Frustrated, jealous, but still happy for my friend...

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kristie874
kristie874 Posts: 774 Member
in Motivation and Support
Okay, I have done this weight loss thing before. I know it's tough. My last post showed what a pound of fat looked like. That was motivating for me as I've only been losing about a pound a week this time around. I bust my butt. I am at the gym 5 days a week. I count my calories. I eat healthy foods...even while my sweetheart is eating a greasy pizza sitting next to me. I started back at this on February 11th and am only at 25 lbs down. <HUMPH>

A friend of mine started commenting about how she is dropping weight left and right a couple of months ago. I congratulated her and asked her what she was doing. She told me that she was just eating less. Hmmm...ok. Then she dropped more. And more. Okay, how is this possible? Her meals frequently included beer, wine, potatoes, tri-tip, she went out to eat a lot... Jealous? Yes. Still happy for her? Yes. She finally confessed to me that she has been receiving weekly B-12 injections and taking an appetite suppressant. I know she wasn't working out (she just started, however, and I'm excited for her!) and I still saw what she was eating and drinking. I love my friend to pieces. But I'm SO FLIPPIN' JEALOUS and FRUSTRATED and TIRED right now! After less than 3 months she's lost 3 sizes! WTH?! I'm down a size-ish in 4.5 months.

I know, I know...slow and steady...but wouldn't you get frustrated with your slow loss if you saw someone just shedding pounds and sizes so quickly!? :(:(:(

Okay, rant over...really, I'm happy for her...I just want to be happy for ME too! :)

Replies

  • jkwolly
    jkwolly Posts: 3,049 Member
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    She's in a bad pattern she probably won't be able to maintain.

    You're doing it the right way, and 25lbs in 5 months is actually quite quickly!
    Keep at tracking and staying in a deficit, you need to be able to continue and not do a fad diet!
  • mrron2u
    mrron2u Posts: 919 Member
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    I agree with the Previous poster. You are making lasting changes that are much healthier. You can look back and say you did what you did with hard work and sheer will power! You will always appreciate that and will make it last forever! Keep up the great work!
  • notamoment
    notamoment Posts: 190 Member
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    I agree with the Previous poster. You are making lasting changes that are much healthier. You can look back and say you did what you did with hard work and sheer will power! You will always appreciate that and will make it last forever! Keep up the great work!

    Qft
  • cdcooper321
    cdcooper321 Posts: 157 Member
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    You wont be jealous in a few months when she stops her pills and you are still losing weight. Those who use pills to lose weight and don't put fourth any effort WILL gain it right back. Because you havent changed your habits that got you overweight to begin with. Now, don't get me wrong..pills can be a great MOTIVATOR to get ya going, when combined with diet and exercise...but if you let the pills do all the work...you're gonna gain it back. Keep doing what you're doing girl. 25lbs in 4.5 months is amazing! WTG!
  • disneygallagirl
    disneygallagirl Posts: 515 Member
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    I think you are doing it right and the change can be sustained - isn't that the ultimate goal? Also I think what you have lost is awesome!
    I had a good friend who went on the Berstein diet - lost 60 lbs - looked great but as soon as she was "done" i.e. stopped get the B12 shots etc - she has gained it all back and more.
  • VanderTuig1976
    VanderTuig1976 Posts: 145 Member
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    First of all, congratulations on your weight loss!!! 25 lbs. in five months is great! As far as your mixed feelings about your friend's weight loss are concerned, I feel your pain. Like you, I have been trying to lose the correct way (diet and exercise) and have a few friends who use Isagenix and are dropping weight like crazy. Every day they post some new weight loss post on FB and it makes me really angry! The only logical explanation behind my feelings (and possibly yours) is that it's tough work to lose weight correctly and then to have someone tout their weight loss that wasn't achieved thru hard work is a total kick in the pants.

    For what it's worth, I remind myself that, 1.) I'm not wasting my money on expensive diet products (although I pay plenty to work with a personal trainer!), 2.) I can sustain my weight loss because I've made permanent lifestyle changes that don't revolve around the use of diet products, 3.) I am strong and lean - my friends are skinny fat, and 4.) unless they plan to take Isa for life, one day there will be a reckoning (evil laughs)! For those reasons, I continue on the path I'm taking. Good luck to you!!!!
  • Phanntom
    Phanntom Posts: 28 Member
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    No I wouldn't. Taking it off that fast likely means at some point in the not to distant future she's going to put it all back on, just as fast. Yeah, you're having to work harder now to accomplish you goal but in the end, yours is more likely to actually translate into a lifestyle change that will serve you well over a long haul when you do finally get it off and hit your maintenance mode.

    In truth....it's your life, your plan and your weight loss, try to focus on yours and don't waste a lot of energy envying hers.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    If your friend is still eating for today as if it's her last day on earth, trust me - any loss she has will be short lived. She will gain it all back. At some point she isn't going to be able to (either that or she won't be willing to) continue to afford the B12 injections and/or the appetite suppressant, and BOOM.

    She has to modify her behavior if she wants any hope of prolonged success. Those who do not learn from their behavior are doomed to repeat it.

    You're learning. The more you lose, the better off you'll be, and the longer it'll stay off.

    Don't let her short lived success bug you. It is just that - short lived.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
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    Focus on yourself; on your own goals and health. 1 lb a week is just about ideal. As you get closer to your goal weight, 0.5 lbs a week will be more realistic. If she is really losing as fast as you (or rather, she) say(s), then she's doing it in a very unhealthy way, is likely losing a fair amount of lean mass and is unlikely to be able to sustain her weight loss. What's going to happen when she stops taking an appetite suppressant, for example?

    You're doing it right. Weight loss is a slow, tedious, frustrating process. There's no real way around that other than accepting it and letting it take the time it needs to. It's actually a good thing, because you can take the time to learn the skills you need to maintain the weight loss. The losing weight part is really only the first phase of a life-long process of maintaining a healthy weight. Far better that you're doing it in a sustainable way from the beginning.
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
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    Just concentrate on yourself and your journey. You are losing at a healthy rate. As soon as she stops the diet pills, chanes are she will gain her weight back because she has not learned to eat properly. Diet pills suck, it is exactly the same thing as speed. I dont understand who would do that to themselves.
  • kristie874
    kristie874 Posts: 774 Member
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    Thanks, all, for the support. I really just needed to vent and let that out. I know this is a long term goal that will lead to long term success. Every now and than I have an, "I WANNA BE FIT NOWWWW!" tantrum... This was one of them. :) I love MFP for allowing me to share and for being supportive when I do. :):flowerforyou:
  • KHal11715
    KHal11715 Posts: 31 Member
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    I am in the SAME boat as you. My friend lost a ton of weight doing the HCG diet (where you eat 500 calories a day for like three weeks- while taking HCG either by drops or injections and then slowly start to introduce food back in). I just recently have been hanging out with her and I am super jealous! I decided to turn my jealousy into motivation. Every time I want to snack on something not so healthy or not do my scheduled workout, I think of how much weight she has lost and how eating healthy, staying on track, and working out will eventually help me to get there. The one main difference being when I do get there, I will be healthy, strong, and have adopted a healthy lifestyle that I will be able to maintain. Hang in there, good things come to those who work hard!
  • mrsjas2000
    mrsjas2000 Posts: 908 Member
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    I had to get b-12 shots 3 times a week, I don't know how they help her they didn't help me with weight loss,it did help get my blood back up to where it should be
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
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    Good post
  • missomgitsica
    missomgitsica Posts: 496 Member
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    Don't be jealous. In 6 months she'll have gaind everything back and then some.
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
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    So is she eating less or more since the appetite suppressant? I'm confuzzled....
  • stuart160
    stuart160 Posts: 1,628 Member
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    She won't sustain because she isn't changing her habits
  • hzliiz
    hzliiz Posts: 166 Member
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    Don't be jealous. Feel sorry for her because what she's doing probably will not accomplish what she's hoping it will in the long run. I tried that those pills too, among all the other desperate quick fixes I tried. Yes I lost weight quickly. Then when I stopped taking them because of the horrible way they made me feel, I quickly gained it all back plus a few extra pounds.

    I'm fit and at a healthy weight now and those pills were not part of what got me there, they were just another misfire on my way to figuring out that what works is to eat fewer calories than I burn and to improve my shape by working out in order to build muscle.

    Keep at it, one foot in front of the other, one day after another. You will meet your goals that way!

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