obsessed with food.

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uglyclub
uglyclub Posts: 83 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello!

I'm recovering from an eating disorder and I've gained almost all my weight back already but I've still not gotten my periods. My BMI is around 20 right now and I'm a 20 yr old female. I eat around 1400-1600 calories on weekdays and 1800-2200 calories on weekends.

My issue is, ever since I started recovering from my ED, I've become extremely obsessed with FOOD. I wake up thinking about breakfast (this is the time I get really anxious because I don't know whether I should have more than a slice of toast for breakfast), while I'm eating breakfast I'm already thinking about lunch. I get so upset when I'm done with lunch because the next time I get to eat is dinner and that's hours away. I chew on gum a lot to distract myself but this is really driving me nuts.

I feel like I'm constantly fighting the urge to binge. I don't binge anymore ever since I stopped restricting my calories. But the urges are still there. I don't feel hunger, but mentally, I'm always longing for food, food and more food.

I've Googled this and some results have told me that this is a result of extreme restriction.. which causes extreme hunger. But I've not been restricting my intake for more than a month now and I'm at a BMI higher than the minimum healthy weight now. I don't know what to do.

I've tried working with my psychologist but she's only helped with resisting the binges. I want to know WHY I'm feeling like this all the time. I wasn't like this before I started starving myself. :-(

Replies

  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    Why are you eating low on weekdays? I would be hungry on 1400 cals also, why don't you eat more if you want to?
  • uglyclub
    uglyclub Posts: 83 Member
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    Why are you eating low on weekdays? I would be hungry on 1400 cals also, why don't you eat more if you want to?

    I'm scared of gaining too quickly. It also makes me feel better about eating 2000+ calories on weekends. :-(
  • pozili
    pozili Posts: 10
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    bump because I can't stop thinking about food either

    btw could you please tell me how you managed to resist binging? I have binged at least 20 times in the past month :(
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
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    I've tried working with my psychologist but she's only helped with resisting the binges. I want to know WHY I'm feeling like this all the time. I wasn't like this before I started starving myself. :-(


    Getting to the bottom of all the issues you have surrounding food and eating is why therapy is important. Understanding why may take a little longer. Stick with your therapist so you have a better chance of resolving what you need to, to be healthy.

    Best of luck. :flowerforyou:
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
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    I've tried working with my psychologist but she's only helped with resisting the binges. I want to know WHY I'm feeling like this all the time. I wasn't like this before I started starving myself. :-(


    Getting to the bottom of all the issues you have surrounding food and eating is why therapy is important. Understanding why may take a little longer. Stick with your therapist so you have a better chance of resolving what you need to, to be healthy.

    Best of luck. :flowerforyou:

    Yep this, I worked with my therapist for 3 1/2 years before I got to the point I felt I had a firm grasp on everything... It isn't just about the food, there are always underlying issue that need addressed and worked through as well to get to the bottom of it.... Stick with it... Best of Luck
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    I've tried working with my psychologist but she's only helped with resisting the binges. I want to know WHY I'm feeling like this all the time. I wasn't like this before I started starving myself. :-(


    Getting to the bottom of all the issues you have surrounding food and eating is why therapy is important. Understanding why may take a little longer. Stick with your therapist so you have a better chance of resolving what you need to, to be healthy.

    Best of luck. :flowerforyou:

    Yep this, I worked with my therapist for 3 1/2 years before I got to the point I felt I had a firm grasp on everything... It isn't just about the food, there are always underlying issue that need addressed and worked through as well to get to the bottom of it.... Stick with it... Best of Luck

    QFT
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    Unless you're 5' or shorter, 1400-1600 would in fact be a calorie restriction. Plug your numbers into MFP, choose how much you want to gain per week, and eat what it tells you. It sounds like it could just be that your body is telling you that it wants more food, simple as that.
  • yallllah
    yallllah Posts: 35 Member
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    As soon as I start to restrict or monitor my calories, I get food-obsessed. The only time I've lost weight (or maintained effortlessly) was when I only thought about food when I was hungry. After trying to diet for 6 months to get rid of 8lbs, I, too, am tired about breakfast being the first thing I think about in the morning...but that's slowly changing as I try to get back to a healthy attitude towards food, instead of worrying about calories all the time. So, I get where you're coming from.

    I'm not saying these books will solve your problem(s) with food, but they certainly are helping me enjoy but not obsess:

    * Brain Over Binge (a little anti-therapy but lots of practical advice. quite empowering.)
    * Have Your Cupcake and Your Skinny Jeans, Too / Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat (both about getting in-tune with your natural hunger cues. some of the advice is useful; some might not be. it's geared towards overeaters, but lots of good advice for anyone trying to put food in its rightful place.)

    At least for me, Brain Over Binge has been the most helpful so far. I didn't have a warped relationship to food before I started trying to diet, and my parents didn't leave me out in the rain as a toddler or anything similarly mentally-scarring, so I know my obsessive food thoughts are all coming from me.

    As for eating more, do so if you are actually physically hungry and not gaining/maintaining as you want. But to me it sounds less like you're physically hungering for something and instead in a mental rut thinking about food all the time. Which I can unfortunately commiserate with....anyway, best of luck to you! Hope we can both clear this mental noise soon.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Just wanted to say that you're not alone. I've always been obsessed with food - heck every time I go somewhere, anywhere, the first thing that I think about is what food I can get there... what I'll eat etc... It took me years to be able to go somewhere without having a snack, and I still struggle with it. Mostly sweets though. I mean, I think about the other stuff too, but sweets is what's harder to resist for me.

    So I let myself have a sweet treat every day (or two smaller ones, if I have the calories). That's why I log and track my calories in a pretty anal way - so that I know I can have a treat guilt free. Then I can pick my treat for the day and enjoy every bite. And I eat smaller/healthier meals to leave room for it. Restricting myself too much just doesn't work... I'll obsess for weeks about something I want to eat. If I just make room for it in my day, I'll be just fine and less likely to binge when I finally get to eat it.

    And I obsess about healthier food... Like lately I've been wanting to have some healthy fish dish instead of chicken fingers and fries, for example. That helps... if I think about the food I'll eat next, I try to make it about 'healthier' food (well, except the sweets), so that I can actually look forward to having my egg white omelet, for example.

    But anyway, I agree, stick to your therapist (and I should probably see one too :laugh: ).
  • uglyclub
    uglyclub Posts: 83 Member
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    Thanks, guys!

    I really do feel like my binging was caused by my under-eating. I never knew there was such a thing as binging until I developed anorexia and tried to recover from it. My psychologist is tackling this problem as a psychological issue but could it be physiological?

    Does the body react this way when not given enough food? Because ever since I increased my calorie intake, I've only had one real binge. What if the reason I'm binging is because my body requires more food due to being starved? I don't know... :( I wish I knew why I was binging. All I know is that I didn't have this problem before I started restricting. I wish I never relapsed.

    I'm really not sure how much I should be eating. Some calculators have said I need around 1600 calories, others 2200 calories... I don't want to end up overeating, but I don't want to be undereating either.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Reading this might give you some insight.
    The rest of the site is very interesting as well.

    http://www.youreatopia.com/blog/2012/10/31/bingeing-is-not-bingeing.html
  • annette_15
    annette_15 Posts: 1,657 Member
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    Just wanted to say your so not alone...:ohwell: :sad: :yawn: :flowerforyou:
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
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    Hi there,
    I had an ED for 5 years and know EXACTLY what you're going through. I honestly think the urge to binge is down to severe restriction. I binged for a whole year and a half after trying to recover which lead to relapses along the way cause I hated that recovery was causing me to binge and gain weight. I'm only now getting them under control and I tell you what, it's so worth it. I never thought my metabolism would recover from restricting. This week I lost 5lbs having 1400cals a day.
    I know how hard it is, I gained all my weight back through binging but hang on in there.
    Feel free to add me anyways :)
  • unnamed101
    unnamed101 Posts: 14
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    I use to feel the same way, and I remembered something that I read about it being about boredom and less about food being awesome, busying yourself with activities and fully enclose you such as exercising seems to turn off the hunger switch, needless to say when i switched to getting in shape my caloric intake became so nominally low everyone here would think I should either be dead or dying.
  • sdps745
    sdps745 Posts: 33 Member
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    Bump for future reference also, because I ALWAYS think about food too!!

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