How do i break the insane obsession with food??

I do understand. I disagree with some experts and for me it is all or nothing. I can not eat a small taste os something, especially if it is the house. So I try to be on the nothing long enough to get rid of it. I am really trying to give up wheat. Hard. I find protein helps. Protein as soon as possible in the morning sets a good start.

^ I am an all or nothing type as well. It is good to know that and just abstain.

I also have cut out grains and protein is great but don't skimp on the unsaturated fats, they really are satiating and healthy.

Wow, these are some great posts. I really appreciate all the feedback. I particularly like the suggestions about posting even on bad days. I have to admit that if I start out with a healthy breakfast but lose it at lunch and then of course dinner, I wouldn't log those days. I'm going back to log my binge day just to see how bad it was. I don't know who I think I'm fooling by not logging the binge days.

Thanks everybody!!!

You definitely need to be honest with yourself, to keep things on track. That means recording everything you're eating every single day, no matter if you blow your calorie count or not. Eventually it syncs in, how much you're eating, and a little switch goes off in your brain and says I really don't need to clean this plate, or go for a second helping.

Yesterday I had a terrible binge day although most of my days are binge days. I don't hate myself for them. I just accept the fact that I have to overeat, that it's hopeless to try and I can't be successful. I hate being so fateful about my situation but I do know that I have chronically failed in the past.

I'm not normal. I know that most people don't anticipate meals that way. I accept that. The question is...how do i break this obsession and give myself the opportunity to live a healthy lifestyle and not die from a massive coronary before I'm 60?

Motivation isn't doing it for me. Knowledge isn't doing it for me. I obsess over food. Is it possible to stop?

I sympathise. I'm a binge eater, lost 40kg with FA (like OA), then regained it. Yesterday I planned dessert before I even got out of bed! I remember talking to an FA member who had fallen off the wagon and spent 2 years trying to get abstinent again. I thought that was amazing, she kept going to the meetings and every day she tried and never gave up. Some days are better than others but don't give up. Celebrate the small successes, like walking even though you were in pain, but don't give up. It's progress not perfection - just don't give up.

Sounds like me up until 2 yrs ago. I was medicating with food in order to deal with everyday life. My first waking thoughts were of food. I needed to preload on pleasure to start my day right. All meals had to be extremely rich and tasty, full of textures and flavor. Having a bad meal or one that didn't satisfy the pleasure center was annoying because it meant I would be seeking another meal shortly even though I might have been stuffed. Like a functional alcoholic my eating was the highest priority in my day. I was deluding myself saying that I was a foodie since I rarely purchased junk food and cooked most of my food. I routinely made my own sushi, pho, fresh rolls and stir frys. I didn't feel excessively depressed or stressed out, but then again why would I? I was constantly on a food high. But I began to notice that my 7 yr old was beginning to become entirely too focused on food. I went to my priest to have a discussion about my gluttony....I do not shy away from that word anymore. We talked about the root causes of my gluttony most specifically my pride and poor self esteem. I never really loved myself as God loves me. I felt a bit cheated in fact. Out of 6 children I was the only obese one. I was given a marvelous functioning body but all I saw were flaws. I started hoarding and sneaking food during my parents bitter divorce and it just blossomed from there. Finally at the age of 43 I fell in love with me as an obese woman. I began to talk to myself with kindness and appreciate the body I have. Since that very moment food became not that important. I stopped going to parties just to anchor myself at the buffet. I stopped planning huge family meals at holidays. I started to serve myself the same portions everyone else was eating and stopped going back for more. I started editing trigger foods out of my life. I am still rather stunned by all of the pleasures I passed up just because I was obsessed with food not to mention putting my health at risk when I have a child and husband depending on me. My obsession now is healthy food to take care of the temple given to me. It is funny how much attention and time I poured into food which doesn't love you back. God was always there for me but I chose to worship food. Everyday life for me still holds the same old stressors but I start my day with prayer, a 15 min walk and a sensible breakfast. I have left my food prison. I always had the key I just had to choose to leave. You will break your obsession with food when you choose you over food. God bless. I will say a prayer to St Maximilian Kolbe to assist you with your addiction.

Actually, I'm not sure that your anticipating nature towards food IS all that different from your healthy friends. Yes it may be true of some, but I know I for one, am always thinking about food. It's very hard! I've lost weight, I'm at a healthy weight, but I still am always thinking about my next meal. The difference is that I add in one more thing to think about: "How can I make that meal a healthy one and stay in my calorie goal?"

I love meal planning. It's fun! Maybe you can try to combine the mentalities.

Good on you for going into the 12 step program Try to keep going on that path and it may be just what you need.

I would check out Iyanla Vanzant (has youtube advice videos). You have the knowledge, willpower and the skills to lose weight because you lost a ton of weight once. So, no deficit exists in either of those three factors. Instead, there may some kind of belief that is keeping you overweight.

Are you trying to protect yourself from something with a layer of fat? Did you absorb limiting beliefs about yourself from your environment? Are you scared to lose weight because of the potential for loose skin? Do you feel like you don't deserve it?

You get what you expect, not what you want. You have to expect that you're going to lose weight easily, effectively and happily, for the last time. What is holding you back from expecting this?

So much good advice - Its nice to know i'm not alone and so many people have such great stories and advice

^^ This!! ^^
OP, you are not alone in this. I can relate A LOT. I am envious of a thin friend I know who says he doesn't like feeling full (!!). I wish I could say the same. I love to eat and I love food and I like feeling full. I am an all-or-nothing person, however, with regards to certain "trigger" foods (Fritos, Peppermint Patties, bread... the list is long and, alas!, carrots and brussels sprouts are not on that list) so I just had to stop eating them. I don't keep them in the house. I find that the longer I stay away from, say, Fritos, the less hold they have on me, although they still call to me in the grocery store. Just thinking about bread makes me salivate. I always thought I was weird but obviously there are others like me. Just that knowledge helps me stay on the path. I find that the more nutritious foods I eat, the less cravings I have. One day at a time, one meal at a time, you can find the way to make peace with food.