The single dumbest thing.....

headofphat
headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
in Chit-Chat
....that you've ever heard someone say? It can't be a joke either. It has to be something that you heard someone say that is genuinely the dumbest thing you've ever heard.

I'll start.

As a teenager I got a ticket because I was allegedly going too fast for conditions and spun out and hit a pole. When the police showed up I told them that i wasn't really going that fast but my tires were a little worn and I lost traction. The, obviously super intelligent, police officer told me that cars with slick tires have more traction. :huh: Even though i was a dumb teenager I had to ask him how he figured that was the case. He proceeded to tell me that's why they use slick tires in NASCAR because they get better traction....smh. I asked him to hurry up and write the ticket so I could get away from him.

Replies

  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    Me: Ugh, I hate when people talk about Africa like it's a country.
    My Favorite Cousin: I know, right! What is the capital of Africa again?

    A classmate: I love Red Hot Chilli Peppers! Do you?
    Me: Yeah, sometimes! I like them on hot dogs sometimes.
    A classmate: I was talking about the band.
  • BoatsnHose
    BoatsnHose Posts: 120 Member
    Some girl at a college football game asked where the yellow first down line was at on the field
  • _Resolve_
    _Resolve_ Posts: 735 Member
    my boss asked me for the area code to a customer, I gave him the 3 digit area code for the phone number. He yelled at me and said "Give me the 5 digit area code for his address" I corrected him and gave him the zip code.

    "next time give me what I want"

    Yes, he doesn't know the difference between an area code a zip-code,
  • Bucky83
    Bucky83 Posts: 1,194 Member
    From the mouth of a 39 year old who was a part of a 12-person tour in Italy a few years ago:

    Her: "The equator? Isn't it at the North Pole?"

    Her when reading the menu item that clearly says 'prosciutto': "Is there prosciutto in this? I can only have cured meat."

    ETA: Not me, I'm only 31. She also worked as a Day Care teacher. SMH
  • meluhneekay
    meluhneekay Posts: 82
    A few years ago: co-worker asked me what I was studying in college. I told him psychology. His response: "Oh cool so you can, like, read peoples minds and see ghosts or whatever?"

    I was too embarrassed for him to call him out, so I just said, "Uh, I want to be a therapist..." and left it at that.
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
    I can follow up on the cop thing......I once asked a cop to let me off with a warning since I started working for the start and I didn't want to inform my supervisor. He reported to him if he let me off once he would have to let everyone off......I was like WTF ever.;..LOL

    I dislike cops with great passion.

    note: one of my best friends is a cop

    Having a pair of tatas works wonders with them. (:
  • mestacy010
    mestacy010 Posts: 577 Member
    Whether my boobs were real or not :p
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
    I asked a new guy at work to peel me an onion. He asked how. I didn't really give him instructions because I thought it was common sense.

    He peeled it like a potato.
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    Whether my boobs were real or not :p

    OMgz, bewbs...
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
    Sister (9 yo) to brother (5 yo): You are so dumb I bet you don't even know what half of 50 is!
    Brother had no clue so said nothing
    Sister: It's 23, so there!

    I laughed and laughed all day about that.
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
    Sister (9 yo) to brother (5 yo): You are so dumb I bet you don't even know what half of 50 is!
    Brother had no clue so said nothing
    Sister: It's 23, so there!

    I laughed and laughed all day about that.

    Kids say the cutest things though lol. My little nephew who is 8 was walking by my door when I told him my sisters water had just broke. He looked at me and said, "on her sink?" I laughed and said no, that her baby was coming soon. He then looked at me and said, "wait, her water broke on her middle spot?... EW." Hahaha.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    I was working room service and the phone rang:

    Guest: What's the soup of the day?
    Me: Pea and Ham
    Guest: Is that vegetarian?

    I was working in a pub with a huge beer garden. Customer walks in the gate, across the garden (filled with tables, chairs and people drinking), up the stairs, into the cafe area, up to the counter and asks "Excuse me, is the beer garden outside?"

    Walking out of a cinema with my 8 year old cousin after watching Ice Age 3D. One of the two teenage girls in front of us turns to the other and says "that was so cool! I wish real life was in 3D"
  • MaaKeMeThinn3r
    MaaKeMeThinn3r Posts: 135 Member
    Random guy at the store: I don't mean to stare but your boobs are amazing
    Me: Thanks *smiles and walks away*
    Random guy:*runs to catch up with me and stands in front of me* Would you mind if I touched them?
    Me: Uh yes I would..leave me alone
    Random guy: Fine ***** they're probably fake anyways..


    *ROLLING MY EYES* that's guys for ya
  • Ivey05131980
    Ivey05131980 Posts: 1,118 Member
    Somebody asked a female friend of mine if her twin BROTHER was identical or fraternal.


    idiotNFL.gif
  • tehboxingkitteh
    tehboxingkitteh Posts: 1,574 Member
    Someone once asked if my tattoo was real.

    Mind you, this is a big piece with all the colors of the rainbow, and I have lots of visible tattoos.
  • Megan101792
    Megan101792 Posts: 3,194 Member
    Somebody asked a female friend of mine if her twin BROTHER was identical or fraternal.


    idiotNFL.gif


    Seriously?
  • CamilleJackie350
    CamilleJackie350 Posts: 124
    Random guy at the store: I don't mean to stare but your boobs are amazing
    Me: Thanks *smiles and walks away*
    Random guy:*runs to catch up with me and stands in front of me* Would you mind if I touched them?
    Me: Uh yes I would..leave me alone
    Random guy: Fine ***** they're probably fake anyways..


    *ROLLING MY EYES* that's guys for ya

    this happened..

    ZhUlOHm.png
  • aedreana
    aedreana Posts: 979 Member
    I have heard this line from several different people in different states who don't even know each other:
    "It isn't what happens that matters; what matters is how you perceive it."

    That is THE most absurd statement ever spoken; honorable mention goes to: "Everything happens for a reason."
  • LumberJacck
    LumberJacck Posts: 559 Member
    I casually asked her how old planet earth was. Her answer: 100 years. She wasn't joking.
  • LumberJacck
    LumberJacck Posts: 559 Member
    I have heard this line from several different people in different states who don't even know each other:
    "It isn't what happens that matters; what matters is how you perceive it."

    That is THE most absurd statement ever spoken;

    Actually I would tend to agree with that. Suppose your parent dies. How you react to that happening can have long lasting consequences.
  • walleyclan1
    walleyclan1 Posts: 2,784 Member
    A friend of mine was talking about a tupac movie and I asked "An old one?"
  • walleyclan1
    walleyclan1 Posts: 2,784 Member
    At a drive through, I was once asked "For here or to go?"
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    In high school, this girl in my Spanish class argued with everyone that dogs speak different languages, just like people. She said that when her dog was in Mexico on a family trip, he couldn't understand the other Mexican dogs. :noway: Rolling my eyes at the memory...
  • mybeesknees
    mybeesknees Posts: 633
    When I was eight, I told a man that my sister was expecting and I was going to have a nephew born in June. He asked me if the baby was going to be a boy or a girl. *Face palm*.
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
    A few years ago: co-worker asked me what I was studying in college. I told him psychology. His response: "Oh cool so you can, like, read peoples minds and see ghosts or whatever?"

    I was too embarrassed for him to call him out, so I just said, "Uh, I want to be a therapist..." and left it at that.

    So wait. Psychologists can't read minds or see ghosts? What?
  • aimozz
    aimozz Posts: 27
    There was an ad on the tv where someone said "to be or not to be, that is the question", and my sister asked me if that was the real Hitler saying that. I had to explain to her that it was a Shakespeare quote, not a Hitler quote, and that both of them were dead.
  • PinkyFett
    PinkyFett Posts: 842 Member
    There's too many stuoid things to choose from

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