I have a skinny boyfriend

143Meowww
143Meowww Posts: 9 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I am 216 pounds at 5'6". My amazing other half is 145 pounds at 5'5".
Sometimes I feel myself being completely uncomfortable with this.
I love my boyfriend more than ANYTHING. He has always been there to support me and will love me no matter what size I am at.
I was just wondering if anyone else has this issue... and do you have a problem with it.
I know all of this is probably just in my head but I feel huge next to him and I find myself being totally self conscious of this in public..... HELP!
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Replies

  • paymentm
    paymentm Posts: 105 Member
    I am 5"6' 180 pounds now and my boyfriend is 6"2' 145 pounds so yes I know the feeling! He doesn't care how much I weigh but due to gender roles I am always feeling inadequate. Also my goal weight will still be 10lbs heavier than him so I'll never win. However, being that skinny has many health risks too, my boyfriends lung collapsed for no reason besides being too skinny and lacking muscles.
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
    If he loves you no matter what size you are, he's a keeper.
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  • StunningLegerity
    StunningLegerity Posts: 193 Member
    My boyfriend wishes he was 145 lbs. I am 5'6 and currently 154 lbs (started at 196 lbs) and he is 6' 125 lbs (started at 115 lbs). We don't care though, we both love each other and find the other incredibly attractive :D
  • bellevie86
    bellevie86 Posts: 301 Member
    My boyfriends always used to be skinnier than I. The one I have now is only 15 pounds heavier.....and really really bad at guessing weight. I take solace in that lol
  • vvvalentines
    vvvalentines Posts: 151
    I've got a huge weight gap between me and my fiance. I'm about 270 and 5'4", he's only about 160 and 6'0". I joke that my weight loss goal is to "lose one fiance," because his average weight is also roughly the amount that I want to lose from my high weight.

    There are definitely times when I feel insecure about how much I weigh, and our weight difference, but it's more an issue of how we look in public (which I know is a dumb thing to worry about, but anyway) than how he feels about me. I weighed 40 lbs more when we met than I do now, and he didn't have a problem with my body then and he doesn't now. It helps me a lot that he is vocal about complimenting me and very clearly is attracted to me not "in spite of" my weight, but irrespective of it.
  • lemur933
    lemur933 Posts: 20 Member
    I'm 191.8 (as of last weigh in) and 5'6 my boyfriend is 134 and 5'8 or 5'9 or so. Yes, I feel this way sometimes, but I love him and he loves me and I push it aside. I know I will never be as skinny as him, as my body isn't really built like his, and I'm okay with that. As long as I'm healthy. He can eat anything he wants and not gain a pound, though some day that may catch up with him, who knows?
  • mehrunisan
    mehrunisan Posts: 64 Member
    my boyfriend is 6'2 and 165. looks super skinny. lost 22 pounds since we've been together
  • Archon2
    Archon2 Posts: 462 Member
    I am 5"6' 180 pounds now and my boyfriend is 6"2' 145 pounds so yes I know the feeling! He doesn't care how much I weigh but due to gender roles I am always feeling inadequate. Also my goal weight will still be 10lbs heavier than him so I'll never win. However, being that skinny has many health risks too, my boyfriends lung collapsed for no reason besides being too skinny and lacking muscles.

    6'2" and 145lbs? You gotta make him a few sandwiches! :)
  • joanthemom8
    joanthemom8 Posts: 375 Member
    I have been married for 24.5 years. My husband and I, in our bare feet, are the same height. For many years, he weighed less than I did (10-20 lbs), not much. But it always bothered me. His family would call him "Flaco" ("skinny" in Spanish - I wonder what they called me in their heads). But, age is the great equalizer - he's gained weight and I've lost a wee - bit, so now he does weigh about 20 lbs more than me. But he's not super healthy - he's gained it all in his tummy and doesn't exercise much. So, I would have to say, that, for health reasons, I'd rather he be "Flaco" again, even if it meant I was "bigger" than him.
  • angeliis02
    angeliis02 Posts: 103 Member
    I'm 5'10 255, my husband is 6' 165. It's not that big of a deal for us, he doesn't seem to mind. I don't worry about it as much as I did when we first started dating. I used to be scared to sit on his lap, afraid I'd smoosh him. Not so much anymore. When I learned he wasn't as fragile I as I thought he was and when I gained a ton of self confidence somehow it stopped bothering me as much.
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 468 Member
    I am 5'4", started at 210, CW 190, and working to get to 140-I know it will take time, my fiance is 5'8" and 155-160 depending on the day, so I know the feeling, I would like to just weigh less than him and I know in time with perserverance I will, and so will you, just keep up what you are doing!
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
    Just work on improving yourself and be glad he doesn't care about the size difference. Stop worrying about it because if it continues to bother you a lot, it will eventually start to bother him, if only because you are so preoccupied with it.
  • NinjaUnicornPirate
    NinjaUnicornPirate Posts: 43 Member
    I am 5"6' 180 pounds now and my boyfriend is 6"2' 145 pounds so yes I know the feeling! He doesn't care how much I weigh but due to gender roles I am always feeling inadequate. Also my goal weight will still be 10lbs heavier than him so I'll never win. However, being that skinny has many health risks too, my boyfriends lung collapsed for no reason besides being too skinny and lacking muscles.

    6'2" and 145lbs? You gotta make him a few sandwiches! :)

    Those were my same stats till I hit 25 or so. Then BAM!!! Hit me like a truck full of twinkies...
  • HJoy91
    HJoy91 Posts: 6 Member
    Well, I kind of know the feeling. My boyfriend's a personal trainer. He's not skinnier than me, but obviously we are on way different ends of the physical fitness spectrum. It's my motivation to be healthy and happy, and feel confident when I'm with him and his co-workers. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about the weight difference if you truly care about each other.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    Me, I don't mind a guy shorter than me. But, I like us to be at least somewhat equal. I don't like being taller AND fatter. But that's me, a single person who is always single.

    I wonder why
    thinking-gif.gif
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    My husband weighed less than me when we got married (In spite of being 6-7 inches taller than me) Never bugged me because that's the man I married and wanted to be with. Didn't bug him because I was the woman he married and wanted to be with.

    See what I'm saying here?

    No?

    Well.

    Get your mind right. If it was a problem he would have left already, so relax before he gets it in his mind that maybe he should leave.
  • kids183
    kids183 Posts: 204 Member
    I have it totally opposite. When I re-started back on MFP in January, I was 215 pounds (I'm 5' 4"). My boyfriend is 6' 3" and 350 pounds.

    Neither one of us is shallow in any way. I believe that's the way it should be!

    He's been very supportive of my weightloss journey, but in no way does he make me feel like I NEED to lose any weight.

    :smile:
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    I couldnt date a guy skinnier than me :(

    geuss I am shallow

    Is it shallow or your preference in men? We all have a preference of what is attractive to our eyes.
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    My husband weighed less than me when we got married (In spite of being 6-7 inches taller than me) Never bugged me because that's the man I married and wanted to be with. Didn't bug him because I was the woman he married and wanted to be with.

    See what I'm saying here?

    No?

    Well.

    Get your mind right. If it was a problem he would have left already, so relax before he gets it in his mind that maybe he should leave.



    Yeah. That right there.
  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
    My husband was 6' and 130lbs when I met him. We are talking skinny. I am 5'2" and was 138 when we met. I have always been a little chunky and went up with age (we are married 20 years). Honestly I remember getting really upset that I weighed more than him one time. I lost weight then it snuck back on. At this point, i have given up. He is 6' tall, totally out of shape, but weighs 180 or so. I am 5'2" and been fluctuating between 170 and 180. I want to get down to at least 150, but we shall see.

    The hardest part being married to a skinny guy, they have no clue what it is like to struggle with food. He could eat anything he wanted and no problem, but he also doesn't enjoy eating. Like he can buy a box of chocolate and forget about it. He doesn't understand that food calls my name from the kitchen. Also can't comprehend that a sausage has more calories than a plate of veggies because the sausage is smaller. It has been a struggle on that side, otherwise weight has never been an issue.
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  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I am 5'3, 150-155 pounds usually - sometimes up to 160, my husband is 5'9 162 pounds soaking wet.

    We manage just fine.
  • WonderWhitney11
    WonderWhitney11 Posts: 78 Member
    Oh man... when my husband and I started dating, he was 5'8" and weighed 117- we were in high school. I was 5' and about 160... and only ballooned up to 200 when I got comfortable with him (it helped knowing that he preferred a little meat on a girl's bones).

    It was weird at first... after all... how would we ever play a good game of teeter-totter on the playground? But that was the only thing that didn't work between us! We fell in love, got married... and honestly, he gained a lot of weight later on too! We were both in the 205 range at one point, and now we're both back down around 175/180.

    The only thing that matters is if you find him attractive and he finds you attractive... who cares what it looks like from an outsider's perspective!
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
    I think if y'all love each other, it shouldn't really matter.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    145 at 5'5" is not skinny, according to BMI he is near the top end of "healthy" weight for his height. I know guys 6'1" that weigh that much, I consider that skinny. In my profile pic I am 5'6" 140lbs, and not skinny, low bodyfat yes, skinny no.

    That said if he is with you, he wants to be there. Lose weight for you, not for him.
  • jessspurr
    jessspurr Posts: 258 Member
    I weighed more than my husband (6'4" 220) for a long time. Now, he's got about 30 pounds on me which I have to say, does make me feel awesome. Stupid societal expectations. Oh well.
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,731 Member
    My boyfriend is extremely fit and has a naturally slim frame with lots of muscle, especially through the shoulders. I am extremely not fit, although I'm getting there. I still weigh less than him, but not by that much, and I'm convinced that even if that weren't the case, it wouldn't bother either of us. He thinks I'm the sexiest woman on the planet no matter how much my thighs jiggle, and I think he's the sexiest man on the planet whether he ever bulks those biceps or not.
  • starrylioness
    starrylioness Posts: 543 Member
    If he loves you no matter what size you are, he's a keeper.

    This!

    I'm 5'10 and currently 226 lbs and at my heaviest I was 320 lbs. My husband (who is 5'8 and 145 lbs or so) loved me then and still loves me now and will love me when I'm thin too. For us, the physical doesn't matter.

    Sounds like you have a good man to me.
  • sculli123
    sculli123 Posts: 1,221 Member
    145 at 5'5" is not skinny, according to BMI he is near the top end of "healthy" weight for his height. I know guys 6'1" that weigh that much, I consider that skinny. In my profile pic I am 5'6" 140lbs, and not skinny, low bodyfat yes, skinny no.

    That said if he is with you, he wants to be there. Lose weight for you, not for him.
    You're right but I think she means relative to her size.

    OP, if you were this size when you first met then you should have nothing to worry about. He's into that obviously. If you suddently gained weight and now he's acting weird, then worry. Or if you did but everything has been going along fine and he's not acting different, then don't worry about it. Anyway, if you want to lose weight for YOU then do it. But do it for yourself, not someone else. If he loves you he'll love you regardless.

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