Funny how being overweight for awhile makes you confident

I was always pretty confident - but my confidence came from other factors than my personal appearance.

Now that I am literally less than half the size I was, I do have more confidence (something that most people probably didn't think was possible) and that is related to my physical appearance

Now I can actually wear all those clothes that at 340 I wouldn't have touched with a 10 foot poll... tight and form fitting? oh heck yes - sign me up for that ... I actually cringe when I put something on and it is big and baggy because that is not who I am anymore

If you expect to look like a Victoria Secret model at goal weight then you are going to be disappointed.

Honestly, I think this is the biggest problem I see with a huge percentage of women who lose weight. I am not trying to say that I totally rise above all of that, myself...yes, I am still critical and not a fan of my arm flab for example. But I know so many women who, like me, have been obese for years or decades, but seem to believe that getting to goal weight will give them the body of a 22 yr old who has lived off sunlight and beach volleyball since birth. Why would they think that!? I guess the media. I dunno. I had the full expectation of always being a plus size even if I lost a lot of weight, and having flab all over. So I'm pleased with getting into size 10 skinnies and looking average...it exceeds my (perhaps too low) expectations. I'll take it though.

If you expect to look like a Victoria Secret model at goal weight then you are going to be disappointed.

Honestly, I think this is the biggest problem I see with a huge percentage of women who lose weight. I am not trying to say that I totally rise above all of that, myself...yes, I am still critical and not a fan of my arm flab for example. But I know so many women who, like me, have been obese for years or decades, but seem to believe that getting to goal weight will give them the body of a 22 yr old who has lived off sunlight and beach volleyball since birth. Why would they think that!? I guess the media. I dunno. I had the full expectation of always being a plus size even if I lost a lot of weight, and having flab all over. So I'm pleased with getting into size 10 skinnies and looking average...it exceeds my (perhaps too low) expectations. I'll take it though.

people just hold themselves to really high standards

I suppose so, but I think it's unfortunate when a lot of the women I describe above are truly in dangerous situations with their health - - and become so discouraged by not meeting the size 2, zero flab standard, that they give up and just stay obese and deal with associated health problems and misery.

I don't know if I would say that being overweight makes you confident... but I do agree that people feel more comfortable making comments to people who are only 10-20lbs overweight, compared to others who have much more.

I also think that maybe that confidence comes because (at least for myself, and it seems quite a few other people who've posted here) we don't need to consider our appearance when assessing ourselves. Either we actually have low self-esteem with regards to our looks, or we just don't care that much, so we don't consider it when we make our assessments of "who we are"... which allows us to assess ourselves on other factors. Are we funny? Good people-persons? Kind? Smart? And that brings confidence.

As others have mentioned, our perceptions of ourselves are often the most distorted. So maybe for those people who are either at an ideal weight, or just a small bit over... they just don't know how much worse it could be. They think those 10lbs extra are just such a huge amount and it's all that anyone else sees of them. Which I'm sure, having people tell them that they could stand to lose that doesn't help either.

I know as I lose weight, my confidence is growing. Thinking back to my opinions on myself the last time I was at this point just makes me cringe because I'm so happy here now. But now I know how far I've come.

This is a very interesting topic.....

I suffered with my confidence and thought weight loss would be the answer. I quickly realized it wasn't once I lost it. I still saw flaws, issues, where I could "tweak" things. My mind was still in the valley eventhough I made it to the mountain top. So my body quickly went back down to the place my mind never left. I'm slowly bouncin' back and beginning to see myself the way God sees me; fearfully and wonderfully made instead of those who rejected me, saw fault in me or didn't like me. I have alot to offer and I have alot to be proud of. So weightloss or nah, I know I'm fly regardless. So I've changed the way I view myself and am more confident about who I am now (even at being heavy) than ever. Once I've lost this weight; it would be expanded and building on my already foundational onfidence because I've achieved a goal and accomplished something I set out to do.