I'm in an abusive relationship.

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Replies

  • mookieats
    mookieats Posts: 3 Member
    Hi5
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    JBU.....wif yoself
  • crunchergirl
    crunchergirl Posts: 184 Member
    Very well said.
  • rayneface
    rayneface Posts: 219 Member
    Learning to love and respect ourselves can be a challenge - taking a stand like this is a fantastic opportunity to begin the journey of healing. I really enjoyed reading this - we are much too critical of ourselves!
  • MYhealthyjourney70
    MYhealthyjourney70 Posts: 276 Member
    well said... it is definitely time to get rid of the negativity.. thanks for sharing
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    Great post. I am definitely way too hard on myself when I look into the mirror or receive compliments from others.
  • HanamiDango
    HanamiDango Posts: 456 Member
    It is so hard to move forward from negative self thoughts. Every time I try to move forward, I pull myself back. I need to break the cycle and start one of self love, not self hate.
  • mommyrunning
    mommyrunning Posts: 495 Member
    Good for you.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    I think, for me, it's time to make peace with my hate, not necessarily my body. If I can accept I'll have bad days and bad thoughts, but just not give them as much attention when they arise, then I'll be able to accept them better and not have it spiral out of control.
  • _KitKat_
    _KitKat_ Posts: 1,066 Member
    I loved this!!!!

    I also realized many do not read the post, only the title :drinker:
  • stickersticker
    stickersticker Posts: 140 Member
    What's baby fat?
  • Zx14chick
    Zx14chick Posts: 255 Member
    I had to re-read the first paragraph when I got to the part about her loving husband because I, too, had been thinking she was talking about a man. Thank you so much for the reminder. Most of us have a tendency to self-loathe. I need to work harder on finding peace with myself and looking at the better parts of me.
  • mrsh2012
    mrsh2012 Posts: 2
    That's beautiful... You did the right thing getting out and away and putting yourself and your son first. A person that puts you down and verbally/physically abuses does not love you.. and I think after all the time you spent dealing with it... You now see that you are a woman of worth.. A man treats his woman with respect and admiration and sees her beauty beyond her imperfections. And sometimes our imperfections are what make us unique.. and indifferent from others.. I myself am a very self-conscious and unconfident person and I am trying to learn the skills needed to have a better outlook on myself. My husband is very supportive and motivates me.. Listening to your story..I think I have been a little hard on him and I guess I take for granted what a great person he is despite our disagreements and my self esteem issues. Keep your head high and stay strong. Your life sounds like its so positive now. You seem happy and that's all that matters. Good luck n life! :)
  • enjolrasbarricade
    enjolrasbarricade Posts: 28
    You did the right thing even though now you might feel horrible, it's going to pay off in the long run. You are strong and beautiful and if someone says otherwise, the problem lays with them. Life's too short to be surrounded by negative people.
  • redmagpie91
    redmagpie91 Posts: 77 Member
    Wow this really hit home for me today. I have been in abusive relationships with men in the past, and now I'm starting to realize that I am more abusive to myself than anyone else has ever been. This post honestly made me break down in tears. Having a healthier attitude is so hard, but finding peace and loving myself would be an amazing feeling.
  • RobPA1
    RobPA1 Posts: 48 Member
    I bet you feel a lot lighter not carrying around that tool anymore!
  • eaglelakebill
    eaglelakebill Posts: 120 Member
    alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

    kudos to you, getting rid of that mentality is the toughest thing one can do, im still fighting for it

    Thank you now the post makes sense!
    I was completely confused for a moment there.

    Congtatz op.
    You can do it.
    We all can
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    As a masochist, I wish I had more self loathing in my relationship with myself.
  • GabriellaMaria
    GabriellaMaria Posts: 150 Member
    now THERE is a positive and supportive outlook, you really have to love yourself, before you can improve yourself, because youe ARE worth it!!
    what an inspiring and uplifting thing to say.. you go girl, and btw, i think you look pretty cool anyways!!
  • holly1283
    holly1283 Posts: 741 Member
    Good for you. I recommend you save your post to give you a boost when self doubtys might set in. We all need a refresher on our goals. Remember you have losts of support her also. :flowerforyou:
  • _KitKat_
    _KitKat_ Posts: 1,066 Member
    This was such an awesome OP, and people not reading it or worse completely lacking comprehension and then not reading other comments is an eye opener. If you are going to take part in a forum (a place, meeting, or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.) Please at least read the ideas....many people would have gained by reading the OP and coming into a post and not even caring enough to read the original post is just inconsiderate.

    Those that just misunderstood it at first, not you guys......we all scan too quickly while working or what not.....but not reading it at all is just rude.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    This was such an awesome OP, and people not reading it or worse completely lacking comprehension and then not reading other comments is an eye opener. If you are going to take part in a forum (a place, meeting, or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.) Please at least read the ideas....many people would have gained by reading the OP and coming into a post and not even caring enough to read the original post is just inconsiderate.

    Those that just misunderstood it at first, not you guys......we all scan too quickly while working or what not.....but not reading it at all is just rude.

    +1
  • nyboer
    nyboer Posts: 346 Member
    This person always compares me to other girls. Always grabs my baby fat. Always picks and points to the things I am most insecure about. Constantly tells me how fat and unattractive I am. To make matters worse, this person isn't very motivating. Always says how I can't do this exercise, or when I do, how moronic I look. This is suppose to be the person I love most in the world, and they make make me feel like garbage on a daily basis. Why am I not good enough for this person? It hurts.

    So I've decided to break up with this person. End this terrible relationship. It's taken years of abuse to finally come to this decision. I'm breaking up with my bad attitude and horrible outlook. The hardest relationship to end is the one with your negative self image.

    From this day forward, I vow to be kind to myself. I vow to put on a bathing suit and rock it with pride. I vow to work my butt off, but not feel guilty about a cookie with my son. I earned this body by making a beautiful baby. I will never get rid of the stretch marks and I will never look like I did before, but I am finally going to start listening to my amazing husband and see myself as the beautiful sexy woman he tells me I am. I will continue to work hard, because I want to be in great shape, but it will not come from the abuse of my negativity.

    “The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”

    ― Audrey Hepburn

    Amen.
  • pinupgal123
    pinupgal123 Posts: 65
    As hard as it might be at first don't look back. You're a beautiful woman and don't deserve to be treated like anything less. Good luck to you, Hun.
  • Ilikelamps
    Ilikelamps Posts: 482 Member
    i was scared for a minute there..
  • RunnerStephe
    RunnerStephe Posts: 2,195
    Yea, you need someone who loves you inside and out, without judgement. I may suck now, but in the long run you will find happiness you deserve.
  • mkime1965
    mkime1965 Posts: 1
    I just went through a divorce after being married for 15 years and two kids. My ex is physicaly and emotionally abusive. It is the hardest thing I had to do and I have to do co-parenting with him, so I have lost time with my children. You should never have to go through life with someone who treats you badly. For me the re-building is very hard and I have to take one day at a time.
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
    This started in a place where I was ready to get the firing squad/mob going. It ended very positively.

    You have had quite the awakening.

    Go forth and be happy. You worked for it.

    You deserve it.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

    kudos to you, getting rid of that mentality is the toughest thing one can do, im still fighting for it

    I did get that it wasn't her husband, but could not figure out who she was talking about. Mother, sister, not so friendly friend??
  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
    **claps** :flowerforyou: :drinker:

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