I'm so ashamed of how I look

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kimgriffinapparently
kimgriffinapparently Posts: 31 Member
in Motivation and Support
Back at School I crept up to 11 stone. At Uni, I actually realised that I was overweight. I lost 2 stone in 3 months. I wasn't healthy about it, infact by the end of the weightloss (Around 7 months after this), I was classified as having an eating disorder, had to take a year out of Uni to fix myself and see a psychiatrist. I was just addicted to exercise and ate nothing but quorn, micro veg and applies.

When I 'allowed' myself to eat normally and exercise reasonably, i did gain around 7lbs, but I was okay with that. I managed to keep myself in that area for the next year. The year after, I gained another 7 lbs. I thought 10 stone is not bad, I can live with this.

Last year, I gained 2 stone. I have been trying to lose it for ages. What will happen is, I'll diet great for 3 weeks then a wedding or something will happen and over a weekend, that's almost all the weight I lost gained back. Sometimes, I gain more.

I two pictures of me on here. One is the slim me, the other is me last night. I feel like i can never eat without guilt, can never wear clothes that fit and when I put make up on, I just think...whats the point?

I'm back on the diet and have lost 5 lbs in a week. This is my initial boost loss, after this I will be working to lose the rest but to keep so tightly to a regime, I worry that I will fall back in to the control freak state. How else can anyone stick to this without getting obsessed?

Replies

  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    Therapist and a nutritionist.
  • pyrowill
    pyrowill Posts: 1,163 Member
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    You will not gain any of the actual weight you lost over a weekend partying. What happens is you gain some water weight from eating and drinking bad things, you don't see it as temporary, panic, then get depressed and continue to do bad things which ACTUALLY make you gain proper weight. Browse the forums, log your food. start to feel change.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    For me and my weight loss journey. I have to almost obsess over it. Everything I do is to lose weight. EVERYTHING. I eat to lose weight and also gain muscles. I workout to rev and raise metabolism= more weight being burn while I do nothing. You to take this seriously. BTW i notice that yes you find yourself unattractive but you still put up a photo which says more than what you think. You will get there but you have to want it.
  • johnnyhatesjazz
    johnnyhatesjazz Posts: 95 Member
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    You can be healthy. Its a life long thing.Diets are temporary. We can help you through it. Lots of good motivators on here..Feel free to add me Im on every day. And after I lose my goal Ill still be on here maintaining while I tone up Have a great day Good luck
    Back at School I crept up to 11 stone. At Uni, I actually realised that I was overweight. I lost 2 stone in 3 months. I wasn't healthy about it, infact by the end of the weightloss (Around 7 months after this), I was classified as having an eating disorder, had to take a year out of Uni to fix myself and see a psychiatrist. I was just addicted to exercise and ate nothing but quorn, micro veg and applies.

    When I 'allowed' myself to eat normally and exercise reasonably, i did gain around 7lbs, but I was okay with that. I managed to keep myself in that area for the next year. The year after, I gained another 7 lbs. I thought 10 stone is not bad, I can live with this.

    Last year, I gained 2 stone. I have been trying to lose it for ages. What will happen is, I'll diet great for 3 weeks then a wedding or something will happen and over a weekend, that's almost all the weight I lost gained back. Sometimes, I gain more.

    I two pictures of me on here. One is the slim me, the other is me last night. I feel like i can never eat without guilt, can never wear clothes that fit and when I put make up on, I just think...whats the point?

    I'm back on the diet and have lost 5 lbs in a week. This is my initial boost loss, after this I will be working to lose the rest but to keep so tightly to a regime, I worry that I will fall back in to the control freak state. How else can anyone stick to this without getting obsessed?
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
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    Yes, I have to obsess over it because I swear all it takes is 30 minutes of not obsessing and I can easily eat thousands of calories and gain a few pounds in one day.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    Yes, I have to obsess over it because I swear all it takes is 30 minutes of not obsessing and I can easily eat thousands of calories and gain a few pounds in one day.

    1+ one day at a time. Keep making good healthy food choices+ Exercise+ Stay active+ Research metabolism.= The weight will fall off.
  • kimgriffinapparently
    kimgriffinapparently Posts: 31 Member
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    Thanks everyone. I sound so pathetic the way I'm going on but I swear, I just wish I could enjoy what's left of my 20s without being ruled by my weight.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    Do you feel like something else is weighing on you?
  • DoNotSpamMe73
    DoNotSpamMe73 Posts: 286 Member
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    You will not gain any of the actual weight you lost over a weekend partying. What happens is you gain some water weight from eating and drinking bad things, you don't see it as temporary, panic, then get depressed and continue to do bad things which ACTUALLY make you gain proper weight. Browse the forums, log your food. start to feel change.

    I must admit I've gotten paranoid after consuming a lot at picnics/parties or just more than I usually do. I've logged it and eaten bugger all the week following from paranoia. That is much worse than a couple of splurges health wise I think.
  • pyrowill
    pyrowill Posts: 1,163 Member
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    Thanks everyone. I sound so pathetic the way I'm going on but I swear, I just wish I could enjoy what's left of my 20s without being ruled by my weight.

    Then stop putting yourself down, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and make some changes. Weight loss isn't complicated at all, just not super easy.
  • jtw158
    jtw158 Posts: 7
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    Happiness is a choice. You are only rules by your weight because you allow yourself to be.

    Don't focus on the negatives, about how you don't like how you look. There are negatives all around us and you more you think about them, the more you will find and it is easy to become depressed and miserable.

    Focus on the positives. If you came in under your goal today allow yourself to feel good about it, if you had a good workout today then allow yourself to feel good about it.

    A lot of times we all get so self focused and think that everyone is always judging us. Most of the time those people don't think about us at all, they are too busy worrying about what other people think about them.

    You are a human being and you deserve love. We can't always get love externally, the first part if to love yourself. And if you can't love yourself because of some "flaw" you see then you should keep working on it, because this isn't real love.

    Good luck, all my love to you.
  • kimgriffinapparently
    kimgriffinapparently Posts: 31 Member
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    Thanks so much everyone. Part of me is just worried about getting too obsessed in case I end up with an eating disorder again, but if everyone is saying that you really need to dedicate yourself mentally then I guess I will just have to find a way to do this positively.

    Thanks again.

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