Gaining weight is so hard

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Replies

  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Avocados, nuts, peanut butter, pesto, olive oil, sesame oil...these are all things that you can add to whatever you want to increase your calories. One of my best girlfriends from high school has always had this problem. She is just naturally and effortlessly thin even after having 2 children.
  • jimmmer
    jimmmer Posts: 3,515 Member
    Gaining weight isn't hard. You just eat more (or more calorie dense foods).

    Gaining quality weight (i.e. lbm) is the trick. That requires hard work, dedication and consistency in your training paired with adequate calories.

    But your problem is just not eating enough and having a list of taboo items...
  • rodduz
    rodduz Posts: 251 Member
    Gaining weight is so hard and frustrating. Add to it that I get zero sympathy from any one and always the same comments, "Eat more" or "I wish I had your problem"
    I'm 55, 5'2" and weigh 98 pds. I have never weighed over 110 except when I was pregnant and then I got up to 128.
    I quit smoking finally 5 weeks ago, and even that hasn't helped.
    I do have an ulcer and GERD so that makes it harder. But we have completely changed our diet in the house, so a lot of foods are out.
    We don't eat any foods that come out of a box or a can. No fried foods ever. No hot dogs, hamburger or for the majority, no pork.
    So my problem is to even get 1,700 calories a day and I want to have at least 2,000.
    Example:Breakfast was a bowl of cheerios, small banana, 8 oz of Kefir
    lunch: Peanut butter sandwich with strawberry jam and a bottle of ensure
    supper last night, grilled salmon with garlic, 2 servings of beets and a glass of water with a fresh lemon squeezed into it.
    Sometimes I will have some strawberries before bed or a splurge of a ice creme bar.
    We also walk 20 mins a day.
    How and what do I eat that is healthy and yet gain weight?
    So very frustrated.

    No wonder if that's all you're eating. What you expect people to say, of course they're going to say eat more. You have nothing out of a box? Last time I checked I'm pretty sure Cheerios came in a box!

    Your relationship with food is completely wrong if you ask me.

    Eat more!

    Have more cheerios, have more peanut butter sandwiches. Eat handfuls of nuts! Have full fat milk with instant oats and whey protein in the shake and a spoonful of olive oil. Then come and tell me you can't put weight on.
  • CCKoepp
    CCKoepp Posts: 15
    I totally understand your problem. I'm 5'4", weigh 96 pounds and I'm trying to get my weight back up to the 115 it was at before I developed food allergies.

    "Eat more!" and "I wish I had your problem" are not helpful. I eat like a big pig, thanks, but that doesn't seem to help much. I recently figured out (with the help of calorie counting software on my iPad) that my calorie count ranged from 600-2000 per day. O.o I'm eating the wrong things, apparently.

    I tell those who "wish they had my problem" that they can voluntarily go on my diet restrictions ... and as soon as they see 'em, that puts an end to that.

    A pal pointed me in the direction of "fat bombs" ... combinations of coconut oil, peanut butter, fruit, and/or nuts. High calories in a small bit of stuff. I also found that monster-sized smoothies (like frozen blueberries, orange juice, coconut flakes, nuts ... swirlied around in a blender until it's goop ... amounts to about 32-40 fluid ounces) help a bunch with getting the calorie count up. Now, if I could eat those every day...

    Back to the drawing board!
  • Lib_B
    Lib_B Posts: 446 Member
    echo what others are saying - add some healthy fats - i.e. avocado. If you can do nuts (although with ulcers, perhaps not) great way to get extra cals. Sweet potatoes or heck white potatoes. Maybe a baked potato with dinner with some sour cream & full fat butter? if i were trying to gain weight, i'd probably bring back in all the white food i eliminated. pasta salad as a side. just add a little on at each meal. maybe have a boiled egg as a snack? lots of ways to get those cals in. i managed for a lot of years and i ballooned up. :wink: eating at chipotle once a week wouldn't hurt either. rice, beans, chicken, sour cream. you'll pack it on. worked for me. :smile:
  • rodduz
    rodduz Posts: 251 Member
    I totally understand your problem. I'm 5'4", weigh 96 pounds and I'm trying to get my weight back up to the 115 it was at before I developed food allergies.

    "Eat more!" and "I wish I had your problem" are not helpful. I eat like a big pig, thanks, but that doesn't seem to help much. I recently figured out (with the help of calorie counting software on my iPad) that my calorie count ranged from 600-2000 per day. O.o I'm eating the wrong things, apparently.

    I tell those who "wish they had my problem" that they can voluntarily go on my diet restrictions ... and as soon as they see 'em, that puts an end to that.

    A pal pointed me in the direction of "fat bombs" ... combinations of coconut oil, peanut butter, fruit, and/or nuts. High calories in a small bit of stuff. I also found that monster-sized smoothies (like frozen blueberries, orange juice, coconut flakes, nuts ... swirlied around in a blender until it's goop ... amounts to about 32-40 fluid ounces) help a bunch with getting the calorie count up. Now, if I could eat those every day...

    Back to the drawing board!

    Just done some quick calculations and you should be eating a minimum of 1500 calories per day to be gaining weight. I bet if you opened up your diary you are not eating that much, therefore how do you expect to gain weight?
  • You need fats- low fat is the worst thing to happen to this country and trying to gain weight on low fat is a chore.

    This could not be any more true. The low-fat fad has not done anything to help the American diet. Protein, Carbs (shhhh paleos ;)), and fats all serve a vital role. Even saturated fats such as stearic acid have their roles to play. Please, please, don't cut out fats because they sound bad.
  • CCKoepp
    CCKoepp Posts: 15
    Rodduz:

    Yes, I started tracking calories/day on my iPad ... and that's when I discovered my current menu ranged 600-2000 cal/day. I was much surprised that the day that was 600 calories was a day on which I ate a whole /bunch/ of stuff... just none of it had much for calories. I'm rebuilding menus today to get closer to 1800/day consistently. Hard to do with the allergies I'm working around, but I can do this! :)
  • jimmmer
    jimmmer Posts: 3,515 Member
    Rodduz:

    Yes, I started tracking calories/day on my iPad ... and that's when I discovered my current menu ranged 600-2000 cal/day. I was much surprised that the day that was 600 calories was a day on which I ate a whole /bunch/ of stuff... just none of it had much for calories. I'm rebuilding menus today to get closer to 1800/day consistently. Hard to do with the allergies I'm working around, but I can do this! :)

    ^this is the right attitude.

    Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity. It's been a tough day...
  • 0somuchbetter0
    0somuchbetter0 Posts: 1,335 Member
    That meal was just last nights meal, but pretty typical.
    The day before breakfast and lunch was the same but dinner was grilled chicken, (extra virgin olive oil), baked potato (loaded with butter, my vice) and roasted broccoli with garlic.
    I did have some strawberry shortcake smothered in whipped creme.
    I don't eat hamburger unless it's grilled because it really upsets my stomach along with causing a bit of stomach pain. I can't tolerate the grease.
    I'm going to try adding a milkshake every night and add some kind of fruit.
    Avocados, nasty nasty taste. lol
    Thanks everyone

    Too bad you don't like avocados -- I love them! Have you ever tried with lots of salt?
  • SilentDrapeRunners
    SilentDrapeRunners Posts: 199 Member
    I managed to get up to 365lbs just by accident!! I guess I'm just gifted.

    completely unhelpful.

    Purposeful gaining of weight and muscle is difficult. It's significantly more difficult than losing weight.
    ======================================================================================


    OP- find foods you eat- and eat more of them. Any high calorie- "empty" foods- (these foods usually are labelled 'junk') are great options.

    peanut butter, ice cream- milk- chips- pasta.
    nuts- butter and oil to everything- bacon- eggs- milk- reeses- peanut butter and jelly- cheesecake in your smoothies.


    My question about the burger upsetting your stomach- have you been eating a low fat diet mostly? Because often times that's what happens- people eat a low fat diet- go for one burger- get sick and swear off burgers because they are unhealthy- and the reality is their gut just adjusted to a low fat diet and the extra fat threw the balance out. If that's the case- you can rebalence by adding more fat in slowly.

    Yes, completely unhelpful (the people who said gaining weight is easy and comes naturally). What Jo said is helpful.

    To those who said gaining is easy, I know this may come as a shocker, but what's easy for you isn't easy for everyone. Gaining weight is difficult for me, but losing is easier. So do I walk around telling everyone that losing weight is easy (all you have to do is eat less). No! Because I'm cognizant of the fact that everything in life is easy for some people and difficult for others.

    OP- I see you have ulcers and other medical conditions. I'm not sure what specific type of diet you need to be on for those conditions, but if you are able to, try and eat foods from all the macronutrient groups (as others have said). If you have to exclude certain foods, just rule out those foods which affect you negatively, but don't rule out fats completely (unless you really do have to be on a low-fat diet). I think it's good that you're trying to gain weight, because the health detriments of being underweight are usually not discussed, but being underweight can in fact be unhealthy. Of course, just like being overweight, it depends on the person as to how detrimental it is.
  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
    Obviously what everyone's saying is right: There's absolutely no reason anyone should be limiting fats.

    But outside of that, I used to be a hardgainer in my younger days, and overcame it by eating mountains of pasta in addition to my regular meals. You can save a lot of time this way:

    1) Cook up pasta. A lot of it. Pounds and pounds of it.
    2) As soon as it's cooked, run cold water through it to cool it all off.
    3) Place it in individual ziploc bags - each one should be about 1 meal's worth. Refrigerate it all.
    4) When you want to eat one (at least 1 per day), just dump the cold noodles into boiling water for 30 seconds, and it's ready.

    This is actually how many restaurants make their spaghetti -- they cook it all in the morning and boil the refrigerated noodles as needed. Refrigerated spaghetti keeps for about a week before it gets mushy.

    I'm a huge fan of cooking a lot of things at once and heating them up as needed, even now that I'm not trying to gain.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    OP, the thing that helped me the most was working on re-defining my definition of "healthy." As women especially, the message that gets pounded into our heads is that healthy = low-calorie or low-fat. If you're a little more educated about nutrition, it's that healthy = low-calorie, low-fat and nutrient-dense, but low-calorie is still part of that stupid equation.

    If you need to gain weight, that formula is 100% wrong.

    If you need to gain weight, the healthiest choice you can make is one that gets you to meet your calorie goal.

    Yes, it's important to choose nutrient-dense foods for overall health, but at the end of the day if you're low on calories, it's better to choose ice cream AND strawberries. If you're low on calories, the ice cream isn't a splurge -- it's a necessity.
  • martinel2099
    martinel2099 Posts: 899 Member
    You came to the right place OP. Some people tend to forget that fitness pal isn't just about losing weight but also helping those who need to gain weight. I'm personally battling to lose weight, but that doesn't make my battle any better than someone who is battling to gain weight.

    Posters here had some great advice make sure you keep it up+++ While you are eating at a calorie surplus consider heavy lifting to build some muscle, you'll love how you look and feel.
  • kynsie2
    kynsie2 Posts: 35 Member
    Thank you
  • lakilucid
    lakilucid Posts: 36
    im having the same issues... im 22 years old, 5'5 and 96 lbs. im trying to get to 120. the most i weighed was during my pregnancy at a "whopping" 125 lbs. i felt so healthy then and as soon as my DD was born i went instantly and i mean literally as soon as she was lifted from my uterus to 96 lbs and havent been able to gain weight since... in fact i LOST half a pound. im so devastated... i have tried EVERYTHING and to no avail... doesnt help im constantly on the go chasing a toddler either...
  • jimmmer
    jimmmer Posts: 3,515 Member
    i have tried EVERYTHING and to no avail... doesnt help im constantly on the go chasing a toddler either...

    Have you tried eating an extra 500 calories a day? Do that for 2 weeks. Weigh yourself.

    If scale hasn't gone up, add another 200 cals a day. Repeat until you start gaining weight.

    If you haven't tried this - you haven't tried everything yet!

    Calorie dense foods (many have already been mentioned in this thread) are the way to go. Don't try to eat loads of steamed brocolli and grilled chicken breast - get some fatty cuts of meat, pasta, creamy sauces, etc.
  • silencioesoro
    silencioesoro Posts: 318 Member
    With an ulcer and GERD, it definitely is hard to "Eat more" without triggering either stomach issues. Do try to add snacks, they could be peanut butter sandwiches on whole grain bread.

    I applaud you for trying to do it in a healthy way, one of my f riends just ate what I ate - just more of it on top of protien shakes that had peanutbutter added. It's the little things that might help.
  • kynsie2
    kynsie2 Posts: 35 Member
    silencioesoro
    Very much so. Sometimes I have that gnawing in my stomach or outright pain and I can't handle much food. Sometimes eating makes me nauseous.
    And it doesn't take much to fill me up.
    I do eat fats, but natural fats no extra garbage fats like in chips and such.
    To the other issue, yes Cheerios come in a box, I meant food like mac n cheese, crap food I won't eat.
    Jam in a jar, we eat polaner, all natural.
    And I eat steak once a week, it's grilled or broiled.
    Thanks for the reply Silenciesoro
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    Kynsie- I had an ulcer and GERD from a hiatal hernia. Are you on prilosec or Nexium for it? Altho I had to be careful not to overeat on fried foods, or spicy foods, I had no problem gaining weight.

    It sounds like you have a mental block about eating enough to gain weight. You say you want to gain, but have a long list of junk foods that you won't eat. What is wrong with Mac and Cheese? If it is the Kraft in a box that you have a problem with, then just make your own with pasta, cheese, butter, cream, etc.
    There are many 'healthy' foods that will put weight on you, but you have to eat them.

    When you talk about getting 'full' quickly, that sounds like the young girls that are eating 600 a day and can't eat anymore because they are 'stuffed'. With the small amount of food you are eating, you should never feel so full that you can't eat any more. Again, this sounds like more of a mental block.

    I am not a volume eater much myself, but am instead a 'grazer'. I could eat 200 cals every hour or so, thruout the day, and end up way over my calorie level quite easily, while never having a 'full meal'.
    When you plan your meals, make sure you get at least 50 grams of protein and 35 grams of healthy fats in your diet.
    Eat your protein and fats before you fill up on steamed veggies. Add olive oil or coconut oil to your veggies and other foods.

    Pasta and breads add weight to me quite easily, so I tend to stay away from them. But for you, they would be a great way to increase your calories. I would kill for some chicken alfredo, or chicken parmesan some days! lol. Make them yourself with your own ingredients. And enjoy some garlic bread with butter and cheese melted on it with your pasta.

    But seriously, unless you have an extremely active job, or are exercising excessively, there really is no reason that you can't eat enough food to gain a little weight. You just need to get past your mental block of doing so. :flowerforyou:
  • monikker
    monikker Posts: 322 Member
    Ok so a lot of people on here are saying eat more fat, which is great and true - lots of healthy fats are out there and they make for easy calories. Olive oil, coconut oil, butter, cheese, flax seeds, (add to shakes, salads, etc), meats, nuts.

    But what you really need as much or more are CARBS! High-quality carbs. Are you using your food diary? Mine spells out for me exactly how many fats, proteins, carbs, etc I need to meet my goal. Getting enough carbs but not too much sugar has been one of the hardest ones to get right every day. Fats are pretty easy. But carbs...load up on carbs. Your example meals didn't include a lot of carbs. Get a whole grain pasta - just one serving gives you like 41 grams of carbs. That's great! I love brown rice and make a couple cups at a time. You don't even have to eat plates and plates of it to get good calories and carbs - all without very much sugar! It's brilliant. Some sugar is good...fruits...I aim for carbs that are not more than about 10 grams of sugar at one time. If you loaded up on cokes & desserts, you'd get all the carbs you need but they wouldn't be good for your body. So be smart about it, get lots of carb foods that have low sugar (bread, rice, pasta) and then supplement that with other high carbs food with SOME sugar (fruit, energy gels, etc). Use supplements to your advantage -- meal bars, energy gels, etc. They can be quick and easy to eat and give you the extra carbs, proteins and fats you need.

    If you still want to eat what most people would think is weight loss food, like salad, just add avocado, olive oil, flax seeds, nuts to the top - and for carbs, you can make some quinoa (cooks fast) and add on top or have rice/quinoa on the side. So there your additives are really the bulk of the calories, fats, and carbs here that you wouldn't have gotten with just the vegetables and you avoid the unhealthy dressings.

    Lastly, make sure you use this great tool on here - the food diary etc. Download the MyFitnessPal app to your phone, it's free. It's even easier to add foods you just ate to your diary because when you go to add a food on the phone app, it actually lets you scan the barcode on the foods you eat (on the boxes, wrappers, etc - they almost all have a barcode). When you scan, the nutrition info comes up on the phone and you just add that to your diary. Super easy and awesome! Then just skim over the calories and different nutrients you've eaten throughout the day to see what you have left to consume for the day.
  • monikker
    monikker Posts: 322 Member
    Also, what helps me is to break up my meals and snacks into 6-8 meals/snacks throughout the day instead of 3 or 4 bigger ones. Your example only had three meals. My meals/snacks are usually around 200-400 calories each. Just like you my goal is about 2000 calories. It's a lot easier when I eat less at one time - I don't feel stuffed to the point where I want to throw up. I don't have to eat a HUGE plate of pasta in one sitting. I'll eat a sandwich and chips for lunch - a shake with soymilk, fruit, and meal replacement powders for breakfast - maybe a protein bar for another snack - meat and carbs for dinner - another shake after dinner - you know, pace yourself throughout the day with steady calories every two hours or so. It's working for me so far.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Ok so a lot of people on here are saying eat more fat, which is great and true - lots of healthy fats are out there and they make for easy calories. Olive oil, coconut oil, butter, cheese, flax seeds, (add to shakes, salads, etc), meats, nuts. 

    But what you really need as much or more are CARBS! High-quality carbs. 

    Um. We all said that because the OP specifically said they were eating low fat.
  • Janlo26
    Janlo26 Posts: 30 Member
    Just skimmed through the posts and did not see anything about your excercise routine, if any. You and I have the same challenge, it seems. What worked for me was adding healthy calories to my diet AND creating a resistance training (a.k.a. weight training) program for myself. When I work out with weights for about 45 minutes 3 days a week I feel hungry enough to eat the calories that keep me at my goal weight. You could also just use body weight or learn to use resistance bands, etc.

    IMHO women of a certain age in our culture generally lack the muscle bulk we need to be truly healthy. I don't mean bulk like body builder, just nice rounded limbs and good strong back and core body.

    Like some OP I do my best to eat 5 small meals over the day. I do use a vegan protein powder (whey protein upsets my stomach) because I just cannot eat enough of other proteins to balance my calories.

    You could check out a web site called "Muscle and Strength" which I found has loads of verifiable info on both the diet and excercise aspects of gaining muscle.

    All the best!
  • monikker
    monikker Posts: 322 Member
    My bad. Lol she definitely won't gain weight on a low-fat, low-carb diet.
  • silencioesoro
    silencioesoro Posts: 318 Member
    Kynsie - I do understand GERD and Ulcers. I have GERD, and possible gallbladder inflammation right now. It's not so much fun to eat, or try to eat, when stomachs act up.
  • lakilucid
    lakilucid Posts: 36
    unfortunately due to a very fast metabolism that didnt work either, tried it in the past. i have literally tried to do everything people who have extra weight do and to no avail
  • Rainboots80
    Rainboots80 Posts: 218 Member
    Gaining weight is so hard and frustrating. Add to it that I get zero sympathy from any one and always the same comments, "Eat more" or "I wish I had your problem"
    I'm 55, 5'2" and weigh 98 pds. I have never weighed over 110 except when I was pregnant and then I got up to 128.
    I quit smoking finally 5 weeks ago, and even that hasn't helped.
    I do have an ulcer and GERD so that makes it harder. But we have completely changed our diet in the house, so a lot of foods are out.
    We don't eat any foods that come out of a box or a can. No fried foods ever. No hot dogs, hamburger or for the majority, no pork.
    So my problem is to even get 1,700 calories a day and I want to have at least 2,000.
    Example:Breakfast was a bowl of cheerios, small banana, 8 oz of Kefir
    lunch: Peanut butter sandwich with strawberry jam and a bottle of ensure
    supper last night, grilled salmon with garlic, 2 servings of beets and a glass of water with a fresh lemon squeezed into it.
    Sometimes I will have some strawberries before bed or a splurge of a ice creme bar.
    We also walk 20 mins a day.
    How and what do I eat that is healthy and yet gain weight?
    So very frustrated.

    Where do you get Cheerios that don't come out of a box?
  • baskinarnita
    baskinarnita Posts: 3 Member
    Daily, whole milk, breads and grains, protein (chicken, powders, ...). Just like gaining weight, our genetics play a part. ensure is in a container so that is technically a can. They gave it to my dad to help him gain weight in the care facility because he was not getting enough nutrients through other foods.
  • thyella
    thyella Posts: 21 Member
    Do you like ice cream? When my mother lost a lot of weight (hers was thru chemo) the pharmacist recommended ice cream, good brands like Breyers. He said it was the most concentrated caloric natural food there was.