I'm in an abusive relationship.

segastler
segastler Posts: 207 Member
in Motivation and Support
This person always compares me to other girls. Always grabs my baby fat. Always picks and points to the things I am most insecure about. Constantly tells me how fat and unattractive I am. To make matters worse, this person isn't very motivating. Always says how I can't do this exercise, or when I do, how moronic I look. This is suppose to be the person I love most in the world, and they make make me feel like garbage on a daily basis. Why am I not good enough for this person? It hurts.

So I've decided to break up with this person. End this terrible relationship. It's taken years of abuse to finally come to this decision. I'm breaking up with my bad attitude and horrible outlook. The hardest relationship to end is the one with your negative self image.

From this day forward, I vow to be kind to myself. I vow to put on a bathing suit and rock it with pride. I vow to work my butt off, but not feel guilty about a cookie with my son. I earned this body by making a beautiful baby. I will never get rid of the stretch marks and I will never look like I did before, but I am finally going to start listening to my amazing husband and see myself as the beautiful sexy woman he tells me I am. I will continue to work hard, because I want to be in great shape, but it will not come from the abuse of my negativity.

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”

― Audrey Hepburn
«1345

Replies

  • badcemom
    badcemom Posts: 50
    Amen!
  • 160x144
    160x144 Posts: 7
    he sounds like a ****.
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,629 Member
    Yup, it's frowned upon to kill them, so just leave them & don't backpeddle.

    Best of luck to you ..... and stay safe :drinker:
  • roanokejoe49
    roanokejoe49 Posts: 820 Member
    Edited!
  • emelisaperez
    emelisaperez Posts: 10
    I can relate! You are not alone!
  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,067 Member
    alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

    kudos to you, getting rid of that mentality is the toughest thing one can do, im still fighting for it
  • reddz12
    reddz12 Posts: 350 Member
    I loved this.... thank you for posting.. I can absolutely relate.. I've taken the steps but reminding yourself of things like this helps from time to time!Good Luck!
  • ThinLizzie0802
    ThinLizzie0802 Posts: 863 Member
    I think some posters think you are referring to a man, when you are in fact referring to your own negative outlook. You've stated you have a supportive and complimentary husband. Reading comprehension, folks.

    Congrats, and I love your outlook!
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Good. Get OUT of there. No one can make you feel bad without your permission.
  • ucandoitmfp
    ucandoitmfp Posts: 2 Member
    Good point - I don't let others treat me that way but I've never really stopped and thought about the way I talk and behave towards myself. This is a tough one.
  • carfanman
    carfanman Posts: 271 Member
    alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

    Reading comprehension has gone to crap...
  • endermako
    endermako Posts: 785 Member
    alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

    kudos to you, getting rid of that mentality is the toughest thing one can do, im still fighting for it

    ^^^ Yup a lot of people didnt get it. They probably did the TL;DR thing
  • MissSarahAllison315
    MissSarahAllison315 Posts: 263 Member
    Good point - I don't let others treat me that way but I've never really stopped and thought about the way I talk and behave towards myself. This is a tough one.

    AMEN.
  • EmilyJackCO
    EmilyJackCO Posts: 621 Member
    Thank you for a bit of a wake-up call. As someone who spent decades in abusive relationships, I never applied it to the mirror.... how right you are, my dear. You just helped a stranger on a path to healing even more. *hug*
  • sunitar292
    sunitar292 Posts: 77 Member
    Thank you for making my Tuesday! (wipes tear away from eye)
  • DBoone85
    DBoone85 Posts: 916 Member
    Cuz sounds like a total douche. You'll be well shod of him. Next time, when some *kitten* disrespects you, show them the door. You're too cool to take crap from some worthless dude.


    Dude, do you even reading comprehension?
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

    kudos to you, getting rid of that mentality is the toughest thing one can do, im still fighting for it

    ^^^ Yup a lot of people didnt get it. They probably did the TL;DR thing

    Yep this, sorry OP!
  • motivatedmartha
    motivatedmartha Posts: 1,108 Member
    This person always compares me to other girls. Always grabs my baby fat. Always picks and points to the things I am most insecure about. Constantly tells me how fat and unattractive I am. To make matters worse, this person isn't very motivating. Always says how I can't do this exercise, or when I do, how moronic I look. This is suppose to be the person I love most in the world, and they make make me feel like garbage on a daily basis. Why am I not good enough for this person? It hurts.

    So I've decided to break up with this person. End this terrible relationship. It's taken years of abuse to finally come to this decision. I'm breaking up with my bad attitude and horrible outlook. The hardest relationship to end is the one with your negative self image.

    From this day forward, I vow to be kind to myself. I vow to put on a bathing suit and rock it with pride. I vow to work my butt off, but not feel guilty about a cookie with my son. I earned this body by making a beautiful baby. I will never get rid of the stretch marks and I will never look like I did before, but I am finally going to start listening to my amazing husband and see myself as the beautiful sexy woman he tells me I am. I will continue to work hard, because I want to be in great shape, but it will not come from the abuse of my negativity.

    “The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”

    ― Audrey Hepburn

    Most of us are also our own worst enemies - well done for recognising that and for vowing to be kinder to yourself. Yep - listen to your fantastic hubby - your child adores you and wants you to be around a long time, so yes, live healthily, eat sensibly, exercise to keep yourself fit and active and MOST of all enjoy doing stuff with them and enjoy life

    Thank you for the reminder
    :flowerforyou:
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
    Good for you!!! BTW - you look amazing :flowerforyou:

    Admittedly, I too am my own worst critic!! Maybe I need to brake u with me as well!
  • flannery2012
    flannery2012 Posts: 58 Member
    I think some posters think you are referring to a man, when you are in fact referring to your own negative outlook. You've stated you have a supportive and complimentary husband. Reading comprehension, folks.

    Congrats, and I love your outlook!

    I was wondering if I was the only one who heard what OP was really saying.
    Great post--loved it
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    My best advice: DON'T LOOK BACK.

    People really don't change and if you sense they are being nice to you to help "keep" you around.............it's a scam.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Losing_Sarah
    Losing_Sarah Posts: 279 Member
    alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

    kudos to you, getting rid of that mentality is the toughest thing one can do, im still fighting for it

    Yes, I got it because I read the whole post. I wonder if people just read the first paragraph and assumed it was a man.

    OP - Congrats on realizing you need to love yourself! That alone will make you a healthier person! You are awesome and don't forget that!
  • FitCurves444
    FitCurves444 Posts: 169 Member
    Good for you!

    I love a happy ending! :flowerforyou:
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    It's all about learning to forgive yourself... and deciding to settle for what you deserve. THE KEY is to understand that YOU are always a work in progress, the minute you stop moving forward is the minute you start settling for less than you deserve. I would like to contratulate the OP for her insight... I think she definitely has gotten it.. and I think thart is her point.. her "AHA moment.

    I know for me it too was about seeing within me a cycle of abuse... I would go out and drink too much, or eat too much... or something too much.. so that I could sit and loathe myself for days... for weeks... then I would start all over again...

    in fact I think I began a new cycle just like a few days ago... currently pondering taking a week away from work outs and dieting... for what reason? I have no idea.
  • CindyMarcuzAdams
    CindyMarcuzAdams Posts: 4,007 Member
    Well said. I am in the same type of relationship... its time I broke it off.☆★☆★☆
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    Can completely relate to this. I've been being a lot kinder to myself these past few months cause it's sucks hating yourself all the time. I've felt a lot more positive since changing my outlook and I try look for things I like about myself rather than dislike but then I do have the occasional times like today where I feel crappy about myself but trying not to let it get me down.
  • 1princesswarrior
    1princesswarrior Posts: 1,242 Member
    Fantastic post.
  • 867Jen5309
    867Jen5309 Posts: 37 Member
    love it!
  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
    I was JUST writing about this on my feed today. I look back on the number of times I made a joking reference about my "giant *kitten*" or my "big fat belly" and hated myself just a little bit more for it. Yes, I was overweight. But from this vantage point I look back and LOVE myself as I was then. I wasn't any less of a hard worker or loving wife or caring mom a year ago. And if I can love who I was then, I can love myself now even though I'm not where I want to be fitness-wise quite yet.

    And when you love yourself more I think you find a well of caring within yourself that you can share with others more easily.
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
    I got where this was going, but it's still an awesome post! I'm sick of picking at myself, too. If I don't have my back, who will?

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