Trying again and it ain't working

Hey guys and dolls... I'm trying to lose weight... I don't have a lot to lose... maybe 10lbs to be really really fit and shaped. I've done it before but this time... well, things are different.

Backstory (in a nutshell)...

Always been really really REALLY fit (long distance runner/dancer... you name the sport and I probably played it). Running and biking was part of my daily routine.

Then I got hypothyroidism and my world totally changed. I put on about 30lbs pretty much over-night and I got depressed - partly from the hormone imbalance and a lot from the weight gain. I refused to buy/couldn't afford to buy new clothes so I was basically a horrible fat depressed recluse for a year.

Then something snapped and I decided "EFF THIS" I need to do something and started working out (after abusing the thyroid meds for a while to kick-start the weight loss... don't do it people, it's not worth it).

Lost about 30lbs over 6 months... cue happy dance.

Everything was good, I'd see-saw up and down a bit but generally I was stable between 110-120lbs... depending if it was Christmas or not, ha!

Then I had a termination (please spare me the hate-talk about terminating pregnancies - I did it, I'm not happy with my decision but it was the only one I felt I could make at the time... acknowledge and move on). First I stopped eating and dropped to about 108lb almost over-night... like people were scared. Fine... I was an emotional wreck. Also hormones went wacky... also started taking too many meds.. because weight-loss and self-punishment.

Took a year to get hormones back to normal. Cue happy dance.

Husband and I started trying to have a family a few years ago. Got pregnant last year- finally felt like I could be at peace with my body. Ate healthy, put on a little bit of weight but generally was enjoying life and food (first time since a long time).

Then I had a miscarriage... and things literally haven't been the same since.

I ballooned. I don't mean ballooned like I'm morbidly obese because I'm not... I'm actually in the "healthy weight" category still but I'm also 5ft2 and adding 10lbs to my frame is not great. I'm jiggly, I'm slow, I'm stodgy and what is worse I don't like my body anymore... confidence.. what's that?

And I can't change it. I'm in my early 30's and I totally appreciate that my metabolism is different but I'm also moving more and being really conscious of what I put in my face-hole. I've been logging now for almost 50 days straight. I've been hitting the gym/running/biking and making sure that I am either at or just below calorie goal. I snack on fruit... I indulge a bit here and there but nothing crazy.

I used to weigh myself everyday.... now i don't because it's too depressing.

We are trying to get pregnant again and I DON'T want to be unhealthy but I do want to lose a few lbs so that I have a great attitude, outlook and handle on food-life-exercise that I can carry through my pregnancy. It also wouldn't hurt to be able to fit into my clothes between now and when I give my body up to pregnancy.

If ANYONE has any hints or tips or just wants to buddy up and encourage each other, please feel free to reach out.

Husband and best friend are freakishly bean-pole-like so they really don't understand... I mean they try but both can stuff burgers and cheese into their face every day and lose weight.

Hope to hear from a few of you.

Replies

mactaffy84

Wow, you have gone through a lot! I'm sorry things have been hard for you. The only thing I can really say is that you can do this if it is what you want to do. You want proof? You did it before, so you CAN do it again. You just have to want it.

First thing to do, in my opinion, is to make sure your logging is accurate. You absolutely, positively must know how much you are eating. Guesstimating just isn't going to work. You have to be brutally honest with your logging, you can't just forget to log the half container of Ben&Jerry's! Everything counts! It is only when you know how much you are eating that you can figure out how much you will need to eat to lose.

I wish you luck!

Aero1dynamic

I'm a true beginner here and I don't have a lot of nutrition/exercise advice but what I CAN say is this....you need to look yourself in the mirror and be PROUD of who you are and what you are striving to be. Only when you have CONFIDENCE in your goals can you really achieve them. You've admitted your mistakes ( as some people may see them) and now you are ready to move on and be a healthier, happier YOU. That's one step in the right direction =D

Galatea_Stone

Lift weights. Continue eating at a deficit.

sexymamadraeger

Your hormones have been going nuts. Take it from someone whose had 2 babies. It takes a loooong time for your body to even out hormonally speaking and it takes a loooooong time for your thyroid to even out. On top of that it's harder in your 30's. Hormones get imbalanced and metabolism changes. Give yourself time.

ameliayaron

Thanks guys. Good words of encouragement.

I am pretty brutal when it comes to putting in calories. Sometimes I'm almost sure that I'm over-estimating and I do tend to do that when I'm unsure... like I'll look on the lists of how many calories in a meal if I eat out and if I have an option of 200 calories or 400 I generally put in the 400 to be safe.

I feel better... i DID manage to fit into a skirt last night that I haven't worn for a long time which made me feel really good.

Aiming for a cute pair of retro red stovepipe pants next.

A

TierraButler

You can do it. keep going. just believe in your self.