YOU have control

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Replies

  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
    OP, what you say is true, even if put in a way that some people couldn't quite get their heads around.

    I've had a lot of hardship in my life over the last 10 years, don't really feel the need to share all the details but it's been hard. At times, I treated food as my friend and confidant and my weight has yo-yoed up and down 40kg because of emotional and binge eating.

    Last year I got things under "control" by saying stop... To myself. I stopped plugging up all the empty holes of pain with food, and instead learnt to respect myself and began to think that I actually did deserve better. I started eating better, I went back to the gym (a hobby I have always loved) I took control of what I could - when there were so many things that I couldn't control.

    As a result, everything got better. I lost weight, I re-gained my self esteem and I found my confidence again. Some of life's little challenges are still there for me, but I cope with things much better at this end of the scale.

    It's true, we can choose the path that we want - we just have to want it badly enough and see the possibilities ahead, make a choice.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    *eyeroll* try working at a job that doesn't allow lunch or breaks, and forces its employees to work long hours until exhaustion and then tell me I have no excuse. There *are* situations, abusive situations, that people find themselves in where the only variable is the situation NOT them. A nutritionist literally told me my weight gain and inability to lose weight was 100% because of my job, and that I'd lose all of it once I left my job. She was right.

    I'm not the only person I know who has been in an extremely abusive situation in life where their eating and exercising was NOT under their control until they were able to leave the dangerous/abusive situation.

    I'm confused. In your former (current?) capacity as an indentured servant with no rights, shouldn't you have lost weight? I mean, no breaks, no lunch time, long hours and lots of stress seems like you would have been shedding fat right along with hair.

    Wait, or did you choose to eat huge portions of high calorie foods while choosing to not exercise your rights as an employee? Trick question, because it doesn't matter. Either way you made the choice, so stop blaming your job. Are you going to blame the OP for whatever you do after getting upset at her thread?
  • JoshuaL86
    JoshuaL86 Posts: 403 Member
    With all the eye rolling going on in this thread, people are going to have their eyes stuck in the back of their heads. :)
  • IlluminatedMayhem
    IlluminatedMayhem Posts: 177
    I know there is a way around every excuse but sometimes it takes time and effort. An anorexic isn't better overnight and neither is someone with the opposite challenges.

    I'll agree that there is no excuse for not regaining control. Yes, it can be very hard but it is worth it. I just wanted to point out that always is a very strong word and that there can be exceptions to every rule.

    I'm one of those people that completely lost control. I've regained it and I have to fight every day to keep it. Its one of the hardest things I've ever done and I could slip back into my old habits tomorrow if I don't watch it. I'll probably have to fight this battle for rest of my life. I still have my bad days but I think I'm doing ok.
  • Kamikazeflutterby
    Kamikazeflutterby Posts: 770 Member
    Wait OP, you mean I'm responsible for what I eat and I can try and hold onto the small things for a big result when the rest of my life is going to hell?


    2013-04-30-21-12-05.jpg?w=600
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    I just wrapped my Cadillac around a tree. A big swarm of locusts is following me. There's not even anything good on TV. It's just one of those days.
  • HanamiDango
    HanamiDango Posts: 456 Member
    I think this post is good, just the wording is a bit off. The whole "your eating and exercising is THE ONE THING that YOU can control" is a trigger for eating disorders. It is one of my triggers at that. When life gets stressful I either over eat or under eat, because it is what I control. (ETA: I am working on the balance and proper eating no matter what happens. Does not mean I do not fail at this as well) Also, not everyone can control exercise. There are things that can deter a person's exercise level, but they can watch how they eat still and manage within that range.

    Everyone has a responsibility to themselves to live up to their full potential. Remember, you are the one person who has the say on what goes into your mouth, just as much as you have a say in what style of life you want to live. Being your ideal person, look, does not fall into place. It requires work, hard work, and that work does not stop. No matter what life give you, you must make the most of it without any excuse. Do not give up on yourself, work hard, and become the person you want to be. Stick with that person too. This goes for food, exercise, your looks, and personality. No matter what hardship you may face, know that someone else faces it too, and they keep moving forward. When something wrong goes on, even if you make a mistake or excuse, remind yourself of who you are, who you want to be, pick yourself up and keep on walking.
  • getitamb
    getitamb Posts: 2,019 Member
    *eyeroll* try working at a job that doesn't allow lunch or breaks, and forces its employees to work long hours until exhaustion and then tell me I have no excuse. There *are* situations, abusive situations, that people find themselves in where the only variable is the situation NOT them. A nutritionist literally told me my weight gain and inability to lose weight was 100% because of my job, and that I'd lose all of it once I left my job. She was right.

    I'm not the only person I know who has been in an extremely abusive situation in life where their eating and exercising was NOT under their control until they were able to leave the dangerous/abusive situation.









    You can workout before work and eat on the clock. Several small snacks in fact. U can also buy a pedometer, track your steps and make that your exercise. You don't get tomwalk around, walk in place. :) just suggestions
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    This thread sure went off the rails early.
  • stephanieluvspb
    stephanieluvspb Posts: 997 Member
    OP i agree completely i just hate the word "excuses" i gained over 50 pounds in nursing school, i worked full time and was a full time student. I ate way to much vending machine food and fast food, i opted to get 5 hours of sleep and not exercise instead of 4 hours of sleep to exercise. I could of ate better, walked during lunch breaks, ect but i didn't. Its not an " excuse" its just the truth. Im not whining about it and blaming others. An excuse would be me sitting on the couch, overweight and whining about being fat, gaining weight is easy, taking it off is much harder.
    Ps: congrats on your weight loss!! I hope to be there soon one day :-)
  • milyba
    milyba Posts: 49
    Bump
  • KseRz
    KseRz Posts: 980 Member
    I cant control when Ben & Jerrys goes on sale for $3 / pint at Target.

    ^^ Where should that one go? Between the divorce & bereavement or after the sucky job?
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Yeah you all must be in terribly abusive situations to be allowed to be on MFP :laugh:

    But I meant it as motivation. That yeah, life can suck, but there's something you can control, and it's what you eat. Obviously there will always be exceptions, but I don't think they'll be here. And no, it's not always that easy, but maybe if you tell yourself that, it will help... that's all I was trying to say.

    Clearly I suck at motivational speeches too.
  • awomaninsane
    awomaninsane Posts: 75 Member
    No, you don't suck at motivational speeches, what you said made perfect sense. There is nothing and no-one forcing any of us to over eat. Those that have taken exception to your original post need to seriously have a word with themselves.

    I've noticed that on so many of these threads that some people will argue with anyone over the most ridiculous things but i liked and agreed with what you said.
  • angels960
    angels960 Posts: 35 Member
    Clearly I suck at motivational speeches too.
    I agreed with what you said and it was a good post.
  • PeachyFit
    PeachyFit Posts: 13 Member
    I agree with the OP's point. I used to use work stress and project deadlines as excuses not to exercise. I shifted my thinking to make exercise my number one priority every day (barring some kind of family emergency, obviously) over work and everything else. I tell myself that when I'm the most busy/overwhelmed/stressed, that's when I most need to exercise.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Clearly I suck at motivational speeches too.
    I agreed with what you said and it was a good post.

    Thanks to you both!
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
    I just wrapped my Cadillac around a tree. A big swarm of locusts is following me. There's not even anything good on TV. It's just one of those days.

    tumblr_inline_mi8pklhQLN1qz4rgp.gif
  • TeresaB1979
    TeresaB1979 Posts: 158 Member
    Christ on a bike, some people will get narky about anything. :laugh: The woman was basically saying that a lot of things happen in life that we can't control (at no point did she say her examples were of equal importance) but luckily we can choose to take control of what we eat and it can bring us a bit of joy in our lives. Why anyone would jump down her neck for that I have no idea.

    And as for your job making you gain weight- no, eating too much is what makes you gain weight.
  • beckyjeanleemaddox
    beckyjeanleemaddox Posts: 154 Member
    I understood what you were saying and It was inspiring to me. Personally I never was one for making excuses, I knew I got fat, I knew why . I did have one rationale/ excuse that I did for about 15 years. Mine was this, Awww heck I've messed up today .... Imight as well keep eating and Ill start fresh tomorrow. But tomorrow never came until a little over 90 days ago.We do have control over what we eat. But I will say this. It ain't easy, in fact if it was like other vices such as drinking, using drugs you could just stop it but learning to CONTROL what we put in our mouth is hard b/c we can't just stop eating. But people like you who have lost 80 lbs inspire us to carry on!!!! I'm sure while you were on this journey many time you had a good "excuse" to go back to your old ways but obviously you consistently chose to make better choices. Congats on the weight loss!!!! Thanks!!
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    There's a little thing to keep in mind... Life can suck. You lose loved ones, your job is a mess, you have a nasty divorce, your kids drive you nuts, your husband/boyfriend keeps bringing in sweets... It's very easy to use those as excuses. I've done it. I'd wager that most of us have done it.

    But think of it this way... your eating and exercising is THE ONE THING that YOU can control. Everything might fall apart around you, but what you eat and how you exercise is one thing you can control. Don't let it go to waste... and just think of how great you'll feel in 6 months or one year to have succeeded in doing just this one thing for yourself.

    What if it's at a funeral at which your SO (who brought sweets) told you right then that they wanted a divorce, meanwhile your kids are running amok and your boss wants you back to work after the burial?
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
    *eyeroll* try working at a job that doesn't allow lunch or breaks, and forces its employees to work long hours until exhaustion and then tell me I have no excuse. There *are* situations, abusive situations, that people find themselves in where the only variable is the situation NOT them. A nutritionist literally told me my weight gain and inability to lose weight was 100% because of my job, and that I'd lose all of it once I left my job. She was right.

    I'm not the only person I know who has been in an extremely abusive situation in life where their eating and exercising was NOT under their control until they were able to leave the dangerous/abusive situation.

    Jobs are required by law to allow X time for X number of hours worked per shift. If you'd stood up to them and demanded a lunch break, legally they would have had to concede, with no threat to you of losing your job because of it. The fact that you didn't was your choice.

    Guess what else? That job was optional. Nobody was forcing you to remain employed there. So you are STILL always in control. ("But! But! But! It was the only job I could get/nobody else was hiring/excuses excuses, etc etc!", right?) You are always in control. Even people (adults, at least) in abusive situations have the power to leave. There are enough government assistance programs out there that that is a pretty weak-sauce excuse, as well. If you want something badly enough, you can make it happen. Always.


    Between 2002 and 2004, Ariel Castro (1960 – 2013) kidnapped three women and held them prisoner in the Tremont neighborhood of Cleveland, Ohio. Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry, and Georgina "Gina" DeJesus were held against their will in his house on Seymour Avenue until May 6, 2013, when Berry escaped with her six-year-old daughter and contacted the police.[3][4][5][6] Knight and DeJesus were rescued by responding officers and Castro was arrested within hours.

    I don't agree with the abusive situation ....this story speaks of someone who wanted to but it was out of there control...

    lol wut?

    How is being KIDNAPPED the same as being in an abusive relationship?
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
    There's a little thing to keep in mind... Life can suck. You lose loved ones, your job is a mess, you have a nasty divorce, your kids drive you nuts, your husband/boyfriend keeps bringing in sweets... It's very easy to use those as excuses. I've done it. I'd wager that most of us have done it.

    But think of it this way... your eating and exercising is THE ONE THING that YOU can control. Everything might fall apart around you, but what you eat and how you exercise is one thing you can control. Don't let it go to waste... and just think of how great you'll feel in 6 months or one year to have succeeded in doing just this one thing for yourself.

    What if it's at a funeral at which your SO (who brought sweets) told you right then that they wanted a divorce, meanwhile your kids are running amok and your boss wants you back to work after the burial?

    Doesn't matter, you put that food down.
  • TheBrolympus
    TheBrolympus Posts: 586 Member
    There's a little thing to keep in mind... Life can suck. You lose loved ones, your job is a mess, you have a nasty divorce, your kids drive you nuts, your husband/boyfriend keeps bringing in sweets... It's very easy to use those as excuses. I've done it. I'd wager that most of us have done it.

    But think of it this way... your eating and exercising is THE ONE THING that YOU can control. Everything might fall apart around you, but what you eat and how you exercise is one thing you can control. Don't let it go to waste... and just think of how great you'll feel in 6 months or one year to have succeeded in doing just this one thing for yourself.

    What if it's at a funeral at which your SO (who brought sweets) told you right then that they wanted a divorce, meanwhile your kids are running amok and your boss wants you back to work after the burial?

    Eat all the apples.
  • PrincessEliNa
    PrincessEliNa Posts: 524 Member
    Wait OP, you mean I'm responsible for what I eat and I can try and hold onto the small things for a big result when the rest of my life is going to hell?


    2013-04-30-21-12-05.jpg?w=600

    This.
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    You guys are touchy. Maybe she could have presented it better to some, butits the thought that counts. If yall still wanna make excuses go ahead. But man, yall are sensitive.

    QFT

    I agree OP.

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