So close...to giving up

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  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
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    So here's my take on this. I have lost a little over 100 pounds in 2 years. I have somewhere around 35 - 40 pounds to go. I have no idea what my goal weight needs to be and it's really not my focus. I will know when I am where I want to be.

    So the biggest battle for me over the last 2 years was dealing with my issues with food. The losing and exercise part is all math and hard work. The food...well, that's an entirely different duck. So this is about changing your mindset. You will never be able to eat the way you did in the past. Ever. Never. Ever. Have you faced that yet? There is no end zone. There is no finish line. When you have been significantly overweight, you have to be conscious of your food and exercise balance forever. You have to make changes and then stick to them all week. The weekends still have to be within your calories. Otherwise you will wipe out your hard work from all week. Then you end at the starting point week after week.

    Change your mindset. Start working on self control. Be mindful of your food all week long. Work on keeping your portions controlled. Have treats, just work them into your daily calories. Realize that even if everyone around you is pigging out - those days are over for you.

    But, the upside of all this? You get your health back. You get your life back. You control things - they don't take you over anymore. It's hard. But, you can be one of the ones that are successful. Best of luck.

    ^^^ This. It's a mindset. It's been hard to accept that I can't be lazy and "eat however much I want" anymore. I have to stay aware. I'm okay with that now. I like the knowledge of knowing how much I'm putting into my body and what it takes to stay healthy and happy. Since I am aware, I can, without guilt, enjoy the foods I love on occasion.

    This is good stuff.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    Quitting will definitely help you lose weight and help you reach all of your goals. Said no one, ever.

    Are you going to quit life? No? Then why would you quit what you're doing? It's part of your life, right?

    That leaves only one option... keep doing what you've been doing. Live life, enjoy food within moderation, be happy. Bonus is losing weight. Nothing there I see worth quitting. Sounds like a good thing to me.
  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
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    We had some friends over last night, and they love two things at dinner parties: 1. pre-dinner cheese and cracker snacks, and 2. alcohol. We supplied both, and I knew I would have to plan ahead to make it through and still stay under calories. My husband grilled some delicious tuna steaks and I calculated that plus the sides to determine how many calories I had left. I had to avoid the pre-dinner snacking but that allowed me one cocktail and one glass of wine, plus a slice of dessert. If I had tried to eliminate the snacks and alcohol both I would have felt unsocial and deprived, and I'd have probably gone into the fridge and polished off the dessert in the middle of the night.

    Now I haven't been at this as long as you so I don't know the diet fatigue you're feeling. But for me the key has always been planning, planning, planning. I never say no to something I love as long as I can fit it into my daily calculations. The caveat being: I've discovered that some things I /thought/ I loved, I didn't love enough to sacrifice for. So that's been eye-opening.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    Watch this and see if you are motivated...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

    This story makes me sobby every time I see it.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
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    bump - need the extra motivation too
  • levitateme
    levitateme Posts: 999 Member
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    I agree with everyone who mentioned lifting weights. I was feeling a lack of motivation to continue eating a goal that seemed like so little food (1600, for me is not a lot of food) and have decided to eat at maintenance while continuing my lifting program. It's allowed me to relax, feel good about myself and focus more on what my body looks like than the number on the scale. I recommend that anyone who is struggling after a long weight loss period to "take a break" but that doesn't mean stop logging. Raise your goal to something less strict, log everything you eat, good or bad, and keep active.
  • haleema93
    haleema93 Posts: 70
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    Watch this and see if you are motivated...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

    WOW :) so inspirational..
  • rebalee8
    rebalee8 Posts: 161 Member
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    There's a lot of good advice here, and I think some people are saying sort of similar things to what I'm about to: that in some ways, what might help most is a change of mindset?

    The way I look at it is that periods of maintaining what you've lost already is not "giving up". I find that I can't mentally maintain eating at a deficit for months (years) on end, especially when the amount of calories I'm allowed to eat gets smaller and smaller. Also, there are some events in life (like this month I'm not only travelling, but trying to conduct a move as well) that make it really hard - I can't cook because all my stuff is packed - that puts obstacles in my way. Sure, I could likely find ways to work around them, but that just adds more stress to my already tight life, so what I do is create an intentional plateau. I decide that I'm just going to maintain for the next X-many weeks (sometimes as many as 8-10 depending on circumstances) and then will recommit to losing more. So basically, I commit to not gaining for a period, and then continuing on my journey. It's worked for the last 100 pounds (haven't been on mfp the whole time, so that's not reflected in my clicker).

    This is my first time using mfp during an intentional plateau* (I joined after my last one), but what I've done is set my calorie intake to "maintain" rather than lose, and what I'm finding is that I'm eating slightly under it, so I'm losing maybe .25-.5 pound (instead of the 1.5 I was before) anyway. I've gone a little over it on a couple days, but most days I'm 200-300 calories under.

    It makes for a slower journey, but for me, it's a less stressful one, and I find I don't beat myself up so much.

    *I keep saying intentional plateau, but it just occurred to me that I've never had the other kind. Maybe because I do it myself. Don't know.
  • azymth99
    azymth99 Posts: 122 Member
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    Don't approach it like its "All or Nothing." That's why you want to rebel and eat the whole tub of ice cream. Have a cup of the ice cream and enjoy it. Put some F'in cashews on it and some hot fudge. But log it and move on. Eat the things you love in moderation. Change your portion sizes to something live-able.

    If you keep exercising and maintain a calorie deficit you will lose weight- gradually over time. It comes back and then it goes away again. Its a natural cycle of weight loss. Stick with it and the pounds will come off. On the days I know I'm going to eat a lot (holidays, parties etc.) I take a 5 mile walk or do a full body workout- the effect is psychological- you feel like you've earned the extra food and you don't feel as bad when you eat.

    Good Luck!
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
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    I also exercise 5-6 days/week. I understand how it can get monotonous. I try and change up what I do so I dont get bored. I go to a Crossfit class 3 times a week...anymore than that and I would get sick of it. The other days I walk./jog and look at it as "me time". If I had to spend a couple hours in a gym I wouldn't go. Maybe you can change up your routine? Also, every 4 months or so, I allow myself a break from exerise.After a few days, I am dying to get back!
    I refuse to let weekends ruin the progress I have made. I realized a long time ago, I cannot eat like most people. It is a choice I make to accept this fact and to not feel sorry for myself about it. Don't give up!!!
  • SuzeyFitness
    SuzeyFitness Posts: 5
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    Do not give up!!! I started last Jan on MFP to lose weight using 2 weddings in the June and July as a goal. I lost some weight and was happy with my size for the occasions. Afterwards though I forgot to remind myself that I hadn't reached my goal yet and so I got lazy with logging and Started to enjoy the foods that I had cut back with a whole new amount of enjoyment. By September I had put on weight and i'm not kidding I have left it until 3 days ago and a huge gain in weight and stress to get back on track. I really wish I had carried on and achieved my target last year. I have set myself another goal to reach by September and then another in November to keep me on track. Its not easy but nothing worth doing ever is. Good Luck and stick with it, you are doing great. :smile:
  • allofme32
    allofme32 Posts: 92 Member
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    If you give up now, your just giving up on yourself. Love yourself enough to continue doing what is good for you. Tell that little voice inside of you that is telling you to give up to shut up.

    I agree with the others on this thread. Get a backpack and fill it up with as much weight as what you have already lost and put it on your back and go for a long walk. This will give you the perspective that you need to press on.

    If food is an issue for you, try and get recipes for as many alternative choices as you can. If you like pizza - make your own healthy pizza, If you like cake, make a lower fat version of the cake you like. Alternatives have always helped me.

    Please don't give up on yourself. You have come so far. I want to be just like you one day. I have to lose 150 pounds. Your loss thus far has motivated me to continue on the journey.
  • freshstart180213
    freshstart180213 Posts: 170 Member
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    Couldnt read all the replies simply too many lol so sorry if its been said however I think at this point you have lost soo much giving up now is both a disservice to yourself as u have worked too hard to shift it and second its clearly not what you want u now need to start looking at your relationship to food u can still enjoy the foods you like but in moderation and so u need to cut down portions and if u cant control urself u need to question why also there has to be low calorie options to the stuff ur friends are eating as I think I read someone said u can love food hey I think we all do but u need to love urself more and if u really want to like who u see in the mirror u need to push harder to lose the last of the weight and that means some short term pain for long term gain lose the weight get a better relationship to food and then you will maintain it and if u rewlly cant control urself at weekends u need to perhaps amp up the exercise as weekends to make up for the shortfall
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Quitting is not even an option. If you have to maintain for a while by eating at a deficit during the week then eating a bit more during the week end, so be it... but at least you will probably not gain weight back, which is what would happen if you gave up.
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
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    I'm in the same boat as you. I lost 25lbs pretty quickly and now I find myself binge eating at night, I think from stress. Last night I ate almost a whole bag of pirates booty and I ruined my sneaks a couple of weeks ago and have been using that as an excuse not to go to the gym.

    Not sure if I have diet fatigue, just fatigue, or both. I have a 1 year old and 3 year old and spend from 7am - 7pm either at work or commuting (it wasn't this bad until a major highway closed here which added an extra 25 minutes both ways to my commute) By the time I get the kiddos home, cook dinner, bathe them, and put them to bed it's like 9:30pm and I just feel despondent. I want to give up. Lately it's been just laying on the couch exhausted instead of getting my fat butt to the gym from 9:30 - 10:30pm.

    If you like, send me a friend request. Maybe we can help each other stay motivated. I'm totally impressed by your commitment of 5-6days of excercise.
  • michaelosx
    michaelosx Posts: 15 Member
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    Watch this and see if you are motivated...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

    Wow! Thank you for sharing this.
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
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    Do not give up! You've come so far already!

    Maybe you could try calorie cycling through the week. figure out your weekly deficit to lose the weight and allocate your daily goals differently. You could eat at maintenance (or close to it) on the weekends and eat fewer calories daily during the week. As long as your deficit still exists by the end of the week, you should still lose weight.
  • beccasaur387
    beccasaur387 Posts: 37 Member
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    There's nothing more depressing and disheartening than going through your closet taking clothes out that you can't wear anymore because you put on weight. You've come a great distance to turn back now. I totally understand going to outtings where there will be food served that's not part of your meal plan. It's all about preparing. Bring your own food/snacks and drinks. I would be straight up honest with your friends and tell them how you feel. They should be there encouraging you and cheering you on.
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
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    Watch this and see if you are motivated...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

    Thank you for this!
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
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    Don't give up. I know how you feel, I've thought a lot about giving up over the last couple of days.

    I won't if you won't.

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