My boyfriend needs to gain some weight!

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amwood89
amwood89 Posts: 165 Member
in Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
Hi All,

So I wouldn't usually post on here about my partner, but really not sure where to get the info I need!

I've been into fitness for a number of years now & have a few lb to go before I hit my target. It's been tough, but my partner has been my rock throughout! He has helped & supported me through the good & the bad & is so encouraging! When I’ve felt like giving up, he’s always given me the push I’ve needed & the motivation to get my workout done. So about 18 months ago, he decided that to enable him to support me even further, he was going to get fit & improve his diet too. He’s been very lucky throughout his life & has always been slim, although his diet was pretty horrific before we lived together – he’s one of those annoying people who can eat what ever they like & don’t seem to gain any weight!! He’s also never stepped foot in a gym & never worked out in his life.

He took up running with me & recently has been doing T25 as this is the newest programme I’ve started to do at home. He weighed himself last night & in the past 18 months, he has lost 15lb. His stats are:

SW: 161lb
CW: 146lb (the same weight as me!!)
Height: 5ft 10
Age: 37

I took a picture of him last night & compared it to one from this time last year & the difference is shocking. He said to me ‘do you not think I’m getting too skinny?!’ I answered honestly & said how proud of him I was for dramatically changing his lifestyle & how impressive his commitment was to improving his fitness – which he has massively! But did say that could do with gaining a few lbs.

He said that he agreed & that he now wants to focus on his strength & gaining muscle & asked me what he should be doing. That’s where I’m stuck – I don’t have a clue, other than cutting down the cardio & start lifting. He has helped me so much & now I feel that it’s my turn to help him & point him in the right direction so he can get to where he would like to be.

I lift myself & have followed New Rules of Lifting for women, along with cardio (T25) – but I have no idea what my boyfriend should be doing.

He has already said that he would prefer not to join the gym & would like to work out at home if possible. Does anyone have suggested programmes that he could follow at home? Any websites he could get more information from? YouTube videos he could follow? What kind of equipment would he need if he was to work out at home? Or would he get the best results from joining a gym?

In terms of his diet, it’s pretty good (in my opinion) & we both eat fairly clean - in fact i'd say his diet is cleaner than mine.

I do all the cooking at home, so my partner eats exactly the same as I do. I give him larger portions & I prepare him lots of food to take to work for his 12 hour shifts. A typical day for him would be:

Breakfast – 3 eggs scrambled on wholemeal toast / porridge with berries / Protein shake with oats
Snack – A handful of almonds & some type of mixed fruit salad
Lunch 1 – Grilled chicken with brown rice / whole wheat couscous / quinoa
Lunch 2 – Tuna & avocado wrap / Turkey or Chicken salad wrap
Snack – any other fruit he has taken with him for that day / Greek yogurt with honey
Post workout shake
Dinner – Usually lean meat 5 x a week, 1 x oily fish (such as Salmon), 1 x white fish with veggies & sweet potato wedges / rice / new potatoes etc.

I have encouraged him to join MFP so he can log his calorie intake but he is yet to do so. I have calculated using the IIFYM calculator that he needs to be eating around 2566 a day – does that sound about right?

If anyone can offer any suggestions it would be much appreciated.

Thank you :)
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Replies

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Peanut butter.... Cheese... Nuts.... Avocado.... Boiled eggs.... Beef jerky.... Pop tarts...... Ice cream.... Full fat milk
  • amwood89
    amwood89 Posts: 165 Member
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    Peanut butter.... Cheese... Nuts.... Avocado.... Boiled eggs.... Beef jerky.... Pop tarts...... Ice cream.... Full fat milk

    Thanks! Ahh yeah, full fat milk! He just uses skimmed because that's what I have. Simple swap but didn't even think of that! Will make sure I buy some full fat for him. Ta!
  • jcranston13
    jcranston13 Posts: 35
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    He can gain some muscle mass at home doing convict conditioning or something of the like. I would say that the "best" as in maximal gains would come from utilizing a gym/barbell equipment. If he is only trying to gain a few pounds, body weight/dumbbell exercises could very likely get him to where he wants to be.

    Hopefully someone will chime in with good home routines that don't require a lot of equipment.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    First- he needs to do his own research.

    Secondly- you can build strength via body weight training- ask waldo.

    Thirdly- check the following
    Waldo's site on strengthunbound.com
    You are your own gym
    convict conditioning

    Fourth- gaining muscles is two things- progressive loading- and a consistent regulated calorie surplus.
  • shakeatailfeather
    shakeatailfeather Posts: 7
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    Hi,
    I have had problems putting on weight all my life and have recently started (aged 53) to try and gain some solid weight. I weighed 10st 4lb at 5'9" and have put on about 3lbs a week for the last three weeks. I have eaten whatever I fancy including high fat foods and have supplemented with protein shakes made with full fat milk, some porridge oats (between 50-100g) smashed up small in a blender before adding the milk, a banana, handful of strawberries and blueberries and protein powder. The shake sits around 1000 calories, I can hardly ever, ever eat that much 'proper' food in a sitting. My cal intake is between 3000-3500 on average.
    I have also started 'Starting strength' which is basically 3 compound exercises done three times a week. Although it is better to use a barbell and other gym equipment, I have started with dumbbells at home and have already seen my shape change and muscle appear. Maybe a cut back on the cardio for a bit and try a program similar to this and eat/shake/munch?
    My diet is not great, however my priority is weight and size and i will refine later.
  • katematt313
    katematt313 Posts: 624 Member
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    Fat plus carbs at EVERY meal. Make sure he gets enough protein in during the day.


    My husband and daughter are both naturally thin, hard gainers. This is what we have to do to maintain his weight and muscle tone and keep her in normal weight range as she grows.

    I **wish** I had this problem!! It has actually been part of my learning curve to make sure that I don't eat the same way that they eat, or else I will gain. So, while they eat the standard protein, carb, veggie, with some fat meals, I make sure that I nix the carb and double the veggies.
  • itsbasschick
    itsbasschick Posts: 1,584 Member
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    avocado - full of "good" fats. tasty when mixed with yogurt, pepper and dill and a hint of light italian dressing. then you can dip chips in or just stick a spoon in it.

    oats. not fatty, but good for ya and if you make them with milk or a protein shake mixed in, a nice dose of protein, as well,, which is good for building muscle. if he's losing weight, give him bigger servings.

    bread (whole grain), bagels, pasta - all lots of complex carbs, so will last for a long run or walk or through a workout. bodybuilders eat tons of complex carbs and proteins.
  • amwood89
    amwood89 Posts: 165 Member
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    Thank you for all your suggestions so far :) he is doing research & reading up online, but thought I would post here to see if I could get any suggestions as there are a lot of knowledgable people on this site!

    Just been to the butchers & bought lots of chicken & steak.

    Think packing plenty of calories into shakes will be a good place to start as he does struggle to eat large meals.

    Thanks again to all of your advice.
  • SonyaCele
    SonyaCele Posts: 2,841 Member
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    i'm dealing with he same thing, my BF is 6'2", and Starting weight when we hooked up was 153, he was scary looking, So i got him Mass Gainer Shake Powder and he loves it and he drinks two large shakes a day , in addition to all the extra food i give him. Basically the same healthy diet i'm eating, only more of it, as much as he can eat. and mayo and butter and bacon etc. And i try to get him to limit his activity level, but that's not possible. He's put on 25 lbs, but that's been a struggle. Some guys are just not made to gain weight. I have him lifting weights too, to build muscle so he's not just putting on fat. He needs another 25 pounds, at least.
  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
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    Wow, 146 lbs for 5'10" is pretty thin. My husband is 5'9" and was 145 lbs at his smallest when he was working night shifts and sleeping all day. He looked pretty sick.

    He's been bulking for about a year and he's up to about 157 lbs, which looks good on him. He's not all that "cut" when it comes to musculature, but he intends to get there. I've tried to get him onto MFP to log his calories and he's too lazy to actually do it, but still complains that he's not gaining weight fast enough. When he does log, he always discovers he's eating less calories than he thought. Oh well, I can't force him to do anything, even if it will help him reach goals he's set for himself. Only he can do it. He actually has to eat 4000 calories per day just to gain .5-1 lb/week. 2500 is probably maintenance for your guy, so he'd have to eat more like 3000 in order to gain, maybe more depending on his activity level.

    He's considered mass gainer shakes to get his calorie intake up, but so far he's just been eating a lot. I made him a special blend of mixed nuts (he doesn't like pre-mixed ones because he can't choose which nuts he gets) and a 1/2 cup serving ended up being nearly 500 calories. That helps a lot. And, of course, he lifts so not all the weight he gains is fat.

    The bottom line is that only they can make these changes. It's not up to us.
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
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    First- he needs to do his own research.

    Secondly- you can build strength via body weight training- ask waldo.

    Thirdly- check the following
    Waldo's site on strengthunbound.com
    You are your own gym
    convict conditioning

    Fourth- gaining muscles is two things- progressive loading- and a consistent regulated calorie surplus.

    Yeah, this, Waldo is the man with body weight exercises. Most important, calorie surplus. I am 31, 5'11" and I am currently doing about 3500 calories a day in a bulk, sometimes it's an unpleasant amount of food, so tell him not to be scared of pizza and cheeseburgers.

    Rigger
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
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    Make him big sammiches and plenty of desserts
  • chalk_and_chaturangas
    chalk_and_chaturangas Posts: 21 Member
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    Hi! I'm in the same boat. My boyfriend is naturally slim and tries very hard to gain weight. We both eat about 85% clean and CrossFit 6-7 times a week. He is 5'9" and about 155 and his recommended caloric intake for weight gain for his activity level was closer to 3500-4000 calories.

    Your BF needs to make sure he's eating enough and getting the right nutrient breakdown within his diet. Lots of protein! Unless he lifts heavy weights, it may be difficult for him to gain the amount of muscle you're both probably looking for. I know you said he doesn't want to join a gym, but it might be difficult to get that kind of weight training at home as equipment can be expensive. If you can afford it, that's definitely great! Get the guy a weight set : ) Kettlebells are also a great option as you can get one heavy kettlebell and do a large variety of movements that target the whole body.

    Good luck!
  • fitztho
    fitztho Posts: 1
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    I'll give you insight from the mind of your BF. I am a 6'1" male who weighs in at about 130 lbs. Now, here are a few things:

    1. Offer the same support and encouragement he offered to you. Believe it or not, for some of us it is hard to gain the weight to be at healthy. When you say things like "he's luck to be able to eat whatever he wants and not gain", that is actually detrimental. we know this. We know it is hard. We don't need people pointing out how the work we do is not always enough.

    2. Be prepared for a higher grocery bill. Where you may need skim milk, get him whole. You want diet chips and snacks? Get him (healthy) fattening snacks. Basically, you need two grocery lists, one for him and one for you.

    3. Encourage snacking through the day. If you notice a few hours have gone by and he hasn't been shoving things down his throat-hole, then suggest a peanut-butter sandwich or a shake. Small, dense snacks between meals can be a life changer.

    4. Weight gainers work for some and not for others. Find the foods that work well with him and make sure to keep them stocked. One good thing I was told by a dietitian was "double milk". Take whole fat milk solids (not skim powdered milk) and mix it with milk. That way, one serving of milk has twice the fat. I cannot find non-skim solids around me, so I do a similar thing with 3/4 c milk to 1/4 c half-and-half. It doesn't make it much thicker but adds a ton of fat.

    5. Encourage him to add oil to his food. Not a lot, but a drizzle of olive oil goes a long way. Condiments are his friend.

    Think of the mentality this way: thin guy = heavy woman. Both are considered socially unacceptable, and both sides are prone to ridicule. If he wants to gain, keep the talk around him positive. Try not to make jokes about how thin he is. Trust me, even though they aren't as frowned upon as fat jokes, they still hurt like a mofo.
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh:
    6'1" and 130 lbs...

    I remember those days...... a LONG time ago.
  • RichardRW
    RichardRW Posts: 1
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    I'm 6ft 3" and 135lbs, been trying to gain weight for over a year. Weighed 130lbs then. So I gained 5lbs in a year eating 3000 calories a day. Think I should just give up? My body looks like something from the Belsen concentration camp - some rude person actually told me that once. Skinny looks revolting, hate looking like this, and nothing works.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I'm 6ft 3" and 135lbs, been trying to gain weight for over a year. Weighed 130lbs then. So I gained 5lbs in a year eating 3000 calories a day. Think I should just give up? My body looks like something from the Belsen concentration camp - some rude person actually told me that once. Skinny looks revolting, hate looking like this, and nothing works.

    eat more. plain and simple.
    eating more is hard- but the answer is truly eat more.. lift big.

    higher calorie- low filling food- often called junk food is great for this.

    although- seriously- 3000 calories is nothing- I ate that- and I'm only 5'8 and 165 as a woman.

    you should be eating way closer to 4000 if not 4500.

    the dutch guy someone posted about eats 6500 something a day. if you're big- you gotta eat bigger.
  • xiamjackie
    xiamjackie Posts: 611 Member
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    Sometimes you can add calories without adding a huge amount of food. Cooking with butter instead of a cooking spray, buttering your veggies, getting full-fat versions of things: milk, cheese, PB, etc. instead of the "fat free" versions. If he wants to gain weight, eating calorie reduced foods for any reason would not be very helpful. At the very least, Ben and Jerry's is one of the ice cream brands that has the highest calorie count per serving. One or two servings of that a couple nights a week (a serving is only a .5cup) should add in a good amount of calories!
  • MagnumBurrito
    MagnumBurrito Posts: 1,070 Member
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    Yeah increase those calories. Get to where your gaining a lb a week, 4 lbs a month. You should be able to do that for 3 months at least without getting too much fat.

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