Is it rude?

PRMinx · July 2014

Wow! I got way more responses than I was expecting, that's for sure. I appreciate the input.

I don't know how much background would help, a lot of people seem to not read the entire post. But anyway, it's my family, and I have a good relationship with them. Great, actually. And it isn't going to be a huge ordeal, probably just about ten of us, but watermelon and burgers will LITERALLY be the only healthy thing there. The reason I said I "thought about bringing a dish but no one will eat it" is because no one will. I have done this before on Christmas and other occasions and I was the only one that ate any.

Yes, I could make it lunch for a few days, but I was thinking it might just be easier to bring something small that I can eat myself alongside a hamburger.

While it is a holiday and it is with family etc., I know that "one day is fine" does not ever work for me. I know my body and I have been working out a little longer daily in preparation since I actually don't really eat meat (not a vegetarian I just don't care much for it) and if I have a dessert or something. I'm just not willing to make excuses for myself because it's a holiday. But as far as my own sides I just wanted to bring something like a side salad, avocado, or even a small black bean salad.

I think I definitely will call and talk to her about it though. I appreciate that advice. My thought was that it would be more rude to turn down food and not eat much than just to bring my own stuff. But I do get picked on over there for how I eat quite a bit.

Feel free to friend me if you would like! I'm always up for some support.

Ok, cool. So you know you have your protein squared away.

What about grilling some veggies? Would they eat that?

Or a mozzarella, tomato and basil salad?

I think it's great to have a phone call. We all assume things too often. I know I have fallen into the trap. Perhaps there is something you can bring that they will like, but you just don't know what is yet.

sweetcurlz67 · July 2014

you can bring some for everyone, however, I have special dietary needs at these types of events and have to bring my own foods and if they don't like it I don't come. they'd rather have me present than not have me there - for some odd reason. if they ask why I'm not eating their food, I tell them: bbq tears my stomach up, tomatoes tear my stomach up, ______ doesn't agree with me..., if I eat that i'll lose my will power and gain all my weight back (jokingly), whatever the reason, I'm upfront and honest with them and then they are ok.

just do YOU and enjoy their company. I'm quite sure they'd rather have you there eating your food than not have you there.

PRMinx · July 2014

I think the whole situation is probably not going to be that big of a deal, honestly.

Would anyone else agree that it's less of an issue with a BBQ/cookout or big potluck dinner, than if the OP was attending a more formal "sit down dinner" with all guests being served? Because I tend to feel that way. Just curious!

Absolutely. Potluck, by nature, has guests bring something.

If someone RSVPd and came to a formal sit down dinner and brought their own food (barring severe allergies), I would be pissed. Because, as Stealth said, I probably spent a lot of money on nice things.

I agree! I also think it could just ruin the entire aesthetic...sitting down with friends to sangria and a gourmet meal and someone pops open their Rubbermaid container with a chicken breast and steamed broccoli. Just wrong!

Haha. OMG my head would explode. I would rather grill the chicken and steam the broccoli for them just so I could plate it the right way.

dnmoehring · July 2014

Wow! I got way more responses than I was expecting, that's for sure. I appreciate the input.

I don't know how much background would help, a lot of people seem to not read the entire post. But anyway, it's my family, and I have a good relationship with them. Great, actually. And it isn't going to be a huge ordeal, probably just about ten of us, but watermelon and burgers will LITERALLY be the only healthy thing there. The reason I said I "thought about bringing a dish but no one will eat it" is because no one will. I have done this before on Christmas and other occasions and I was the only one that ate any.

Yes, I could make it lunch for a few days, but I was thinking it might just be easier to bring something small that I can eat myself alongside a hamburger.

While it is a holiday and it is with family etc., I know that "one day is fine" does not ever work for me. I know my body and I have been working out a little longer daily in preparation since I actually don't really eat meat (not a vegetarian I just don't care much for it) and if I have a dessert or something. I'm just not willing to make excuses for myself because it's a holiday. But as far as my own sides I just wanted to bring something like a side salad, avocado, or even a small black bean salad.

I think I definitely will call and talk to her about it though. I appreciate that advice. My thought was that it would be more rude to turn down food and not eat much than just to bring my own stuff. But I do get picked on over there for how I eat quite a bit.

Feel free to friend me if you would like! I'm always up for some support.

Ok, cool. So you know you have your protein squared away.

What about grilling some veggies? Would they eat that?

Or a mozzarella, tomato and basil salad?

I think it's great to have a phone call. We all assume things too often. I know I have fallen into the trap. Perhaps there is something you can bring that they will like, but you just don't know what is yet.

I might try that mozzarella, tomato and basil salad! That sounds delicious. Maybe I'll just bring a big salad for everyone and my own avocado. No one will want avocado. Crazy!

dnmoehring · July 2014

Also, I'm going to be there a night and a full day. So that's why I was thinking of my own sides. I got that question a lot!

BrittanyMG3 · July 2014

I am on the 21 day fix program but SURE whatever helps you guys feel better about yourselves... totally beat down someone on the internet.. thanks a lot.

And what are you going to do after your 21 day fix?

you misunderstood what i wrote, i was referring to my family and what i meant mostly was that -I- didn't want to be a pig and i winked in a JOKING manner..i guess you took it seriously and personally. then i explained what i thought a real pig was, which is gorging on the food. then i got defensive that people were being jerks.

I am not stupid, I used 21 day fix to learn about healthier eating and portion sizes, I have been following my meal plan since march. since january i have lost nearly 70lbs, I know what i'm doing and don't need a program, i thought it was only helpful and would give me a better understanding. I am eating a minimum of 1200 calories per day, i am currently doing p90x3. lean meats, veggies, low carb, low fat, minimum sugar (only from fruits) I don't eat mayo or ketchup, no pasta sauce and NO salt.
The way that I eat is healthy enough for me to continue doing this for the rest of my life.

strbryt · July 2014

I don't think its rude at all. I have done this before and I will be doing it again in a couple of weeks. I call the person who's house I will be at for the occasion and just tell them how it is. I always say something like " I am so excited to see you and hang out but I am really trying to lose weight and I am worried about eating all the yummy food you always provide for everyone. Would you mind if I packed my lunch and brought over to eat while you all are eating?' If they love you and want to see you then they should support you.

RodaRose · July 2014

Also, I'm going to be there a night and a full day. So that's why I was thinking of my own sides. I got that question a lot!

It is a great idea to bring your own food --esp for a one night and one day event.
Take care of yourself.

momxs2 · July 2014

I would bring a veggie tray to snack on and then maybe some homemade salsa and pita chips or hummus for dips... But definitely bring enough to share with everyone. I wouldn't make a big deal of it. Actually they may like some of your healthy choices!

SkimFlatWhite68 · July 2014

I haven't read the other responses.

ETA... Ok, I went back and read the responses.

My first reaction was... Yes, it's rude. Ring your mother in law and ask what she would like you to bring. Tell her that you have been trying some new things lately and take a "plate" of something fresh and healthy, a nice salad, whatever... Don't make assumptions that no one else wont try it but if they don't then that is fine as well. You never know. As for resisting all the "junk" food. That is entirely up to you, if you want to eat healthy, you will.

My second reaction is... If you have a great relationship with them, then surely you can discuss this openly and they understand that you have certain goals and attitude toward food. By all means, take something for yourself but again, I'd still be taking a "plate" that everyone can share if they would like some.

Is it rude?

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