I have to say this...

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That_Girl
That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've been on this site's boards for one night.

I am again finding my motivation and hope.

I don't know any of you, and yet I feel like I'm at home here. I feel I can be honest and open about my weight and I'm not told flippant answers. I am not ignored.

Tonight, I was finally honest with myself and admitted that I am 'the fat girl' that I have always said I'd never be. I am ashamed that I let it get so out of hand. I am embarrassed of the shell I am inhabiting because you see, I am still the person I was at 120 pounds. I am still that woman, just bigger. I am just not happy with the body in which my soul resides.

I can feel my thought process changing about my weight. Instead of letting it control me, I finally feel like I can control it.

I have become somewhat of a hermit and tend to only allow myself to be around those people who know me at this weight. I shun old friends and make up excuses as to why I cannot hang out with them--- because if they saw me this way, it would break my heart.

So...thank you for the motivation and support. It means so much.

Replies

  • odaatsue
    odaatsue Posts: 59
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    Welcome aboard! It's good to have you here!
  • katherines2230
    katherines2230 Posts: 276 Member
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    Hi there and welcome!!! I am a newbie also and I completely agree with you in the amount of support found on these boards. I've been on some that were anything BUT supportive! I too am the fat girl I said I'd never be. Told myself I'd never ever let the scale hit 200 or more but its been that way for a while. But with the support I've found here, my weight loss goal of 40+ pounds no longer seems impossible! I'd love to add you as a friend!
  • michelle_mareshfuehrer
    michelle_mareshfuehrer Posts: 312 Member
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    I totally understand where you are coming from. I've had moments where I avoid people from the past if I see them around because I don't want them to make comments or assumptions about me. I always dread the "Gosh you look so different" comment. This year is my 10 year high school reunion and I'm 70 lbs. heavier than I was in high school. I have PCOS and insulin resistance and gained weight due to the way my body began not processing sugar. No one who knew me then would know that, though. This community makes me feel good and I know that I will reach my goals because I have a fantastic support group of tons of people in the same position, with the same goals and feelings. We can do it!! :) Welcome to the community!
  • hiltonh
    hiltonh Posts: 5 Member
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    I completly understand what you are talking about!! I am reading this book called "Secrets from a Former Fat Girl" Ill tell you she hits on all of those points you just said!!! I know what it feels like to be ashamed of the way you look. And just 2 weeks ago I didnt go to a reunion because I was afraid people would be shocked at how much weight I gained! We are in this together. Nobody understands you like those fighting the same fight. Let me know if there is anything I can do!
  • leweverling
    leweverling Posts: 45
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    Totally understand how you feel, and welcome aboard! Can't wait to see your successful results!
  • Shawnalee0703
    Shawnalee0703 Posts: 1,093
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    That is what this site is for. It is an amazing place for people with common and also very different goals and aspirations to collide and create success! You will do amazing things and we are all here to cheer you on and knock you around a little if you need it! As we would expect from you! ;) Or at least I would! haha

    I am glad you have found us! Happy you are here!
  • nilisabel
    nilisabel Posts: 338
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    I read that part about shunning old friends and thought "oh my gosh, me too!" I am totally embarrassed not just of my fatness, but of my yo-yo-iness. People have flat out told me, "you just go up and down don't you?!" And I feel like, "what the heck people? Like you're so normal just because you don't show your coping status on the outside?" Personally, I feel like I'm a tad more honest than most, because frankly, it's hard to lie when your metabolism doesn't cover for you, know what I mean? If not, sorry for the late-night rant, but for those who understand this at all, thanks and I hope it helps somehow.
  • Bermudabarbie
    Bermudabarbie Posts: 568 Member
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    One of the most beneficial aspects of MFP is the Community Support. I just love these boards! We all have our individual weight loss/ fitness goals as we continue to learn and receive encouragement and motivation from our MFP friends and the others in the community.

    This help is available to any member 24/7 for free. What could be better, right? I have made wonderful MFP friends throughout many counties as I often sign-in at crazy times of night!

    Yes, this is a wonderful, unique site. It's great to have you here. Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like.

    Good luck to you in reaching your goals.
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
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    I think the big thing is that with "normal" people (hahahaa my thin friends or just my friends in general) usually think someone is fishing for a compliment or a "oh you look great" comment when I say I want to lose weight.

    That's not it a'tall. I like that I can come here and say, "HEY! I'm FAT! I am going to KICK THIS WEIGHT!" and people say WOOT! instead of some empty comment.


    I know who I am. I love WHO I am. I just don't like the package at the moment. I don't need compliments, I need support.....and I have found it here. <3
  • Jena_72
    Jena_72 Posts: 1,057
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    You Got This Girl!!! :bigsmile:
  • nilisabel
    nilisabel Posts: 338
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    well I'm glad you're here! best blog I've seen!
  • gunnparker
    gunnparker Posts: 18
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    Welcome. :)
  • nubreeze33
    nubreeze33 Posts: 270
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    hugs.....welcome!
  • downtome
    downtome Posts: 529 Member
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    If it wasn't for this website, I would have probally fallen off the diet wagon by now. When ever I feel the urge to eat something that I shouldn't, I come here and read, read, read! This site is so motivationg and the people on here are just awesome and supportive! I finally found what I was looking for after all these years of faliure. Well, no more! Success all the way. I'm going to be that 155 pounds I know I can be. I know it won't come overnight but I'm in for the long haul. Some days are better than others but I plan on hangin tuff. Welcome to MFP!
  • annadilynn
    annadilynn Posts: 84
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    totally true...i hate it when people tell ya that "oh you dont need to lose weight"...when the truth is by the government standards weight chart your in the "morbidly obese" area....it took some pictures at a recent celebration to kick me into high gear and realize..that i need to tune out the people telling me i am fine just the way i am, because it will kill me in the long run, its not healthy to be too big...So, total support here!
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
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    This is like Facebook for fat people. I LOVE IT.

    :)

    Well, fat people who are turning into thin people.

    But it helps my motivation because like someone said, I just come on here and post and read and keep my hands busy!

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