Busy moms, can you relate?

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  • meridianova
    meridianova Posts: 438 Member
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    I do not feel guilty about time I spend on myself. I just don't. I am trying to be a healthy person. I am trying to model healthy habits. And when I take care of myself, I am a better mom.

    this. absolutely this.

    i'm married and have a 4 year old. up until about 3 weeks ago, i was 95% of his care... dropping him off at daycare/preschool, picking him up after work, keeping him entertained till bedtime while i did housework, putting him to bed, etc. after a doctor decided to be a royal *kitten* to me, my husband vowed to help balance his care so that i can take more time to go to the gym. so i drop him off in the mornings, my husband picks him up at night. i go to the gym and then come home and do whatever needs to be done... cooking, cleaning, laundry, bed time, whatever.

    whoever decided that moms were supposed to feel guilty for spending time to get ourselves healthy instead of spending every minute with our kids must not have kids of their own. if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!
  • CanGirl40
    CanGirl40 Posts: 379 Member
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    Is your goal to lose weight? If so, then no need to feel guilty about not getting to the gym. 80% is what you put into your mouth...you can only stretch yourself so much...

    If you are wanting to be more "fit" then think about squeezing it in before the day starts. I'm at my gym 3x\week at 5:30am. I am a busy full time working mother of 3 and it's the only way I can get it in!
  • Ladybug1250
    Ladybug1250 Posts: 366 Member
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    Once again you ladies (and a few gentleman) have been awesome!! I honestly do know the answers but it's nice to know i'm not alone. My goal is diet and exercise. I want to lose weight but also tone up and be proud of my body again.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
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    Back when I had small children, I was a working mom too, and I incorporated my babies into some workouts so I didn't feel like I wasn't getting any in.

    When playing with them, put them on you knees and pull them toward you as in crunches, but make it fun.

    Lifting children, you get your weightlifting in and it's totally a happy time for them. Lay on the floor and lift them up, swing them, down, repeat.

    There used to be a workout DVD by Sesame street that was actually pretty exhausting. I'd do that on days we had extended time together.
  • teresamwhite
    teresamwhite Posts: 947 Member
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    I can relate to this in some ways, but in others i can't. I don't do all the housework or cooking in my house. I have delegated tasks since the very beginning, because we're a team. He eats and lives there, why shouldn't he cook and clean, too? I've had my two children doing chores since they were able to walk...take this to the trash can...or the laundry basket...and it's morphed over time to being able to handle cleaning a house from top to bottom and making meals on their own at 15 and 11. (Part of this is because I honestly do not want to do it by myself...and the other part is because I saw kids fresh in the Army who had no clue how to do their own laundry because their mommy always did it for them. I refused to put human beings into the world who couldn't feed or clothe themselves.)

    I think busy moms/dads CAN do it all..but we can't do it all perfectly. Something has to give. I firmly believe there is only so long we can put ourselves on the back burners before something breaks.

    It isn't selfish to take a few hours out of the week for ourselves if it means a happier, healthier parent. My mother is 60 and she always put herself last, and now she has a lot of health issues, all stemming from her weight...I spend more time parenting her and dealing with her medical issues than I like. I refuse to do that to my children, too...

    These are just my $.02, worth absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things...but this a touchy topic for me...
  • Bernadette60614
    Bernadette60614 Posts: 707 Member
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    Exercise doesn't have to mean the gym.

    Buy a cheap set of barbells...any Walmart sells them. Get up 10 minutes early each day, and do some little weight work. It sets you day off on a good tone.

    When your 3 year old goes to bed, sit down with MFP and preplan you next day's eating plan. Print it out, hang it on the fridge. Check off each item as you eat it.

    My mother worked the factory night shift, had two kids, and a husband who didn't lift a finger. She lost 120 lbs over 3 years by cutting out snack/junk foods, made most of our clothes, did all the housework, and made all the meals. She didn't watch TV or, surf the net.

    I'm also a wife/mother and I can relate, but I acknowledge I waste at least 3 hours a day on-line/TV/Netflix. Once I stopped that, I found time for other things.
  • 0Amra
    0Amra Posts: 24 Member
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    I can relate to this. It took me a long time to figure out what worked for me. I work full time and I have 3 kids ages 7, 4, and 10 months. I wake up at 5:30 just to be able to get the kids to the sitter and get to work on time and then I'm usually not home until 5:30 or 6 at night. I've learned to fit exercise in wherever I can. Sticking to a rigid schedule such as "I"m going to work out for 1 hour Monday, Wednesday, and Friday" doesn't work for me. I wake up every day with the intention of doing some kind of exercise, that way if I do have a crazy day where I can't fit it in it's not such a big deal. I do a variety of different things for exercise. I walk on my lunch breaks if I can, I take a Zumba class once a week after work, I do exercise DVDs at home after the kids go to sleep, ect. Also, when my fiance and I do "date nights", it's almost always related to a physical activity. We'll get a sitter and go cycling or hiking. It's fun and it's a good way to get an extra work out in.
  • Flyers1010
    Flyers1010 Posts: 71 Member
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    This is a really good thread. Sounds like all of us can relate (married mom of two here, work full-time, commute two-hours a day, sit on my butt most of that work day, and in grad school), and yet everyone's story is reminding me that WE ARE AWESOME AND WE CAN DO IT.

    Thank you!!!!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    I'd just exercise on days you're not working. Or try and make it a habit to go for a family walk after dinner every night or something.

    Do you watch tv at all? The best thing we did was buying a $100 stationary bike. This way we can watch our shows and still get a decent workout, and the thing is small and takes almost no room in our living room. I second buying some dumbbells too - you can just do a few sets every day and it takes 15 minutes tops.
  • Sherbear1109
    Sherbear1109 Posts: 155 Member
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    Not sure if I totally qualify for this thread. I work at home, so I am always with my kids, but I do spend much of that time working. Plus the normal at home mom chores, dr. Appointments, school stuff, and everything else that goes with the territory. For years I didn't take the time to excercise or do things or myself. Now I have started taking an hour a day to excercise, whether the boys like it or not, and it has been good for everyone. While an hour a day might not be the right amount of time for you, you should take some time for yourself for the excercise you crave. My energy levels are much better since I started working out again and everyone, including me, is much happier. For me, Zumba is my main workout. Sometimes my boys join me and they have fun, too! Young children also make great weights. Using them to do reps will build your muscles, give you time together, and be really fun for them! Hope some of this helps, even if it just reminds you all us moms are in it together. Best of luck to you!
  • Bernadette60614
    Bernadette60614 Posts: 707 Member
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    Also, what helped me more than anything else: GET TO BED and sleep 8 hours.

    There's nothing I"m doing after 9 p.m. which is productive. I"m usually just watching TV mindlessly, snacking on stuff, starting something and leaving it half done.

    Nothing, and I mean nothing....has made weight management more successful for me that going to bed every night by 10:30 p.m. 7 days a week.
  • MissHolidayGolightly
    MissHolidayGolightly Posts: 857 Member
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    I can relate to this in some ways, but in others i can't. I don't do all the housework or cooking in my house. I have delegated tasks since the very beginning, because we're a team. He eats and lives there, why shouldn't he cook and clean, too? I've had my two children doing chores since they were able to walk...take this to the trash can...or the laundry basket...and it's morphed over time to being able to handle cleaning a house from top to bottom and making meals on their own at 15 and 11. (Part of this is because I honestly do not want to do it by myself...and the other part is because I saw kids fresh in the Army who had no clue how to do their own laundry because their mommy always did it for them. I refused to put human beings into the world who couldn't feed or clothe themselves.)

    I think busy moms/dads CAN do it all..but we can't do it all perfectly. Something has to give. I firmly believe there is only so long we can put ourselves on the back burners before something breaks.

    It isn't selfish to take a few hours out of the week for ourselves if it means a happier, healthier parent. My mother is 60 and she always put herself last, and now she has a lot of health issues, all stemming from her weight...I spend more time parenting her and dealing with her medical issues than I like. I refuse to do that to my children, too...

    These are just my $.02, worth absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things...but this a touchy topic for me...

    I love this. I don't have children yet but my husband and I share the housework and I'd like to think that will continue when we have children. A life of unrelenting chores sounds miserable.
  • Jennkies
    Jennkies Posts: 382 Member
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    I have found the only way I can squeeze exercise in, being a single mom of a 4 year old boy, is to get up earlier. Even just an hour earlier and get a walk in. I also use this time to plan for the day on food.
  • dylangrrrrl
    dylangrrrrl Posts: 64 Member
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    I work FT, have 2 kids under 3 yrs old and a very supportive husband. I enjoyed reading everyone's tips and knowing there are lots of moms/dads in the same boat. My goal is to get up early and walk/run around my neighborhood most days. If I don't need to get up early (5:30am) for another reason, I'll get a workout in. If something else needs attention (cleaning/work/baby crying in the night/etc), I skip the walk. Bottom line: I'm not willing to get up before 5:30am. Luckily my kids are good sleepers and I'm able to workout approx. 4 mornings a week but I try to be flexible (and not too hard on myself) when balancing my priorities. Sleep is important too. :)
  • lovekohl
    lovekohl Posts: 111 Member
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    Yes, I can relate. I work two jobs (one full time, plus 3 waitressing shifts a week) and I have two kids under three. My secret has been finding exercise that I enjoy doing. I started waking up early a few days a week to go swim laps (my favorite cardio ever!). I knew swimming would be the only thing that would get me out of bed. I've also come to enjoy running as I do it more and both of my kids like being pushed around a lake or taking a nap in the stroller, so it's a win-win. I also just started lifting weights with a trainer and I love it!

    Yes, it's tough. Yes, it can take time away from your family. However, the pay off is so worth it in my opinion. I would rather get healthy now while my kids are too young to remember me being gone than wait until they're older and still be an unhealthy mom. I want to be a role model to my kids, so I make it a priority.
  • rebeccaplatt21
    rebeccaplatt21 Posts: 175
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    i haven't had a chance to read any of the responses to the OP.
    but this is what i do (i have 3 kids, 7, 4, 16mo and i work full time, my husband works retail and doesn't get home until after the kids are in bed):

    i exercise before work. in the living room. our tv (not a smart tv) allows you to play youTube videos right on it. (we have direct tv, but i think this feature is also available on dish).
    if that doesn't work, pull up the videos on your tablet or phone...not ideal, but still works (i did this before my husband told me about youTube on the tv)

    you don't have to exercise for ages. i do about 30-45 mins in the morning. if we go for a walk at night, bonus!

    since exercising in the AM, i don't fall asleep at my desk in the afternoon like i used to! seems sucky to get up earlier, but it's rewards will outweigh that!

    good luck!

    good luck!
  • wordyroo
    wordyroo Posts: 98 Member
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    When I just had one kid, I did a C25K pushing the jogging stroller. He had fun and it was a good workout. Now I have two (one is only 3 months old so I'm just recently back at this). I do a 15-minute body weight routine 3 times a week. It's 7 moves, 3 circuits and a 5-minute warm-up. It's about all I have time for. Fortunately, my husband will watch the kids and get dinner started while I do it. The weekends we typically do something fun as a family that includes a lot of walking. The scale is ever so slowly moving downward.
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
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    This is probably going against what most people think, but I waited. I waited until I had a place in my life where I could be a bit selfish and sort myself out. It meant it took me longer than I would have wanted, but I've never beat myself up over it. I never had the self-loathing that some people have, and I always knew I would do it and succeed, even if not right at that time.

    I'm doing it now and for me really that's all that counts.
  • steelergirl44
    steelergirl44 Posts: 3
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    I can so relate. I had to do things that included my boys. play baseball (throw a baseball around). pick them up and toss them in air, go swimming with them. just walking through water helped. now that they are teenagers, I play tennis with my 17 year old and I am about to start riding motocross bikes with my 14 year old. anything to stay active, be an example.
  • Shalaurise
    Shalaurise Posts: 707 Member
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    Yup, I can relate as many others can. I wake up tired and crawl out of bed to get myself and the kids ready (yay summer, less getting the kids ready) and then go to work. Once home its time to cook dinner but we don't even sit down to eat until about 7 pm or so. Then it is time for dishes and bed only to start the whole cycle over again. It's a mess. I get my only real purposeful workout at work during my breaks. Take a few laps around the building and be grateful I had time for that.

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