Is it rude?

I don't think it is rude at all. If you make enough to share it might not come across in a bad way. If his family knows that you have a life style change then they should support it.

I'm a vegetarian and whenever we visit my Mother-in-Law she knows my first stop is to Publix where I will buy all of my own groceries.

She doesn't take offense - she is very understanding.

When I'm invited to dinners/events, I tell whomever invited me that I'm a vegetarian - that I'll bring a vegetarian dish to pass along with my own 'main dish' (usually a Morningstar Chik'en) so they don't feel like they have to cater to me (I can just microwave this quickly either at my house before I leave or at the Hosts' house before we eat).

I don't want to offend anyone, but I don't want to starve either - I look at it as taking care of myself.

What's hubby's take on it? Would you feel comfortable calling his parents about it before hand to ask if they mind?

I personally wouldn't care but some people would definitely be offended. One of the last times we had the GPIL over for dinner, it was Easter so I made a big ham dinner. GMIL showed up with some fish claiming she didn't like ham. Didn't bother me but Hubby was really bothered by it. I only wish she would've said something before hand so I could've picked something else we would've all enjoyed together...but that's typical for her, which is a whole 'nother story I won't get into right now...

I agree with some of the PPs who suggested that if they're open to it, bring a side dish or two that are healthier/lighter. I've done this at potluck BBQs before and it does help because you can eat most of your own stuff and then just have a bite or two of other things if you like without worrying about blowing your calories out of the water for the day.

I also agree with the PPs who say to just go with it, make the best choices you can and move on. It's only one day.

I do this all the time. Sometimes, I get asked about it, and I just tell them I have to watch my diet closely. I get the occasional, "You could just have some salad," or "you just need to cut out carbs," or other 'expert' advice comments, to which I reply, "No thank you." If they thinks I'm rude, IDGAF. My health is so much more important that what people might think of me for not eating their food. I hate people that think their food offerings are that important or incredible, anyway.

You didn't get fat from one family outing. Bringing a bag of food might not be the rudest thing you could do, but you will probably be questioned and bring the focus of attention to you, and that won't make for a pleasant situation.

And just because a family decides to cookout and have cookies and whatever for everyone doesn't mean they're "enablers." The only enabler is you and whether you decide to go berserk on the food.

I would bring enough to share with the family...

I'm gonna take a different route and think that maybe it's not just your concern about weight gain but that the food prepped by who you'll be visiting may be so disgustingly unhealthy that it really isn't palatable to you anymore.

Had a situation like that this past Christmas when I visited my boyfriend's sister-in-law. She's quite overweight and anything she "cooks" (that's savoury - she'll make sweet things totally from scratch) is basically a reheated amalgamation of various frozen dinners or pre-prepared foods. She quite literally doesn't have anything edible and green in the house. The closest thing you'll get to vegetables at one of her parties is a fruit salad doused in sugar and syrup (and that somehow manages to smell like baby diapers).

I didn't bring anything and I ate as little as I could get by on. Namely because it made my mouth feel like it was coated in grease any time I ate something - and the only thing I didn't mind eating was this chicken-pizza pocket thing she made out of that Pillsbury turnover batter. But there were only 5 of those (and they're about the size of half my palm) and I didn't want to eat all of them to be fair to everyone else.

So I took a bit of other things that didn't smell or taste horrid, spread them around my plate and made do until we left. Then we passed by a convenience store and I had the luxury to buy myself a much larger and more caloric protein bar than I usually can.

If you can work a way to bring in something you can eat - like a salad (tip: a brussel sprout bacon salad is quite often a hit even with people who hate green things - http://pinchofyum.com/bacon-and-brussel-sprout-salad) - and eat that. Get a bit of other things and spread the other things around your plate to make it seem like you're taking more than you are. Eat your salad (a bit of the other things if you're so inclined) and there you are. Call ahead and offer to bring that salad as a thank you - don't mention anything about your diet or needing to accomodate your needs, just push it as a thank you gift and make them feel gracious for inviting you out on a July 4th that you thought you'd be spending alone. If you're feeling cheesy, play it up with a cheap bottle of table wine.

If you can't work a way to bring something in, try not to eat too much (if you don't like how it tastes) and just spread what you take all artsy-like across your plate. But if you do like it, go for it - try to get half a plate of salad (or vegetables if they have any) and then go from there. A day won't kill you in the long run.

What do they make that is so bad that you can't eat it without gaining weight? Honestly? There has to be something that you can have that will fit into your macros.

If you are going to bring your own food, bring enough for everyone.

Also, it's one day. At some point, you are going to have to be able to handle one day with different food options.

I am sort of amazed at the people that don't think it is rude. You have accepted someone's invitation, but yet you are telling them that their hospitality and food are not up to your standards. Yeah, exceedingly rude. Even if (especially if?) it is family.

Eat before you go. Bring something to share. Talk to them ahead of time and explain that you are trying to cut calories/eat healthy and want to make sure that you are able to stick to your meal plan so you are bringing something to share. Or just exercise some self-control and limit your portions or say no (you'll have to do this either way, no?)

Or just stay home, eat salad, and be sad. But FTLOG, do not just bring your own food, especially with no advance warning. Exceedingly rude and obnoxious.

SO. Is it rude for me to bring my own packaged lunch?

Um, no. It isn't a judgement on their food, or them personally. Of course you could always just moderate eating what they cook, or not worry so much about one day of eating.