanks for the advice!
  • starrylioness
    starrylioness Posts: 543 Member
    I would purchase some weights for at home use and maybe even look on ebay or craigs list for used equipment to have at home. :smile:
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    Honestly the cure for skinny fat isn't starvation, it isn't even a moderate caloric deficit. It is eating ABOVE your maintenance level and lifting heavy weights. "Heavy" here just means weights where the 5-8 rep range is tough and for someone with little muscle that might not even be that much weight you just have to figure out what amount of weight makes it difficult to complete come rep 8. You can do a lot with a set of adjustable dumbbells if you are low muscle and just starting out.

    So here is what you do. You figure out the number of calories you maintain at and you add a couple of hundred to that number. Then you come up with a workout plan, I would suggest a 3 day a week full-body lifting plan like Monday Wednesday Friday lifting for 45 min to an hour doing an exercise for each muscle group. Figure out what your burn is and make sure you eat those calories back as well.

    Likely you are going to be eating something like 2000 calories but that is for you to figure out. Don't let a big number scare you, the point is to gain weight here...just muscle weight. That takes calories.
  • torichantel2005
    torichantel2005 Posts: 42 Member
    I would go out and purchase some weights and get ahold of P90X, if I were you. I would say that's about the easiest, cheapest way to do what you're looking for (guidelines, mostly). There are different programs that use the P90X DVD's, some are to lose weight, some are to gain mass. If you follow the entire program for gaining muscle mass, I imagine you'd see results. But like others have said, you have to KEEP DOING IT, muscle mass, definition, and strength disappear very quickly if you stop lifting. Good luck!
  • davelfc49
    davelfc49 Posts: 29 Member
    If you have no room or no budget for weights, consider resistance bands. I purchased a set a couple of months ago and I am really seeing improvements. I use Bodylastics, I know there are others on the market but I did my research and they suit me. My daughter was impressed and I bought her a set, my son even takes them to use.

    You get a chart with exercises shown and each one has a number, if you go to their website you can type in that number and you are shown a video of how to do that exercise correctly. Each band comes with a resistance number, I'd recommend the basic set which you can get online at a reasonable price.

    I have no links with this company but I can say that they work. For people that feel a little intimidated by the gym or just don't have space for a set of weights at home, these are ideal.

    Good luck anyway and I hope you achieve what you want.
  • Fujiberry
    Fujiberry Posts: 400 Member
    You're going to have to get to a gym to start lifting then! Dumbbells are great, but they can't be used to everything that you need, and you'll also need a wide range of weights. Gaining muscle (or 'toning' as some call it) requires constant resistance, so you'll have to keep upping your weights (which can get expensive if you're trying to do this at home).

    This is my transformation from skinny-fat to fit:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1281688-from-skinny-fat-to-fit-and-muscular

    And this are the exercises that you should be focusing on:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1308750-so-you-want-to-start-lifting-great

    Find your TDEE at iifym.com. Your maintenance is probably around this number. Eat at a surplus to gain muscle, or at least at maintenance. If you're intimidated, ask one of the trainers at your gym.
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    I would go out and purchase some weights and get ahold of P90X, if I were you. I would say that's about the easiest, cheapest way to do what you're looking for (guidelines, mostly). There are different programs that use the P90X DVD's, some are to lose weight, some are to gain mass. If you follow the entire program for gaining muscle mass, I imagine you'd see results. But like others have said, you have to KEEP DOING IT, muscle mass, definition, and strength disappear very quickly if you stop lifting. Good luck!

    Honestly P90X is much more of a weight loss program than a muscle building program. Their lifting routines are mostly bodyweight stuff that is rapid-fire in circuit training style that makes it more cardio than heavy lifting. Then the other half of the routines are just straight cardio.

    If you want to put on muscle eat lots of food and grab a barbell or some heavy dumbells and do multiple sets with low rep and plenty of rest between sets.
  • Ababy01
    Ababy01 Posts: 4
    Okay, I've gotten some great advice! Starving myself is a no-no. And I want to focus more on muscle building than cardio, right? I've tried some Jillian Michaels videos as well, and they did a good job of making sweat. But that was about it it seemed like.
    I feel that this weight to lose is more difficult because I've had these problems areas since I was probably 12 or 13. I remember looking in the mirror and thinking "people say I'm skinny, but what is all of this then?" as I squished and crumpled my stomach.
    Also, what should I stick to eating? I heard white meat like chicken breast is good.
    Thanks for the advice everyone!
  • Fujiberry
    Fujiberry Posts: 400 Member
    The amount of calories you're eating is more important at this point. You can eat 100% clean if you'd like, but you can still be way over/undereating either way.
  • RECowgill
    RECowgill Posts: 881 Member
    Ababy- good for you for realizing those unhealthy habits aren't working. Skinny fat isn't a healthy state of being, and I'm glad you realize you shouldn't starve yourself.

    Firstly, listen to the advice Fujiberry is giving, she knows her stuff. If you want a body like hers (I assume something like that is your target?) then she'll put you on the right path.

    You shouldn't be doing any cardio, not only is it wasted effort it won't get you away from a skinny fat body. You just need to eat right, lift weights and get enough rest. Ditch all thoughts of cardio, and get in the mindset of eating enough food.

    http://iifym.com/iifym-calculator/

    Your TDEE is 1769 according to the calculator. That's the amount of calories per day you should be eating to maintain your weight. Bulking would be anywhere from 18-1900ish, this is something you'll have to play with. Fuji is right in that you'll want to be somewhere between your maintenence and bulking, you have to play with the numbers a bit (could be very slightly less or slightly more). I'd just pick a number like 1900 and start there, try it for a couple of weeks, then make adjustments. Then adjust again and again until you're getting results that work.

    You don't need to lift weights more than 3x a week for 45 minutes to get an effective workout.. You can do more if you want but I wouldn't push that too far. I do 3x a week for 60 minutes each personally. There's no benefit to excessively training and overtraining can set you back, just like undertraining (sitting on a couch all day) would also set you back. Like diet, you have to feel this one out. What can you handle, what gives you results. It's a little different for each person.

    Get good rest. Sleep at least 8 hours and take naps if you can. Your body is going to need it. Muscles grow during recovery, not during workouts. Lack of sleep will stall your progress. Don't be discouraged for not getting the balance right at the start. Expect and plan that it will take months to really institute all these changes. If you do all this right it will take time, I always found that realistic expectations about how slow the progress rate can be helped me to keep my sanity.

    The weight training routine you pick won't matter too much, any of them would be effective for you to start. It needs to be actual resistance training, so if you're doing an exercise for 8 reps, that last rep needs to be pretty hard to do. If its too easy, then its too light. But here as well, don't be discouraged if you can't lift a lot of weight to start, it's not the amount that counts, it's a question of is it heavy enough for you to get in the right amount of resistance.

    And just so you really understand this, there is no weight lifting for men or women. There is only weight lifting for humans. Men and women respond differently to resistance work (there's gender dimorphism, and men have more testosterone), but there is no different way for us to train. So it's not possible with weights for you to "look like a man' any more than it's possible for me to "look like a woman". These things are just myths and stereotypes perpetuated by an uneducated public.
  • Ababy01
    Ababy01 Posts: 4
    Wow, great advice! Thank you so much for taking the time to help me out with his. I really appreciate it.
    I would LOVE to look like Fujiberry. Looking at her pictures she looks stunning! Congratulations BTW! I'm very impressed Fuji!
    I'm just ready for a change and I figure, what better place or people to help, than here!

    I'm going to start making a plan for myself for weight lifting and some other exercises just training with my body.(push ups, sit ups, pull ups, lunges and squats) only 3 days a week. I'm going to maintain my calorie intake between 1,800 and 1,900 and try to keep foods relatively healthy. No fried foods, nothing high in sugars. I'm not going to change my whole pantry, but some more fruits and vegetables with leaner meats shouldn't hurt.

    I need to make sure I get enough sleep and just maintain this until I see the results I want. I mean, I do have lots going on such as graduation, moving out of my apartment, visiting my family out of town and taking a two month backpacking trip to Europe all in the next two moths so if I stray a little from the workouts how poorly should that affect me? I'll just start lunging my way to my breakfast table and everywhere I go if I have to!

    And I know this is a rookie question, but how long until I start seeing results? Any changes in my body at all?

    Thank you RRCowgill! And thanks everyone else!
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    Wow, great advice! Thank you so much for taking the time to help me out with his. I really appreciate it.
    I would LOVE to look like Fujiberry. Looking at her pictures she looks stunning! Congratulations BTW! I'm very impressed Fuji!
    I'm just ready for a change and I figure, what better place or people to help, than here!

    I'm going to start making a plan for myself for weight lifting and some other exercises just training with my body.(push ups, sit ups, pull ups, lunges and squats) only 3 days a week. I'm going to maintain my calorie intake between 1,800 and 1,900 and try to keep foods relatively healthy. No fried foods, nothing high in sugars. I'm not going to change my whole pantry, but some more fruits and vegetables with leaner meats shouldn't hurt.

    I need to make sure I get enough sleep and just maintain this until I see the results I want. I mean, I do have lots going on such as graduation, moving out of my apartment, visiting my family out of town and taking a two month backpacking trip to Europe all in the next two moths so if I stray a little from the workouts how poorly should that affect me? I'll just start lunging my way to my breakfast table and everywhere I go if I have to!

    And I know this is a rookie question, but how long until I start seeing results? Any changes in my body at all?

    Thank you RRCowgill! And thanks everyone else!

    I'd just add one thing to the advice you are getting and that is this. Your current TDEE doesn't include the exercises you will be adding to start building muscle. If you do more exercise your TDEE goes up and you have to eat more as a result. Therefore if you end up doing a lot of exercise you will need to eat more than 1900. How much more can be hard to figure out but basically you estimate your burn, eat that back and adjust as needed over the months where you start seeing changes to your body.

    1900 is a good place to start though probably.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
    Here is a great inspirational story of a woman your age and height who transformed her body, first from overweight to skinny fat, and then to KICK *kitten* STRONG by ditching cardio and lifting heavy. Read. be amazed.

    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

    A really good place to learn about lifting is NEW RULES OF LIFTING FOR WOMEN. I think it's a great place to get started, although after phase 1, I suggest switching to a more efficient plan such as Stronglifts.com (free website geared toward men, but disregard that, just use the program).

    This is a fantastic time in your life to get fit and start lifting. I didn't get lifting until 43, and while I'm glad I did start, I sure wish I hadn't wasted so many years of hungry dieting and over-cardio.

    Blessings.
  • Fujiberry
    Fujiberry Posts: 400 Member
    Ababy- good for you for realizing those unhealthy habits aren't working. Skinny fat isn't a healthy state of being, and I'm glad you realize you shouldn't starve yourself.

    Firstly, listen to the advice Fujiberry is giving, she knows her stuff. If you want a body like hers (I assume something like that is your target?) then she'll put you on the right path.

    You shouldn't be doing any cardio, not only is it wasted effort it won't get you away from a skinny fat body. You just need to eat right, lift weights and get enough rest. Ditch all thoughts of cardio, and get in the mindset of eating enough food.

    http://iifym.com/iifym-calculator/

    Your TDEE is 1769 according to the calculator. That's the amount of calories per day you should be eating to maintain your weight. Bulking would be anywhere from 18-1900ish, this is something you'll have to play with. Fuji is right in that you'll want to be somewhere between your maintenence and bulking, you have to play with the numbers a bit (could be very slightly less or slightly more). I'd just pick a number like 1900 and start there, try it for a couple of weeks, then make adjustments. Then adjust again and again until you're getting results that work.

    You don't need to lift weights more than 3x a week for 45 minutes to get an effective workout.. You can do more if you want but I wouldn't push that too far. I do 3x a week for 60 minutes each personally. There's no benefit to excessively training and overtraining can set you back, just like undertraining (sitting on a couch all day) would also set you back. Like diet, you have to feel this one out. What can you handle, what gives you results. It's a little different for each person.

    Get good rest. Sleep at least 8 hours and take naps if you can. Your body is going to need it. Muscles grow during recovery, not during workouts. Lack of sleep will stall your progress. Don't be discouraged for not getting the balance right at the start. Expect and plan that it will take months to really institute all these changes. If you do all this right it will take time, I always found that realistic expectations about how slow the progress rate can be helped me to keep my sanity.

    The weight training routine you pick won't matter too much, any of them would be effective for you to start. It needs to be actual resistance training, so if you're doing an exercise for 8 reps, that last rep needs to be pretty hard to do. If its too easy, then its too light. But here as well, don't be discouraged if you can't lift a lot of weight to start, it's not the amount that counts, it's a question of is it heavy enough for you to get in the right amount of resistance.

    And just so you really understand this, there is no weight lifting for men or women. There is only weight lifting for humans. Men and women respond differently to resistance work (there's gender dimorphism, and men have more testosterone), but there is no different way for us to train. So it's not possible with weights for you to "look like a man' any more than it's possible for me to "look like a woman". These things are just myths and stereotypes perpetuated by an uneducated public.

    THIS.

    Btw, I love how you elaborate my posts. I don't always remember that some people might not be familiar with fitness facts and terminologies. :)
  • Fujiberry
    Fujiberry Posts: 400 Member
    Wow, great advice! Thank you so much for taking the time to help me out with his. I really appreciate it.
    I would LOVE to look like Fujiberry. Looking at her pictures she looks stunning! Congratulations BTW! I'm very impressed Fuji!
    I'm just ready for a change and I figure, what better place or people to help, than here!

    I'm going to start making a plan for myself for weight lifting and some other exercises just training with my body.(push ups, sit ups, pull ups, lunges and squats) only 3 days a week. I'm going to maintain my calorie intake between 1,800 and 1,900 and try to keep foods relatively healthy. No fried foods, nothing high in sugars. I'm not going to change my whole pantry, but some more fruits and vegetables with leaner meats shouldn't hurt.

    I need to make sure I get enough sleep and just maintain this until I see the results I want. I mean, I do have lots going on such as graduation, moving out of my apartment, visiting my family out of town and taking a two month backpacking trip to Europe all in the next two moths so if I stray a little from the workouts how poorly should that affect me? I'll just start lunging my way to my breakfast table and everywhere I go if I have to!

    And I know this is a rookie question, but how long until I start seeing results? Any changes in my body at all?

    Thank you RRCowgill! And thanks everyone else!

    Thank you for the compliment!!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    Also, keep in mind that intensity is much better than frequency when you're working out. The reason I bring this up is because technically, both of these women have the same TDEE is they plug in their info on the TDEE calc:

    Woman A, exercises 4x a week, 1 hour of brisk power walking, and some jogging.
    Woman B, exercises 4x a week, 1 hour of heavy lifting.

    Both will have the same TDEE, but this number will be more accurate for one woman over the other (so the woman A might actually be 'overeating' if she eats around this number compared to woman B.

    If you have intense workouts, if you get enough rest, if you're consistent in getting enough food and working out, then you should see strength/endurance/energy level changes within 2-3 weeks. Don't stress out too much about the visual progress. Focus on doing things right and the results will come. :)

    Also, I forgot to mention this. Next to getting the right amount of calories to build muscle and allow your body to recover, you should also focus on getting enough protein. You should be getting .8-1.5 g of protein per bodyweight pound. Protein can be found in meats, dairy/cheese products, some protein-fortified products, nuts/legumes, some veggies like spinach and broccoli, and protein powder. This is essential in building muscle.

    If you're tracking macros, you should focus on hitting your goals in this order: Protein > fats > Carbs
    Hit your protein goal. Hit your fat goal. And eat carbs for energy (eat more carbs on your workout days if you need it). Don't be afraid to eat treats if you need them to hit your goal.

    If you're looking to get stronger without any equipment, it might be hard, but not impossible. Look into calisthenics. There's a few calisthenic workouts available online.

    Always remember though--
    Strength: 1-6 reps
    Muscle & Strength: 7-12 reps
    Endurance: 12+ reps

    (You should be struggling through the last few reps)

    So don't believe those 'squat/push-ups/abs challenges' that you see online. They're great for endurance, but not ideal at all when building muscle and gaining strength.

    Hope this helps as well!
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
    I would go out and purchase some weights and get ahold of P90X, if I were you. I would say that's about the easiest, cheapest way to do what you're looking for (guidelines, mostly). There are different programs that use the P90X DVD's, some are to lose weight, some are to gain mass. If you follow the entire program for gaining muscle mass, I imagine you'd see results. But like others have said, you have to KEEP DOING IT, muscle mass, definition, and strength disappear very quickly if you stop lifting. Good luck!

    Honestly P90X is much more of a weight loss program than a muscle building program. Their lifting routines are mostly bodyweight stuff that is rapid-fire in circuit training style that makes it more cardio than heavy lifting. Then the other half of the routines are just straight cardio.

    If you want to put on muscle eat lots of food and grab a barbell or some heavy dumbells and do multiple sets with low rep and plenty of rest between sets.

    true, but not quite...

    P90x could be a very good start for beginners. And you can use heavier weight if you want.

    I liked P90x when I was on it but now thinking back, time is the big turnoff for me to go back to the routine. and Tony...you can only take this much of him or he will get really annoying. LOL