RANT
Rugbynutter
Posts: 33 Member
Hey All,
Just need to get something of my chest and I reckon you'll be the most receptive audience!
I'm 5"5' and was 95 kgs and 25%ish body fat (210lbs) at my heaviest. I looked like a bloated middle aged man. I went to the gym but diet was all wrong. I thought I was muscular, I was was just fat.
I'm currently around 75kgs and 13% bf. It took about a year.
I'm proud of what I've achieved (although nowhere near spome on here - wow you guys rock!) finally at 35 have the shape I always wanted.
I get asked advice all of the time - "how can I lose fat?", "what do I have to do to put muscle on"?" etc etc. So I go through it, pointers on diet, train at least 3 times a week, written diet plans, provided workout guides etc, offer to meet people in the gym and talk them through some basic movements. After a week or two I always check up and they've always fallen off the wagon. It's too hard, love my food too much - we've all heard them.
I do this because I want to help other people acheive their goals. I am passionate about exercise, it changed my life and I want other people to feel the same.
I'm not a personal trainer.
I have a career, a wife a, three year old.
I've invested my time in you, please stop doing me the dis-service of ignoring the advice I have given. It happens all the time, the guy that wants to "get ripped for summer" or the girl that wants to fit in to "that" dress.
I give up. If I get asked again I will ask "What sacrifices are you prepared to make to reach your goal?" if the answer is "none", they can pay a trainer and waste their time - they get paid for it, I don't.
Sorry guys, had to unload.
Just need to get something of my chest and I reckon you'll be the most receptive audience!
I'm 5"5' and was 95 kgs and 25%ish body fat (210lbs) at my heaviest. I looked like a bloated middle aged man. I went to the gym but diet was all wrong. I thought I was muscular, I was was just fat.
I'm currently around 75kgs and 13% bf. It took about a year.
I'm proud of what I've achieved (although nowhere near spome on here - wow you guys rock!) finally at 35 have the shape I always wanted.
I get asked advice all of the time - "how can I lose fat?", "what do I have to do to put muscle on"?" etc etc. So I go through it, pointers on diet, train at least 3 times a week, written diet plans, provided workout guides etc, offer to meet people in the gym and talk them through some basic movements. After a week or two I always check up and they've always fallen off the wagon. It's too hard, love my food too much - we've all heard them.
I do this because I want to help other people acheive their goals. I am passionate about exercise, it changed my life and I want other people to feel the same.
I'm not a personal trainer.
I have a career, a wife a, three year old.
I've invested my time in you, please stop doing me the dis-service of ignoring the advice I have given. It happens all the time, the guy that wants to "get ripped for summer" or the girl that wants to fit in to "that" dress.
I give up. If I get asked again I will ask "What sacrifices are you prepared to make to reach your goal?" if the answer is "none", they can pay a trainer and waste their time - they get paid for it, I don't.
Sorry guys, had to unload.
0
Replies
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It's realy simple.
"What do you have to do to look like that?"
"Commit."
That will scare most off, the ones that stick around might be worthy of investing in.0 -
It's realy simple.
"What do you have to do to look like that?"
"Commit."
That will scare most off, the ones that stick around might be worthy of investing in.
I like this!0 -
So freakin' true!It's realy simple.
"What do you have to do to look like that?"
"Commit."
That will scare most off, the ones that stick around might be worthy of investing in.0 -
Good for you for your progress! Well done.
I help people all the time. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to Scooby and helped people calculate their approximate TDEE. It is very normal to experience what you are experiencing when you help people. Here's my secret: I realized about twenty years ago that if I ever feel resentment towards another person it is because of something I did, not what they did. My life used to be very chaotic, and I didn't need to add to my stress, so I had to change. Now, whenever I give a gift, advice, my time, my work, etc. I do it without expecting anything in return. I don't expect a thank you, I don't expect them to behave as if they have taken my advice and I don't expect them to be in any way beholden to me. I just do it. I do kind deeds for others because I like to for me. As soon as I feel a tad of resentment entering my thoughts, I know I have gone too far and I pull back. Sounds like this is what you have done. Good on ya!0 -
It's realy simple.
"What do you have to do to look like that?"
"Commit."
That will scare most off, the ones that stick around might be worthy of investing in.
I like this too, I might steal it as well. This happens alot to everyone, people want a quick and easy method.0 -
I know exactly how you feel OP.
I refuse to do more for another person's success than they are willing to do on their own.0 -
Good for you for your progress! Well done.
I help people all the time. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to Scooby and helped people calculate their approximate TDEE. It is very normal to experience what you are experiencing when you help people. Here's my secret: I realized about twenty years ago that if I ever feel resentment towards another person it is because of something I did, not what they did. My life used to be very chaotic, and I didn't need to add to my stress, so I had to change. Now, whenever I give a gift, advice, my time, my work, etc. I do it without expecting anything in return. I don't expect a thank you, I don't expect them to behave as if they have taken my advice and I don't expect them to be in any way beholden to me. I just do it. I do kind deeds for others because I like to for me. As soon as I feel a tad of resentment entering my thoughts, I know I have gone too far and I pull back. Sounds like this is what you have done. Good on ya!
This completely resonated with me...great advice!0 -
Q: I don't feel motivated to work out today. What can I do?
A: Nike advice: JUST DO IT. If today's the day you're supposed to be lifting weights, your *kitten* had best be in the gym.0 -
So freakin' true!It's realy simple.
"What do you have to do to look like that?"
"Commit."
That will scare most off, the ones that stick around might be worthy of investing in.
x20 -
I definitely get it.
I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding and she convinced me that she was "serious" about getting the weight off this time and wanted any help I could give her. I sent her a long email filled with a bunch of useful information/links, I told her how to begin and what worked for me. I told her about MFP and also said that I was here for any additional questions if they arose. The wedding came and went and she's still at the exact same weight. Also, now that she's married, she seems to be pretty content to keep the weight on. If she ever comes to me for advice again, I'll tell her to refer to my previous email.
My best friend also constantly complains about how fat she is, and will occasionally ask, "how do you do it?" I've tried many times to help in the past, but she just can't be bothered to commit to any diet/lifestyle changes, so I no longer bother.
Both my mother and my mother-in-law have recently come to me asking for help because they both want to lose weight. This isn't the first time they've attempted to do something like this, and I don't think my mom will ever do what she needs to do to lose weight, but we'll see what happens to my mother-in-law. She joined MFP this past weekend, used Scooby's calculator to find out how much she needs to eat, and asked me a bunch of questions, so my job is done.
It is frustrating because it's a huge waste of my time to answer your questions if you're just going to give up. I yo-yo dieted for years, but I never wasted anyone's time if I wasn't serious about making changes in my life and eating habits. People see my progress and they think it's easy for me because I make it seem like it is. It's not easy, but it is simple. Do what you need to do, stop making excuses, and lose the weight.0 -
Hi there! Hahaha....you're not alone with this! I've heard it many times. Something like 'you look great (well. thank you..) maybe we can workout together sometime...?' Sure, but they turn right, to the treadmills, and I keep on walking to the weight room. Case closed...
In another case, I have trained a really heavy girl for about 3 month. I have coached before, but I'm not a CPT, and she worked out alongside my training session. I tried to accommodate her, because her work schedule was a bit unpredictable, but when it started messing up my eating schedule, and friends ratted her out for dipping deep into movie popcorn and cheese cake on weekends, I had to dump her. It sounds cruel, I know, but I've got my own goals, and I no longer care about people who are not willing to commit to theirs!0 -
I'm proud of what I've achieved (although nowhere near spome on here - wow you guys rock!) finally at 35 have the shape I always wanted.
I get asked advice all of the time - "how can I lose fat?", "what do I have to do to put muscle on"?" etc etc. So I go through it, pointers on diet, train at least 3 times a week, written diet plans, provided workout guides etc, offer to meet people in the gym and talk them through some basic movements. After a week or two I always check up and they've always fallen off the wagon. It's too hard, love my food too much - we've all heard them.
I do this because I want to help other people acheive their goals. I am passionate about exercise, it changed my life and I want other people to feel the same.
I'm not a personal trainer.
I have a career, a wife a, three year old.
I've invested my time in you, please stop doing me the dis-service of ignoring the advice I have given. It happens all the time, the guy that wants to "get ripped for summer" or the girl that wants to fit in to "that" dress.
I give up. If I get asked again I will ask "What sacrifices are you prepared to make to reach your goal?" if the answer is "none", they can pay a trainer and waste their time - they get paid for it, I don't.
^lmao - my story.
I feel ya bro about as much as a guy can feeel another guy
:laugh:0 -
I really don't care if people take my requested advice or not, most people don't.
And I think I'm somewhat 'ripped'.
Someone needs a tougher skin.0 -
I feel ya bro about as much as a guy can feeel another guy
:laugh:
Um... you may need to get out more :laugh: 0 -
I am sympathetic to your rant, OP. But I also wonder about the flip side. What did you do to learn about these people before giving them advice? I feel like you can kind of tell if people are ready, or if certain advice would be a good fit for them.0
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I feel ya bro about as much as a guy can feeel another guy
:laugh:
Careful, there are videos that illustrate that exact thing... 0 -
^lolz
to the OP - it is important to remember that we are all human - the people that come to us asking for input are humans - they are fallible and don't feel the happiness of having bodyfat%'s below 14 - you are about to touch six pack terrain boss!!
Just remember smile and be gracious with them, just like we are with ourselves.
it is frustrating though.
and be flattered they are coming to us asking for advice - 0 -
Good for you for your progress! Well done.
I help people all the time. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to Scooby and helped people calculate their approximate TDEE. It is very normal to experience what you are experiencing when you help people. Here's my secret: I realized about twenty years ago that if I ever feel resentment towards another person it is because of something I did, not what they did. My life used to be very chaotic, and I didn't need to add to my stress, so I had to change. Now, whenever I give a gift, advice, my time, my work, etc. I do it without expecting anything in return. I don't expect a thank you, I don't expect them to behave as if they have taken my advice and I don't expect them to be in any way beholden to me. I just do it. I do kind deeds for others because I like to for me. As soon as I feel a tad of resentment entering my thoughts, I know I have gone too far and I pull back. Sounds like this is what you have done. Good on ya!
This completely resonated with me...great advice!
Actions should not be based off expectations of others. Do what you do because it makes YOU feel good.0 -
The solution is to just not have friends. Works for me.0
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I don't take that much time out of my day to do that for people unless they pay me.
It's one thing to chat about it- it's another to go out of your way to really devote time and energy to this. IF they want it that bad- they can pay you- then it's not a waste of your time and energy and they are more likely (but not for sure) to stick with it.
Either way- you don't lose so much out on it.
Congrats on your loss and your gains!!!0 -
I don't take that much time out of my day to do that for people unless they pay me.
It's one thing to chat about it- it's another to go out of your way to really devote time and energy to this. IF they want it that bad- they can pay you- then it's not a waste of your time and energy and they are more likely (but not for sure) to stick with it.
Either way- you don't lose so much out on it.
Congrats on your loss and your gains!!!
So sad that you feel that way. I greatly appreciated the time that experienced people took off their valuable training session to help me out, explain machines to me, give me advise of my form.... I'd be happy to give back what I received for free. I'm only asking for honest commitment....0 -
I don't take that much time out of my day to do that for people unless they pay me.
It's one thing to chat about it- it's another to go out of your way to really devote time and energy to this. IF they want it that bad- they can pay you- then it's not a waste of your time and energy and they are more likely (but not for sure) to stick with it.
Either way- you don't lose so much out on it.
Congrats on your loss and your gains!!!
So sad that you feel that way. I greatly appreciated the time that experienced people took off their valuable training session to help me out, explain machines to me, give me advise of my form.... I'd be happy to give back what I received for free. I'm only asking for honest commitment....
Why make someone a priority who isn't doing the same for you?0 -
People at work ask me all the time how I lost weight. I tell them and a week later I hear them talking about the latest diet they are on. Whatever, if they want to keep doing the same thing and keep gaining and losing the same 10 pounds that is on them. I just keep doing my thing.0
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I only try and give real advice and feedback to people who I know are sincerely asking for help. Everyone else is just an askhole. I'm pretty good at spotting those people.0
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I don't take that much time out of my day to do that for people unless they pay me.
It's one thing to chat about it- it's another to go out of your way to really devote time and energy to this. IF they want it that bad- they can pay you- then it's not a waste of your time and energy and they are more likely (but not for sure) to stick with it.
Either way- you don't lose so much out on it.
Congrats on your loss and your gains!!!
So sad that you feel that way. I greatly appreciated the time that experienced people took off their valuable training session to help me out, explain machines to me, give me advise of my form.... I'd be happy to give back what I received for free. I'm only asking for honest commitment....
I've been working out- sewing and dancing for years.
All of which are often over looked- under valued and under paid.
I know the cost of my time. It's worth significantly more than people are willing to pay me.
I spend A LOT of time helping people in my day to day life talking about working out diet- form fitness etc. I do not feel that I am cheap with my time and energy on a day to day basis.
But if you SPECIFICALLY ask me to go out of my way to write a program- or meet you at the gym to teach you something- and you aren't taking me seriously that's not fair.
My time is valuable. I work 3 jobs. I do not HAVE spare time- so I have to MAKE time for you and I should be compensated for it. That's time I could be spending somewhere else- either making money or learning something or doing something for someone who gives a crap.
I also cannot work out with you. I can teach you- but if I show up to met you at the gym- I'm not working out. So it's not like you're just tagging on- I do not GET a work out when I have to teach and coach. So don't act like you're just showing up and doing what I do- it doesn't work like that.
Secondly I spend a lot of time on here helping people consistently. I spend time talking to people at my studio with stuff.
There is a significant difference between chit chatting about stuff verses going out of your way to WRITE UP A PROGRAM- that's time and effort- or taking time to teach you about lifting. These things are valuable. Could you learn on your own? sure- but you asked ME to do it for you. That's worth something.
Just throwing out some helpful advice is different than going out of your way to really guide someone down a path. And one requires no effort- the other one requires effort and one should be compensated properly for it.0 -
I have a coworker that keeps saying, "I don't know what you're doing but it's working." I give a summary of the exercise or food changes (which aren't many) and she's OK with that. But when I tell her about MFP she says, "Oh I don't count calories." Okay then... stop asking.0
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It's realy simple.
"What do you have to do to look like that?"
"Commit."
That will scare most off, the ones that stick around might be worthy of investing in.
Good one! I have a team picture from 3 years ago that includes me at my former size (30 lbs or so more than now). I keep it up in my office as a reminder not only to myself, but as an example to others. When someone starts complaining about they can't believe how they've let themselves go, blah, blah. I point to the picture and say "I know." They often comment "I can't believe that was you", or "You don't look anything like that now." I will follow up with "I have to eat a balanced diet and exercise 5 days/week to not look like that again. It's not easy, but it's worth it. I'm healthy and I feel so much better." That pretty much says all there is to say. People know that I will tell them more if they want and they also know I will be very truthful with them about their "lack of progress". In return, I don't expect them to follow my advice. It's their choice, not mine. I will make note encourage them when I notice they are doing well.0 -
I don't take that much time out of my day to do that for people unless they pay me.
It's one thing to chat about it- it's another to go out of your way to really devote time and energy to this. IF they want it that bad- they can pay you- then it's not a waste of your time and energy and they are more likely (but not for sure) to stick with it.
Either way- you don't lose so much out on it.
Congrats on your loss and your gains!!!
So sad that you feel that way. I greatly appreciated the time that experienced people took off their valuable training session to help me out, explain machines to me, give me advise of my form.... I'd be happy to give back what I received for free. I'm only asking for honest commitment....
I've been working out- sewing and dancing for years.
All of which are often over looked- under valued and under paid.
I know the cost of my time. It's worth significantly more than people are willing to pay me.
I spend A LOT of time helping people in my day to day life talking about working out diet- form fitness etc. I do not feel that I am cheap with my time and energy on a day to day basis.
But if you SPECIFICALLY ask me to go out of my way to write a program- or meet you at the gym to teach you something- and you aren't taking me seriously that's not fair.
My time is valuable. I work 3 jobs. I do not HAVE spare time- so I have to MAKE time for you and I should be compensated for it. That's time I could be spending somewhere else- either making money or learning something or doing something for someone who gives a crap.
I also cannot work out with you. I can teach you- but if I show up to met you at the gym- I'm not working out. So it's not like you're just tagging on- I do not GET a work out when I have to teach and coach. So don't act like you're just showing up and doing what I do- it doesn't work like that.
Secondly I spend a lot of time on here helping people consistently. I spend time talking to people at my studio with stuff.
There is a significant difference between chit chatting about stuff verses going out of your way to WRITE UP A PROGRAM- that's time and effort- or taking time to teach you about lifting. These things are valuable. Could you learn on your own? sure- but you asked ME to do it for you. That's worth something.
Just throwing out some helpful advice is different than going out of your way to really guide someone down a path. And one requires no effort- the other one requires effort and one should be compensated properly for it.
Ahh....I get your point. I make my own competition bikinis, and it's not worth selling any, considering, how much money I would have to ask for, with all the work and crystals involved....
I may be knowledgeable and experienced in training and fitness, but I'm not certified. I won't give out any training programs or nutrition advise for financial gain at this point. Besides, most gyms will not allow it anyway, unless officially signed in and sharing profit with the gym owner. Which again, is not worth the effort for me, because there are not enough prospect clients in this area to make it worth the investment and upkeep of a trainer certification in the first place.
As far as having someone 'tagging along' for training, it worked so well for me and this friend that we had others walk up to us, admitting to be afraid to join......lol0 -
Thanks all - some really useful advice and points of view. By coincidence someoneasked this afternoon where I found the time to work out. My answer......
"My alarm goes off at 0530 and I often work out twice a day."
That stunned them.
Think I'll just pull back a little and not expect too much. I spent and still spend hours reading & researching techniques etc, just annoys me that people seem to think it's easy!
Stay hungry :-)0 -
Thanks all - some really useful advice and points of view. By coincidence someoneasked this afternoon where I found the time to work out. My answer......
"My alarm goes off at 0530 and I often work out twice a day."
That stunned them.
Think I'll just pull back a little and not expect too much. I spent and still spend hours reading & researching techniques etc, just annoys me that people seem to think it's easy!
Stay hungry :-)
I feel you, OP. I am asked for advice at work all the time, only to be told "Oh, I could never do that!" You could never do what? Count calories and lift weights? A lot of people don't understand the difference between "can't" and "won't."
Then they tell me "I'm lucky" Because I "have a nice figure." I'm sorry, did you remember the part where I told you that I get up at 5 AM MWF and go to the gym for an hour before I come to work? Did I mention I also go to night school? I guess I'm just lucky, has nothing to do with how hard I work.
I'm equally as annoyed by people on the message boards who post "Please help, I need motivation, a plan, and friends to kick my *kitten*!" as their first post. Really? You're so lazy that you can't search for topics, read stickies and attempt to learn how to help yourself? How do you expect to be able to give this the commitment it needs?
This is a rant thread right? Everyone can rant? :explode:0
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