Vol 2 attractiveness when single?

Of course feeling attractive comes from more than one source though I sometimes think if I had a boyfriend telling me I was beautiful every day that would help me to feel beautiful, and also I would care most about his opinion than others so other women/men's comments wouldn't affect me so much.

I have been single for 2 years, and sometimes I think it sucks not having someone to get dolled up for. Like I put on makeup and wear clothes that I think look good, but no one's looking. No one cares. No one gets close enough to see my nail polish. It's ironic, I only had 1 eye shadow duo and 1 eye shadow trio when I had a boyfriend though I obtained a quint a few months into our relationship, and now that my makeup collection has multiplied no one's looking

No one notices my clothes. Even when my boyfriend was drunk he would notice if I was wearing something new and ask me where did you get that. I don't even bother buying dresses because it's not like I have a man to go to a restaurant or museum with who would appreciate it. I do go to restaurants sometimes like with friends but yeah.

If I were in a relationship I would want to have really shiny and nice hair so I would buy bumble and bumble shampoo and conditioner. I was actually thinking about buying someone but no one's looking so I don't really care. Sometimes I have to force myself to wear makeup and perfume, like I have to remind myself look there's no point not using it just bc you're single, you enjoy using it don't you, live a little. You bought it, don't let it go to waste just bc you are single.

I miss my boyfriend used to tell me that I am beautiful. In the morning I of course didn't have makeup when I woke up and he said you are so ugly without makeup because he knows I love makeup. Then I hid my face and he said I'm joking you're the most beautiful, you are a princess. then we burst out laughing. Also when I put on my makeup he joked, you put on makeup to go to the store? Which man are you trying to impress?

Honestly my first boyfriend at first he told me that I'm the perfect girl and I'm beautiful and he wants everyone to know I am with him, but later he said that his ex gf is prettier than me a lot, much better than me, and he pointed out girls that are better looking on the sidewalk, which is pretty much everyone, so we broke up, but now I'm older so I know he did that to make me insecure because he was afraid I will leave him. Actually right before he talked that way he kept asking why are you with me, you can be with someone else, why me, etc.

Anyways yes I do miss being told I am beautiful, even if they didn't say it you know they are with you so they can't be too attracted to you. My boyfriend had quite light skin and a tiny little body. He was cute in an endearing way like a pet not in a lustful type of way which is fine by me. The guy I liked last had tanned skin which is okay, not everyone has to look the same. anyways the only other time someone has said I am looking good is this girl, and she doesn't like me, so I know she means it, not just saying it to be nice. Sometimes I remind myself of that when I feel bad.

can anyone relate to anything that I'm saying?