Confidence?

n3verlettingmyselfgo
n3verlettingmyselfgo Posts: 266 Member
in Chit-Chat
I've noticed that no matter what weight I am, my confidence is still at a 0. Even at 120lbs, my confidence is as low as it was when i was 160. I know i find confidence attractive in people and obviously it helps when working and in social situations, but for some reason i'm the least confident person.

I see people who may not be very physically attractive, but have bucket loads of confidence and i wish so much to be like them but i guess i've always been insecure and it holds me back from so many things. So tell me, can you learn confidence? Or is it something you either have or don't have? Is there anything i can do to help me build my confidence so i feel comfortable to go out with friends and not pass out when i have to talk in front of someone new? Any tips would be great, i will try anything!

Replies

  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    Yes, I think you can learn confidence. Of course, you never see the insides of the people you assume are confident and very social. It does take practice to overcome being shy. Go out with your friends. Make a point of speaking to someone new. Believe it or not - it will get easier.

    I am a confident person, but I am not an extrovert. My last job was meeting new parents, doing an assessment on their families and then providing parent education to the family. It entailed walking into someone's home for the first time and then asking them the most personal information ever about their life. The first few were very hard for me. After a few times, it was easy and I could relax.

    It's the same in any social situation. The more you do it - the better you will get. Now, go have fun and meet some awesome new people.
  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
    Rob pretty much nailed it on the head, it starts with believing in and being comfortable with yourself. You start off with small accomplishments and lead up to big goals.
    Typically when dealing with a lack of confidence and social anxiety issues the best way (imo) to get over it is to just interact with people.
  • shmerek
    shmerek Posts: 963 Member
    As an introvert I always struggled with self confidence, I still do sometimes professionally but I stick with the old "fake it till you make it" adage. Eventually it will start to stick.
  • rianne04
    rianne04 Posts: 51
    I'm on the same boat as you! I can totally understand! I've always had confidence issues since forever. I hope we find something that works for us and gain some confidence! even little by little.. :)
  • FFfitgirl
    FFfitgirl Posts: 369 Member
    Working out has given me confidence!!! I have more now at 200 then I did at 150. Lifting heavy weights...being able to tackle those you know you can tackle anything in life. You become more confident in yourself.

    Crossfit :)
  • DaniellaB1995
    DaniellaB1995 Posts: 64 Member
    Fake it til you make it!
  • FTSTL
    FTSTL Posts: 260 Member
    Actionable ideas: write down 5 things you are proud of every week...

    Set 5 goals per month, work towards them and hold your self accountable to achieving them

    Identify people in your life who build you up and are supportive (and still honest with you) and spend time with them

    Eliminate the toxic people or those who make you feel bad about yourself (they often feel bad about themselves)

    Confidence is an inside thing, not an outside thing.

    Good luck.
  • CharleePear
    CharleePear Posts: 1,948 Member
    Confidence is from telling yourself truth, I am talking about affirmation, not talking crap at yourself when you look in the mirror or can't fit certain clothes or you do something you are ashamed of. LEAVE POSITIVE NOTES ON YOUR MIRROR AND AROUND YOUR ROOM/HOUSE

    FTSL has the right idea, that stuff helps, but doing it as a habit is good too, just speak life over yourself, not death

    Life words are: I am powerful/strong/beautiful/intelligent etc
    Death words are: I am stupid/no good/ ugly/ a failure etc

    I struggled with severe clinical depression for 14 years, suicidal depression, anxiety and self harm, there are things I still struggle with but knowing who I am and being confident in myself is now something most people describe me as (in person, on here I present quite differently).
    We could tell you that you are stunning, because you are, that you are worthy, special, wonderful, but those words would only mean something for a short time, the words have to come from you.


    JOURNAL, write positive truth often but also be honest about how you feel, then write what you will do to change those things.

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