Reality check.

If your friend is considering staying or leaving, then leaving is the option. If he/she did not mind they would not put it on the table.

"I think if you are committed to someone, you are committed to them. It might be difficult for you to watch the downward spiral, but think of the rewards of watching your partner find his/her wings and flying again"


It would be VERY difficult. In my world, though, I took a vow, for better or worse, in sickness in health.........so I signed up for seeing it through!!

When my husband and I dated in high school, he was a bit overweight but not much. When I went to college we lost touch, and over several years he gained weight and was over 300 pounds when we met up again. I was still interested in him and we dated for a little over a year and got engaged. We both lost weight for the wedding, we've both yo-yo'd a bit since our wedding 5 years ago but he's never gotten as big as he was when started dating again. Now I've lost 20 pounds since March and he's lost 40. Sometimes he's insecure about his weight but I remind him that when we started dating he was the biggest he's ever been and I was still interested. I love him for who he is, but I do care about his health which is why I cook most of our meals at home and we encourage each other to stay healthy, we've both started running, etc. So for me, no, him gaining weight would not cause me to leave. But I agree that it's different when you're married vs dating. If you're dating someone and you aren't happy with who they are anymore (whether it's their weight or other issues) and they have no intention of changing, it's time to leave.

There is far more to a situation like that than meets the eye. Is the person depressed? that would be my first guess. Is the person unhappy in the relationship and is trying to get you to end it instead of doing it himself? Is he going through a stressful situation and this is how he copes? Do you love him to find out what is wrong?

I can't give a leave him or don't leave him answer. There has to be more to this other than him just giving up. But you can't force him to work out and lose weight. He needs to do that himself.

Maybee...but how much do you tolerate? "depression" is a loaded phrase, and catch all for the medical community these days. Oddly enough the best "cure" for most depression is healthy eating and exercise...

I'm sorry. YOu clearly know nothing about depression or mental illness. Thats why the last topic got rage quit. Please. Pick up a damn textbook on the issue.

If your partner or spouse, who was healthy and fit when you met, all of a sudden gains 100 pounds, stops taking care of themself, and states "this is how I am really, deal with it", do you stay or go? Lets assume they do NOT have a medical condition, and just went back to their "old ways"from before they met you. Do you stay or go?

How do you gain 100lbs 'all of a sudden'???

KFC

If your partner or spouse, who was healthy and fit when you met, all of a sudden gains 100 pounds, stops taking care of themself, and states "this is how I am really, deal with it", do you stay or go? Lets assume they do NOT have a medical condition, and just went back to their "old ways"from before they met you. Do you stay or go?

How do you gain 100lbs 'all of a sudden'???

KFC

:laugh: Or Five Guys.

There is far more to a situation like that than meets the eye. Is the person depressed? that would be my first guess. Is the person unhappy in the relationship and is trying to get you to end it instead of doing it himself? Is he going through a stressful situation and this is how he copes? Do you love him to find out what is wrong?

I can't give a leave him or don't leave him answer. There has to be more to this other than him just giving up. But you can't force him to work out and lose weight. He needs to do that himself.

Maybee...but how much do you tolerate? "depression" is a loaded phrase, and catch all for the medical community these days.

Oddly enough the best "cure" for most depression is healthy eating and exercise...

Strange that. When I was slim, eating well and going to the gym, I still had depression. Maybe I'm not doing it right?

Obviously you needed to lift heavier.

Depends if you actually love him or not. There's nothing my bf could change about his body that would make me leave him.

what if he pulled a Van Gogh and cut off his own ear as a birthday present to you

now THAT would be true love

Of course not, if I loved them before the 100lbs then nothing about having more weight on their body could effect that.

There is far more to a situation like that than meets the eye. Is the person depressed? that would be my first guess. Is the person unhappy in the relationship and is trying to get you to end it instead of doing it himself? Is he going through a stressful situation and this is how he copes? Do you love him to find out what is wrong?

I can't give a leave him or don't leave him answer. There has to be more to this other than him just giving up. But you can't force him to work out and lose weight. He needs to do that himself.

Maybee...but how much do you tolerate? "depression" is a loaded phrase, and catch all for the medical community these days.

Oddly enough the best "cure" for most depression is healthy eating and exercise...

Strange that. When I was slim, eating well and going to the gym, I still had depression. Maybe I'm not doing it right?

Obviously you needed to lift heavier.

A health professor at a big university once told me i could cure my depression with a cave man diet. I reported her to the ethics board.

But obviously the cure is APple cider vinegar can cure depression. tahts what a blog told me.