Not everyone sees your sucsess

kspenglermoore
kspenglermoore Posts: 58 Member
in Success Stories
Food for thought ; A few days ago my hubby and I went to a party at a friends house..... while talking to my friends mom I was stating how proud I was about my hubby loosing 35 lbs and making his weight loss goal. Another lady overheard this, looked at me and said: "So when are you going to start?"...... My jaw just dropped. It took me only few seconds to recover and answer: "I have already started and lost over 40lbs"...... The lady just starred at me and her discomfort was visible to everyone watching....... My comeback felt pretty good, but it also reminded me that my success is not visible to everybody and that I still have a long way to go....... It reminded me also that I am not doing this for anybody but me!!!!.... yes, it will be nice not to be the fat chick with the good looking skinny guy (my hubby), but my health and quality of life is really why I am doing this and not so other people can be envious of me!!!..... also my success in weight loss will not solve what other problems I have!
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Replies

  • Joyfulkneves23
    Joyfulkneves23 Posts: 79 Member
    Congrats on your weight loss. I would not focus on that lady’s ignorance and shame on her for even asking, that is just rude.

    Keep up the good work :)
  • Asherah29
    Asherah29 Posts: 354 Member
    I can't get past the rudeness of even asking someone you simply over hear in a conversation when they are going to start working out! But phooey on her! 40 pounds is fantastic!
  • Briaboo4
    Briaboo4 Posts: 1,080 Member
    I love your great attitude! Way to put that rude woman in her place! :)
  • Insomniac8
    Insomniac8 Posts: 182
    I cannot forget the day I went to a party about 2 months ago, thinking how family's reaction would be as I had lost about 8/9 kg. So I stepped in and just after half an hour a cousin came to me and asked if I gained weight. You cannot imagine my face!!! After that I learned that I cannot expect everyone notices what I see. Plus, this time is my second time on a diet and last time I went down to a weight where all family and friends were applauding and told me how good I looked. So I stopped dieting and I regret it too much as it was not still my ideal weight. This time with all the experience I exactly know what I want, it makes me happy when people admire my body and determination but neither their admiration nor their ignorance will affect my goal.
    Cheers to us!
  • dancer2u
    dancer2u Posts: 35 Member
    Honey I hear you! Some people are just really rude, & don't think before they speak. I have lost almost 20 pounds, & haven't had one person say I look any different other than my husband. When they do ask how much I have lost, I can see the look on their face like "you sure don't look like you lost any too me". I am doing this for myself though & nobody else & have went down a size already. I feel better & will continue to work on myself, & just ignore the haters. :)

    Edit: I do have a story though. I had someone tell me that I looked skinner, but they said it's because the outfit I had on made me look thinner, & would on almost anyone. Some people don't need to speak, lol.
  • Cruz2Fit
    Cruz2Fit Posts: 159 Member
    Honey I hear you! Some people are just really rude, & don't think before they speak. I have lost almost 20 pounds, & haven't had one person say I look any different other than my husband. When they do ask how much I have lost, I can see the look on their face like "you sure don't look like you lost any too me". I am doing this for myself though & nobody else & have went down a size already. I feel better & will continue to work on myself, & just ignore the haters. :)

    Edit: I do have a story though. I had someone tell me that I looked skinner, but they said it's because the outfit I had on made me look thinner, & would on almost anyone. Some people don't need to speak, lol.

    OMG on you Edit!!! WHY WOULD ANYONE SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT??? Is that person so dissatisfied with his/her life that they have to bring other people down that way? Or is it a complete lack of social skills and relating to other human beings? Congratulations on your weight-loss! Keep looking forward! Surround yourself with people who are positive and support you!
    I support you!
  • bmskid
    bmskid Posts: 153 Member
    Definitely a great attitude!
    Rule of Thumb with weight loss: People suck. Sometimes they're jealous, sometimes they're just buttholes. I like to pretend other people's opinions don't exist and that mine is the only one that matters. :)
  • amandaschaller28
    amandaschaller28 Posts: 8
    What an ugly person. I hate people like that. Haters gonna hate! Seems like you shrugged it off quite nice!
  • trinacrick
    trinacrick Posts: 41
    Congrats on your successes! Honestly, she probably saw it and is just one of those mean people. I used to let people like that get under my skin, I would have spent the next two days thinking of about a hundred things I wished I would have said to her. Now I don't let people get away with it. I look them straight in the eye and say "what an incredibly rude thing to say!" It is my hope that it saves the next person the hurt because maybe, just maybe, they will actually think twice before they are so thoughtless again.

    Good luck on your continued goals!
  • aliwhalen
    aliwhalen Posts: 150 Member
    I used to nanny for a woman who was overweight, and I would watch her daughter while she ran with her sister every morning. One day, a neighbor stopped her to say, "Oh, I didn't know you were a runner!" she replied, "Yeah! Five miles a day!", the neighbor replied, "You'd think you'd be skinnier!"

    WOW. I wanted to punch neighbor-lady in the teeth. People like to talk without thinking first!

    My PIL still haven't noticed I've lost about 15 pounds, or they don't want to mention it? I went from a size 12 to a size 8 in two months, so I'm a little miffed about it :P
  • walk757
    walk757 Posts: 96 Member
    Congrats on your successes! Honestly, she probably saw it and is just one of those mean people. I used to let people like that get under my skin, I would have spent the next two days thinking of about a hundred things I wished I would have said to her. Now I don't let people get away with it. I look them straight in the eye and say "what an incredibly rude thing to say!" It is my hope that it saves the next person the hurt because maybe, just maybe, they will actually think twice before they are so thoughtless again.

    Good luck on your continued goals!

    Love it, I am going to remember your comeback!
  • MissJay75
    MissJay75 Posts: 768 Member

    My PIL still haven't noticed I've lost about 15 pounds, or they don't want to mention it? I went from a size 12 to a size 8 in two months, so I'm a little miffed about it :P

    I've lost 20 pounds this spring (from 174 to 154) and none of my family or friends have said anything. On the other hand they had the good grace not to say anything over the past 2 years when I gained 40 pounds, so not complaining. :)
  • Mariachicat
    Mariachicat Posts: 311 Member
    There's something I saw on Pinterest where it takes approximately a couple of weeks for you to start seeing changes in yourself, about a month for family and friends, and two to three months for everyone else. That's probably not completely accurate time wise, but your story reminds me that while it's tempting to seek immediate validation in others' approval, willpower and persistence in the absence of encouragement or validation is a wiser investment. Keep up the good work!
  • kspenglermoore
    kspenglermoore Posts: 58 Member
    Thanks for all the kudos...... .the story was meant as encouragement to on going even if those around you are not recognizing your success.... and as a topic for others to share their frustrations with nobody noticing their accomplishments ..... and yes there will always be those rude people out there, but they really do not count!.....

    And yes, I get frustrated on some days about the slow progress or on some days reversal of progress (I have a water retention issue my kidney doc and I are working on), but on most days I am fine with "people" not noticing my losses. It is enough that I know!
  • Sawieger88
    Sawieger88 Posts: 25 Member
    I have just hit the 40 lb mark and I have been stalling a little bit there. At first no one believed I had lost that much weight and no people won't shut up about it. I think it takes some time for people to notice it and your body to shrink up the skin and tighten up. There has only been a 2 lb difference From one coworker saying they can't tell to asking me all my "skinny secrets"! I think it just takes the right outfit or circumstance. And fat shaming is the worst. Most fat people know they are fat and that it is unhealthy. It's like telling a smoker they will get cancer. They know. Leave them alone unless they are a close loved one you are actually concerned about.

    My point is celebrate your triumphs in being a healthier you and not a cold hearted **** that likes to rain on parades. Just sayin!
  • slimbettie
    slimbettie Posts: 686 Member
    When I lost 15kg a "friend" of mine told me I have no wrinkles because my fat stretches them out. So now that I have lost almost 30kg, I guess she is going to tell me she can see wrinkles! I will see her in December. But am already bracing myself for the rude remarks, all born out of pure jealousy!!!!
  • motivatedmartha
    motivatedmartha Posts: 1,108 Member

    My PIL still haven't noticed I've lost about 15 pounds, or they don't want to mention it? I went from a size 12 to a size 8 in two months, so I'm a little miffed about it :P

    I've lost 20 pounds this spring (from 174 to 154) and none of my family or friends have said anything. On the other hand they had the good grace not to say anything over the past 2 years when I gained 40 pounds, so not complaining. :)

    You make a good point - my family have never commented on my weight increase so I shouldn't expect them to comment on my weight loss :smile:
  • mary659497
    mary659497 Posts: 484 Member
    You can't change stupid people. Congratulations on losing 40 pounds.
  • sabified
    sabified Posts: 1,035 Member
    Congrats on your weight loss. I would not focus on that lady’s ignorance and shame on her for even asking, that is just rude.

    Keep up the good work :)

    I love when the very first reply says just what I want to :)

    That lady was a jerk- glad she felt it.
  • KaelaLee88
    KaelaLee88 Posts: 229 Member
    Congratulations on your weight-loss!

    I have lost just under 50lbs since January and most people are very complimentary (after 30lbs or so, it becomes evident on my body that there's been a change) but some people don't notice at all.

    At the end of the day, it is my body. I don't really want or need the kind of attention that comes from only having a beautiful body (whatever shape or size it might be). I would much rather be praised on having a beautiful mind or personality - these are things that cannot be changed and mean more that how you once-looked as time goes by.

    The people that find themselves passing judgement on others for how much they weigh or what clothes size they wear are just that, Judgemental. An opinionated person can have opinions on every little thing that happens in the world but that doesn't mean to say that they are right.

    Kaela x
  • girldownsouth
    girldownsouth Posts: 920 Member
    Congratulations on your loss. I have lost about 45lb this year and have had loads of comments over the last month or so, including a few people saying I lose more every time I see them, even though it's now slowed down. I think it seems to work like that, and although when people say things I feel a bit embarrassed about how far I still have to go, I still feel better than if I actually told people what I'd lost and feel like they're thinking, really, you can't see it, which is sometimes what I feel they think if someone else points out my loss to them.
  • staceylw31
    staceylw31 Posts: 29 Member
    How about your own doctor who has been on you to lose weight not even saying good job when you have lost 30 or so lbs? Yep that is what happened to me last year...I thought of all people she would be estatic because she has been telling me every time I went to lose weight...nope she didn't even say a word.
  • boxer114
    boxer114 Posts: 8 Member
    I so understand your post. First, that person is very rude, no manners or class whatsoever. Second, I have had a total of about 75 to 80 pounds or so to lose, have lost over 30lbs, and not one person has noticed, so I understand. I agree that we are doing it for ourselves, for our health and longevity . . . not the reactions of others, although I would be nice to be complimented for our hard work and effort.
  • samanthaxb
    samanthaxb Posts: 54 Member
    How about your own doctor who has been on you to lose weight not even saying good job when you have lost 30 or so lbs? Yep that is what happened to me last year...I thought of all people she would be estatic because she has been telling me every time I went to lose weight...nope she didn't even say a word.

    This happened to me too! I told him that I was working out and losing weight and he didn't care at all!
  • BIGBMF
    BIGBMF Posts: 50 Member
    This person is a piece of ****. People like this want to tear someone else apart because they don't want anyone else to notice what horrible people they are. I've lost over 120 pounds and run into these people quite frequently. I'm still 276 but that doesn't mean I'm not doing anything. I hope you get where you want to be. Don't mind the *kitten* along the way.
  • staceylw31
    staceylw31 Posts: 29 Member
    How about your own doctor who has been on you to lose weight not even saying good job when you have lost 30 or so lbs? Yep that is what happened to me last year...I thought of all people she would be estatic because she has been telling me every time I went to lose weight...nope she didn't even say a word.

    This happened to me too! I told him that I was working out and losing weight and he didn't care at all!


    Yep not a care at all...I was not happy at all lol
  • homemadehippy
    homemadehippy Posts: 44 Member
    I hear you. I've lost 56 lbs and dropped from a 4x pants /5x shirt size to a 1x pants/2x shirt size and only one person noticed - one of my sisters-in-law.. She is so sweet. I wanted to squishy hug her right there in the middle of our JDRF walk. My mother hasn't even noticed yet!
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    People can be so weird and rude. I'm sorry that anybody has had to deal with comments like this.

    I'm not sure if it is because people don't notice my weight loss or maybe they notice and don't know what to say but I've mostly had people ask me if I am doing my hair differently now. I've heard "your hair looks different" a lot lately.
  • kay_walker
    kay_walker Posts: 3 Member
    Unless it's something truly positive, I think it's rude to comment on weight. Period.
  • medlaura
    medlaura Posts: 282 Member
    Wow, congrats to you on your hard work to get to your goals. Ignore the people that talk before they can even think. That just says enough about them. You are on the right track. :flowerforyou:

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