Busy moms, can you relate?

Ladybug1250 · July 2014

Ok so we all have a list of excuses but here mine;

I work 4 ten hour days then come home to my busy 3 year old.

I cook (and clean up) dinner for my family

By the time dinner is done it's usually between 6-7 and by then i'm feeling pretty exhausted (who am I kidding, i'm exhausted during dinner and most days am just pushing through to get it on the table)

Then bedtime is between 8-9 and on bath days we start the routine earlier.

When I have the energy (which hasn't been lately) we go for a little walk or play in the yard (I run and play too to keep moving) but a lot of times i'm just too tired and want to sit on the couch and watch TV.

I don't like going to the gym for a few reasons. I feel like i'm gone so long which isn't fair to my family and I hardly see my daughter during the week as it is I don't like to be away from her. I also don't like having to drive there and back, I feel like its' wasting what little evening time I have, It's expensive when walking and running outside is free.

Anyways there's the dilemma. Can anyone relate? Can anyone share their secrets of success? OR maybe just commiserate so I don't feel so alone? :-)

Thanks friends xox

Me2FitMe · July 2014

Single mom of 2... I can relate big time...

Yes, I've tried the gym thing after work before picking up from the sitter but like you, I feel bad not spending that time with them...

My only fix and also to ensure that it gets done, I do get on/off the wagon-- is to exercise before work. I get up 40-60 mins earlier and just do it. Yes, it's hard but once you get it out of the way-- you are glad you did. Surprinsingly, it also gives you more energy throughout the day. If not right away after a week or two...

That of course is weights that I have at home or home videos... I do have a gym membership but I save it for when I can actually go without feeling guilty.

Holly_Roman_Empire · July 2014

Is there a husband or life partner that can share the workload?

My day is similar to yours, but I get a lot of help and support from my husband that has been critical to my success.

As for being too tired and/or exhausted to exercise, if you want to do it, you'll do it. You don't have to go to a gym to work out, and you don't have to work out to lose weight (if that's your goal). All those are tools to help you get there.

Awesomers · July 2014

In a similar boat, though my daughter is now 13 but I split my time between full time work, full time grad school, and home (and 13 year olds need lots of attention, too!). Just make the time. Do it for yourself. Do it now so that you have more time to spend with your family later on in life. I work out at home because I know that driving to/from a gym will be a deal breaker for me. My "gym" is at home and I am slowly adding equipment to it and expanding my exercise repertoire. Whatever you do, don't let excuses get in the way of your health!

mommyrunning · July 2014

Oh I can so relate. Work M-F full time. Wake my kids at 645, drop them off at daycare at 715, go to work, pick them up at 6pm, make and serve dinner, 30-60 minutes of family time, bath time, bed time, now it's 9 pm and I want to pass out but still have to shower and get clothes ready for me and the girls ready for the next day. That doesn't even take into account keeping my house clean which I've accepted it won't be totally clean for years to come :> My husband is great but usually works later than me and our girls are momma's girls. On top of that I am working on finishing my business degree. Sometimes I think about taking time for myself but feel guilty. Here's a few things that I have found helpful:

Sunday pick out & prepare clothes for the week
Plan meals that are quick to make or do make ahead meals & use paper plates
Find ways to multi task. For example I clean the bathroom, fold laundry, or catch up on email while the girls play in the bath
Choose physical activity that the kids can do with you like going to the park or work out videos they can do with you
Enlist kids in chores like picking up their toys or sorting laundry (but be careful with little ones near the washer/dryer)
spend 30 minutes after work doing a quick clean up or me time (daycare is close to home so that helps)

At first I felt really guilty picking up my girls a little later but it turns out it makes our time better because I have had time to decompress and I am not thinking about all the housework that needs to be done. I am able to focus on just having fun with them.

AllOutof_Bubblegum · July 2014

Mom of a 2.5 y/o boy, full time student, and I work 30+ hours a week.

I get up and workout before my husband leaves for work, so I don't have to drag my son out of bed and take him with me. I get home, husband goes to work, and I have the whole morning to be with my son before I leave for work. I find that when I go before work, I have awesome energy and few food cravings throughout the day, but if I try to go afterwards, I have crap energy and can't do it. So I force myself up at 4:50 every morning to hit the gym, and it's ALWAYS worth it. I never regret it!

Jess__I__Can · July 2014

I feel like we could write the same life story.

I also work 4 ten hour days then come home to my busy 5 year old and 18 month old.

I also cook (and clean up) dinner for my family.

By the time dinner is done it's usually between 7-8 and by then i'm feeling pretty exhausted.

Then bedtime is between 7-9 (depending which kid).

I never have energy at night. I do not go to the gym. But I do get in some exercise (not much, but some). Here's how:

1. I have a 5lb weight at my desk I use periodically for bicep curls, and whatever else I can think of.

2. I have replaced my office chair with an exercise ball.

3. On my three days off, I take the kids with me for a walk. My 5 year old walks or rides her bike, but when she was 3 I just pushed her in her stroller.

4. I FORCE myself to do SOMETHING at night if I have gone over my calories for the day. I have an elliptical and watch some Youtube cardio videos.

5. I use the elliptical when the kids are napping.

6. I use the elliptical when the husband is playing video games.

7. I have more energy during the day when I eat wholesome foods.

Hope that helps!

Fit_Housewife · July 2014

I feel you after just having my third kid I find it nearly impossible to fit in workouts but I just try to fit in the smaller ones 15 minutes here and there just to get some exercise in .

nhenryoliver · July 2014

Totally sympathise. I try to exercise even if I feel tired, once the kids are in bed, or get up early instead. I find it reduces stress as i do something for me, and get some peace!

sengalissa · July 2014

I have 5 between 1 and 10 and everyone is home all day every day. The first one is up at 6, the older ones are in bed at 9. My only chance are mornings. I get up at 5.15, and my husband takes the early riser until I am back. I find it exhausting. But exercise is a mood enhancer so everyone knows it is worth giving me that hour or I will be grumpy all day. And since everyone relies on me, it has to work out

Ladybug1250 · July 2014

WOW thank you to all the WONDERFUL ladies who offered advice. This is awesome!!!

I used to work out in the mornings, that lasted for about a month until we listed our house for sale. The world wind of events that happened after resulted in me going on a fitness hiatus. Now that we're settled in our new home (well mostly) I should start that up again. In fact, I've been bugging hubby to get me an elliptical. It's tough for me to get my *kitten* out of bed in the wee hours, I'm not even going to lie. However for a while I had a fitness buddy that would text me in the AM and we would motivate each other.

I've since been out of touch with her after deactivating my original account on here but if anyone is in EST and would be getting up around 5-5:15 AM maybe we can be texting buddies?

I think the working out in the morning would help as I do recall feeling more energetic during the day, and also feeling accomplished since I was already done and didn't have the "I have to workout tonight" cloud hanging over my head. I do need to make time to get some workouts in on my three days off tho, that for sure is key since on those days I have great energy, esp first thing in the AM.

I guess i'm being hard on myself. Some days are harder than others and I do have it pretty good when I start to count my blessings :-) And yea maybe I should have hubby help me more.

Thanks again ladies!!

Carrieendar · July 2014

I always say that exercise became my time creator. I have 4 kids, work full time and am working my way through nursing school as well. I do endurance running, so I am out there 1-3 hours a day. I had to make it all work.

-tag team dinners : sometimes I get dinner almost done and my husband finishes it off. So I will make the salad, brown and marinade the meat, get the burger patties made, have the pizzas ready to cook and in the fridge...that kinda stuff.

-totally premade dinners- there are some dinners I can have made while I cook breakfast. Crock pot is great for this but there are so many others. For example, I will get a big pack of chicken breasts cut in smaller pieces. I will make cutlets while I cook breakfast then stick those in the fridge, do up some rice, and make a salad...dinner then is just reheating. certain meals take better to this. also, I will keep a few breasts to the side after cooking and put those in the fridge for lunches (chicken caesar wraps or whatever)

-other food time savers: I have a container in the fridge of chopped up veggies for veggie omelets in the morning and I keep homemade pizza dough in the freezer at all times. Make school lunches the night before. When the kids are 7+, make them do it themselves. I havea simple rule. You get to eat what you want in your lunch when you make it. When I make it, you are stuck with rabbit food and water.

oh..see how they scurry to make a cool lunch!

-give the kids chores. Lots of them. It builds character, and you can workout while you supervise. it might seem harsh, but my 9 year old can clean bathrooms.

For working out, obviously the early morning things is key, but I also sneak in strength training at home. My husband is an athlete as well, so we work together. We have a pull up bar that goes into a doorway, so we might hang that up and then get out a few different weight sets. We turn on a show the whole family likes and take turns calling out exercises to each other. Sometimes we let the kids use their kindles during this time.

Also, never underestimate the power of having a Wii U. they can play games on the gamepad and thereby free up the TV for you to a workout video.

LULUREBEL · July 2014

I completely understand... I work full-time, 40-60 hours a week depending on the month and I have two little ones. My husband is a huge help but I don't like to sacrifice time away from my kids. So I work out in the morning (if I have the energy) at home using DVDs and that has worked great for me. If I don't do it in the morning, I do it at after the kids go to bed. Or if my husband is bathing them, I work out at that time. Other ways to get some activity in - I've been walking on my lunch break at work or I take a stroll with the family after dinner. On the weekends, we do lots of outdoor activities with the kiddos so that has helped as well. Feel free to add me.

TXRanchGirl · July 2014

I work fulltime, 40 hours a week. I have a 13 year old son. my workout time is either early (5AM) or in the evening (only time I workout in the evening is if hubby is working late..I dont sacrifice family time for working out)

We also have a full ranch..I raise sheep, so morning and evenings are filled with feeding, cleaning pens, working the show string,ect. I am the lamb mentor for our county and run the 4-h club. I also organize shows thruout the year and am secretary for our local horse committee.

I still find time to make dinner, clean my house, do laundry AND workout. its balance and simply doing it.

potatogirl741 · July 2014

I am married but my husband works in TX and we live in MN. He is gone two weeks at a time so essentially I am a single mom to a very busy 14 month old the majority of the time. I work FT and I made the choice to work out before I go and get him at daycare every evening. It is important to my physical and mental health that I work out. Do I feel guilty for not spending that extra 45-60 mins with my little man? Of course but I am a better person and mom for it. Like a previous poster said, if it's important to you you just find a way to do it.

triciabh1 · July 2014

I can totally relate and it's very difficult for me to have a structured exercise program...I just try to fit it in when I can. I am married, have 3 kids, and work full-time. My husband is an electrician in the winter and farms the rest of the time so he is gone a lot when I am home with the kids. I usually work out at home after the kids go to bed because I can't get up any earlier and I have to pick them up by 5:30pm every day from daycare. It's difficult sometimes but I really wanted to get in shape so I make it work when I can.

vkdarling · July 2014

I'm a single mom too I have a 6 year old who is with me 7 days a week every day of the year... and I work 4 10 hour days also... so what I do is I tell myself i HAVE to workout for 30 min (right now its the 30 day shred) after my son goes to bed. Just 30 min... I do it .. and usualy after the 30 min I am motivated to do even more (usually walk for 30 or 45 min). Then I crash or do housework or whatever... I always had the excuse that I dont have time or energy but we can do pretty much anything for just 30 min right?

lbpears · July 2014

I can relate. I'm a single mom to a 9 year old son. I work full-time at a stressful job that also requires me to travel. I have to force myself to workout before work or else it just won't get done. Some days I have to literally drag myself out of bed to do it, but I'm always glad I do. Normally I'm energized enough from the workout that I don't miss the hour or so of sleep too much. There are of course some weeks when I don't get in as many days as I should, but I try not to be too hard on myself and focus on the fact that those weeks I probably needed the sleep.

sarah2954 · July 2014

Married mom of three.

Full time job.

Graduated graduate school last year, graduated law school this year.

Studying for the NY bar exam.

I prepare healthy meals and run. Every. Single. Day.

Stop making excuses. You want it? Do it.

scraver2003 · July 2014

Being a working mom is the hardest thing EVER. I work 8 to 4:30 with about a 45 minute commute. At my last job, I worked out on my lunch break. At this job, I have switched to working out in the morning. (I am still practicing at the getting up early thing.)

I do not feel guilty about time I spend on myself. I just don't. I am trying to be a healthy person. I am trying to model healthy habits. And when I take care of myself, I am a better mom. I spent all day Saturday at a race, which means I did not see much of my kids that day. But now my oldest is asking when HE can do a race like that.

Then Sunday, I took him to the movies for some special time together.

I do a lot of sammiches for dinner. Lol! We grilled up some meat and veggies last night - that was easy. When I make meals, I make big ones and eat left overs for lunches and dinners later in the week.

njfitnessmom · July 2014

I can completely relate. I'm a single mom of two and I work a full time job and a part time job. I find the best time to get my workouts in are either 4-4:15am or after the kids go to bed, 8:15-8:30. I know it's one extreme to the other, very early in the morning or later at night but I do what I have to do to get my workouts in. When I workout at night I will usually have a cup of sleepy time tea to help me wind down some so I can sleep.

Feel free to add me as a friend. I'm also on EST time. Hope it gets better for you.

lbpears · July 2014

Married mom of three.

Full time job.

Graduated graduate school last year, graduated law school this year.

Studying for the NY bar exam.

I prepare healthy meals and run. Every. Single. Day.

Stop making excuses. You want it? Do it.

I don't understand why people post stuff like this on these boards when someone is looking for support. Big kudos to you for having it figured out, and I mean that honestly. Not all of us are there just yet.

stomasel · July 2014

I remember those days when my kids were young. It was harder when I was a single mom with my first child, now I'm single mom with 3 kids, but they are older now. When they were real young, I would put on the music and have my son exercise with me. I would get on the treadmill before anyone would wake up. I know the feeling of exhaustion, you'll feel like you can barely push yourself to do much more. I believe it's important to give your kids all the attention you can when they are young, I found ways to excerise with them, like swimming, dancing, running, kids love to run and for you to chase them.

sarah2954 · July 2014

Married mom of three.

Full time job.

Graduated graduate school last year, graduated law school this year.

Studying for the NY bar exam.

I prepare healthy meals and run. Every. Single. Day.

Stop making excuses. You want it? Do it.

I don't understand why people post stuff like this on these boards when someone is looking for support. Big kudos to you for having it figured out, and I mean that honestly. Not all of us are there just yet.

I suppose my tone reads as harsh. But that's what it comes down to: your own motivation. There are countless blogs, articles, etc on how to workout, eat better, spend more time with your kids, prepare nutritious meals, etc etc. But in the end, it comes down to "you." No one can make you change your behavior. If you're "too tired" to go for a walk and watch TV instead, that's a choice, and it has consequences. SO I guess my best advice on getting started in changing unhealthy habits is to fake it til you make it. Too tired? Do it anyway. You'll feel better tomorrow, and eventually it will become a habit.

I hope that was more helpful.

BarbieAS · July 2014

Married mom of three.

Full time job.

Graduated graduate school last year, graduated law school this year.

Studying for the NY bar exam.

I prepare healthy meals and run. Every. Single. Day.

Stop making excuses. You want it? Do it.

I don't understand why people post stuff like this on these boards when someone is looking for support. Big kudos to you for having it figured out, and I mean that honestly. Not all of us are there just yet.

Yup. SO freaking over the mommy guilt crap. We all do the best we can, some people are trying to do just a little bit better or are looking for people who share their struggles. Instead of boasting about your success (and, fully agree, sincerely good for you), why not offer some tips about how to get there, or else just keep it to yourself instead of posting that you're so awesome so everyone else should be able to be just as awesome, and if they're not then they're just not trying hard enough? Seriously. (Edited to add: I was still typing when I saw the follow up response. I appreciate the effort to tone it down, but I stand by my statement.)

Anyway. OP, you described my life. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Including commute and daycare drop off time, I'm out of the house from about 7am until about 6:30pm or later Monday through Friday, and the second I get home it's dinner time. Then I get my precious few minutes to just play/be with my kids (which I am ABSOLUTELY unwilling to give up on any regular basis), then bath and bedtime starts about 8:30pm (sometimes a bit later). By the time they actually get to bed, it's 9:30-10pm or later, and then I STILL have to do all the the normal day-to-day stuff like cleaning, laundry, paying bills, packing breakfasts and lunches, etc etc etc, plus MAYBE find a half hour in my entire day to just turn off my brain and relax (I know, SO indulgent, right?). If I get to bed by midnight I'm lucky. Weekends are just as bad, packed to the gills with errands and all the cleaning that doesn't get done during the week and play dates and birthday parties and soccer games and swim lessons and time with family and friends and everything else that people do on weekends.

I do get to the gym a couple of times per week, usually I find an hour or so on a weekend and/or I go at 10pm after my kids are in bed. Mostly I get my activity in by just walking as much as humanly possible - when I'm spending time with my kids I try to get outdoors, go on walks, go to the park, go to the zoo, etc. I also try to walk on my lunch if I actually get an opportunity to get away from my desk instead of eating there and working through (and I don't have an urgent errand to run). I would love to go in the morning, but I'd need to be awake at like literally 4:30am to make that happen....and I know it just sounds like a whiny excuse, but I CAN NOT do it. It may work for some people, and I'm absolutely jealous of them, because it doesn't work for me and I'd LOVE to be able to get my workout done in the morning instead of having to lug my butt to the gym at 10:00 at night after I'm exhausted from a day of work and kids. I'm not a morning person and I simply can't function on 4.5 hours or less of sleep per day. I have enough trouble getting up by 5:30-6am. So, I just squeeze it in when I can. Not every workout needs to be a full 1.5 hours of cardio and resistance...walking a mile or two at lunch or something counts too, and it's far better than nothing if it's all you have time for.

Capt_Apollo · July 2014

pre cook as many of your meals for the week ahead of time. crock pot meals are great. grill up a family sized pack of chicken. make a big pot of rice, cook some veggies. things that can be mixed and matched with each other.

the other day i made about a dozen protein waffles. i ate two and put the rest away for the week. oatmeal can also be made in bulk and in advance (just under cook it, so when you heat it up in the microwave it's not too dry.)

Capt_Apollo · July 2014

Married mom of three.

Full time job.

Graduated graduate school last year, graduated law school this year.

Studying for the NY bar exam.

I prepare healthy meals and run. Every. Single. Day.

Stop making excuses. You want it? Do it.

I don't understand why people post stuff like this on these boards when someone is looking for support. Big kudos to you for having it figured out, and I mean that honestly. Not all of us are there just yet.

she gave support in her own way. personally, i like what she said. do it, and find a way to do it.

skippygirlsmom · July 2014

I get up at 5:00 so I can run before my daughter starts her day. I work through lunch so I can leave an hour early to go to the gym for 45 mins or so before heading home by 5:00 - just started this recently. The good thing is the gym is free and in our building. During XC and track season I need to be at school by 5:00 to pick up kiddo so I'll have to be out of the gym by 4:30 to be there on time. Sometimes during the summer XC practice I'll run with the team so I can sleep until 6:30 and shower when I take daughter home. :-)

My boyfriend is a big help with things around the house and pitches in with daughter whenever needed, but she's my responsibility and he works until at least 5:00 so he can't help out there anyway.

It is hard and exhausting, sometimes I feel like I never sit for 5 mins to relax. Daughter also goes to youth ministry, plays soccer, attends chuch so we have our plates mighty full. I just keep moving forward, that is all you can do.

sarah2954 · July 2014

Married mom of three.

Full time job.

Graduated graduate school last year, graduated law school this year.

Studying for the NY bar exam.

I prepare healthy meals and run. Every. Single. Day.

Stop making excuses. You want it? Do it.

I don't understand why people post stuff like this on these boards when someone is looking for support. Big kudos to you for having it figured out, and I mean that honestly. Not all of us are there just yet.

she gave support in her own way. personally, i like what she said. do it, and find a way to do it.

I also amended my post, if someone would notice that

My point is, motivation is internal. I have 24 hours in a day. So do you. Do what you want with them, even if it's hard. Again, "fake it til you make it," then it will be habit, and you and your family will be happier and healthier. Best of luck.

aarnwine2013 · July 2014

My kids are older so I can relate but things are different now. Honestly I started putting me first. I had to do this for me and I sat my family down and told them they can support me in this or not, I'm doing it.

It was rough for a week or two and there are still days when my husband wishes I'd just hang out with him in the evenings, but I stuck to it.

You have to make the time and put your self first or at least a close second. That's the only way to fit things like this in.

I should say I'm no expert, but so far things are going really well and my family gets it and helps out. Hope you find some good ways to manage it all! Good luck!

Jessica11221 · July 2014

I'm right there with all of you. I became a stay at home mom last year I didn't think I would feel so overwhelmed. My husband is supportive but since I'm home he has put much of the responsibilty on me. I do all the laundry, Dishes, Cleaning, cooking, yard work and take care of 3 kids ages 5 and under. I'm exhausted and it's discouraging because I never feel like I get much done during the day. We have no help because niether of our parents are very involved with our kids. I do however get comments about my weight frequently when we have family get togethers....when it comes to exercise I'm too tired in the evenings and during the day forget it. Some days are just defeating.

Busy moms, can you relate?

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