im getting stressed out and upset!

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Jenn421
Jenn421 Posts: 56
in Motivation and Support
well lets start off by saying i got two surgerys this year and have two nasty scars from it and i hate them as it is. Been working at my ****ty job for a few years and this year has been touch. its been one year today which is why i think im taking things too hard. but work isnt getting ne better still waiting for my boss to promated. he has been telling me all year that he was going to promate me but it doesn't seem to be happening we talked before my last surgery and he told me thing would start looking better and i would get the promation in jan. well havnt got it yet now the manager shedual is coming out for feb probably this week and i dont even want to look to see that im no on it. i dont understand what im doing wrong i worked on everyhing i been really bad at and im doing good i got everyone to respect me and listen to me and still nothing. like i feel like month after month is just a disapointment. i dont understand why everything is so hard for me. i can't handle the consident dispoitment after dispoitment. i dont know what to do. ohhh and he promated 2 people to manager under me. cuz i needed a few weeks off for my recovery for surgerys.

then a few customers keep getting rude to me about my weight and i got yelled at onces saying how about you slow down on the ****ing big macs you fat *kitten* C*** not even going to say that word. and then i always get people at work making fun of me and its hard to stay postive and stay on track when all i want to do is cry most the time and i always get customers ask me about my arm and kids always pointing at my scar and i feel horrible about the way i look when people really have to be that rude to me its really hard to deal with.

sometimes i just feel like there is no point of doing this n e more i feel like i try and fail try and fail every motn and just cant do it n e more and not sure what to do. if someone has n e advice for me and something to help i would aprecaite it
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Replies

  • rebeccaoneillcarter
    rebeccaoneillcarter Posts: 51
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    You are so strong and capable! Look at what you've accomplished already! Don't let anyone control how you feel, especially small minded idiots. We're rooting for you here.
  • kellystar2
    kellystar2 Posts: 20
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    Sounds like you have had a rough time. But no matter what others do or say you have to try to stay positive. Don't let others get you down, then they win. You just keep your head up.
  • kellystar2
    kellystar2 Posts: 20
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    Sounds like you have had a rough time. But no matter what others do or say you have to try to stay positive. Don't let others get you down, then they win. You just keep your head up.
  • wawa39
    wawa39 Posts: 12
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    It is so un professional for anyone at work to treat you badly. If you have a human resource area I would suggest going to them. Do not let other people dictate who you are today. Your weight is not who you are at all it is the person you project on the outside. When people stare at your scars explain to them what is wrong or what happened just be matter of fact if you see them staring say yes I have these scars but I am better now. I have a scar that runs from my belly button to my neither region and I am proud of it because I survived! Remember you decide who you are.
  • Jenn421
    Jenn421 Posts: 56
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    thank you
  • clutzeemeg
    clutzeemeg Posts: 6
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    First of all ... you're a beautiful girl! And, want to know why you keep going? Not that healthy, blah blah blah stuff ... but you don't want to hit 200. Get as far from it as you can! Get friends on here and get encouragement every single day! Screw those people who called you such a horrible thing! You keep going my dear! And let us hold you up when it's hard to do so on your own.

    Would love to be friends!
    Beth
  • Nichelle27
    Nichelle27 Posts: 2 Member
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    You are always going to encounter people like that hun. I have had my share of names being called to me and what makes it worse for me is the fact that it's family. But you take that negative energy and turn in into something positive for yourself. You MUST look to the future and know what you WILL look like and how much healthier you WiLL be. Life is too short to let idiots slow you down. Keep your head up and if you ever need to vent, I'm all ears. Take care and smile! Hugs :):heart:
  • janelle1993
    janelle1993 Posts: 128
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    Don't let your job keep your from reaching your other goals. It sounds like your boss is being a jerk for telling you, you would be getting promoted and then not do it. I seen that you have been reaching your goals which woohoo! good for you girl focus on that and not your jerk of a boss. For the customers don't let them bring you down. If you need support on here add me as a friend.
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,022 Member
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    I am so sorry to hear you have had such a rough year. People can be really mean and so rude. You need to realize that usually when people put others down it is because they dont feel good about themselves (it doesnt make it right, Im just saying). Hang in there you have came so far and you can do this. Just stick with it, things will get better. ((((HUG)))
  • elid
    elid Posts: 209 Member
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    If you think your professional relationship with your boss is strong enough, why not bring the promotion up sometime? If you've talked about it in the past, I think it's entirely reasonable to ask if that's still going to happen. (There's always a chance someone is going to get mad if you bring it up, so you'll have to be the judge of that, but IMO that's a sign of a really dysfunctional professional relationship.)

    Don't worry about people pointing at that scar--maybe they think it's cool. I think scars are cool. :)

    Don't give up though. The confidence people gain from weight loss and exercise is not something to ignore, and looking at your ticker, it looks like you've done a good job so far. You should be proud!
  • sarahsmom1
    sarahsmom1 Posts: 1,501 Member
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    What kind of work do you do? And for the scars they will lighten and not be as noticeable in time. And some people are just rude. Maybe your manager con not put you in a higher position until he knows your surgery s are done. Its harder to replace management than regular employees.
  • Elokyn
    Elokyn Posts: 448 Member
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    You are gorgeous, those people are awful. You should have some kind of complaint line or abuse line you can call and you should, that's bull**** that coworkers are talking to you that way. And customer - it's hard to say anything without getting into trouble but you deserve so much more than that! I'm sorry you've had those experiences but were all here for you! Those people are *kitten*!
  • bubbles079
    bubbles079 Posts: 26
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    Just think about how good you will feel when you have lost the weight you wanted to lose and look great that is the greatest IN YOUR FACE I can think of. Stop being so hard on your self your doing a great job don't stop now it sounds like you need some serious me time that is what I call it when I shut everyone down and think about what I want to do and what makes me happy even if its only for a few hours a week it is important to have me time . Treat your self to something you have wanted for a while to celebrate the weight you have already lost and plan on a treat when you reach the next goal. As for the scar try some coco butter or aloe I hear it helps and stop beating your self up over it its one of those things that we can't change and must learn to live with even if we don't like it.Also try to explain to your kids that it hurts your feeling when the point it out I don't know how old they are but most 5 year old understand that its not a good feeling.Please just take some me time regroup and keep going this is a test for bigger and better things to come. If you need to vent feel free to inbox me I'm usually on most of the day as I have surgery scars and still have pain but I tell if I don't make a big deal out of them no one else will either and if they do I nicely point out some of their issues cause we all have them.
  • elizalily
    elizalily Posts: 1
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    Run before you eat breakfast even if you can only do 100m and back, you will feel better have more energy and by the next week you will be runnning and more and feeling better. just a quick jog try up and down your back garden or drive way lounge, hallway, up the road around a park what ever you have RUN LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING! anything to get the heart puming, suck in the oxygen, deep breaths, pull and hold your tummy in, sholders out-stand strong. You can do anything you like and your are a winner.
  • jenn50
    jenn50 Posts: 81
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    I have a similar problem. I've been at my job for 2 yrs next month and keep being told i'll be promoted. well ppl under me get promoted and i'm still there thinking what the hell. I work hard and know what i;m doing. for things i don't know i'll ask. But it's like they wont give me the time of day to show them i know what i'm doing. and i get fussed at for everything. so this yr my main focus is myself..

    I want to lose weight so i'm working on it. I can't stand the disrespect I get at work so i have another job where i'm my own boss. (got lucky here). I want to focus on losing this weight becoming the "hot" chick ppl envy. and continuing on with my life knowing i did it. I'm slowly but surely beginning to tell ppl off and they respect me better. I can't stand half the ppl I work with.

    If one manager won't listen go to another one. I got fussed out by my dept manager but another dept manager stood up for me and tells ppl how hard i work. for so long he wanted me to work under him and next month i'll get to. Can't wait!! I'm so sick of ppl who haven't been there as long as I have acting like they are better just because they kissed *kitten* and suck d**k to get where they are. I don't play that game.

    About the scar....I have one on my neck about an inch long and one on my stomach about a foot long. Kids, when they see it, always say eww gross. My smart *kitten* self tells them it;s just a scar.

    Just don't focus on what other ppl say. Focus on yourself and know how beautiful you are and how great you are. If i were you i would talk to the manager who said they were gonna promote you and be like look "i know i had to be out for my surgery but it wasn't like i was just out to be out. You keep telling me i'm gonna be promoted. I've been here this long and i haven't seen and improvement. Tell me what i need to do or i'll talk to someone above you."

    Hope this helps you!
  • KimbersNewLife
    KimbersNewLife Posts: 645 Member
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    I agree with Nichelle Life is too short I have people like that in my life too. As for the promotion, I know it is hard being passed over trust me. I work for a large corporation, have for 15 years and it is ssooo hard you feel like you work your butt off for nothing. You know what happened to me? I got a job I love at my corporation by just focusing on me just me. I started logging all my food workingout, gaining energy and losing weight and work just feel into place. I found out later my energy and enthusiasm for life is what caught there attention. See I finally quit focusing on them and they came to me. Try that. As for the insults I got news for you it only get worst and there is one word for it Jealousy they are jealous because we are so beautiful. I promise if you pay attention the people who insult you have their own problems. I will give you and example I recently went to Victoria's secret for a bra fitting. I was a size 36 D and had lost a lot of weight. My boobs kept falling under the wire LOL. So I went in, knowing I have lost inches all excited and asked for a fitting. The girl that took my "measurement: did it over my COAT!!! And held it way out in the air and said very loudly, "You are too big we do not have ANYTHING in this store for you I do not know where you can get a size of 45 inches around and you are between a C and D cup." I was SHOCKED! And trust me when I tell you this I will Never buy anything there again. Anyway I was like "what!" She proceeded to try to explain "measurements to me" Well I took my shirt off, we were in the dressing room, showed her my beautiful red size 36D Victoria's secret bra and said how come this one looks too big. She had the nerve to say "You stretched it" Anyway I went to Macy's were I was immediately put into a 34C that fit beautifully- I love it have it on right now! The sales girl pointed something out to me too she said "What was that girl a negative A cup. Upon thinking about it that girl really had no boobs at all she was jealous. Just something to think about. HUGS!!!:smile::laugh:
  • Scarletblue
    Scarletblue Posts: 255
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    To me it sounds like you may want to look into counseling to help you cope with your self image. losing wieght will only solve your wieght problems. It is not a cure all like once your at your ideal wieght all will be better, you will still have the scars that bother you.
    You will still have the job that is disappointing you and the comments and disrepect that upsets you will still hurt since thin people get disrepected all the time as well.

    The fact that you are on here and trying to better yourself is the first step in taking control of yourself and the way you want to be perceived.
    Demand respect from your job ask your boss to be honest with you about your promotion are you getting one or not, if not what do you need to do to become the next manager, your surgeries may have pushed you to the back of the line for promotions, but you need to know that so you can decide if you want to stay with the company or move on.

    Good luck on all that is going on in your life....... but it is your life and when you say you don't know what the point is- the point is it's your life and only you can live it. You just have to decide how you want to live it and then do it.
    sorry so long.
  • teeminus30
    teeminus30 Posts: 14 Member
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    I don't like it when people get preach-y and I am not over the top religious but my favorite church song goes like this, "This joy I have, the world didn't give it to me (repeat 2x). The world didn't give it, the world can't take it away"! Don't let them steal your joy. It looks to me like you are making great progress. It's hard to stay inspired. Keep on keeping on girl. You can do it. Don't let them win.
  • Scarletblue
    Scarletblue Posts: 255
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    sorry I forgot to mention your pic is beautiful and your staying on track with your losing wieght you seem to be doing an amazing job regardless of your lack of compassion that you recieve from outsiders.
  • Jenn421
    Jenn421 Posts: 56
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    thanks everyone you have made me feel a bit better. i knew today would be a hard day for me. i just wanted too add both my scars are on my right elbow so there very noticeable.. i work at mcdonalds and i broke my arm at work! to make it worse. everyone thinks im such a joke and sometimes i get soo annoyed i walk away and everything is so hard for me physically i dont know why jay (my boss) feels like he has to make it even worse for me ive done everytthing he has asked and im the most relibably and trust worthy empoyee they have but yet still get ****ed over

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