Grrrr....Hubby sabatoge
karenMcMillan0712
Posts: 82 Member
So My Hubby 2 months ago started a gluten free diet. He has had medical problems for years. So I was the only one working and I bought the expensive food,Did all the cooking and so forth. He got feeling so much better. we were able to do things together. Then I come home and he goes why are you here. He has a pizza from pizza Hut. He knows I gave up red meat and processed foods. Have had no gluten since we began except for my crackers. And now our weekend is shot. Am I wrong to feel like he lied cause he thought I would not be home-cheated-why did I bother and wrong Cause I refuse to care for him if he gets sick or develops worse conditions. If he is not willing why should I? Thanks needed to vent.
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Replies
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good story0
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I would personally be upset about funding a special diet that is costly, only to find out that they aren't sticking with it. Maybe it was a one time binge or maybe he's not been honest all along. That's something you really need to discuss with him.
When I was a teenager, my stepfather was really overweight. My mother paid for a really expensive diet program (shakes/meal replacements) and he lost a lot of weight. It started to creep back on and my mother found out he was sneaking food like crazy. She was furious at the wasted money.
If it were me, I wouldn't waste my money until he's ready to really commit himself to following the diet he should be following. And I would be stressing the need for honestly. That's what we count on our partners for.
Good luck
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I don't think that a few slices of pizza is going to kill your whole weekend, That being said, he is an adult (presumably), if he wants to eat gluten and feel crappy after, so be it.
Just worry about you
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I would personally be upset about funding a special diet that is costly, only to find out that they aren't sticking with it. Maybe it was a one time binge or maybe he's not been honest all along. That's something you really need to discuss with him.
When I was a teenager, my stepfather was really overweight. My mother paid for a really expensive diet program (shakes/meal replacements) and he lost a lot of weight. It started to creep back on and my mother found out he was sneaking food like crazy. She was furious at the wasted money.
If it were me, I wouldn't waste my money until he's ready to really commit himself to following the diet he should be following. And I would be stressing the need for honestly. That's what we count on our partners for.
Good luck
I totally agree with this post.
What I'm confused about, OP, is why did you change your eating habits in the specific way that you did...to support your husband who needed to make the same changes for medical reasons?0 -
Oh, how infuriating! Id be mad as well. But dont let his issues ruin your hard work- its taken me a long time to realise that my OH is not going to join me in this weight loss journey, especially if I try to push him into it- it just makes him go completely the other way. If he wants to commit, brilliant, if he doesnt- let it go. Do it for you, not as a couple. Hope that didnt sound too harsh :happy:0
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Let him enjoy his pizza. You don't have to eat it. Me, I'm evil and would be secretly hoping it wasn't gluten free pizza. I also wouldn't change how I eat because my husband is allergic to gluten, unless he gets sick by gluten being airborne.0
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Sounds pretty upsetting. I wouldn't waste any more time worrying about it. People have to want to get better or feel healthy. You can't make them.0
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very sad you were doing everything to help him. Wonder if he had been doing this all along or if it was a one time mistake. I would have a long chat with him if he wants to cheat then I wouldn't encourage him any more, just look after yourself and when if not already you look amazing he will be jealous0
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very sad you were doing everything to help him. Wonder if he had been doing this all along or if it was a one time mistake. I would have a long chat with him if he wants to cheat then I wouldn't encourage him any more, just look after yourself and when if not already you look amazing he will be jealous
He cheated. He wlll always be a cheater. If he's the kind of dude who likes enjoying dirty little secrets while she is at work, it doesn't matter how amazing she looks. there will always be a willing pizza somewhere.0 -
Honestly I would be frustrated too! But you should talk to him about it. If he doesn't want to stick to the diet himself, I would say that's okay, but if he's not respecting that you want to do the diet (i.e. offering you foods like that etc) then you seriously need to talk.0
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Story of my life with my ex husband. Only it wasn't food. It was alcohol. That's why he's the EX husband now.
You said "rant over" so I assume that you feel better now. I recommend telling your husband how you feel about what he did. It's off your chest at that point. Ball is in his court on how he wants to handle it. Good luck!0 -
Okay....this is why I work solo. And why I don't do restrictive diets.0
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very sad you were doing everything to help him. Wonder if he had been doing this all along or if it was a one time mistake. I would have a long chat with him if he wants to cheat then I wouldn't encourage him any more, just look after yourself and when if not already you look amazing he will be jealous
He cheated. He wlll always be a cheater. If he's the kind of dude who likes enjoying dirty little secrets while she is at work, it doesn't matter how amazing she looks. there will always be a willing pizza somewhere.
In for willing pizza...and maybe an unwillling calzone.0 -
I don't think that a few slices of pizza is going to kill your whole weekend, That being said, he is an adult (presumably), if he wants to eat gluten and feel crappy after, so be it.
Just worry about you
I have to disagree-He will be in the can every fifteen minutes for the entire weekend. So yes there will be no fun outside our home0 -
Let me start off by saying that I have been gluten intolerant all my life. I was lucky that my pediatrician diagnosed me properly in the beginning which has saved me a ton of anguish. However, eating gluten free hasn't always been easy, and yes, I struggled with "cheating" many times growing up. Now that I am older, I am much better with not cheating, although I do occasionally have a bite of something I know has gluten in it....and of course pay the price later.
Perhaps you can ask your husband WHY he decided to cheat on the diet. Making that transition to being gluten free can be very, very hard for some people. Even I struggle with it sometimes even though I have been eating this way my entire life. So many times I have smelled pizza or fresh doughnuts and thought that it would be so good to be "normal" for just ONE day. To be able to just eat whatever I want without consequences. To just walk into a doughnut shop and eat anything I want! I read an article once about people who are (medically) gluten free suffering more from depression than those who have no gluten intolerance because you can no longer just go to a friend's house for dinner without a huge hassle, or just go to any restaurant without asking a ton of questions, etc etc. Trust me, going down the depression road due to dietary restrictions you have no control over is THE WORST!!!
Also, let me point out that you do NOT have to buy all the expensive gluten free stuff! If I had to buy all that expensive stuff I wouldn't have made it through college OR graduate school :-) Much of the "specialty" gluten free products are filled with unhealthy ingredients and lots of carbs and calories. Just eat normal, fresh food! Meats are super easy, veggies, fruits, rice, quinoa, etc etc. Yes, if you want pasta you will need to purchase it gluten-free, and bread you will either have to buy the mix and make it yourself, or buy it prepacked, but there are SO many other options out there! Example: rather than make sandwiches, make wraps....and rather than using a flour wrap, just use a giant piece of lettuce! Just have to be creative!
I wish you good luck with this whole thing, and remember, making this transition isn't easy, so maybe get down to the root of why the cheating happened, and try to be understanding :-)0 -
very sad you were doing everything to help him. Wonder if he had been doing this all along or if it was a one time mistake. I would have a long chat with him if he wants to cheat then I wouldn't encourage him any more, just look after yourself and when if not already you look amazing he will be jealous
He cheated. He wlll always be a cheater. If he's the kind of dude who likes enjoying dirty little secrets while she is at work, it doesn't matter how amazing she looks. there will always be a willing pizza somewhere.
In for willing pizza...and maybe an unwillling calzone.
How YOU doin'?0 -
Story of my life with my ex husband. Only it wasn't food. It was alcohol. That's why he's the EX husband now.
You said "rant over" so I assume that you feel better now. I recommend telling your husband how you feel about what he did. It's off your chest at that point. Ball is in his court on how he wants to handle it. Good luck!
I did talk to him- Just was hurt-He will do what he will do. I just wont try so hard. And we will see what happens.0 -
Let me start off by saying that I have been gluten intolerant all my life. I was lucky that my pediatrician diagnosed me properly in the beginning which has saved me a ton of anguish. However, eating gluten free hasn't always been easy, and yes, I struggled with "cheating" many times growing up. Now that I am older, I am much better with not cheating, although I do occasionally have a bite of something I know has gluten in it....and of course pay the price later.
Perhaps you can ask your husband WHY he decided to cheat on the diet. Making that transition to being gluten free can be very, very hard for some people. Even I struggle with it sometimes even though I have been eating this way my entire life. So many times I have smelled pizza or fresh doughnuts and thought that it would be so good to be "normal" for just ONE day. To be able to just eat whatever I want without consequences. To just walk into a doughnut shop and eat anything I want! I read an article once about people who are (medically) gluten free suffering more from depression than those who have no gluten intolerance because you can no longer just go to a friend's house for dinner without a huge hassle, or just go to any restaurant without asking a ton of questions, etc etc. Trust me, going down the depression road due to dietary restrictions you have no control over is THE WORST!!!
Also, let me point out that you do NOT have to buy all the expensive gluten free stuff! If I had to buy all that expensive stuff I wouldn't have made it through college OR graduate school :-) Much of the "specialty" gluten free products are filled with unhealthy ingredients and lots of carbs and calories. Just eat normal, fresh food! Meats are super easy, veggies, fruits, rice, quinoa, etc etc. Yes, if you want pasta you will need to purchase it gluten-free, and bread you will either have to buy the mix and make it yourself, or buy it prepacked, but there are SO many other options out there! Example: rather than make sandwiches, make wraps....and rather than using a flour wrap, just use a giant piece of lettuce! Just have to be creative!
I wish you good luck with this whole thing, and remember, making this transition isn't easy, so maybe get down to the root of why the cheating happened, and try to be understanding :-)
Agree-He wanted to see. It was just felt like he was hiding it and we have always been Honest with each other.0 -
very sad you were doing everything to help him. Wonder if he had been doing this all along or if it was a one time mistake. I would have a long chat with him if he wants to cheat then I wouldn't encourage him any more, just look after yourself and when if not already you look amazing he will be jealous
He cheated. He wlll always be a cheater. If he's the kind of dude who likes enjoying dirty little secrets while she is at work, it doesn't matter how amazing she looks. there will always be a willing pizza somewhere.
No kidding. Margherita is the tasty little number that's been visiting my house. Mid week. When the husband's working.
Ummmm. Nevermind.0 -
very sad you were doing everything to help him. Wonder if he had been doing this all along or if it was a one time mistake. I would have a long chat with him if he wants to cheat then I wouldn't encourage him any more, just look after yourself and when if not already you look amazing he will be jealous
He cheated. He wlll always be a cheater. If he's the kind of dude who likes enjoying dirty little secrets while she is at work, it doesn't matter how amazing she looks. there will always be a willing pizza somewhere.
"How you do 'n?"
0 -
I would personally be upset about funding a special diet that is costly, only to find out that they aren't sticking with it. Maybe it was a one time binge or maybe he's not been honest all along. That's something you really need to discuss with him.
When I was a teenager, my stepfather was really overweight. My mother paid for a really expensive diet program (shakes/meal replacements) and he lost a lot of weight. It started to creep back on and my mother found out he was sneaking food like crazy. She was furious at the wasted money.
If it were me, I wouldn't waste my money until he's ready to really commit himself to following the diet he should be following. And I would be stressing the need for honestly. That's what we count on our partners for.
Good luck
I totally agree with this post.
What I'm confused about, OP, is why did you change your eating habits in the specific way that you did...to support your husband who needed to make the same changes for medical reasons?
Yes We as a couple decided to stop the gluten-I Eat crackers and occasionally buy regular cookies-Then when My medical became a issue we went further and I stopped red meat and pork products. We are a team in marriage and since I do all the cooking easier to make it gluten free for him-then to try and create 2 meals0 -
Let me start off by saying that I have been gluten intolerant all my life. I was lucky that my pediatrician diagnosed me properly in the beginning which has saved me a ton of anguish. However, eating gluten free hasn't always been easy, and yes, I struggled with "cheating" many times growing up. Now that I am older, I am much better with not cheating, although I do occasionally have a bite of something I know has gluten in it....and of course pay the price later.
Perhaps you can ask your husband WHY he decided to cheat on the diet. Making that transition to being gluten free can be very, very hard for some people. Even I struggle with it sometimes even though I have been eating this way my entire life. So many times I have smelled pizza or fresh doughnuts and thought that it would be so good to be "normal" for just ONE day. To be able to just eat whatever I want without consequences. To just walk into a doughnut shop and eat anything I want! I read an article once about people who are (medically) gluten free suffering more from depression than those who have no gluten intolerance because you can no longer just go to a friend's house for dinner without a huge hassle, or just go to any restaurant without asking a ton of questions, etc etc. Trust me, going down the depression road due to dietary restrictions you have no control over is THE WORST!!!
Also, let me point out that you do NOT have to buy all the expensive gluten free stuff! If I had to buy all that expensive stuff I wouldn't have made it through college OR graduate school :-) Much of the "specialty" gluten free products are filled with unhealthy ingredients and lots of carbs and calories. Just eat normal, fresh food! Meats are super easy, veggies, fruits, rice, quinoa, etc etc. Yes, if you want pasta you will need to purchase it gluten-free, and bread you will either have to buy the mix and make it yourself, or buy it prepacked, but there are SO many other options out there! Example: rather than make sandwiches, make wraps....and rather than using a flour wrap, just use a giant piece of lettuce! Just have to be creative!
I wish you good luck with this whole thing, and remember, making this transition isn't easy, so maybe get down to the root of why the cheating happened, and try to be understanding :-)
Agree-He wanted to see. It was just felt like he was hiding it and we have always been Honest with each other.
Yup...sounds typical :-) I am glad you worked that part out. I am a very honest person and am very open with everyone. However, when I do cheat I not only feel bad about doing it, but I feel even worse because I hide it, and will do everything to keep that moment of weakness a secret. I still don't know exactly why that happens, but I think it is partially due to the shame of showing weakness, and the guilt that comes with doing something you KNOW you shouldn't be doing. Not to mention all the people that will try to stop you from doing it because they care :-)0 -
very sad you were doing everything to help him. Wonder if he had been doing this all along or if it was a one time mistake. I would have a long chat with him if he wants to cheat then I wouldn't encourage him any more, just look after yourself and when if not already you look amazing he will be jealous
He cheated. He wlll always be a cheater. If he's the kind of dude who likes enjoying dirty little secrets while she is at work, it doesn't matter how amazing she looks. there will always be a willing pizza somewhere.
"How you do 'n?"
I'd hit it.
The pizza, I mean.0 -
I'm confused- why is YOUR weekend shot??
and why are YOU the only one doing the work/paying for ze food???0 -
I would personally be upset about funding a special diet that is costly, only to find out that they aren't sticking with it. Maybe it was a one time binge or maybe he's not been honest all along. That's something you really need to discuss with him.
When I was a teenager, my stepfather was really overweight. My mother paid for a really expensive diet program (shakes/meal replacements) and he lost a lot of weight. It started to creep back on and my mother found out he was sneaking food like crazy. She was furious at the wasted money.
If it were me, I wouldn't waste my money until he's ready to really commit himself to following the diet he should be following. And I would be stressing the need for honestly. That's what we count on our partners for.
Good luck
I totally agree with this post.
What I'm confused about, OP, is why did you change your eating habits in the specific way that you did...to support your husband who needed to make the same changes for medical reasons?
Yes We as a couple decided to stop the gluten-I Eat crackers and occasionally buy regular cookies-Then when My medical became a issue we went further and I stopped red meat and pork products. We are a team in marriage and since I do all the cooking easier to make it gluten free for him-then to try and create 2 meals
I'm confused. You gave up red meat and pork products. I would have thought eating it in front of you would be what some people would call sabotage, not eating it when he thought you wouldn't know. He wanted pizza that you couldn't have and ate it when you most likely wouldn't have seen. I assume he was trying to satisfy his craving and avoid tempting you.
If both of you are still eating gluten, why keep up the gluten free diet? If neither of you are affected by gluten, there is no reason to give it up.0 -
I don't think that a few slices of pizza is going to kill your whole weekend, That being said, he is an adult (presumably), if he wants to eat gluten and feel crappy after, so be it.
Just worry about you
I have to disagree-He will be in the can every fifteen minutes for the entire weekend. So yes there will be no fun outside our home
correction - there will be no fun for HIM outside the home. You go have a great time!0 -
I don't think that a few slices of pizza is going to kill your whole weekend, That being said, he is an adult (presumably), if he wants to eat gluten and feel crappy after, so be it.
Just worry about you
I have to disagree-He will be in the can every fifteen minutes for the entire weekend. So yes there will be no fun outside our home
correction - there will be no fun for HIM outside the home. You go have a great time!
yeah- I'm really confused about why the whole weekend is shot- you make a dumb choice- you suffer the consequences on your own- if she's feeling fine- go forth- be fabulous.0 -
when i was married i had a husband who was an alcoholic . one day i told him to sign an insurance policy..after he signed it i gave him a case of beer and said have fun with your short pathetic life... he quit drinking and got counseling .. said my words stung like crazy .. long story short ..you choose to tolerate what you want or dont want to tolerate0
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I don't think that a few slices of pizza is going to kill your whole weekend, That being said, he is an adult (presumably), if he wants to eat gluten and feel crappy after, so be it.
Just worry about you
I have to disagree-He will be in the can every fifteen minutes for the entire weekend. So yes there will be no fun outside our home
correction - there will be no fun for HIM outside the home. You go have a great time!
Oh, if he is bothered by the gluten and that is part of the issue - than this. He brought that on himself.0 -
It's pizza! Let him enjoy it if he wants to have some. Is he eating stuff like this daily? People that would get upset need to get a grip. The man wanted pizza so he got it. How is this killing your weekend? Don't eat it. People act like he is heading up a terrorist attack behind her back or something. It's just food people. Nobody and I mean nobody makes a lifestyle change and never enjoys some food they don't get to eat often. Get over it.0
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