Can I ask a personal question, about dating?

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  • SheBeButLittleSheisFierce
    SheBeButLittleSheisFierce Posts: 690 Member
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    Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite, "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly "Try harder, stupid," but which one is it? 60% of all human communication is nonverbal body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person! She doesn't want to hurt your feelings! What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you... yet. Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic Principles - no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom.

    -Hitch
    Yeah....what he said. I'm 33 and am perfectly fine not dating. I'm not going to stress over it b/c then I become one of those annoying chicks that no one wantst to date. I have guys who are my friends. I have a life. I do fun things. I simply dont date. I'm ok with that. If it happens it happens.....the pot with a lid quote...true too.
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
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    Waiting to date is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm 24, and have never had a boyfriend. I've only been on a handful of dates. But that's okay. I'm not broken. There's nothing wrong with me. It's okay to wait, and it's okay to get yourself sorted out a bit first. But that doesn't mean you should automatically turn someone down in the meantime. :smile: Someone who loves you as your are right now will love you even more when you've gotten yourself together.
  • sklarbodds
    sklarbodds Posts: 608 Member
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    Others have said it, but I'll add 2 things:

    1) If you don't think you're ready, don't.

    2) I wouldn't date until you feel good enough about yourself that if someone doesn't like you it doesn't drastically effect you. If you take it seriously (especially online dating) when someone doesn't want to start/continue dating you, it's going to be pretty rough and you'll probably derail your fitness.

    For me, it helped when I realized that there are 4-5 billion women on this planet and not all of them are going to think I'm amazing. All I have to do is find the one that I'm crazy about that feels the same way. I've checked a few of them off that 4-5 billion and I'm continuing to narrow it down :)

    Also, IMO, don't spend a ton of time with someone who isn't that into you. Just not worth it.
  • SheBeButLittleSheisFierce
    SheBeButLittleSheisFierce Posts: 690 Member
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    Others have said it, but I'll add 2 things:

    1) If you don't think you're ready, don't.

    2) I wouldn't date until you feel good enough about yourself that if someone doesn't like you it doesn't drastically effect you. If you take it seriously (especially online dating) when someone doesn't want to start/continue dating you, it's going to be pretty rough and you'll probably derail your fitness.

    For me, it helped when I realized that there are 4-5 billion women on this planet and not all of them are going to think I'm amazing. All I have to do is find the one that I'm crazy about that feels the same way. I've checked a few of them off that 4-5 billion and I'm continuing to narrow it down :)

    Also, IMO, don't spend a ton of time with someone who isn't that into you. Just not worth it.
    I agree with you too!!! Whats the song quote, "she likes me for me" same goes for my feelings with a guy. He better just like me for me. Fluffy or thin, I am who I am.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
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    There's also a difference between actively dating (going out and purposefully looking for someone) and just being open if someone happens to come along. I had zero time, energy or interest in actively looking for someone during grad school -- it would've been a major distraction and it wouldn't have worked out anyway. Focus on what you need to, so if you meet someone, you'll know right away whether or not they respect your priorities.
  • Sirinya55
    Sirinya55 Posts: 79 Member
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    Here's my take..you spend your early-mid 20s having fun :wink: :wink: , hopefully you'll settle down by 30ish... If not, you start over at step 1.
  • JuliaMarie85
    JuliaMarie85 Posts: 10 Member
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    I've been on and off many of the dating sites multiple times and to no avail. I joined meetup.com. It's not a dating site per se, but there are singles groups on it. I found a few groups in my area. I've been to a few meetups with the various groups and haven't met anyone that I want to see one on one date yet, but I have met people I'd like to be friends with. It's a low pressure way to meet people.
  • marsgirlly
    marsgirlly Posts: 71 Member
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    I went on a few dates via OKCupid during college, and it was not the right fit for me. I was too concentrated on school and would have had no time for a proper relationship. I met my boyfriend of 8 months at a training for teachers in our county. It kind of just fell into place. I'm 23 and he's my first boyfriend, and I met him the first time I had lost significant weight! I say waiting is okay until you find out your true you, until you feel awesome, and until you are NOT crazy busy with school!
  • mscheftg
    mscheftg Posts: 485 Member
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    So, like the quote from Hitch... either you really aren't looking to date or you are.

    Don't be afraid to wait until you are ready. One of my friends was in her early 30s before she really started dating. She got set up by a friend and is now married to the guy.

    I agree with the people saying to get involved in things... go find what you enjoy doing! Then when you do go on a date, you can list more interests than talking to people on myfitnesspal. :)
  • guppyphant
    guppyphant Posts: 7 Member
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    Thank you guys so much for all of your comments! Everyone brought up great points, and I'm going to spend this year focusing on school and being happy with myself, and then I'll be ready to find someone to share my life and myself with. It's all about mindset, which I don't have, but I also need to be open to it happening...I'll work on it!

    I think I knew that I'm not ready for dating, but I just needed someone (or several someones) to agree that I was making the right choice :P

    You're the best :)
  • ils_1231
    ils_1231 Posts: 249 Member
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    i dont know how this will come off but....

    my dad always says, " every pot has a lid."

    it'll happen.

    love it - your dad is cool.
    you can tell him i said so :smile:


    i'm pretty lucky :) thanks

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