Are any of you as frustrated about online dating as I am?
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It's definitely not just you.0
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AMEN! I joined two dating sites and one of them I quit after two days. The other I've been on for a little over a year and only been on one date and that date was a dud for the most part.0
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Such bad experiences online dating, mainly old men or sleazes like me, no actually fairly normal acting people respond to me, probably cos of my look. So I have been single 7 years, not one date. I haven't been dated in my lifetime, I think it's just where I live too Culturally speaking. Also in NZ the men keep going overseas and marrying foreigners and women go overseas and come back single we out number the men 3 to 1 here. Fun times haha0
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well, CharleePear, you'd better believe you are stunning, &
when you want to find the right guy, sure you will! dates can be fun!!
So can going out!!0 -
I found them a total waste of money. Older guys only looking for young women, totally out of my geographic area (like Iowa - no offense), totally too young guys looking for "cougars." Idiots! I only went out with three guys. One never called back. One was a self-admitted couch potato and kept telling me that all evening. One would call me at 5:30pm to go out that evening, and was broke from supporting two kids in college.0
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I'm not a big fan of online dating but I met the man of my life on OkCupid in January.
You might like this TED talk from a girl who was also frustrated with online dating : https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating 0 -
It can be a breeding ground for fakes and creeps, just like with anything that's "online".0
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Yeah, I had a terrible time with that. Then I decided I was happy being by myself and focused on enjoying my life and making it great. Just a couple months after I had quit looking, I met a guy (on myspace, of all things) who was also not looking for a relationship. We went out a couple of times, as "friends" and within a few weeks we knew we would be together forever. After a long engagement, we've been married 5 years now.0
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I had a mixed experience, some weirdos but it all ended good. So pleased I didn't give up after the first month or so, I got my happy ending! They aren't all weirdos thankfully :bigsmile: 9 years later wouldn't have done anything differently.
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I'm not a big fan of online dating but I met the man of my life on OkCupid in January. You might like this TED talk from a girl who was also frustrated with online dating : https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating
Great video. I never watched a TED talk before. I'm going to take another look at my profile.0 -
Back when I was 20 I decided to make a profile on a dating site which included the option "looking for friends". I was looking for a buddy to hang out with and play games, and made that very clear on my profile. I got two messages, one from a 60 something man who asked if I was willing to perform certain sexual acts, and one from a girl who could not stop talking about her ex and the drama that surrounded it. Needless to say I deactivated my profiler, and that was the last time I ever used a website dedicated to matching people.
In reality, this whole dating concept is foreign to me. It's like an "interview for a boyfriend". All of my relationships were just friendships that grew to become more than that.0 -
OMG I can't believe even guys my age just want to have sex. I am so mad! I'm trying meetup groups but I find most of the people are in their 20's or 30's. It's good though cuz it gets me out of the house. I tried OKCupid and was thinking of paying for another site but reading the reviews it's the same. Guess I'm doomed to not have a man. At least I have my dog. I also wrote in my ad looking for activity partner. I would like to write NOT INTERESTED IN SEX. LOL0
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I had LOADS of trouble with online dating. I took a break from it for a while because everyone i seemed to meet were asshats. Then back in 2010 i though 'why not give it a go' went on Match and Eharmony and guess what it told me 'sorry their is no one who matches you in your area' that was a massive confidence boost ¬_¬ (can you tell that was sarcastic) but i just kept going and i did meet someone and now we are married. I know a lot of people it has worked for (most of my friend found their partners at OkCupid) but i also know a lot of people who have had no luck with it. Hope you have better luck soon x0
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I have been fairly lucky in that I have not had that many 'creepy' people contact me but I agree it can be super frustrating.
I have been on a dating site for over a year and while I find the site quite good at making it easier to avoid the creeps it is frustrating when it doesn't go anywhere. At first I went on a few dates with some nice people but there just wasn't an attraction there which was fair enough but now nothing... All of the guys I might be interested in are not interested in me and vise versa. I find it very difficult meeting people "in the real world" so yeah I totally agree with you all.0 -
I hate online dating. For some reason, I have fairly normal conversations with decent looking guys for about a week and then they decide it is time to send me a junk pic :huh:0
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I'll attempt it after I reach my goal weight. I'm not one to talk to strangers or go to the bar or even hang with a group of friends so dating or even a date is rare.
How ever I will read about what other people are eating and what their workouts have been. I'm pretty sure that qualifies me as a weirdo from the internet.0 -
I was on a few site after my divorce as I never went anywhere. Met some right weirdos but here I am 4 years later married again to an amazing guy stick with it they aren't all bad0
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online setting makes people feel braver to speak to me
in public no one speaks to me (which is okay i give off a stay the fvck away from me vibe I know) unless its the cat callling bullsh!t
online dating is interesting and the two people I have met because of it make it worth it0 -
online dating SUCKS.0
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Charlee, i have been single for 7 years, the people i have met online have all turned out to be perverts or jerks. dont feel bad, only old men or creepy ones message me too! and i dont think you look any different than anyone else.0
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Dated three guys off of an online dating website and that was three guys too much. Not for me either.0
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I had great experiences, only a few weirdos, and overall loved it. I met my husband on OK Cupid.
My tips
be really picky
be realistic about who you are & what you want with a very detailed profile
never pay for it. I took a look at eHarmony and Match via a friend who was paying for both...and the same guys were on the free sites anyway, like OK Cupid and POF
meet within 7 days of talking to someone online to see if there's an attraction (avoid wasting time)
I do think it helps if you live in a medium to large city more like say Omaha, St Louis, Raleigh, Phoenix, etc. Rural or small towns could make it pointless or meeting nothing but long distance folks. And I'd imagine it is overwhelming in a huge metropolis like NYC or LA.0 -
Tinder is great
Just due to the ease of setting up a profile and the ease of swipe left -> swipe right. I think dating in general is a numbers game and you have just as much chance meeting a weirdo in any setting as you do online IMO.0 -
Is is just me or do any of you feel that online dating is more of a pain than meeting people in traditional ways?
I have to admit that I am not great at the online dating thing.
Personally, online dating was so much fun--and I met my beloved husband online. (we've been together 14 years and married for 7). My first husband died in 1992, which was devastating for me. I needed to change my life so I decided to went to school--and then I went on to graduate school. From 1992 - 2000, I dated but not seriously. I found it hard to meet men because I no longer wanted to go to bars and hang out (my normal way of meeting people when I was in my twenties).
So, I put a profile on a popular online dating site and I had a blast meeting new people--some of whom are still friends, even though there was no romantic connection. When I met my husband, it was truly great. Because he was bicoastal at that time (and we both are today), I didn't actually meet him in person for nearly 6 months--we just kept missing each other for that first date because of business travel and I was working on my dissertation). In those 5.5 months, we really got to know each other on every level other than sexual one, and that was perfect. We became friends before we were ever sexual and I think that's key. For me, it worked out great because you can meet those who you KNOW you have commonalities with. When you meet ;people f2f, the sexual chemistry can often mask problems that are bound to happen sooner or later.
I know everyone is different but particularly for people who are older, busy, and who don't want to hang out in bars--it's a fabulous way to meet compatible people who are also looking to meet people.
JMO! A couple of suggestions I have to those who do want to online date. 1). Always submit an honest picture of yourself and it should be a body shot, not just a head one. Be HONEST. I think that is the biggest problem in why dates might not work out. People submit the most flattering picture of themselves and then there's more chance of disappointment on one or the other's part. 2). NEVER meet for dinner or lunch for the first time. Meet for coffee so in case there isn't a connection, you won't waste the time and money on a big fancy meal. 3). Create a special email address only for online dating in case you meet a weirdo who starts to be a problem. 4). Never give a person you don't know your address; always meet in a public place for the first date. and 5) have fun with it. Go into it with the attitude that you aren't desperate to find a partner but just want to have fun dating. Then if you meet that perfect person, it's even better. LOL. My sister always says that the key to happiness is lowering your expectations. (Sorry for the book--lol).0 -
I have had mixed thoughts about it. I have the guys that only want to talk about sex which is pretty easy to get rid of them when you don't participate or if you don't answer. I think I just don't appreciate it when someone does not want to get to know me and my awesomeness....However I have dated a few people for some length of time. One I dated recently I really really really liked and we had a ton in common, same age, same education, same parenting style and compatible…but then he was not ready or he did not feel it....ya that really sucked. But really how else do you meet someone. The hardest part is when someone says they want something but really don't or are not ready for it. I have had some old men approach me but really my issue is lots and lots of younger men would approach me. Like early 20 - 30 and many early 20s I think they are looking for someone more experienced because they sure would not be interested in a relationship with an older women but then I am a stickler about age range and won’t entertain such things. UGH...I am rambling...yes it is extremely frustrating!!! Lots of first dates but if I don't feel it or they don't, there is no need for a second. Not sure how else to make it happen.0
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Tried it last year. It completely shattered my confidence and I rarely leave the house now.0
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Real talk, OP: If everyone you meet is a weirdo, maybe you're the weirdo...0
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For me, it worked out great because you can meet those who you KNOW you have commonalities with. When you meet ;people f2f, the sexual chemistry can often mask problems that are bound to happen sooner or later.
I completely agree. So many of my friends and acquaintances, male and female, are in relationships or even marriages with people who DO NOT meet their "dealbreakers" sometimes even on really big things like religion, lifestyle, etc. I think with online dating it is much easier to ensure that potential partners meet those "requirements" ahead of time!
I know in face to face situations I have been somewhat attracted to men who would be so wrong for me if I entered a relationship with them, and I can see all of the potential problems and fights that would occur. For some people, that's just the norm -- to enter into relationships with people who are FUNDAMENTALLY opposite to them. Maybe they like working with the person, or living near the person, or they have become infatuated with the person's eyes and smile -- and while it may work out some of the time, very often it does not.
I see this as a huge advantage of online dating...at least it was for me :-)0 -
I've done almost nothing but online dating. It's really hard and there's a lot of trust involved too - But to me it's been easier. Instead of traditional ways where you pray some guy will appreciate your personality before the fat on your legs, online you tend to do just that. More because you're forced to, really, but there you go.
I could do either, and that's just my preference. If you don't like it, I can completely see why - But I always enjoyed it. For me it's been hard, because it was beaten into me (literally) by my peers that I was this fat ugly lump nobody would ever love. So I naturally, as an adult, feel a lot more comfortable expressing myself to people who can't see me. By now, it's just trauma I'm sure. I'm here now because I want to build that confidence up and be able to have my boyfriend appreciate me more. (He's online too ^_^)
So hang in there! Like Jake the Dog always said - Sucking at something is the first step of kinda being good at something.
PS - You're awesome.
Have a great day! 0
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