I feel so bloated!

I had a horrible 3 day binge a few days ago that I'm recovering from. Still. Still! After 3 days? Come on man. It doesn't usually take this long for me to go back to my sexy non bloated self!

How long can It take for all the retention to go away? Would eating a burger help? If someone says it will, I will get in my car right now and go find me the biggest fattest burger to shove into my face. I don't want to. But I will. For my health.