Making Whoopee: You're doing it wrong....

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1PatientBear
1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
in Chit-Chat
Can't offend the MFP filters by using the actual word "sex" :huh:

Anyway....

I'll just leave this here....

http://elitedaily.com/dating/why-this-generation-has-no-idea-how-to-actually-have/628648/
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  • madhatter2013
    madhatter2013 Posts: 1,547 Member
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    Best read I've had in quite some time.
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,470 Member
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    I am of the Gen Y and that does not apply to me at all.. I agree with the article but I think it's a lil absurd to say an entire generation is doing it wrong. If you wanted to know about my night, I'd tell you all about the different ways, different places, and different types of "end goal" that I achieved with my husband. But at the same token, I grew up with parents who were very, very open about this topic... You know, the kind that leaves their battery-operated-boyfriend out and doesn't think anything of it.. The kind that has the "talk" with their kids by the time they are 5 years old. So I think that also plays a role. My husband grew up with a mother that made him leave the room if a steamy scene was on TV, even up until he was a teenager.. and I had to teach him how to be a real lover. It's definitely in how you view the act itself.. It also boils down to what women will accept. But you can't say that just because we're the younger generation that we are doing it wrong.. Cause trust me... I am not doing it wrong! :wink:
  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
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    I am of the Gen Y and that does not apply to me at all.. I agree with the article but I think it's a lil absurd to say an entire generation is doing it wrong. If you wanted to know about my night, I'd tell you all about the different ways, different places, and different types of "end goal" that I achieved with my husband. But at the same token, I grew up with parents who were very, very open about this topic... You know, the kind that leaves their battery-operated-boyfriend out and doesn't think anything of it.. The kind that has the "talk" with their kids by the time they are 5 years old. So I think that also plays a role. My husband grew up with a mother that made him leave the room if a steamy scene was on TV, even up until he was a teenager.. and I had to teach him how to be a real lover. It's definitely in how you view the act itself.. It also boils down to what women will accept. But you can't say that just because we're the younger generation that we are doing it wrong.. Cause trust me... I am not doing it wrong! :wink:

    You do know that I didn't write the article, right?? Besides, it's more geared to guys doing it wrong than girls (which is probably an accurate statement)
  • Keepcalmanddontblink
    Keepcalmanddontblink Posts: 718 Member
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    If they are going to compare it to a movie or a play than all I can say is that, when you "watch" a movie for the first time, you enjoy it and read slowly. When you "re-watch" it over, and over, and over again, you tend to skip to all the best parts and the happy ending. :bigsmile:
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,470 Member
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    You do know that I didn't write the article, right?? Besides, it's more geared to guys doing it wrong than girls (which is probably an accurate statement)

    What? You didn't write that? Oh my god! I had no idea!


    Okay, in all seriousness. I agree that it probably is geared more towards guys than girls, and I would also agree that it is probably an accurate statement :laugh: I was just commenting that not all of us Gen Yers are bad in bed/lovemaking.

    I wonder if it's something that usually comes with time too? I've never been with a much, much older guy than me before so I can't say if it's a skill that they learn with time. But good lovemaking is definitely a skill..
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    t I think it's a lil absurd to say an entire generation is doing it wrong.

    I think the article was alluding more to a general trend nowadays where sex is represented to be a one dimensional physical act where to goal is to get to your happy ending as quickly as possible rather than "you're all doing it wrong!". There is definitely a case to say that is true be that because of the "commoditisation" of sex through porn, hypersexuality to sell a desired "lifestyle" or whatever.

    Getting people (and men especially) to think about how intimacy, valuing the actual experience as well as the end game or mental aspects of sex may improve their sex lives rather than just getting something hard in a hole is a good thing in my opinion.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    Can't offend the MFP filters by using the actual word "sex" :huh:

    Anyway....

    I'll just leave this here....

    http://elitedaily.com/dating/why-this-generation-has-no-idea-how-to-actually-have/628648/

    This sentence:

    "The purpose of sex, historically speaking, has always been reproduction. Over time, we realized that while we enjoyed the pleasure that we experience during sex, we don’t so much enjoy the experience that comes nine months later."

    ...couldn't be wronger.... sex for bonding goes back millions of years. Long before humans actually learned the whole "sex makes babies" thing LONG before that. Humans, bonobos (our closest relative) and dolphins do sex for bonding. I'm pretty sure that bonobos and dolphins haven't made the connection between sex and reproduction. And sex for pleasure dates back to when our nervous systems first evolved... the reptilian brain (i.e. the structures in the human brain that are in common with reptiles and date back the furthest in terms of evolution) control the very basic urges - sex, hunger, fear, pain. Sex and eating have to be pleasurable to make the animal do it. Fear and pain have to be unpleasant enough to make the animal avoid things that cause it. These are extremely primitive traits....... sex for bonding has evolved in some large brained social animals because it's pleasurable and bonds two individuals or a group of individuals and aids co-operation within the group, and increases the evolutionary success of the group.

    Not saying the rest of the article isn't good though, really, it makes some good points.... just want to correct their view of the evolution of sex.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    t I think it's a lil absurd to say an entire generation is doing it wrong.

    I think the article was alluding more to a general trend nowadays where sex is represented to be a one dimensional physical act where to goal is to get to your happy ending as quickly as possible rather than "you're all doing it wrong!". There is definitely a case to say that is true be that because of the "commoditisation" of sex through porn, hypersexuality to sell a desired "lifestyle" or whatever.

    Getting people (and men especially) to think about how intimacy, valuing the actual experience as well as the end game or mental aspects of sex may improve their sex lives rather than just getting something hard in a hole is a good thing in my opinion.

    I don't think this is anything new. I mean the phrase "wham bam thank you ma'am" isn't a new expression, is it? And "lie back and think of England" is even older.
  • serendipitys1003
    serendipitys1003 Posts: 88 Member
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    I would just like to say.....I've got this.
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,470 Member
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    Getting people (and men especially) to think about how intimacy, valuing the actual experience as well as the end game or mental aspects of sex may improve their sex lives rather than just getting something hard in a hole is a good thing in my opinion.

    I agree it's a GREAT thing to get people to think about intimacy. I am not denying that at all. I grew up with some very open and vocal parents, particularly with regards to this topic, so maybe I just view it differently than others in my generation.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    t I think it's a lil absurd to say an entire generation is doing it wrong.

    I think the article was alluding more to a general trend nowadays where sex is represented to be a one dimensional physical act where to goal is to get to your happy ending as quickly as possible rather than "you're all doing it wrong!". There is definitely a case to say that is true be that because of the "commoditisation" of sex through porn, hypersexuality to sell a desired "lifestyle" or whatever.

    Getting people (and men especially) to think about how intimacy, valuing the actual experience as well as the end game or mental aspects of sex may improve their sex lives rather than just getting something hard in a hole is a good thing in my opinion.

    I don't think this is anything new. I mean the phrase "wham bam thank you ma'am" isn't a new expression, is it? And "lie back and think of England" is even older.

    True enough except these attitudes seem more prevalent nowadays than ever before, albeit couched in a different way (porn reflects the way sex "should" be conducted.)
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,470 Member
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    I don't think this is anything new. I mean the phrase "wham bam thank you ma'am" isn't a new expression, is it? And "lie back and think of England" is even older.

    Good point!
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
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    Now I'm repissed at the guy who got his and didn't help me get mine.
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,470 Member
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    Now I'm repissed at the guy who got his and didn't help me get mine.

    Don't allow that crap to happen! Always... always finish first! :laugh:
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
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    Now I'm repissed at the guy who got his and didn't help me get mine.

    Don't allow that crap to happen!

    You're right, I think I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind via Facebook 4 years later haha.

    ETA: I usually finish a couple times before the guy does, but he was quick lol.
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,041 Member
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    Glad to know i'm doing it right
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Here for lessons
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,470 Member
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    Here for lessons

    :laugh:
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    t I think it's a lil absurd to say an entire generation is doing it wrong.

    I think the article was alluding more to a general trend nowadays where sex is represented to be a one dimensional physical act where to goal is to get to your happy ending as quickly as possible rather than "you're all doing it wrong!". There is definitely a case to say that is true be that because of the "commoditisation" of sex through porn, hypersexuality to sell a desired "lifestyle" or whatever.

    Getting people (and men especially) to think about how intimacy, valuing the actual experience as well as the end game or mental aspects of sex may improve their sex lives rather than just getting something hard in a hole is a good thing in my opinion.

    I don't think this is anything new. I mean the phrase "wham bam thank you ma'am" isn't a new expression, is it? And "lie back and think of England" is even older.

    True enough except these attitudes seem more prevalent nowadays than ever before, albeit couched in a different way (porn reflects the way sex "should" be conducted.)

    the only difference now is that people talk about it more. Attitudes towards sexuality 100 years ago in western culture were really awful. Women who enjoyed sex were considered *kitten*.... "refined" women were not supposed to enjoy it, hence "lie back and think of England"

    I mean most people nowadays accept that women can and should enjoy sex. Quite a few people are starting to be comfortable with the idea of women seeking out sex. Yes there's a long way to go yet, and opinions like this are useful, but it's by far not a new phenomenon. It's a very old one that is now out in the open and being challenged, and that's an important part of the process in changing old, bad attitudes for better ones.
  • Devlyn_P
    Devlyn_P Posts: 294 Member
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    Terrible generalizing article.

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