Eating and Weight, help? (ED recovery)

SeekingFitness
SeekingFitness Posts: 17
in Introduce Yourself
Hello! I am currently attempting to recover from my eating disorder. It is a mix of restrictive eating and binge eating. I know I need to recover because I am getting back into gymnastics which is a large passion in my life and is the only thing that brings me true happiness. I cannot (and WILL NOT) let my eating disorder, take my gymnastics away from me.

I'm not extremely underweight or anything. I am just on the edge of underweight/healthy weight. I have just weighted myself today but I am trying my best to give up the scale. It may seem simple but for me this is an extremely big accomplishment (as not to long ago I was weighing myself every morning, night, before meals, after meals, ect.). I'm trying to eat more, yet still not binge, to gain muscle.

I cannot seem to mentally prepare myself for the journey of gaining weight without have a slight mental breakdown. If any of you could please share words of wisdom, advice, or encouragement it would be HIGHLY appreciated as this is currently a very lonely (and scary) journey for me. Have any of you had an eating disorder? If so how did you recover (mental and physically) from whatever it is you suffered with? Thank you all so much!

(Also, apologies if this is the wrong forum to be posting this in, it seemed to fit into many so I decided just on this one as it seemed the most general.)

Replies

  • emmmmms1997
    emmmmms1997 Posts: 5
    Hi,
    I have had an eating disorder since I was 13 and have been recovering for 2 years, for physical recovery I had to increase my calorie intake - this was absolutely terrifying, I increased 300 at a time until I got to 1200 then I went straight to 2000 then to 2500 to 3000 in order to gain the right amount weight that I required weekly in treatment. This made me have to eat more calorie dense foods like nuts, nut butters, chocolate, ice cream, whole milk. I was scared but it helped me physically recover and these challenges meant the more I ate them, the less I feared them. Working on your relationship with food is important and often requires CBT. Less exercise while gaining, I couldn't exercise
  • SeekingFitness
    SeekingFitness Posts: 17
    Hi,
    I have had an eating disorder since I was 13 and have been recovering for 2 years, for physical recovery I had to increase my calorie intake - this was absolutely terrifying, I increased 300 at a time until I got to 1200 then I went straight to 2000 then to 2500 to 3000 in order to gain the right amount weight that I required weekly in treatment. This made me have to eat more calorie dense foods like nuts, nut butters, chocolate, ice cream, whole milk. I was scared but it helped me physically recover and these challenges meant the more I ate them, the less I feared them. Working on your relationship with food is important and often requires CBT. Less exercise while gaining, I couldn't exercise

    Thank you! I'll define toy try all that, and the calorie dense foods seem like a good idea, though scary, I guess I have to try. I hope your recovery is going amazingly, best of luck!
  • CCSavage88
    CCSavage88 Posts: 191
    I still have issues and fear about foods...the mental battle has never really left me, I just chose to keep going for me. There has been slips and falls but being a healthy person who doesn't obsess over foods is my ultimate goal so I keep pushing. I gained weight and didn't like it so I want to still be in a healthy range but more comfortable, so that's where I'm at now. Focus on foods that are healthy but higher in calorie and just take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if need be. Best of luck to you
  • candyinmyheels
    candyinmyheels Posts: 34 Member
    perhaps you can re-frame the concept, and think of it as "increasing wellness" rather than "gaining weight"...whatever works for you, something positive.
    I found yoga to be AMAZING for making peace with myself, especially for making peace with my body where it is (even if you have goals you want to reach, i think it can be worthwhile to accept where you are right now on the journey). Find a class that includes a lot of breathing or meditation, it can be great. or there are short guided meditations you can find on youtube. Some areas even offer classes specifically for people that have had EDs.
    Perhaps there is a support group near where you live? support via the internet is fantastic, sometimes people respond well to meetings in person too.
    Are you seeing any professionals? Sometimes talking with a therapist can be great. She/he could help you set some realistic goals and check in on how they are working. Or maybe a gymnastics coach?
    I don't know how often you check the scale, I would encourage you to try to resist checking more than once per week. that will help you gauge what the trends are without obsessing over the little fluctuations.
    Best of luck, you can do this. And, of course, hit the boards whenever you need a connection.
  • SeekingFitness
    SeekingFitness Posts: 17
    I still have issues and fear about foods...the mental battle has never really left me, I just chose to keep going for me. There has been slips and falls but being a healthy person who doesn't obsess over foods is my ultimate goal so I keep pushing. I gained weight and didn't like it so I want to still be in a healthy range but more comfortable, so that's where I'm at now. Focus on foods that are healthy but higher in calorie and just take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if need be. Best of luck to you
    Thank you! I hope your recovery is going amazingly! My goal would be to not obsess over food as well, that's gonna be difficult but without hardships there is no improvement!
  • SeekingFitness
    SeekingFitness Posts: 17
    perhaps you can re-frame the concept, and think of it as "increasing wellness" rather than "gaining weight"...whatever works for you, something positive.
    I found yoga to be AMAZING for making peace with myself, especially for making peace with my body where it is (even if you have goals you want to reach, i think it can be worthwhile to accept where you are right now on the journey). Find a class that includes a lot of breathing or meditation, it can be great. or there are short guided meditations you can find on youtube. Some areas even offer classes specifically for people that have had EDs.
    Perhaps there is a support group near where you live? support via the internet is fantastic, sometimes people respond well to meetings in person too.
    Are you seeing any professionals? Sometimes talking with a therapist can be great. She/he could help you set some realistic goals and check in on how they are working. Or maybe a gymnastics coach?
    I don't know how often you check the scale, I would encourage you to try to resist checking more than once per week. that will help you gauge what the trends are without obsessing over the little fluctuations.
    Best of luck, you can do this. And, of course, hit the boards whenever you need a connection.
    I think I'll define toy take that first piece of advice on gaining wellness, I think that's a really great idea. I'm actually not seeing professionals or any doctors since I've never technically be diagnosed with an eating disorder because, well, no one actually know about it. I've always known there's something wrong with my eating and now I'm deciding to do something about it. Even if I'm not diagnosed, I still know 100% that I do have an ED. But with that being said recovery is really lonely and challenging. Thank you so much for all of your amazing advice! It's really helpful!

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