Why can't I stay committed?

Options
suprangela79
suprangela79 Posts: 34 Member
in Motivation and Support
Here I am getting ready to start over...again... I am just so disgusted with myself anymore. I know that I need to watch what I eat but I just don't seem to care lately. I am an emotional eater and always have been. I'll eat something I shouldn't, knowing full well I shouldn't or I'll eat something because I am bored or because it is there.

I've done it all...binged and purged, crash diets, diet pills, you name it! I've lost weight soooo many times and have regained it plus every time and I could kick myself for letting this happen. I am at my heaviest weight now (232 lbs) and I'm only 5'3". My husband says "just eat smaller portions and exercise." Well gee, thanks for the tip! I know that but I just can't seem to find the motivation to stick with it and keep it off. I have no idea how to maintain after I've lost weight (although I can maintain being fat pretty well). I have about 100 lbs to it just seems so overwhelming...

Anyway, thanks for "listening" to me vent. I just need to start and not look back!
«1

Replies

  • fatbegone85
    fatbegone85 Posts: 70
    Options
    Hey! I completely understand. Like you I've had all of those feelings. About two years ago my job started having health fairs where you go and get a health check up. I stepped on the scale and realized I was a whooping 224 lbs! I'm 4'11 btw. I made the decision to lose weight. What did I do? Lost about 15, then gave up and went back to eating normal.

    I have now restarted my journey in June. So what has changed? I think to myself if I had continued to eat right when I started 3 years ago I would be at my goal weight by now. I'd hate for another 3 to pass and realize I'm still in the same place.

    So from I've learned in the last two months:

    1. Go slow, weight loss isn't a race. Any loss is good. It won't always be a two pound loss week
    2. Eat as you have----but in moderation. NOTHING is off limits as long as you can fit it into your caloric daily goal
    3. Log everything. Even those guilty bites.
    4. You WILL fall off the wagon. You WILL go over your caloric intake one day. Its ok, get up and start over the next day

    Those things above is why this time around has felt....effortless. I don't feel like I'm dieting, I'm just eating a little different. I still have ice cream, pizza, chocolate. I just have them in such a way that doesn't cause me to gain weight. You're going to do awesome! Feel free to add me.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Options
    Well put fatbegone85!! That's pretty much the same conclusion I came to a few years back. I'd tried just about every diet out there and they never worked long term. The best luck I had was with WW and Atkins but even that was temporary. Then I realized the problem with all of these diets was my thinking I had to give up the foods I loved and try to live on rabbit food - that never lasted long. I need meat and pizza and chocolate dammit! :)

    I did go back to WW initially and it did work well since I adoped my new philosophy. Then I switched to MFP and it was like a god send!

    The other thing I'll add is mental outlook. No one realy talks about the mental/psychological aspect of weight loss but it's a huge factor. You need to really be ready for these changes and you really need to want these changes. I used to think I just wanted to be skinny but it wasn't a "real" enough reason for me to stick with it. As I aged, my family history of heart disease started becoming more of a problem as my cholesterol and blood pressure rose. So I made it more about improving my health and a couple years in really focused on fitness as well. Makes it a lot easier to stick with AND makes me less likely to ever go back to where I was.

    Good luck!
  • loser4realz
    loser4realz Posts: 18 Member
    Options
    I could have written the post you did as I've struggled with the same issues over the years. fatbegone85 and MinnieInMaine have both provided some wonderful words of wisdom. As I get back on track this time I am just forcing myself to get out there and make the most of the support around me (I always did it solo before, I think in part so I wouldn't be accountable to anyone when I started gaining back again). I'm just sick of the way I feel and look and the beating I've allowed my confidence and self worth to take as a result of being fat. That plus I am a relatively new mom (almost 3 yr old daughter and almost 2 yo old son) and I want to set a good example for them so they don't have any of the same hang ups that I've had to deal with, but also because I want to be around for as long as possible for them. Feel free to add me. I would love to help you through your journey.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,953 Member
    Options
    Maybe you need more sleeps. I always feel more in control when I have more sleeps.
  • suprangela79
    suprangela79 Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    Thanks ladies for your advice! I think for me it is a mental thing. I know that when I get down near my goal weight I tend to start easing up on exercise and thinking it's okay to eat this or that and pretty soon I've gained 10 lbs. I think some of it has to do with the extra attention I get when I am thinner. I don't think mentally I am prepared for it and so I gain the weight back because I feel more "comfortable" being what I refer to as "invisible" to others. I guess I know what I need to work on but how... Are there any good books out there to read about this type of issue?
  • suprangela79
    suprangela79 Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    loser4realz - I feel the same way too about my self worth! I'm sick of how crappy I feel and look and my low self confidence. I've always gone about losing weight solo and maybe it's time I try a different approach.
  • MagnumBurrito
    MagnumBurrito Posts: 1,070 Member
    Options
    Don't think long term, just worry about today. Start one new habit that will help you along this journey. Like drink 20oz of water with every meal and when you wake up.
  • DayByDayGetStronger
    DayByDayGetStronger Posts: 108 Member
    Options
    Why can't you stay committed? Lots of reasons (based all on experience with my own struggles and of counseling people as a dietitian)
    1. We expect results using methods that have been tried and we failed at. So stop doing these, ok?
    2. We aren't addressing the issue of fixing our HEADS first before we try to fix our waistline
    3. We may not have the right kind of support around us
    4. We haven't really hit ROCK BOTTOM in our overeating addiction (it's very hard giving up the crutch we've used for years)
    5. Our reliance upon carbohydrates, fats, and salt are imbedded in our minds and we don't find alternatives to "fill our soul", so we keep going back to the same destructive coping tools
    6. We may not be educated enough about healthy eating habits and portion sizes to be successful in weight loss
    7. We are ignoring, by choice, the very cause of what started the overeating in the first place because it may be too painful to go back to those empty feelings
    8. We use body fat as an emotional barrier/protector from something we are afraid of

    Need more, because I could go on all day. Hopefully you are getting the picture that your/our obesity issues are a symptom of an underlying problem. It's easy to turn to food and blame it on the diet or your own willpower. The courage you/we need to have is in the battle to fix the emptiness that calories can never fill.

    Two years of weekly therapy helped me lose 80lbs with the help of a Lap Band. Getting to the core of my reliance on calories to make me feel 'different' was my biggest accomplishment.

    Remember, food or drugs or alcohol or sex, or shopping doesn't make us feel BETTER...they just make us feel DIFFERENT. Stop searching for the perfect diet to start, and start searching for what makes you feel BETTER and less empty.


    For me? Hugs make me feel better. And not just little 2-second hugs. Long, tight 5-minute hugs from someone who has giant arms makes me e.x.h.a.l.e ahhhhhhhhhhh and my soul is filled. The other thing that makes me feel really good and lasts for many, many hours is exercising outside and being in nature.
  • suprangela79
    suprangela79 Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    Don't think long term, just worry about today. Start one new habit that will help you along this journey. Like drink 20oz of water with every meal and when you wake up.

    I guess I never really thought about taking one step at a time (as silly as that sounds). I've just always jumped in head first. Thank you!!
  • suprangela79
    suprangela79 Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    Why can't you stay committed? Lots of reasons (based all on experience with my own struggles and of counseling people as a dietitian)
    1. We expect results using methods that have been tried and we failed at. So stop doing these, ok?
    2. We aren't addressing the issue of fixing our HEADS first before we try to fix our waistline
    3. We may not have the right kind of support around us
    4. We haven't really hit ROCK BOTTOM in our overeating addiction (it's very hard giving up the crutch we've used for years)
    5. Our reliance upon carbohydrates, fats, and salt are imbedded in our minds and we don't find alternatives to "fill our soul", so we keep going back to the same destructive coping tools
    6. We may not be educated enough about healthy eating habits and portion sizes to be successful in weight loss
    7. We are ignoring, by choice, the very cause of what started the overeating in the first place because it may be too painful to go back to those empty feelings
    8. We use body fat as an emotional barrier/protector from something we are afraid of

    Need more, because I could go on all day. Hopefully you are getting the picture that your/our obesity issues are a symptom of an underlying problem. It's easy to turn to food and blame it on the diet or your own willpower. The courage you/we need to have is in the battle to fix the emptiness that calories can never fill.

    Two years of weekly therapy helped me lose 80lbs with the help of a Lap Band. Getting to the core of my reliance on calories to make me feel 'different' was my biggest accomplishment.

    Remember, food or drugs or alcohol or sex, or shopping doesn't make us feel BETTER...they just make us feel DIFFERENT. Stop searching for the perfect diet to start, and start searching for what makes you feel BETTER and less empty.


    For me? Hugs make me feel better. And not just little 2-second hugs. Long, tight 5-minute hugs from someone who has giant arms makes me e.x.h.a.l.e ahhhhhhhhhhh and my soul is filled. The other thing that makes me feel really good and lasts for many, many hours is exercising outside and being in nature.

    I do need to work on my mind and the mental issues I have with losing wieght. I'm not sure where or why I have them but I know they are there and always have been. I do need to stop hiding behind food and excuses so thank you for the advice! I'm really glad I decided to finally post.
  • shadowofender
    shadowofender Posts: 786 Member
    Options
    UNfounately there's no magic words I can say that will help you. I've been in your spot most of my life. And no matter what words of wisdom, or support, or love, someone showed me...until I made the conscious decision to change, I stayed stuck in the same rut.
    It's about power over your own mind. When you're ready, you'll know. It's hard, and it doesn't get easy...but it's for you, right? And aren't you worth the commitment to yourself? You'll find the thing that makes it cllick. Until then, keep plowing away.
  • amreadarrens
    amreadarrens Posts: 43 Member
    Options
    I feel exactly how you feel. I also tried it all. And I went to the hospital drinking laxative tea and pills I went to the hospital. I tried the natural diet for woman. It is effective and safe.
    http://venusbuddy.wordpress.com/2014/07/07/weight-loss-experience-and-effective-tips/
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Options
    My personal experience with the same battle has lead me to this (your mileage may vary):

    - I will not get too upset with myself when I enjoy life, but I will moderate it so it doesn't get too out of hand.

    - For me, I can fluctuate 10 pounds at times, but I know I can lose it back. I go back to point 1.

    - At times I am more focused than others due to all kinds of outside activities, needs, demands, stresses, etc, so I go back to point 1.

    - I am not doing weight loss, I am changing my bad habits that I developed and lead to to being overweight. This happened over many years and will NOT be changed in a month or two. I expect to be doing this the rest of my life and I go back to point 1.
  • msheldon88
    msheldon88 Posts: 71 Member
    Options
    One day at a time. Focus on that. You can do it!
  • CupcakeCrusoe
    CupcakeCrusoe Posts: 1,382 Member
    Options
    I started out 5'4", 220 lbs at my highest. I know what you mean.

    The thing that helped me the most was logging everything I ate, and the other was to keep getting up. I'd slip up very, VERY often, still do, because I'm an emotional eater, too. You have to remember it's a process, and it won't be quick. It'll be a couple weeks before you notice anything in the mirror, and weeks after that before anyone else notices. So just keep working it out, you'll be fine.

    Feel free to friend me, the door's always open.
  • bcanderson123456
    bcanderson123456 Posts: 45 Member
    Options
    The website ahl4u.com really points out what a lot of you are saying. That it is a lifestyle change and not the latest diet fad that will make the biggest difference. They are putting recipes on the site that aren't rabbit food and help with the feeling of eating normal foods.
  • loisheisey3
    loisheisey3 Posts: 2
    Options
    Hello. I am right there with you. I am NOT starting over but starting.
  • loisheisey3
    loisheisey3 Posts: 2
    Options
    Today is day one for me. I would ask for all the encouragement and support I can get.
    I am tracking food as of today. I will be taking yoga 1 day per week and walking 2 -3 other days a week.
    That is a LOT for me.
    Thanks.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,704 Member
    Options
    When your reason to do it becomes more intrinsic than extrinsic, commitment to it will be much easier.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/588404-intrinsic-or-extrinsic-which-are-you?hl=intrinsic/extrinsic

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • AmAnDuh77
    AmAnDuh77 Posts: 20 Member
    Options
    As other posters have said, start one new good habit. Start walking 15 minutes a day, increase your water, cut out sodas or fast food. You didn't get to this mental state overnight, you won't overcome it in a day.

    Don't be too hard on yourself! My best advice (and b/c I do this myself now and it's helped), keep a personal journal and write 1 or more positive things about yourself that happen each day. You can look back each week and smile, this will increase your self esteem and change your negative thoughts to positive!

    Sadly, what made me hit rock bottom was going for my yearly physical and being told I was diabetic at 36! Eyes wide open and 2 mos later i'm down 29 lbs from eating clean (er) and exercising. I've been an emotional eater as well my entire life, i'm learning when I get too stressed or overwhelmed to take time for myself and instead of eating I go for a walk (even a few minutes help) or to the gym...or simply just get silly with my kids!

    You can do this :)

Categories