I just need to vent! Bad influences...

2

Replies

  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
    Throw them away. Problem solved. He puts something on your desk that you don't want then just throw it away.
  • cheripugh1
    cheripugh1 Posts: 357 Member
    A few months ago I started doing crossfit (and before I get any crossfit haters...I just need something structured so I don't slack off) and I was eating VERY healthy! I got rid of all my belly bloat and was looking good! Then I started having to work 6 days a week for a project at work. I managed to maintain my healthy eating with a few cheats here and there.

    The Project has extended and I am now working 7 days a week (just at 70 hours a week) and mix in a move on top of that. I haven't worked out in over 2 weeks and when the project extended food was catered pretty often and because I was too tired to cook at home I ate it.

    Now I'm trying to get healthy again and get back to the gym, the project ends in a week. HOWEVER I have a co-worker who is a bad influence. He sets candybars and cupcakes and stuff on my desk after I SPECIFICALLY say I DO NOT WANT ONE! I don't have very good self control when it comes to sweets.

    Currently there is a chocolate cupcake with buttercream frosting sitting on the panel that seperates my desk from his and I told him I don't want it but he won't move it! I just don't understand why people won't respect others that are trying to be healthy!

    Thanks for the vent....I havent been on here in a long long time and have fallen way off the wagon :(

    You have options and you own that body so what goes in is totally your choice... I understand I have a roommate that does this, I've learned to make the freezer my friend or the garbage can is... Some people think it won't hurt you, or like many (including on here) they think they know what is right for you... so here are your options at work, you can, as someone said put it in your calorie count and eat it, you can offer it to someone else or put it in the break room... or you can garbage can it. I hate to waste food but I hate to hurt my body too and trust me if he sees it in the can a few times he'll stop.
  • Caper88
    Caper88 Posts: 418 Member
    I'm with the others. He is probably doing it because he is a d-bag and thinks your reactions are funny. When it places it their, don't say a word to him, just put it in the garbage and continue with your day. If he asks why you put it in the trash I would only respond with "Thanks for the offer but I didn't want it". I wouldn't continue to argue with him if he response back. He will eventually stop and the people around your office will realize how childish he is.
  • engodwin
    engodwin Posts: 516 Member
    If you don't want it and he says he doesn't want it, throw it away. Maybe then he'll get the hint. He most likely wants you to eat this stuff so he won't feel guilty for eating it himself.

    This!
  • LucasEVille
    LucasEVille Posts: 567 Member
    He most likely wants you to eat this stuff so he won't feel guilty for eating it himself.

    I had a colleague who had gone through fad diet after fad diet... The last one was very successful according to her, if you can count a 500kcal VLCD as a success. She hadn't tackled the original reasons for her weight and so she gained it all back after. She then went on a sustained campaign of trying to get me to eat cake with her, it must have really hurt to be going in the opposite way but she wouldn't take advice from anyone.
  • becs3578
    becs3578 Posts: 836 Member
    So as to NOT start WWIII... I would get a basket, bin etc... from somewhere in the office.. put the food in it.. and put in the common area with a note. FOr Everyone.. Please Enjoy!

    You are doing something nice and you don't have to see it!
  • carrieous
    carrieous Posts: 1,024 Member
    that's terrible. I would throw them in the trash and make sure he sees me do it. maybe once he sees his money going in the garbage he will stop
  • viva_la_mandee
    viva_la_mandee Posts: 12
    I know the feeling. I have been losing weight for about 3 months, and have been off of sweets for that long. Whenever my best friend and I hang out, she always wants to go get candy or ice cream or cupcakes. The will power is so hard to muster up sometimes.

    Did you two eat junk food together before you started your healthy lifestyle? He might be trying to throw you off so he doesn't lose his junk food buddy. I feel like that is what is happening with my bff and I.
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
    Leave it there. At the end of the day, thank him for the willpower test. Then eye him up and down with the thought that he could try it himself sometime.

    Yes, I'm evil.
  • Sherbog
    Sherbog Posts: 1,072 Member
    My goodness if that's what it takes for you to vent then your lucky. Several above have said it...throw it away and move on girl.
  • CynthiaT60
    CynthiaT60 Posts: 1,280 Member
    I'll bet he's doing it because of your reaction. Instead thank him for the food then toss it immediately into the garbage bin while he's watching. Once he realizes he won't get a reaction and you won't play the game, he'll stop.
    +1
  • kaseyr1505
    kaseyr1505 Posts: 624 Member
    Step one: Throw it away
    Step two: move on
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    Next time he leaves you a treat, politely tell him "thank you" and promptly throw it in the trash, preferably while he watches.
  • Bustergirl14
    Bustergirl14 Posts: 69 Member
    I really, really want a cupcake now. :happy:
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,535 Member
    Oh honey, he's doing this cuz HE thinks its funny??!? I'd squish it up in a tiny ball with my bare hands right in front of him and toss it in HIS trash can LOL :laugh:

    Or take it and sharpen a TON of pencils and use it for a pencil holder! :laugh: :laugh: (think pin-cushion amount)

    And he STILL does it? Game on sister! Be creative in how you will destroy his tiny cupcake! White-out poured all over it? A large stapler staple the heck thru it all till its pulverized? He still think it funny? Come up with something else....use against him what HE LIKES in the way of sports? LIke put a post-it pix size of his fav team and then pulverize it.

    There ya go....:wink:

    (ps: ya gotta have a little fun in a 70-hr 7/day a week torture job like what is going on)
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
    The sad truth is some people really, really do want to sabotage peoples diet for their own pleasure.

    I have a close friend that does this and I can't wrap my head around it.

    Over and over as the years go by (been dieting over 2 years now) "Come on, one cheat won't hurt, it's on me, come out with your old friend." The few times I did I felt literally sick to my stomach afterwards and he would just look at me in the eyes and say "I'm sorry your tummy hurts. You can get back on your diet tomorrow."

    But he never snapped out of it, now we only see each other once every few months or only very briefly so I can be sure no food or opprotunities for food come up. Which is really, really sad. But at somepoint I had to be like "Hey, I control this. I control where I go, what I do, what influences become upon me, and what goes into my mouth."

    Unfortunately, I don't see that friend as often anymore.

    I think it's psychological.

    I think they love watching you struggle in your mind with the self-control and when they finally see someone break, they feel like they have accomplished something by breaking you of your free-will.

    It excites and entertains them that they were able to defeat you.

    It's very sad, but happens.
  • salvationsdying
    salvationsdying Posts: 205 Member
    I agree with half these ideas lol. But honestly next time he puts one there, stand right up grab it, walk into his area say loud and clear "I've said I do NOT want these sweets! DO NOT put one there again" and toss it in his trash can. Then smile sweetly and say enjoy you day and walk away. If that doesn't work start pushing it over his desk and play it off. If he think he's being a douche go right over with cupcake in hand tell him you've already refused, toss it and walk away. Don't let others bring you down!

    My dad when I go to visit is always trying to give me sodas and the table is always covered in sweets and junk. At first it was hard but I just kept reminding myself why I was saying no. Now 137 days in I'm not near as tempted and he doesn't ask as much. My dads the "fat and happy" type and has told me since I was a teenager just to except my body and be happy. But I refuse to let him tell me that anymore!
  • rbiss
    rbiss Posts: 422 Member
    Definitely throw it in the trash while he is watching. That's a pretty strong message.
  • Saramelie
    Saramelie Posts: 308 Member
    [quote


    '''
    Currently there is a chocolate cupcake with buttercream frosting sitting on the panel that seperates my desk from his and I told him I don't want it but he won't move it! I just don't understand why people won't respect others that are trying to be healthy!'''

    [/quote]
    He's probably thinking the same thing about you, that you can't respect his wish to keep his food wherever. I am sorry but the world won't stop spinning because you are on a diet. You have to exert self control. It is not the job of others to keep it all perfect around you. You don't want the chocolate or cake, then throw them out! Seems childish to me...
  • SweeDecadence92
    SweeDecadence92 Posts: 218 Member
    I would just politely refuse the treats and if he persists toss them out or leave them in the staff room with a "Free Cake!" note or something. I would give him a big reaction or make a big deal about it.

    Really if you think he's doing it to disrespect or taunt you your really only letting yourself down by eating it and giving him a big reaction. For me at that point, it becomes less about the food and more about your colleagues actions.
  • LizMarx2014
    LizMarx2014 Posts: 9
    Mash it up all over the seat of his chair when no one is looking. And if anybody asks, swear up and down it wasn't you.
  • caracrawford1
    caracrawford1 Posts: 657 Member
    Remember what he puts into his body is his businesses, what you put into your body is your business. Your co-worker has no respect for boundaries. Personally, I have to turn down baked goods often because of a gluten allergy. When people do things like insist on placing those "goodie" items on my desk after I've refused...well I discreetly throw them away. If the co-worker asks I just smile and thank them. It's all about your personal choices. He's trying to get someone to be bad with him to excuse or justify his bad eating behavior.

    Stay strong. :)
    For the most part I agree with you. I just take issue with putting value judgments on food. Be careful with that. A cupcake isn't "bad" and eating a cupcake isn't "bad behavior" everything in moderation is OK. If you can not fit said cupcake or sweet into your calories for the day then don't eat it. If you eat it and this overeat for the day, no one has sabotaged or "played games" with you but yourself. Personal responsibility and self control.
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
    Mash it up all over the seat of his chair when no one is looking. And if anybody asks, swear up and down it wasn't you.

    This is my favorite response! LMAO!
  • LifeWithPie
    LifeWithPie Posts: 552 Member

    For the most part I agree with you. I just take issue with putting value judgments on food. Be careful with that. A cupcake isn't "bad" and eating a cupcake isn't "bad behavior" everything in moderation is OK. If you can not fit said cupcake or sweet into your calories for the day then don't eat it. If you eat it and this overeat for the day, no one has sabotaged or "played games" with you but yourself. Personal responsibility and self control.

    Probably the most mature response in this whole thread. Agree 100%. :drinker:
  • nespinosa3
    nespinosa3 Posts: 116
    Unless your coworker puts a gun to your head and makes you eat the cupcake or forces it down your throat, you don't have to eat it. I mean, I get wanting to vet, but your self control is your own issue. (It has the word SELF right there in the title!) At the end of the day you're the only one responsible for what goes in your mouth.

    I know I lack self control...I even said that in my post. I mostly DON'T eat the crap but i'm tired of the disrespect. Its just annoying.

    To everyone else...thank you for your support. Like I said I just need to vent....1 more week of this project then I don't have to work around these people anymore and can get back to where I was!

    You are definitely in the right to vent, some people are just jerks about this situation. I'm guessing it makes him feel bad in some way that you are eating healthy and looking great while he can't get the determination to stop eating cupcakes, so seeing you eat them will make him feel better at some point.
    In my work area there is also a looooot of food being thrown around always...I would say move the cupcake(s) somewhere else without telling him anything, just get up and move it to a common table and maybe with time he'll get tired. Another thing I do is just cover the food. Put a sign in front of it, raise your monitor...do something so that you don't see it.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
    guess-who-made-waffles-gif.gif
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
    sounds like you've gotta play games w/him right back! put it back on his desk. put it in his trashcan with him watching. be creative and make it fun even though he's frustrating!
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    I think he's "sweet" on you. :laugh:
  • dogluvr_2014
    dogluvr_2014 Posts: 54 Member
    Wow!!! I can't imagine why he would keep doing it after you tell him no. At this point I think I would be really mad. I agree with the other posts in that I would throw that stupid cupcake and anything else right in the trash so that he can see it. He'd have to be pretty stupid to keep doing it after that. So sorry you are having to deal with this. I don't expect the people in my life to necessarily help me with the things I struggle with but I do get upset when they try to sabotage them. Hang in there. :smile:
  • greentart
    greentart Posts: 411 Member
    So as to NOT start WWIII... I would get a basket, bin etc... from somewhere in the office.. put the food in it.. and put in the common area with a note. For Everyone.. Please Enjoy!

    You are doing something nice and you don't have to see it!

    I second this! It's a great way to get the point across, without completely offending him. Whether he's trying to be a d-bag, he's flirting, or he's honestly trying to be nice, we don't really know. Putting in a communal sweets basket shows him that while you appreciate it, you really will NOT eat the sweets.

    I totally get how hard it is when coworkers won't support you, so just do your best to say no. Also, I find the best thing to say (to yourself and others) isn't I CAN'T get that, but I DON'T eat that. It's stronger and more positive. Good luck! Hang in there!

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