Partner trouble

Just do you... I mean obviously don't start getting fit and make them feel inadequate b/c perhaps they're not. Just log your food, do your workouts, be loving to your partner and hopefully all will go well.

Keep me posted! I'm pulling for you!!

I would guess that they are insecure and a little afraid about how your weight loss will change you, your feelings about them, and/or your relationship. Also, the fact that you are motivated to make changes in your life might be shedding some light on changes that they might need to make but are not yet ready to recognize. For whatever reason (whether they are aware of it of not) your attempt to lose weight and become healthier is making them uncomfortable and their "world" might feel a little threatened. People tend to find safety and security in their relationships. When the boat begins to rock, they start taking counter measures to make it steady again. Have you tried telling them how you feel about their comments? Have you tried reassuring them?

My partner trouble is kind of the opposite. My husband has always been 5'8", 165 lbs. Runs 4-5 miles every single day, is in perfect shape, etc. I, on the other hand, well, I'm on MFP for a reason. Every time I tell him I'm trying to "get healthy" (my code for lose weight), he starts feeling bad, like he's making me do it (which he's definitely not) and will say something like, "have ONE more piece of [insert food]" and will slide it on to my plate or other similar actions. Like it's his way of telling me he loves me no matter what I look like. I love him for him loving me no matter what, but I knows he'd prefer me thinner rather than in the 190s and I don't like being sabotaged.

So what I've learned to do is not tell him I'm trying to lose weight. That way he's not sliding anything onto my plate, etc. Rather, he just thinks I'm not as hungry.

Weight loss is a personal journey. Don't let anyone get in the way of that, no matter what form (words, actions) sabotage comes from.

Thanks all.

Its just makes me all the more determined.

I wont tell her she is hurting me as I suspect that may well be what she feeds on.

Watch me go

Craig

If your partner feeds off hurting you, it's time to find a new partner.

what she said!

I think the opposite! i think you should tell here that she hurts you. If she loves you more or less she would not want to hurt you and will try to stop it.
Or ask her why she makes this comment?
I actually think it is very weird that she does it. so you should talk about it. (but i am lucky with a supersupportive partner)

Pre-response: I don't have a partner, so I'm not 100% qualified ... but... here goes:

I've dealt with people - in general, friends, etc - saying things like that to me. Either offering me more food, laughing at me, or saying sure you'll get better. A lot of posters here have it right. It's secret envy. But, there's one thing I think is even more important:

Confront the attitude and be honest. I saw someone say "find a new partner" - cmon, there is always struggles and things to work through. I think about my own life and my work life - I worked with someone who was a huge jerk all the time. In more of a fit of anger than planned-conflict, I confronted them and said "what's the deal with all this." They knew they were doing it but - because I was a "big guy" they thought I could handle it (imagine that, cuz my frame is larger, that increases my ability to accept criticism? how illogical!) Anyway, in the future I plan to have more control and address those problems sooner.

Anyway, my point here: I agree with the people who say you should and CAN confront your partner. But do it in a loving way, take time to think about it before... and whatever you do, do not allow yourself to complacently suck up any abuse in your life any more! At least for me, that's why I got here... and here is no good - far away from the path I'm finding my way back to again.