I want to give up

You sound like a perfectionist. Giving up after one junk food meal won't get you anywhere. I believe in the 80-20 rule, eat well 80 percent of the time and allow yourself little indulgences if they will keep you from feeling deprived. It's the big picture that counts and one mistake won't derail you if you pick yourself up and get back on track.

You shouldn't give up. You care enough to feel bad about what you eat. You shouldn't feel bad. I'm sure every one has days like this. A mentor said one time, that she was tired of watching her numbers +/-, but she said she couldn't get any results that way so she gave up watching the scales and just kept eating right (with one cheat day), and exercising all the time (when she could) and she saw inches being shed.

I know its hard, but we're all here supporting one another with the same goal in mind. You can do it, I have faith in you. A story once said, "slow and steady wins the race". So this is your race, do it however you want, you will win!

A little regular exercise will be more effective at helping you lose weight (or at least get stronger) than just altering your diet.

Also, I find that the more I beat myself up over what I eat/do, the more likely I am to say screw it and eat a huge, unhealthy meal. I think the healthiest approach, as mentioned already, is to start slowly. If you go over your calories, don't get discouraged. In fact, in the beginning, just record your calories based on what you normally eat. Make small changes to your daily diet. For instance, I scaled back a little on the sugar I put in my coffee. I started thinking about how hungry I feel vs. how badly I just want to eat something I like. Sometimes I give in, but most of the time, I try to find something else that might make me feel good other than food.

I lost 30 pounds over a year ago, then gained it all back. Life was stressful, I got sick, then injured. My routine was thrown off and I gave up. Getting back into a routine sucks, but it's possible. You can do this, but it won't be without setbacks. That's okay. You're okay.

Think about it this way: Soda is cancer. Trans fats found in chips and fast food are cancer. Artificial dyes screw up the way your brain works, making several signals miss their mark. Your depression is partly due to your life's stresses, and partly due to your diet. You need to find healthy ways to deal with your life's stresses, like running or riding a bicycle instead of eating fried chicken. It's not about who's fat or who's hot, it's about who's eating cancer and who's preparing to live long enough to support their children and grandchildren.

What company do you buy your tinfoil from? I have some money I'd like to invest...

This made me laugh. All I can picture is the scene from signs, when Mel Gibson walks in and Joaquin Phoenix has the tin foil hat on!!

No offence but it sounds like you are just making a bunch of excuses to make yourself feel like you can't do this. I am not pointing fingers, I have done the same thing for years. For me, and possibly in your case too, I was not ready to lose weight. Sure, my body was (and still is, lol) screaming for relief from all the extra pounds (thankfully I have not developed any weight related health issues) but mentally I was not ready. I would tell myself that I wanted this but deep down I wasn't ready. I would start and then a week or two later I would be completely off the wagon. My husband works two jobs and goes to graduate school (although he is on vacation for the summer) and spends time with us (which is not easy with all he has going on but he makes time) and still finds time for working out. Why? Because it means something to him and he wants it. He doesn't have weight to lose but he wants to be really strong and he has to work for that just like I have to work for the weight loss.

You don't have to cut ANYTHING out of your life, you just have to learn how to work it in. But bottom line is that that will never happen until you educate yourself and stop making excuses. It is your choice. If you decide that you are not ready for this right now than stop but work on making healthier choices. Learn to drink more water and less soda. Discover a love for grilled chicken instead of fried (there really is a HUGE calorie difference). Take time to learn everything you can about how weight loss works and not some fad diet so that you will be ready when you decide it is time. If it is time now than don't b*tch that you can't do it for whatever reason, just do it.

Being fat may increase cancer risk. So maybe being fat = cancer.

http://www.nature.com/nrc/journal/v4/n8/abs/nrc1408.html

The prevalence of obesity is rapidly increasing globally. Epidemiological studies have associated obesity with a range of cancer types, although the mechanisms by which obesity induces or promotes tumorigenesis vary by cancer site. These include insulin resistance and resultant chronic hyperinsulinaemia, increased bioavailability of steroid hormones and localized inflammation. Gaining a better understanding of the relationship between obesity and cancer can provide new insight into mechanisms of cancer pathogenesis.



Okay it's not that simple. It might not be about being fat. It might be about insulin, insulin-like growth factor-1, and proinflammatory cytokines that are associated with being fat in humans:


http://cancerres.aacrjournals.org/content/67/6/2391.short

Abstract

Current dogma suggests that the positive correlation between obesity and cancer is driven by white adipose tissue that accompanies obesity, possibly through excess secretion of adipokines. Recent studies in fatless A-Zip/F1 mice, which have undetectable adipokine levels but display accelerated tumor formation, suggest that adipokines are not required for the enhanced tumor development. The A-Zip/F-1 mice are also diabetic and display elevated circulating levels of other factors frequently associated with obesity (insulin, insulin-like growth factor-1, and proinflammatory cytokines) and activation of several signaling pathways associated with carcinogenesis. In view of this information, the risk factors underlying the obesity-cancer link need to be revisited. We postulate that the pathways associated with insulin resistance and inflammation, rather than adipocyte-derived factors, may represent key prevention and therapeutic targets for disrupting the obesity-cancer link. [Cancer Res 2007;67(6):2391–3]


Regardless:

http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa021423

CONCLUSIONS
Increased body weight was associated with increased death rates for all cancers combined and for cancers at multiple specific sites.

If you're not in the right head space then you're just not going to make it work but if it's something you really want you'll do it and stop making excuses to yourself for overeating, and they are excuses that we have all told ourselves at some point. Eating well and exercising will improve your outlook and ability to cope with life and once you've lost a few pounds the momentum and sense of pride you'll achieve will make it less of a struggle to stick with. Don't try leaping straight for a 2lb deficit. Plan and shop ahead including plenty of your favourite foods but in manageable quantities and up your activity level and you'll soon be seeing real results. Giving up on yourself isn't your best option, if you want this just do it!