Family (especially parents) judging is very hurtful.

Take it one day at a time. Do it for you and not for them , you will see the results you want to see if you stick with it. Feel free to add me as a friend and i would be happy to offer support anytime. If it were easy none of us would be here, you are not alone.

Thanks for the add, there are lots of good people on here working towards the same goal. Remember one day at a time.

I spent years and years starting and failing at 'diets' becuase I was only doing it for the wrong reasons....because other people wanted me too. I was am emotional bing eater and trapped in a vicious circle and eating to make myself feel better and then hating myself for the binging and weight gain that came with it. I also felt massively judged by everyone including my family and my husband (although I have to say that my family were never quite as obvious as yours seem to be)....I think a lot of it was my own perception due to low self esteem.

Eventually I went for therapy. I turned out that i identified that eating was my coping mechanism for stress and I needed to find a new one. With a lot of work I changed things round so that I now use exercise as my coping strategy for stress. If I feel bad I workout or go run and it makes me feel so happy! It's me time, i get everything straight in my head.

The moral of the story is, you've got to do it for yourself. Find out why you eat bad. Tell your family to back off, tell them that they're just making it worse, that they're destroying your self-esteem and it needs to stop. Tell then you need support not judgement. Tell your Dad to go workout with you!

Just take things slowly; don't be put off by slow progress. Progress is progress at any speed. You didn't gain the weight overnight and you won't lose it overnight, but if you get your head straight then the journey can be fun.

I've now lost 48lb in 7 months.....it hasn't been fast but it has been consistent. I'm not half way to my goal and so excited for the next 48lb to be gone! If I can do this then YOU can do this! Just have a little faith in yourself and your confidence will grow as you shrink.

I am happy to be MFP friends with you if you need support, just send me a request if you'd like that .

You can do it OP!! Like everyone mentioned, 1 day at a time.

I have found through the years, with my own experience and the experience of others, that a lot of the time, especially family, are not very supportive when it comes to healthy living. You would think it would be the opposite, but sadly, it isn't. They are either, very mean, don't care, judgmental, and even when you achieve results, they are jealous, still bring you down, call you obsessed, etc...

At the end of the day, it needs to be something for YOU, and only YOU!

I completely avoid abusive and toxic people, and I severely limit my exposure to negative people. I'm a happier person for it. Good luck OP! Do this for YOU and ignore or avoid negative influences. :flowerforyou:

Judgement from others is always such an issue for many. I have really supportive friends and family, but even then I am being judged, with my mum sometimes saying "you're too thin", "you don't need to exercise or lose any more weight", "are you sure you're eating enough?". Your relatives obviously care about you and your health but they obviously don't realise their tactics are having a detrimental affect.

Are you close to your family, particularly your parents? Perhaps have a quiet word with them (or write a letter) to tell them what their words are doing to you mentally and physically. They may not realise how you're feeling. Explain that you're trying to change your lifestyle and lose weight, but it will take time and patience. Explain that they won't see results over night but you are working to meet your goals.

At the end of the day it's all about you - its YOUR life. Start having confidence in yourself - tell yourself that you're motivated and you're going to do what it takes to achieve your goals. Ignore the negativity in your life and focus on you for a change - you've had to spend a lot of time caring for others so now it's time to care for yourself.

As someone has already mentioned, there are lots of supportive people on MFP who want to help each other. Feel free to add me

Good luck :flowerforyou:

I know how you can feel, it happens to me quite alot. But this is not for your parents this is for you. Try your best to tell them how you feel and talk to them, and if they don't listen talk to your friends. True friends will support you. If you need anything don't hesitate to message me, i am here for you and anyone else that needs help good luck :flowerforyou:

stop spending so much time with your family?! just concentrate on doing you.

This. Your family may love you and think what they are saying and doing is helpful but it's not. Stop seeing them so much for awhile and just focus on you. Instead of every week go once a month. If they ask what's up tell them that you are trying to focus on yourself and don't appreciate all the comments about your weight all the time. They will get the hint and hopefully it will stop.

I feel your pain. I have struggled with my weight all my life. Growing up there was never any discussion about healthy diet and exercise. When I was 24, and a month before my wedding, my father had his first heart attack. I say first because I can't even remember how many he has had since then. He has diabetes, cholesterol issues, and on and on. Finally a few years later before my 10 yr high school reunion I went on Weight Watchers, did great and lost the weight. For the 1st time in my life I ate healthy and worked out. I was shocked to find that I could have the body of one of the "skinny girls" I weighed about 5 lbs less than I had most of my life, but all the sudden my family was freaking out that I was too skinny. Granted because I was fit I wore a smaller size then I ever had. So of course I fell off the wagon and gradually gained all that weight back and then some. Hopefully this time I can keep my head straight and realize that I will lose this weight for me and ignore what they think since it seems I will always be too fat or too skinny for them. I just need to learn to be happy with me!!!

I know exactly how you feel. Growing up, when I weighed less than I do now, my dad would always comment and tell me that I'm "getting a little bit chubby" or I "haven't being doing a whole lot lately, and need to get out more" and many other, meaner comments when he would drink. I've struggled my whole life with being comfortable in my body. My first step that even got me motivated at all was not caring anymore about what anyone else said, realizing that I'm beautiful either way. The only thing I can do from here is improve for myself, realizing that I'm not losing weight for anyone but myself, because I want to be healthy for myself and my future. No matter what, You're still you, weight doesn't change who you are. How you see yourself changes who you are. Ignore the outside voices from your family and anyone else against you. You can do it as long as you WANT to. Heck If you don't want to lose weight then you don't even have to. Do what you what for yourself.

I know how you feel and I sympathise with you. My immediate family has always been supportive, but my relatives can be downright rude about my weight. The first thing they would say to me at a gathering is 'It's time for you to lose weight, don't you think?' or 'Your legs look fat, you need to do something about them', or simply, 'You're fat.'

I try to tell myself that they mean well (well, some of them obviously don't mean well, aka female cousins who love to gossip and compare this and that). But I do feel the pressure whenever some family gathering's approaching. and to make it worse, those cousins aren't even healthy themselves - they are skinny but only because they purge almost every time they eat.

The best thing I've found about this is that the anger I have actually motivates me to work harder - when I'm doing particularly tough workouts I have thoughts like 'so you think I can't be fit, huh?' or, 'I'll do this the right way, instead of purging, just to show you'. Not sure if this is a good mentality or not, but it has been pushing me. In any case, I've gradually learned to enjoy exercising a bit more than before.

Hope that my sharing helps, even in a small way. You can do it!! Let's show 'em!!

My family tends to very judgmental as well…. not necessarily on the weight stuff (since we are ALL overweight), but on other issues I am dealing with. I'm very close to my family and this was hard. I had to learn to distance myself emotionally from them. With my father, it was a physical distance as well. You have to know that what you are doing you are doing for YOU! This is not a competition. It is not a race. It is a lifestyle. This distance doesn't have to be a permanent thing… you can always come back around once you are feeling stronger within yourself. I don't know your situation, but It may help if you just talk to them. Let them know that you would like to lose weight and get healthier and that you are trying to… But that their comments are hurtful, not helpful. Find friends who are supportive. Surround yourself with positive people.

You can do this! You didn't put the weight on overnight… it's not going to come off overnight. Feel free to add me if I can be a support to you.

That really sucks, prove them wrong, but make sure you do what you want to do, Never let them take the credit! If you need support please add me! We are all here for each other

I know what your going through and honestly feel for u
But I can tell you one thing. By being here and being true to your diet plan you have at least taken control of a situation which is obviously not going to get better by itself. I think while it may hurt and make u feel very lonely to be picked on by family it also gives you the drive to win this weight loss battle just to make them see you are more than just overweight.

Believe me I know exactly where you are coming from. And trust me when you see those kilos peeling off it will give you the high of your life. And you will not want to stop till you have come to that ideal goal weight of yours. Your weight and the way you look and feel is absolutely in your hand. It is the one thing you have complete control over. The day i came to that realization working out and eating healthy became a mission for me.

But you must must must remember that losing weight is not a quick fix. It will take weeks even months and quite honestly a complete revamping of your eating habits for life. It took me very very long to lose weight and I am still trying to lose those last 5+ kgs. But I know I will get there. As long as I look good and feel healthy that is my personal battle. Keep realistic goals. Look at horizons of 6 odd months and plan out where you would like to be. If you are consistently working out then despite the plateaus your weight will come off.

Good luck and I truly pray you succeed