I'm a Victim...

..of a Self-Fulfilled Destiny. My whole life. I can't remember the pivotal moment when my aspirations took the back burner or when, in my life, I decided silently to believe the thoughtless words spoken both by loved ones and by strangers but I did. In high school, I was the loser, so I played that part. People called me stupid or treated me as such, I embodied it. I stopped trying. I was told that me being overweight was just something that happened, so I quit exercising and trying to maintain my health. I had a myriad of reasons. My failure to appease my parents by dropping out of college, my inability to hold down a job more than a month because I had every excuse in the book to my failure, my depression crept up on me like a slow - choking weed to a flower. My mind was my crutch.

Then, after kids, I was told my body would never be the same, so I shouldn't worry about weight loss. It wasn't even close to truth. Sure, my body will never be the same. I have stretch marks down my stomach, my thighs, my calves both from rapid weight gain and children. But it certainly didn't impede my ability to take care of myself. I had been a victim my whole life. I blamed everyone else for my shortcomings, some of which I cannot take back. But what set me free was the knowledge that we are what we make our life to be. I'm not saying there's a cookie cutter answer to this. We all have our own destinies, we all have things that truly do impede our abilities to succeed but we CAN overcome. Maybe it'll take longer than others. Maybe it will take our whole lives.

Now, I'd rather spend my life trying to achieve my aspirations and believing in myself than stuck in the catacombs of my mind, pretending the labyrinth is too complicated to handle. We are either standing still or we are moving forward. The pace doesn't matter. The will to fight is still a will, nonetheless. So fight! I won't ever be a victim to myself again.



sorry, that was very Nike-esk lmao.