Need help with binging....

I would suggest maybe seeking some professional help. I am just now coming around to the idea that I need to do the same. I go through starve-binge cycles where I am very strict and restrictive, then I binge to the point of physical pain. I have tried lots of things--"off limit" foods, no foods being off limits, logging calories, not logging calories...nothing I try seems to work. So I am asking for further help. There's no shame in that.

Hey,

Apologies if this is a really long answer but I hope if I give you a bit of info about me it can help a bit.

I went through a period in my teens where I didn't eat and really struggled with body image. I probably spent a good three or four years of my life not eating proper or regular meals, although I didn't ever think I was anorexic because those girls didn't eat AT ALL and I was eating in the evening to present a front to my family.

Later on, I put on weight really quickly after having a few dramatic lifestyle changes all happen at the same time (I moved cities from a place where I walked all the time to a place where I had to get public transport, I moved in with my boyfriend so starting eating meals with him and I was switched by a doctor to the Depo shot rather than the pill which also can create ideal circumstances for weight gain for those already susceptible). During the next few years I put on the best part of 60lbs. Yes, the lifestyle changes didn't help, but the biggest problem was that I was eating (lots) to fill up several holes in my emotional life.

I binged regularly, almost daily, for years, eating in secret so that no-one would know. Eating pretty much twice as much as I needed. The more I reflect on those days, the more I realise that the biggest problem was that I was lonely and food was providing a means by which I didn't have to feel that loneliness. I was swallowing the feelings as I swallowed down the food. Obviously all that eating just led to more guilt and bad feeling...which led to more eating to stuff down those bad vibes too.

I eventually admitted to myself I had a problem with overeating and with food as a whole about six or seven years ago. I'd started reading around the subject of emotional eating, intuitive eating,mindfulness, Beyond Chocolate, Geneen Roth and Susie Orbach (all of these I'd recommend taking a look at) before I really admitted that I had a problem and I've used their works to shape an approach of being much kinder to myself.

You've done well to let go of restrictions and that's a good part of the battle but if you worry about achieving a state of perfect moderation you're almost putting another restriction in place. A handy stick to beat yourself up with if you don't achieve it!

What techniques have you been trying? Do you mean distraction-type stuff like "paint your nails", "have a bath" or "go for a walk"? These can help but usually it takes a while to get to a point where they do if you're dealing with a lot of emotional baggage at the same time.

Without wanting to sound like I'm telling you stuff you already know, there are a few things below which have helped me out.

Given that you've managed to pinpoint the reasons you believe you are overeating, could you perhaps try taking a few moments before each thing that you eat to just stop and work out whether you *really* want it and whether you're *really* hungry for that particular thing?

So, say you find some cake in a cake tin & your first instinct is to just stuff it down because it's there, you're bored and you might as well eat it. Stop for a moment, cut a slice, put it on a plate and take it to the table. Sit for a minute and tell yourself that you're absolutely allowed to eat this cake and *savour* it but first you're going to take a couple of moments to work out whether you really want it. Check in with yourself and think about how you're feeling, whether you're actually hungry or whether you're bored/tired/sad. Maybe write it down. After that, if you still want the cake, eat it, taste it and enjoy it. If you can, pause while you're eating and check again about whether you still want to eat the rest. I sometimes do this and think "I don't really want it, but today I'm going to eat it all anyway and that is okay". Other times I'll stop and think "No, actually I don't want any more" and put the food back or throw the remains away.

A little pause can work wonders and keeping track of how you feel when you do pause can be even more helpful as you work on accepting that sometimes you will feel like rubbish but really eating won't fix that.

And if that's too much, try consciously sitting down every time you eat - and I don't mean in front of the TV or with any other distractions. Sit and focus on what you're doing and you may find you want to do it less.

Urgh, I'm sorry this is rambly and that I've probably told you a load of stuff that you've already heard of, but I hope that there's something there you might be able to use.

x

to seraBob: Thanks for your reply. You are helping me. Yesterday I ate a dozen homemade oatmeal coconut cookies my daughter baked. Sometimes I just get a craving & just eat without thinking!! Then the day after I feel depressed about eating & weigh myself and feel hopeless. I will try out your great advice. Thanx- Ppelleti