He said what?!

liz77095
liz77095 Posts: 27 Member
in Motivation and Support
Today is the month mark of me doing MFP. I have been weighing and tracking everything and I have started working out a few times a week. I weighed in today and have not lost anything this week. For the whole month I have lost 2.5 pounds even though I set it to sedentry and 2 pounds a week. I have only been eating back half of my exercise calories. So needless to say I was disappointed.

I went out to talk to my husband about it and he said "well if it's not working I guess you need to do more". I was so mad! I explained how MFP is supposed to work with net calories etc. He said well you are only doing that Jillian Michaels workout. (Ok for me that workout if tough!) Then he suggested I start taking more walks during the day. We just moved to Houston. It is hot and humid! I have a 1 year old I take along too.

Anyhow I don't know what to do to make this more of a success. I was really hoping to love 2 pounds per week or at least 1.5. I am mad and hurt that he just doesnt get it. I am starting to feel like this is all not worth it. I cut back my calories without MFP the month of April and I lost 5 pounds then. So for over 2 months I have lost only 7 pounds. I m down 40 pounds of my prepregnancy weight but now that I am really working on it ...nothing! I know things dont happen over night but I feel like I am failing the harder I try.
«1

Replies

  • JodiDavidson48
    JodiDavidson48 Posts: 1
    It actually sounds like you're doing well overall. Sometimes the body retains fluid which would result in a week of what looks like a "stall". My take - keep doing what you're doing and have compassion for the journey. I just signed up today with my daughter - hope this helps me to move forward. I'm an avid exerciser (thank goodness) or I would be much larger, and I'm trying to move away from some long term emotional eating issues - the classic "yoyo" syndrome. Best wishes.
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    First, a new workout plan can cause water retention as your body adjusts to the new stresses and that can slow initial weight loss. Second, getting out and moving around is rarely a bad idea. It's hot ... it's humid ... a kid ... really those are all excuses.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    You're either eating too much or overestimating your exercise calories, or both.

    Make sure to log your food accurately... you don't seem to weigh your food, so you're probably way underestimating what you're eating. Too many quick added calories and some dubious entries (where are those 45 calorie tortillas you used on June 8th?).

    ETA - it's normal not to lose every week, and I hear you on the humidity being a pain, but I wouldn't do anything in Summer if I let that stop me... I just have to take a shower after. And yes it's a pain with kids, so I joined a gym so they can stay in the babysitting area while I work out.
  • LessIsMoreCB
    LessIsMoreCB Posts: 16 Member
    One thing I've learned, a positive attitude will be your rock when the scale won't budge! That will happen from time to time, don't give up! It has to mean more to you than a number. Think about how much better you will feel. Chasing after that one year old when you fuel your body with good healthy food and keep it strong with good healthy exercise. It's worth every drop of sweat! You can do this momma! Read up on staying hydrated and food protein to carb ratios. I live in Texas too and the heat will suck the life right out of you! Rooting for you! :)
  • canadjineh
    canadjineh Posts: 5,396 Member
    If it's too hot & humid, take the baby & the stroller to the mega mall (It's Houston - I know there's at least 1 mega-mall) and put on a pedometer and briskly walk the mall. Do not stop for a starbucks Grande Latte with Whipped Crème, or to pick up some cheap T-shirt at Walmart. JUST WALK in air conditioned comfort.
  • merisaOct3
    merisaOct3 Posts: 197 Member
    Jillian Michaels workouts are tough! Good for you for keeping up with it.

    IMO, and I didn't look at your diary, but pay attention to not just how much but also WHAT you're eating. Upping natural lean protein, cutting back on sugar and carb calories, and focusing on lots of veggies may help break you through your stall.

    Culturally, men (and a lot of women) think they need to offer advice when all we are trying to do is vent and get a little sympathy. Maybe mention to him that sometimes you don't need a "fix" of the problem, just a little emotional support through it.

    Congrats on your successes! Take measurements and see how your clothes are fitting - you may be surprised at seeing success in ways other than on the scale.
  • bkthandler
    bkthandler Posts: 247 Member
    Maybe go to the library and get some different workout videos to try. I do a lot of them and don't like Jillian Michaels DVDs. Maybe start with a walking DVD or lower impact like Zumba.and work your way up to the JM DVD.

    Also walking at the mall was a great idea.
  • knra_grl
    knra_grl Posts: 1,566 Member
    A month isn't really that long for your body to adjust to changes. You did change something partway through as I noticed your calorie goal dropped. Some of your burns seem a little high but again those are estimates. Find a balance somewhere and stick with it. You didn't gain the weight overnight, so be patient and let it happen.

    Weigh and measure your foods accurately - if you don't have a scale yet buy one.

    Jillian workouts are tough so cudo's for sticking with it. Again be patient and maybe invite your husband to try Jillian's workout so he can see how hard you are working.

    This is your journey so don't let his opinions sway the progress you have already made.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    Theres no need to be mad- youre doing well, and your husband is trying to be helpful.
  • pensierobello
    pensierobello Posts: 285 Member
    he's trying to help you. don't get righteously offended, his suggestions are good!
  • TIUClare
    TIUClare Posts: 62 Member
    The human body is a pretty complex machine. You've got a child - you know what I mean! The body can be stubborn too, one week of staying the same should not be enough to shake your commitment.
    1. Are you drinking enough water? Half your body weight in pounds.... and drink that number in ounces. Every day.
    2. Keeping moving throughout the day is essential to keep your metabolism ramped up (I have PCOS and my metabolism is so slow... it is the bane of my existence, but it doesn't have to always be slow)
    3. Muscle weighs heavier than fat - have you taken your measurements? The scale might not have moved but you might have gained muscle / lost inches - check this too
    4. The body could be playing catch up with itself. Make sure that your nutrition is bang on target and keep working out - the body will eventually catch up.

    These are all things I have to keep telling myself. Make sure you're having enough protein, carbs, fibre, healthy fats etc. Take your measurements and some progress pics and take your little one out with you and build in more exercise throughout the day. One thing I'm learning: we only have one body in this lifetime and even though sweating it out for an hour a day can be tough, I'd rather do that to keep living in this world :)

    Good luck on your journey. You can do this! Believe in yourself and go out and make your dreams a reality!
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,469 Member
    When I first started, I lost only like 2 lbs in two months due to water retention. Then, suddenly I was down 10 lbs. Keep going and DON'T give up. It will come off, just takes some time to see it on the scale.
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,469 Member
    he's trying to help you. don't get righteously offended, his suggestions are good!
    Agreed!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    It sounds like your husband is TRYING to be helpful, but really isn't and/or cannot truly relate to the issues you are having. I'd just keep it on the down low, to be honest, because the LAST thing you need is discouraging words.

    As for not losing 2 lb per week...I know this whole thing (counting calories) doesn't work the same for everyone. I'm not trying to tell you how to feel. But for me, I had to have the mindset of "I expect to weigh less in 30 days or 1 year than I do right now" without imagining it would be exactly 1.5 lb each week (my settings until I got closer to goal and reset to 1 lb per week). EXPECTING to be down 8-10 lb each month is a recipe for failure and/or giving up, for a lot of people!
    Track, weigh, measure, whatever it takes. Exercise is great, too...but you also need to give your body a chance to adjust to the way you are eating which may be less calories than in the past - even more adjustment for the body if you haven't been doing the Jillian Michaels workout (or other exercise) long-term and that is newer to your body as well. It's not an instant thing for some people. It takes a little time to level off and start seeing losses, for some people there is initial success and then a slow period and for others it starts off rapid and then slows.

    Most of all, be patient. If you are truly eating at a deficit long term then you will be several pounds lighter in a few months. Would you rather lose 30 lb in 2-3 months or over a year period? My way of thinking is that I could go hardcore, burn out, and weigh the same in a year, or keep at this steadily and be down several pounds. I prefer the latter.

    Seriously, I don't mean to sound like a know it all, but I started using this site 15 months ago wearing a size 22 and weighing 262 lb. My first goal was to weigh 220 lb and hopefully wear an 18 by the end of the first year...met that easily even with losses of less than a pound some weeks. Now I weigh 179 lb (losses still going slow but strong, too) and wear a 12 in most things. It's totally worth it to improve your health, nutrition, and fitness...and there is no bonus prize for getting to your goal in x number of months.
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    My two cents on Father's Day weekend. Your weight loss is awesome. The fact you are working out is great and adding light cardio like walking maybe 2 x's a week for a total of 30 minutes is a good addition. Slowly try to incorporate more walking every two weeks. Continue to weigh your food, use your diary, seek support, and continue onward.

    When you hit a plateau it is par for the course(golf speak which means 'good') and continue onward. Congratulations on the one year old, the weight loss, and your desire to stay fit and healthy. Peace.
  • liz77095
    liz77095 Posts: 27 Member
    Thanks for all of the kind words and tips. He really is trying to help but truly cannot relate. I have been weighing on my scale at home and am trying to work up to 5 workouts per week. I had not really thought about water retention from new exercise so maybe that is part of it too. Looks like I should keep things on the down low so I don't get upset so easily. It sure was a lot more fun gaining weight than taking it off. ;)

    Here is hoping my patience with this journey grows!
  • tracydr
    tracydr Posts: 528 Member
    First, a new workout plan can cause water retention as your body adjusts to the new stresses and that can slow initial weight loss. Second, getting out and moving around is rarely a bad idea. It's hot ... it's humid ... a kid ... really those are all excuses.
    Have you ever exercised outside in Houston n June? It's like 100% humidity and 100 degrees or more.
    When I would do military training in San Antonio ( which is much dryer) they would make days over 90, or over 100 degrees on the heat index, red flag days. No outdoor exercise, marching or other activity could be performed in that weather due to increased risk of serious heat injury.
    I've had heat exhaustion a number of times and you don't want to go there. The last time it happened I almost ended in the hospital, with an irregular heart beat around 180 bpm. That was just standing around in 116 degree heat, under a metal, open sided shed that was holding in the heat.
  • ownedbyaragdoll
    ownedbyaragdoll Posts: 2 Member
    I know people hate hearing this, but perhaps you're eating too little? To use myself as an example: I started WW Feb 2013, lost 45lbs by Aug 2013. Maintained for about 6 months, then started to gain even though I was still 100% on track (eating well and exercising). No changes other than I had steadily increased my exercise. Continued to gain with no clue as to why, lost motivation, ended up gaining about 10lbs. Came back to MFP recently (I created an account ages ago but never used it) and started to track both here and on WW. I was also eating about 1200 calories and not eating back my exercise calories. Learned more about BMR & TDEE from the forums and ran my numbers - my BMR is 1414 before any exercise/activity so I'm already in the negative calories eating only 1200. When I added increased exercise into the mix it was no wonder my body started holding onto everything! I've increased my food intake and 4-5lbs have come off this week alone (yes, some of that was water retention from TOM).

    So, moral of the story is take a look at your numbers and how many calories your body needs to function. You may just need to fuel it more! :)

    Also, I don't know how much you have to loose but 2lbs per week is ambitious (as I have seen commented by many much more knowledgeable MFP folks). Perhaps drop to 1lb per week (thus increasing your calories) and see how you do.
  • jjplato
    jjplato Posts: 155 Member
    Your sodium is through the roof. Yesterday, you were 1200 calories over your goal. A few days before that, you were over 500 calories over goal. You are using "quick add calories", which is usually an indication that you're guessing rather than weighing. A few days ago, you estimated 700 calories burned for 45 minutes of exercise, which could be accurate, but you've got to be honest with yourself - that's a lot of calories to burn in that amount of time. I'm in very good cardio shape, and I log 45 minutes of taekwondo as 500 calories, and that's going flat-out, drenched in sweat, for almost the full time.

    Take this as constructive. You look good, and you've lost weight, so you should be encouraged. If you're not losing weight faster, it's because you are either underestimating food calories, over-estimating exercise calories, or both. If you want to pick up the pace, be brutally honest with yourself about what you're eating and how you're counting your exercise calories.
  • JenD1066
    JenD1066 Posts: 298 Member
    Well of course you can't walk outside! Walking in Houston this time of year is like walking through warm Jello! But there is always the mall- go early, before the stores open, so the shoppers don't get in your way!
  • mvlonergan
    mvlonergan Posts: 3 Member
    I hope you don't mind a guy responding to this. :-) First, don't lose your perspective. You said you wanted to lose two pounds per week, and you lost 7 pounds in two months. That's just under two pounds per week.

    Second, you set your activity level to sedentary but then you are being active. That puts a stress on your body because it's more of a caloric deficit than you need, and that in turn makes your body want to hold on to weight. That's on top of the stress of having a one year old. (I have two toddlers and I'm a very involved dad; young kids are HARD.)

    So be more forgiving of yourself. Base your calories off of a higher activity level but keep the 1-2 pound per week weight loss goal.

    Those two things yous said really resonated with me, because I did the same thing for years. I'd undereat because I wanted to lose more weight, or I didn't think I was really that active. Then I'd get frustrated with slow weight loss and go back to my bad habits. When I finally started being more realistic, the weight came off.

    Also remember your husband loves you. He sees you've set a goal for yourself and he's trying to help you reach that goal in the only way he knows how. I speak from experience here. You know that phrase, "When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail?" We men are like that sometimes. Just remember it comes from a good place.
  • justjumpit278
    justjumpit278 Posts: 96 Member
    I glanced through your diary - seeing lots of cake, cookies, ice cream, candy... That may very well be your culprit. It looks like you have a good breakfast and lunch then fall at the end of the day. Just because that piece of cake or those cookies fit in your calories for the day, doesn't necessarily mean you should eat it. Try replacing it with a Special K 90 cal snack bar or piece of fruit if you're craving sweets. Or even one square of dark chocolate.

    If you're issue is having a sweet tooth, I can commiserate with you!! Believe me, if I could, I would eat cake and ice cream on a daily basis. It's just a matter of balancing and moderation.
  • pinkyslippers
    pinkyslippers Posts: 188 Member
    he's trying to help you. don't get righteously offended, his suggestions are good!
    Agreed!

    Me too. In my experience, many guys are solution oriented: you presented a problem to him, and he offered a solution. Maybe what you needed from him was acknowledgement of your hard work/frustration, but you have to be your own cheerleader :flowerforyou:

    Keep doing what you are doing. Someone suggested walking in the mall, I think that is a good idea. All the best xoxo
  • liz77095
    liz77095 Posts: 27 Member
    Yes I agree yesterday I had pizza and too much of it. But I normally don't do that as you will see.

    For my exercise I have been logging what Mfp says but sibce I read it calculates high I was only eating back half or less. A week or two ago I dropped my calories to 1400 (sedentry, 2 lbs per week). But regardless my net calories for every week have been below goal. (Granted I changed my calories)

    As for the weather I am not using that as an excuse as I go out every day but Houston is seriously humid in the summer. Hence I have been working out inside. We walk too but it is for short walks.

    What I wasupset about with my hubby us that I have been doing a lot of work to lose weight, it just seems like it is never enough. I lost 40lbs last year. For 2 months now I have been very serious about my diet. But honestly, do I really have to focus my entire day on it all the time? I count my food and my exercise and I thought that was doing enough. Yes...I had pizza. I logged it. I will work out again today. I highly doubt that being over on calories one day or two when I am doing a 7000 calorie deficit a week will prevent me from losing weight at all.

    I will work on adding more exercise. I will eat mfps 1400 suggestion.

    I really wanted him to just understand my feelings instead of telling me I am not doing enough.
  • liz77095
    liz77095 Posts: 27 Member
    I really do appreciate your suggestions and help. And looks like I should cut out my ice cream at night.
  • pinkyslippers
    pinkyslippers Posts: 188 Member
    But honestly, do I really have to focus my entire day on it all the time?

    In order to keep the weight off we will have to do this for the rest of our lives, yes. You are doing great - feel free to add me as a friend if you need support and encouragement. I started at 225lbs and am now at 155, and I'm on here every day xoxo
  • trublutopaz
    trublutopaz Posts: 70 Member
    You might want to look at your sodium intake. Lots of the so called "diet" foods make up for lack of fat by adding sugar or salt (or both!) Salt is necessary to life,but the hidden salt in many foods can cause you to retain water. Since I have high blood pressure, this is important to me. I either cook with salt or eat with salt, not both. And I avoid foods I know are high in sodium-like most diet sodas. If you have been used to drinking coffee the caffeine can sometimes have unusual affects as well.
  • Rose6300
    Rose6300 Posts: 232 Member
    But honestly, do I really have to focus my entire day on it all the time?

    In order to keep the weight off we will have to do this for the rest of our lives, yes. You are doing great - feel free to add me as a friend if you need support and encouragement. I started at 225lbs and am now at 155, and I'm on here every day xoxo

    If by focus your entire day on it all the time you mean, "do I have to think before I eat", yes. But it does get easier. But you need to learn how to do it, and practice doing it, over and over. A great way to do this is to be diligent about logging your intake. No more quick-add calories. Log your food before you eat it. Pre-log snacks you know you'll have later in the day so you leave room for them. Eventually, it'll become second nature and it won't be so hard. But as it's a skill that you're still learning, it will be difficult for now.
  • LunaStar2008
    LunaStar2008 Posts: 155 Member
    I recently moved from Virginia to Georgia and it is hot and humid here as well. I still bicycle here, walk outside or even run outside. Just do it in the early morning.
    With a one year old, you can put her in a bicycle trailer and bike. It is fun for them and often he was even napping after a while. Just make sure you get an infant bicycle helmet for the little one. My son loved it when he was smaller and sometimes even asked for "going for a ride". That was encouraging. Even your hubby can join and you can make it a family exercise.

    Just keep motivated. My goal is as well 2lbs per week and I exercise hard for it and I am accurate with my logging. I "brown bag" for work, so I already know how much I will eat, because I log it while I am preparing it. And it is great if I didn't eat everything and can take things off the log :smile: .

    Also, I see a co-relation between my weight loss/gain to my sleep pattern. I work nights and often don't get the adequate sleep I need. I can see that with a toddler, you may have interrupted sleep pattern and not enough rest as well. When I am well rested I am also not as hungry as when I am tired. The body compensate the needed energy with food.

    As for your food logs, others have stated great ideas already and I don't want to sound repetitive. All in all you are doing great by already loosing 40lbs.
  • jjplato
    jjplato Posts: 155 Member
    Me too. In my experience, many guys are solution oriented: you presented a problem to him, and he offered a solution. Maybe what you needed from him was acknowledgement of your hard work/frustration, but you have to be your own cheerleader

    Absolutely! Men try to be problem-solvers. I have this problem with my wife occasionally. She'll explain something that upset her, and I'll think she's looking for advice on what to do, so I'll offer up a solution. Then she says she's not looking for advice, she just wanted somebody to listen to her problem. Men:Mars / Women:Venus

Categories