My dad just passed away. Lost my motivation
shellsies93
Posts: 88
Hey, my name is Michelle and I am 21 years old. My dad passed away 2 weeks ago on fathers day from a massive heart attack. These past two weeks have been miserable and i haven't been eating, or when i do eat, it isn't healthy at all. I know that i need to get back to this but i need a lot of help..I would love some motivation and support from people who understand what i'm going through or who won't judge me.
Thank you!
Thank you!
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Replies
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Oh sweetie, I have no advice but I'm so sorry. Big hugs0
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You can do this... I know with a loss its extremely heartbreaking. Take it day by day if you need to. Lets get the motivational train moving.
You are your dads greatest gift he can give to the world. Don't ever forget that..0 -
Hello. I seen your post and I first want to say Im sorry for your loss. I had a similar thing happen to me years ago only mine was with my cousin who was like a brother to me.0
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I'm 24, my mom passed in January, also unexpectedly. Losing weight might not be top priority at the moment, come back to it in a month. It's hard to eat whats "right" when no food sounds good. Therapy helps a lot, but honestly its just really hard for a while. The good news is after about 3 months it was bearable. Keep your chin up as much as possible, and stay distracted if that helps. Feel free to send me a FR and chat if that might help0
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Shell,
You have your whole life ahead of you and innumerable things that you could do. Be sad that he's gone, but know that he is still with you in spirit and would want you to succeed at all goals that you set, and achieve all things that you desire. I know it's not going to be an easy road, but you can do it. Life is a constant uphill battle. You can chose to let it slow you down, or you can keep the beat and lift those feet and make up some time that you could be losing by dragging down.. All your MFPeeps have your back and know that whatever you put your mind to, you can achieve. You got this!
~Kevin0 -
I'm so sorry
Take it easy on yourself. Give yourself time to grieve and just survive. 0 -
I went through something similarishh
My very close friend, a cousin who might as well been my brother, and my grandpa who i grew up living with all died in 2 months.. and my husband also become unemployed...
I gave up too. It took me way too long to get back on the right track. I'd hate for that to happen to you, because according to your ticker.. you are doing amazing and have came A LONG WAYS.
I am very positive your father would not want his death to cause you to give up. I was told this too. I knew they were right.. but it didn't change the hurt inside of me. I wish I could go back and just work out and eat right despite how i felt. and just done it..
Don't loose this time in your life.. left your grief drive you. Don't get me wrong.. you need to heal... but don't let yourself go..
*hugs*0 -
Hi Michelle,
My heart is with you as I am struggling with the same thing. My step father passed away from the same thing two weeks before Christmas and it has been extremely difficult. Following his passing I have gained 10lbs, lost all motivation and went into major junk food eating. Some weeks I have pulled myself together and got back on track and other weeks I am just a lost cause.
The only advice I can give you is advice I keep telling myself, " You have to do this for your dad, eat better and exercise so you can extend your life."
In my case I am 25 years old with a husband and two small children, we have all been devastated since my step father passed away, the kids terribly miss their grandpa as well. The best thing I can do for them and him is to eat better and exercise in hopes that I to do not pass away early of heart disease.
I hope you find your motivation and wish you the best of luck in your healing process, remember it won't be easy but you can do it and overcome the obstacles in your way.0 -
I am so sorry for your loss. {{{hugs}}}} When my mother died, I was shocked to find I had no energy for running. I think I may have gone through the motions with weights, but I was void of all strength. Just keep going. It will come back, I promise. I was starting to worry that I'd never find my legs again, but I did, and I'm so happy. Your dad would want you to get back up and do it.
Take care of yourself.0 -
I lost my dad when I was 20 and it completely de-railed my fitness. (I'm 22 and just now trying to change my bad habits) It can be so tough at times but you will find strength that you didn't know you had through your struggles. I believe in you!0
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so sorry for your loss, (((HUGS)) prayers going out to you and your family in this sad time. Just take time to greive and do what you need to do, don't beat yourself up for not eating perfectly right now ok, give yourself some time to heal, and when your ready you can always come back and slowly start making better eating choices... and sense your Dad passed of a major heart attack, that should be some encouragement to try to get healthier, when your ready of course... you don't have to rush.
anyways hang in there ok.... and take time to take care of yourself, and surround yourself around good family and freinds for now..ok.
Take care
God Bless0 -
I don't know the right words to say except that I am so sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))0
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I lost my father March 30 of this year. He was only 48 years old and I am 22. It was something that I just didn't want to believe. I will tell you right now that the pain will be there and you will always miss him but eventually you will think back on him with happier thoughts. But it's hard, even now for myself. But stay around love ones and cry when you need to and talk when you want to. That is what helped me a lot during these times.
I completely understand how you feel. I was also at school and left for a week and lucky for me, the following week was spring break. I spent two weeks back home. I can tell you that on some days, I ate very little. Other days, i did nothing but eat. My mom's family came over every day of those 2 weeks to bring food to make sure we were eating and had food. Honestly, I'm glad they were there to make sure we ate something and to make sure we weren't wasting away in bed.
At the beginning of the second week I weighed myself and was about 175. In a way, I felt powerless with the death of my father and I needed to be in control over something. After a week of over/under eating, I went back to watching what I was eating. I wasn't counting calories or logging anything at first, I just made sure to eat what I considered was at maintenance. After a month of doing just that, I went back to calorie counting and tracking what I was eating. I realized that I had to continue with my life and my father wouldn't have wanted me to fall back where I use to be. He was so proud I was changing my eating habits and becoming healthier and more confident as I continued to lose the weight. It actually inspired him to start doing the same. Unfortunately, he started too late.
Right now I'm 170 but I only weighed myself a few days ago. It was difficult and I did lose my motivation. I didn't start logging again until a month later. It takes time though. I would say to not worry right about food and make sure you are eating atleast something. When you feel ready to start again, it will happen.
If you want to talk, my messages are always open (I think). I send you a lot of love and support.0 -
Hey, my name is Michelle and I am 21 years old. My dad passed away 2 weeks ago on fathers day from a massive heart attack. These past two weeks have been miserable and i haven't been eating, or when i do eat, it isn't healthy at all. I know that i need to get back to this but i need a lot of help..I would love some motivation and support from people who understand what i'm going through or who won't judge me.
Thank you!
first off condolences for your loss
My father who was fit as a fiddle most of his life had to have a quadruple bypass several years ago due to a minor heart malfunction (rare condition), but there was every possiblity he would not make it through the operation, thankfully he's fine now other then diabeties.
, I could only imagine if i lost my mother who is my life and my father who i am close too i don't know if i could cope either, i recently lost my last grandparent and that was tough, my grandmother was a second mother to me. and my two 12 year old dogs a few years ago that were almost my sole motivation to get off the couch that hit me even harder, All i can say is it does get easier, and take the time you need to grieve but just think would your father want you to stop living and harm your health by not eating, he would want you to continue being the best you can be and if you feel the need and are already a member of the gym, workouts are a great form of stress release, and lastly don't be afraid to let out the emotions. and eat something, doesn't matter too much at this stage just get some food into you, you will not get better if you are miserable from being hungry as much as it seems irrelevant atm.
Your father maybe watching over you still
Plenty of us here that can offer moral support however you need and if they judge you they are heartless0 -
I am very sorry your father died. When my sister passed I did the same thing with food myself. What I will tell you is try to take a short walk daily not just for physical health but mental as well it helps clear the mind. This sounds cliquish but over time the hurt and pain subsides, you'll always miss them but it won't hurt as much.
Friend me and message me if you like.0 -
big HUGS girl...
take the time to grieve and don't be too hard on yourself. :flowerforyou:0 -
Take this advice, and I'm so sorry for your loss. My mother-in-law died in a car accident about two years ago, and losing someone so unexptectedly is very difficult on those they leave behind.take the time to grieve and don't be too hard on yourself. :flowerforyou:
I do have a friend who started running (her own version of thearpy) after losing both parents in a relatively short time span, and she found it to be very helpful to get lost in that alone time on the road. You will get your motivation back in time...this is still so new.
Hang in there...time makes all things easier :flowerforyou:0 -
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I'm sorry for your loss. I can completely understand. I was doing great in my weight loss journey and my dad passed away on April 23rd at age 55. I totally lost all motivation. I still haven't been able to 100% get back on track but I'm trying. I make sure I log everything even if I know I'm WAY over. I am just taking it one day at a time. It's been very hard but after 2 months it has gotten somewhat better. Hang in there!!! HUGS!!!!0
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I wanted to add - I have let my father's passing open my eyes a lot. I know now why I have to take better care of my body. And I also know I need to really live life to the fullest because it can be cut short at any moment. 0
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I am so sorry for your loss. Don't worry too much about things other than processing your grief. All will come back in time. You reached out here. That's important. There is no timetable for grieving. It is a personal journey.
Hugs to you :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm so sorry. My dad had a bad heart attack back in February and everyone said he was extremely lucky to be alive. He's still feeling the effects of it and I'm constantly worried that he'll have another one and won't be so lucky this time.
I say give yourself a break. It's only been two weeks. You need time to grieve. Your eating and exercise plan will be there when you've healed. If you need to see a counselor, see one. If you just need time to handle it on your own (without being destructive), then do that. This isn't the time to worry about your weight. Give yourself some time.0 -
Losing a loved one is heartbreaking, as a girl losing Dad is devastating. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Everyone grieves in their own way, take time grieve your loss. It's very hard to make "good" choices when we are just trying to get through the day. Don't get down on yourself and don't give up living a health style. When I lost my dad I didn't want to get out of bed, but I knew he would have hated that. To the end he fought, who was I to give up.
Take time, heal and get back to it. Again I'm sorry.0 -
Condolences on your loss. It's the toughest to lose a parent, sibling or child.
Your father should be your motivation. He'd probably tell you right now that possibly better care of his own health might have kept him around much longer. You share the same genetics, so it could also happen to you at the same age.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
You can do this... I know with a loss its extremely heartbreaking. Take it day by day if you need to. Lets get the motivational train moving.
You are your dads greatest gift he can give to the world. Don't ever forget that..
This. Absolutely.
Please don't give up. Live for him...he would want you to be the very best you can be. My condolences and my thoughts are with you.0 -
Hi Michelle,
I'm 23 now, and my Dad died nearly 4 years ago when I was 19. I really would advise you to just take this time to yourself and your family. I let myself go a bit after he died, yes I put on a few pounds, but at the time it was what I needed, to not worry about things that I didn't need to think about. You seem thin enough to not have any medical issues with your weight, so a few weeks/couple months of just not counting or worrying too much can really do you the world of good. In my experience it did anyhow, and now I'm lighter than I was prior to my dad passing, and much healthier, so it wasn't the start of a downhill slope either.
My point is, If anyone deserves cake and cuddles right now, it's you and your family.
If you're not eating, try to go for high fat and protein yoghurts and fruit, yummy, high fat healthy stuff
I hope you're ok as you can be, and I wish the best for you and your family. But believe me, I promise you, it does get easier over time, even though that might seem like a ludicrous thing to say, it really will. xx0 -
I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself room to grieve. Remember to breathe, slowly.0
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I'm so sorry hun. I don't have any useful advice for you but just wanted to tell you I'm sorry for your loss0
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Some things, there really are no words for. But.. I can tell you from my experience, my dad changed forms when i was 23.. and i'm 34 now.. and i still miss him... but i take solace in the knowing that he would want me to be happy, successful and living out my dreams.
sometimes, the only motivation i have for myself, is that my dad isn't here, but I am. I am here. As long as I'm alive its my goal to live my life to the fullest and make this great life a wonderful adventure. Part of that journey for me has been weight loss.
Please be gentle with yourself. Know how precious Life is. And LIVE your BEst LIFE. Make it a tribute to your dad.. but more importantly, know that you are enough, and know that your dad loved you just the way you are. Now you have to love yourself more than ever.
Wishing you love and laughter.. and an incredible ride! Feel free to add me as a friend.
-Audrie0 -
Im so sorry
When I was 18 , my mom passed away , a few days after my birthday and just before mothers day .
Shortly after that I developed an eating disorder and some other problems . I hope you don't deal with your emotions
by eating a certain way or not eating . Bc that habit is SO hard to break .
Its been 5yrs now .
Im so sorry your going thru this , but LET yourself go thru it .
That is the best advice I can give you .
Be patient with yourself , be nice to yourself , accept any help offered to you by friends & family .
It does get easier .0
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