Making Whoopee: You're doing it wrong....

Best read I've had in quite some time.

You do know that I didn't write the article, right?? Besides, it's more geared to guys doing it wrong than girls (which is probably an accurate statement)

What? You didn't write that? Oh my god! I had no idea!


Okay, in all seriousness. I agree that it probably is geared more towards guys than girls, and I would also agree that it is probably an accurate statement :laugh: I was just commenting that not all of us Gen Yers are bad in bed/lovemaking.

I wonder if it's something that usually comes with time too? I've never been with a much, much older guy than me before so I can't say if it's a skill that they learn with time. But good lovemaking is definitely a skill..

Can't offend the MFP filters by using the actual word "sex" :huh:

Anyway....

I'll just leave this here....

http://elitedaily.com/dating/why-this-generation-has-no-idea-how-to-actually-have/628648/

This sentence:

"The purpose of sex, historically speaking, has always been reproduction. Over time, we realized that while we enjoyed the pleasure that we experience during sex, we don’t so much enjoy the experience that comes nine months later."

...couldn't be wronger.... sex for bonding goes back millions of years. Long before humans actually learned the whole "sex makes babies" thing LONG before that. Humans, bonobos (our closest relative) and dolphins do sex for bonding. I'm pretty sure that bonobos and dolphins haven't made the connection between sex and reproduction. And sex for pleasure dates back to when our nervous systems first evolved... the reptilian brain (i.e. the structures in the human brain that are in common with reptiles and date back the furthest in terms of evolution) control the very basic urges - sex, hunger, fear, pain. Sex and eating have to be pleasurable to make the animal do it. Fear and pain have to be unpleasant enough to make the animal avoid things that cause it. These are extremely primitive traits....... sex for bonding has evolved in some large brained social animals because it's pleasurable and bonds two individuals or a group of individuals and aids co-operation within the group, and increases the evolutionary success of the group.

Not saying the rest of the article isn't good though, really, it makes some good points.... just want to correct their view of the evolution of sex.

I would just like to say.....I've got this.

t I think it's a lil absurd to say an entire generation is doing it wrong.

I think the article was alluding more to a general trend nowadays where sex is represented to be a one dimensional physical act where to goal is to get to your happy ending as quickly as possible rather than "you're all doing it wrong!". There is definitely a case to say that is true be that because of the "commoditisation" of sex through porn, hypersexuality to sell a desired "lifestyle" or whatever.

Getting people (and men especially) to think about how intimacy, valuing the actual experience as well as the end game or mental aspects of sex may improve their sex lives rather than just getting something hard in a hole is a good thing in my opinion.

I don't think this is anything new. I mean the phrase "wham bam thank you ma'am" isn't a new expression, is it? And "lie back and think of England" is even older.

True enough except these attitudes seem more prevalent nowadays than ever before, albeit couched in a different way (porn reflects the way sex "should" be conducted.)

Now I'm repissed at the guy who got his and didn't help me get mine.

Now I'm repissed at the guy who got his and didn't help me get mine.

Don't allow that crap to happen!

You're right, I think I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind via Facebook 4 years later haha.

ETA: I usually finish a couple times before the guy does, but he was quick lol.

Here for lessons

t I think it's a lil absurd to say an entire generation is doing it wrong.

I think the article was alluding more to a general trend nowadays where sex is represented to be a one dimensional physical act where to goal is to get to your happy ending as quickly as possible rather than "you're all doing it wrong!". There is definitely a case to say that is true be that because of the "commoditisation" of sex through porn, hypersexuality to sell a desired "lifestyle" or whatever.

Getting people (and men especially) to think about how intimacy, valuing the actual experience as well as the end game or mental aspects of sex may improve their sex lives rather than just getting something hard in a hole is a good thing in my opinion.

I don't think this is anything new. I mean the phrase "wham bam thank you ma'am" isn't a new expression, is it? And "lie back and think of England" is even older.

True enough except these attitudes seem more prevalent nowadays than ever before, albeit couched in a different way (porn reflects the way sex "should" be conducted.)

the only difference now is that people talk about it more. Attitudes towards sexuality 100 years ago in western culture were really awful. Women who enjoyed sex were considered *kitten*.... "refined" women were not supposed to enjoy it, hence "lie back and think of England"

I mean most people nowadays accept that women can and should enjoy sex. Quite a few people are starting to be comfortable with the idea of women seeking out sex. Yes there's a long way to go yet, and opinions like this are useful, but it's by far not a new phenomenon. It's a very old one that is now out in the open and being challenged, and that's an important part of the process in changing old, bad attitudes for better ones.

I am of the Gen Y and that does not apply to me at all.. I agree with the article but I think it's a lil absurd to say an entire generation is doing it wrong. If you wanted to know about my night, I'd tell you all about the different ways, different places, and different types of "end goal" that I achieved with my husband. But at the same token, I grew up with parents who were very, very open about this topic... You know, the kind that leaves their battery-operated-boyfriend out and doesn't think anything of it.. The kind that has the "talk" with their kids by the time they are 5 years old. So I think that also plays a role. My husband grew up with a mother that made him leave the room if a steamy scene was on TV, even up until he was a teenager.. and I had to teach him how to be a real lover. It's definitely in how you view the act itself.. It also boils down to what women will accept. But you can't say that just because we're the younger generation that we are doing it wrong.. Cause trust me... I am not doing it wrong!

You are trying too hard. :flowerforyou: :laugh:

This reminded me of the movie Don Jon. I'm not going to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. I just skimmed the article for now, I'm supposed to be working.

t I think it's a lil absurd to say an entire generation is doing it wrong.

I think the article was alluding more to a general trend nowadays where sex is represented to be a one dimensional physical act where to goal is to get to your happy ending as quickly as possible rather than "you're all doing it wrong!". There is definitely a case to say that is true be that because of the "commoditisation" of sex through porn, hypersexuality to sell a desired "lifestyle" or whatever.

Getting people (and men especially) to think about how intimacy, valuing the actual experience as well as the end game or mental aspects of sex may improve their sex lives rather than just getting something hard in a hole is a good thing in my opinion.

I don't think this is anything new. I mean the phrase "wham bam thank you ma'am" isn't a new expression, is it? And "lie back and think of England" is even older.

True enough except these attitudes seem more prevalent nowadays than ever before, albeit couched in a different way (porn reflects the way sex "should" be conducted.)

It's the same with this as it is with anything else. Humans have always had these attitudes....It's just in the last 10-20 years with the proliferation of the internet, and now social media that these attitudes are being shared for everyone to see. It's an "is what it is" thing.

I'm pretty sure that bonobos and dolphins haven't made the connection between sex and reproduction.

Genetically the Bonobos have, they don't practice incest between siblings. Not sure about dolphins though.

It is incredibly important to me that my girlfriend is thoroughly satisfied, and that we try new ideas and locations when and where possible. I take great satisfaction in knowing I provide more pleasure than she's ever known and I feel sorry for any guy who isn't eager to give his best.