American Perceptions?
Matilda_Swan
Posts: 3,342 Member
So I have binged twice this month and it has made me reflect on things. First off I AM NOT blaming anyone or anything but myself and my free will for these binges, I am not looking for advice onhow to avoid a binge, I know how, my give a darn was just broken is all.
I noticed a trend around my binging. People lately have been telling me I am "too thin" and they can "see my bones" ( I was wearing a tank top and you could see collar bones).
I had a rutured brain anuerism in Nov 2013 so I see specialists and Drs quite frequently right now.
I asked my neurologist and my primary care dr if I was "too thin" (5'3'' 125 lbs) and they both said NO. They both explained to me that the rise of obesity in America is obscuring our perceptions of what a healthy fit weight looks like on people. People that are a healthy weight have collar bones.
So do fellow Americans agree with this theory? That obesity (just the term being overweight in general) is so rampant in America that normal weighted people may look "too thin" to us now?
And yes it hurt my feelings, and cycled me into a binge. After talking to other people, that wont happen again
Thoughts?
Butt hurters feel free to respond as well........
I noticed a trend around my binging. People lately have been telling me I am "too thin" and they can "see my bones" ( I was wearing a tank top and you could see collar bones).
I had a rutured brain anuerism in Nov 2013 so I see specialists and Drs quite frequently right now.
I asked my neurologist and my primary care dr if I was "too thin" (5'3'' 125 lbs) and they both said NO. They both explained to me that the rise of obesity in America is obscuring our perceptions of what a healthy fit weight looks like on people. People that are a healthy weight have collar bones.
So do fellow Americans agree with this theory? That obesity (just the term being overweight in general) is so rampant in America that normal weighted people may look "too thin" to us now?
And yes it hurt my feelings, and cycled me into a binge. After talking to other people, that wont happen again
Thoughts?
Butt hurters feel free to respond as well........
0
Replies
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I'm American, and most people I know are shocked that I want to lose another 20-something pounds. But you're so skinny! they say. Um, I weigh 187 and am quite a ways from a healthy BMI.
Also, American clothing sizes have changed dramatically. Recently I pulled out an old pair of my skinny jeans from 10 years ago. They said size 13/14. Well, I took of my brand new size 12 pants to try them on, and could barely get them past my knees!
:grumble:0 -
I understand your concern if people are telling you you are too thin, but if your doctors tell you you're healthy, then you are fine. I also have prominent collar bones and you can even see my upper ribs in certain positions when I'm raising my arms, etc., but I know my BF% and BMI are well within the healthy range. In fact I could stand to lose a few more pounds; hopefully that won't make the ribs/collarbone more prominent. You can't spot reduce, as you know... Anyway, you are doing great. Try not to listen to jealous people who say you are too thin. Your doctors are the authorities in this realm.0
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I agree. As far as collar bones....I always thought it was completely normal for them to be visible. I've always been at a healthy weight, though.0
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Hang around fitness models and body builders, 15%-20% body fat would be considered overweight. Hang around obese people, 25% would be considered fit.
Like most perceptions, it's usually going to be how you view things personally.
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I agree. 5'3" and 125 too thin? I think not! That's right on target, if you ask me.
Yeah, Americans are so used to seeing lardbottoms (my own fat *kitten* included) that it's become commonplace if not "normal."
Remember 4 Non-Blondes? Their album was called Bigger, Better, Faster, More. When I first saw that album cover I said to myself "Yep, that's America all right."
I'm not going to say anymore becasue then it will turn into a rant. But, I hope your aneurysm issue is better.0 -
Hun, I am 185.6 lbs and even at 250 you could see my collar bones!! Do yourself a favour and don't let anyone else tell you how to look, feel, or be!0
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Yes, I would say a lot of people don't understand what is overweight. I could lose 40 pounds now and still be at a healthy weight, but I imagine if I told people I wanted to lose 40 pounds (which I don't) they would say it was crazy.
On the other hand you have people who are obsessed with thigh gaps, bikini bridges, size 0, etc. It's a very strange dichotomy we have in the US.0 -
I don't know. I'm not sure it is an American thing. If you look back in the 20-50's, curviness was desired. And even further back being overweight meant you were better off since you were getting more food. I do believe we humans are coded to desire plumpness. I think it is only recently that being thin has become the ideal.
Personally, I find bones that stick out to not be attractive (I also don't find overly-muscular women attractive - Just my opinion, not hating on anyone). But I fully understand that some people's anatomy dictates how and when bones are visible despite the BF% or how healthy the individual is. Heck I may find out my collar bones stick out once I get close to my GW.
This reminds me of something Ellie said in The Last of Us:
Ellie: That girl is so skinny... I thought you had plenty of food in your time.
Joel: We did. Some just chose not to eat it.
Ellie: Why the hell not?
Joel: For looks.
Ellie: Pffft, that's stupid.
lol...0 -
I do think that the way people view what a "normal" weight is, is quite different now because there are so many overweight/obese people, way more then when I was a kid. I am tyring hard to lose the weight and yes I slide every now and again but I know it won't kill me and I just have to do better, which I am working on.
As for the clothes yep they have changed the way that they make them as well and it varies from company to company and you don't know waht is true anymore.
As long as your doctors aren't concerned with your weight and you are comfortable with it then don't worry about anyone else.0 -
I absolutely agree. I'm around 150 right now and I have people telling me that I'm getting too skinny, my bones are sticking out (sorry I don't store weight in my abdomen and you could already see my ribs at 170?), and asking me if I'm eating enough. I am still about 10-15lbs overweight! I have very few people in my life at work, school, through friends and family who are actually a healthy weight. I am incredibly active at work and I eat a LOT of food while still losing weight steadily. People at school see me snacking all the time, often on higher calorie aliments, and they see that I'm losing weight and they're convince I'm bulimic. Then they feel that they have the right to question me about my eating habits. It's cool that they care and all, but if anybody had the slightest idea of what "healthy" looked like, they'd leave me alone.0
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Yes. In addidition (I am assuming at this point you have lost weight previously, apologies if I am wrong) I think it is more likely for someone to be though of as "too skinny" after a weight loss journey. When you look fit/thin/ whatever you want to call it your entire life people are used to it. The first time they see you that is what they see and their brain accepts it. When you go through a change people have to adjust to that. They were used to seeing you bigger and now you are smaller. Someone who does not know you would see you and just accept you but someone influenced by historical images of you might be impacted differently.0
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I've always assumed body shape, bones structure etc is largely genetic. There will be some people who have prominent collar/hip bones when they are overweight, and others won't. Judging your weight, let alone your health by one set of bones seems silly.
I do agree that I, like most Americans (and Brits and other nationalities too - don't forget obesity is rising in China!), have lost my sense of what's "normal" or healthy, but for me that's meant that I just don't judge people as much on appearance as I used to (and even then, I never really did). I don't know what's normal for others, so I just wouldn't comment, and I focus more on the person than what size they are or how they look.
Now, the whole dress size thing is another issue, and incredibly frustrating. I'm petite so I basically have to order EVERYTHING online, which means that I'm guessing big-time when I place my order. Sizes seem totally random, and it seems stores have tried to accommodate the need to make size 8-12 bigger by adding more zeros at the other end of the scale - size 00? WTF is that?0 -
I think we do have a misperception about what is healthy. I was talking to someone once and I referred to myself as fat. At my height and weight, I'm morbidly obese. He protested, saying I wasn't THAT big, and held his hands out to indicate what he thought was fat (huge) and then mentioned people at Disneyworld as his reference point for what fat looks like. Apparently a lot of very very obese people go to Disneyworld? It was odd. But anyway, yes, I think we have a skewed perception.0
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people dont understand how saying your "too thin" is just as hurtful to me when they told me i was fat!
I want to say STFU and worry about YOU
This is actually why I haven't told my family in the UK that I've lost weight since it will basically give them an excuse to nag me about not losing too much (after years of nagging me to lose it).0 -
I personally like the look of my collar and shoulder blades, my back muscles are gorgeous, my arms are lean and well muscled,
my legs are firm and strong with muscle.
It sounds like you have a pretty posative self image, keep embracing that. Everyone has an opinion (ugh!) so sometimes you just gotta ignore them.0 -
Sounds about right! 0
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I am obese according to my BMI but people tell me I look just fine when I tell them I'm trying to lose weight. No I don't!0
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My twin sister told me that If I lost any more weight I was going to look like a crackhead. To her if you weigh under 180 that is considered eating disorder territory.:ohwell:0
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Hang around fitness models and body builders, 15%-20% body fat would be considered overweight. Hang around obese people, 25% would be considered fit.
Like most perceptions, it's usually going to be how you view things personally.
What Niner said is exactly what I've experienced.
My morbidly obese relatives accused me of being ana/bul at 5'7" and 145lbs because I was clearly too thin and "wasting away!" Mind you, grandma's weight took out both of her knees and she needs a scooter to get around. Every single member of that side of the family is a diabetic.
On the other side of the family, they're all tall and lean. I have a relative who is 5'9, 120 lbs and is CONSTANTLY complaining about how "fat" she is. Every week, it's a different challenge or cleanse. I must look like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man to her at my current weight of 165.
Also, doctors are going to give their opinions based on their personal beliefs. My back-woods, family doctor says I'm fine. My Taiwanese allergist and my Indian doctor have both alluded to the fact that I'm fluffy.0 -
As a society we are slowly brainwashing everyone on what is healthy and what is obese. My 13 yo daughter goes to school and her classmates pick on her because they say she's too thin and needs to eat. She's 5'3" and weighs 135. She's muscular and extremely active. My 10 yo daughter thinks she needs to starve to be thin. On Mother's day the whole family was playing basketball and my daughter points to her older sister and say "hungry" then rubs her belly and says "happy". I'm 5'6" and weigh 125 and I looked her in the eyes and said "that's not true I eat more than your stepfather on most days. You don't ever have to be hungry to be thin and I'm proof of that. To be thin all you have to do is be active." She tried to say it again being funny and yet again I corrected her. Even as young as 10 has messed up views on what is healthy and I'm always talking to my girls about obesity and being healthy. It's society as a whole now not just older people.0
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Fat people will want, everyone to be fat, so they feel good. You are hot and you look perfectly normal to me.0
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I think Americans have a horrible perception of healthy and what a normal weight is. Your height and weight are right in the normal ranges.0
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I definately agree! I'm 5'3" and my goal weight is 130 (I have a larger frame and good muscle structure for a shorter person so I allow 5-10 extra lbs LOL. At 130-135 I could maintain it without starving and felt great). I currently weigh 154 and am definately overweight. People at work (who are overweight or obese) have told ME that I'm skinny, where will the weight come from? Seriously? I don't think they are just trying to be nice either. I suppose next to many Americans I'm in good shape but I am still not where I need to be.0
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I totally agree with that! I've been losing weight steadily and starting around 135lbs at 5'8" I was being told by friends, people at church, family, ect. that I was looking frail/too thin and shouldn't lose anymore lol. Our perceptions here are so skewed. I'm 129 now and I still look very large in certain areas! Americas obesity problem has definitely made our views of what is normal change.0
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I say put on some muscle and then let someone tell you that you are too small. Then you could kick their *kitten* and prove that little is the new big!0
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Butt hurters feel free to respond as well........
Lol, cause you know they will.0 -
So I have binged twice this month and it has made me reflect on things. First off I AM NOT blaming anyone or anything but myself and my free will for these binges, I am not looking for advice onhow to avoid a binge, I know how, my give a darn was just broken is all.
I noticed a trend around my binging. People lately have been telling me I am "too thin" and they can "see my bones" ( I was wearing a tank top and you could see collar bones).
I had a rutured brain anuerism in Nov 2013 so I see specialists and Drs quite frequently right now.
I asked my neurologist and my primary care dr if I was "too thin" (5'3'' 125 lbs) and they both said NO. They both explained to me that the rise of obesity in America is obscuring our perceptions of what a healthy fit weight looks like on people. People that are a healthy weight have collar bones.
So do fellow Americans agree with this theory? That obesity (just the term being overweight in general) is so rampant in America that normal weighted people may look "too thin" to us now?
And yes it hurt my feelings, and cycled me into a binge. After talking to other people, that wont happen again
Thoughts?
Butt hurters feel free to respond as well........
I absolutely agree with this, and have seen it time and time again. When I was over 250lbs people would say to me variations of "but you're not fat/overweight." Collectively our perception of "healthy" weight is very skewed where morbidly obese is simply obese, and obese is just overweight.
It can be very frustration, but I've learned to stick with my plan and let others worry about themselves.0
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