Why Skinny-Fat people are generally ignored???

Aniqana
Aniqana Posts: 95
in Health and Weight Loss
As above?? Why if we want to lose weight and are not happy with our bodies-general we are told we look good and have to accept that! Why should I accept or be happy with arm bigger than my head and having bulks on my hips that stick out of my jeans. Why should I accept my cellulite and that my swimsuit doesn't fit properly?:(

Why if I geneui don't feel ok with ,myself can't even say a word to be ignored by skinny people or laughed at by obese?? I know some people wish they could go as low but geez.. do I need to weight 100kilos to be heard and not ignored??
I am tired of fact that people don't understand what I am going through.,, well skinny girl will tell'' just accept yourself'' or ''you fine''
I dont want to be fine! I want be able to put bodycon dress to work without having bulks on my hips or put jeans on without having excess stomach hanging out!

I realised we generally being ignored... laughed at or called ridiculous or that we have mind problem... do we really need to be depressed or have mental issues - can people accept the fact we are genuinely not happy too???

I received few very useful advises on this forum but along with that many saying accept yourself or you are not fat, you fine or you will tone up etc.

Yeah but I am trying to lose within 4 weeks not 6 months.. and yes I am not happy with my body, neither have eating disorders or depression! I eat to little because i don't know what to eat, i dont know how to exercise because instead of people giving me valuable advises they prefer to tell ''im fine'' (people in general -not in this forum etc) I am reading google- one site says eat this- other says don't eat that. One site say exercise this and this much -other says this is wrong!! I am confused and really dont know what to do.

Please accept Skinny-fat people and treat them like others.. we dont need to hear-accept yourself or you fine- we not and dont want accept -we do want to have perfect body same as you!
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Replies

  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Skinny fat people are not ignored, you just aren't being told what you seem to want to hear. If you are skinny fat, as in are at a healthy weight for your height but have a high body fat percentage, focusing on the number on the scale isn't the right way to go. Your goal is less about losing weight and more about body composition, in which you reduce your body fat while retaining your lean muscle.

    In order to do that, you need to eat at a slight deficit, about 0.5 lb loss per week, so that you will be losing fat and not muscle. Lift heavy weights, do a little bit of cardio, eat lots of protein to feed your muscles. You probably won't see much movement on the scale, but your measurements will shrink and you will be smaller and tighter.

    ETA: You can see changes within four weeks, but you are not going to see a massive overhaul in that time. The process takes time, but it's worth it to get the body you want.
  • aprilwatkins96
    aprilwatkins96 Posts: 7 Member
    Sigh. I can definitely relate to this. I have never been significantly overweight but have gained more than 10lbs a winter over the past two winters (lost it all last year but sadly regained). I have experienced people telling me I didn't need to lose weight and even had a coworker ask if I had an eating disorder (based solely on my expression that I was trying to lose weight). It can be tough but it is important to ignore people who are trying to be negative as long as your goals are positive for you. When you are smaller even a slight weight gain can cause problems. For example, I have about seven pairs of pants I haven't been able to fit into until recently.

    You don't really owe anyone an explanation but I think expressing that you understand you don't have a "significant weight issue" but that your clothes don't fit well and that you want to get your weight back under control before it turns into a problem.

    I agree with the other person who indicated to go slow and expect that it will take longer to lose the weight since you don't have as much to lose. I have been losing about 0.6 a week. I am tracking my calories and exercising regularly. Measuring is good too because you will often notice those changes even if the scale is moving very slowly.

    Good luck!
  • Synchronicity
    Synchronicity Posts: 82 Member
    Skinny fat people are not ignored, you just aren't being told what you seem to want to hear. If you are skinny fat, as in are at a healthy weight for your height but have a high body fat percentage, focusing on the number on the scale isn't the right way to go. Your goal is less about losing weight and more about body composition, in which you reduce your body fat while retaining your lean muscle.

    In order to do that, you need to eat at a slight deficit, about 0.5 lb loss per week, so that you will be losing fat and not muscle. Lift heavy weights, do a little bit of cardio, eat lots of protein to feed your muscles. You probably won't see much movement on the scale, but your measurements will shrink and you will be smaller and tighter.

    ETA: You can see changes within four weeks, but you are not going to see a massive overhaul in that time. The process takes time, but it's worth it to get the body you want.

    This is a perfect response :)
  • BombshellPhoenix
    BombshellPhoenix Posts: 1,693 Member
    So, you're saying you shouldn't love yourself for who you are?

    See. Losing weight, toning up, looking the way you envision is nice and all but if you go down this path with a negative mindset, you will always see negative. Perhaps that's what people are trying to protest to you. I lost 53 lbs but my mind was the same. I still pinpointed things I didn't like. I still felt uncomfortable in a bikini. That's why you need to learn to love yourself and focus on the good.

    1 thing I accepted. There will always be someone further than me in anything I do. Weight loss, lifting, life...that doesn't make my journey any less. That doesn't make me inferior. Our struggles are personal and spending our time measuring ourselves based on others is a futile pursuit. Sure, challenge yourself. Look to always improve but do so with the idea that you're unique and beautiful. That you are not a number on a scale or the size of your jeans. You are you.

    Also, putting a time limit is bound to lead to disappointment. Don't. This is a lifelong battle. Take it slow. Take it one day at a time, depending on your goals. If your BMI is nearing underweight and you're unsatisfied, eat at maintenance. Lift heavy. Be patient. Maybe even bulk slowly to gain some muscle.
  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,067 Member
    Skinny fat people are not ignored, you just aren't being told what you seem to want to hear. If you are skinny fat, as in are at a healthy weight for your height but have a high body fat percentage, focusing on the number on the scale isn't the right way to go. Your goal is less about losing weight and more about body composition, in which you reduce your body fat while retaining your lean muscle.

    In order to do that, you need to eat at a slight deficit, about 0.5 lb loss per week, so that you will be losing fat and not muscle. Lift heavy weights, do a little bit of cardio, eat lots of protein to feed your muscles. You probably won't see much movement on the scale, but your measurements will shrink and you will be smaller and tighter.

    ETA: You can see changes within four weeks, but you are not going to see a massive overhaul in that time. The process takes time, but it's worth it to get the body you want.
    seconded.

    though im inclined to think that "skinny-fat" people should start out by bulking to get a good muscle base before cutting.
    if you cut then bulk, you will end up gaining a decent amount of fat in the process, and since skinny-fat people by definition dont have much muscle mass they cannot afford to lose any before bulking, as well as the fact that at a lower muscle mass you burn less calories so your eating is more restricted. if you bulk and then cut you may lose some of the muscle that you gained in the bulking process however it will be easier to cut down the fat at a higher weight with more muscle
  • pookeyism
    pookeyism Posts: 84 Member
    I would not worry what people say, good or bad. Eat healthy, exercise and be a friendly person and the rest comes along. I do occasionally get the questions from my friends that are in the range I think you may be referring to and I find the answers to the clothing is the clothes fit, if you have the correct size. Get a size up, perhaps get jeans for longer torsos? The cut of clothing counts for alot, any size.
  • stringsNlinks
    stringsNlinks Posts: 293 Member
    Skinny fat people are not ignored, you just aren't being told what you seem to want to hear. If you are skinny fat, as in are at a healthy weight for your height but have a high body fat percentage, focusing on the number on the scale isn't the right way to go. Your goal is less about losing weight and more about body composition, in which you reduce your body fat while retaining your lean muscle.

    In order to do that, you need to eat at a slight deficit, about 0.5 lb loss per week, so that you will be losing fat and not muscle. Lift heavy weights, do a little bit of cardio, eat lots of protein to feed your muscles. You probably won't see much movement on the scale, but your measurements will shrink and you will be smaller and tighter.

    ETA: You can see changes within four weeks, but you are not going to see a massive overhaul in that time. The process takes time, but it's worth it to get the body you want.

    This is a perfect response :)
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    Skinny fat people are not ignored, you just aren't being told what you seem to want to hear. If you are skinny fat, as in are at a healthy weight for your height but have a high body fat percentage, focusing on the number on the scale isn't the right way to go. Your goal is less about losing weight and more about body composition, in which you reduce your body fat while retaining your lean muscle.

    In order to do that, you need to eat at a slight deficit, about 0.5 lb loss per week, so that you will be losing fat and not muscle. Lift heavy weights, do a little bit of cardio, eat lots of protein to feed your muscles. You probably won't see much movement on the scale, but your measurements will shrink and you will be smaller and tighter.

    ETA: You can see changes within four weeks, but you are not going to see a massive overhaul in that time. The process takes time, but it's worth it to get the body you want.
    seconded.

    though im inclined to think that "skinny-fat" people should start out by bulking to get a good muscle base before cutting.
    if you cut then bulk, you will end up gaining a decent amount of fat in the process, and since skinny-fat people by definition dont have much muscle mass they cannot afford to lose any before bulking, as well as the fact that at a lower muscle mass you burn less calories so your eating is more restricted. if you bulk and then cut you may lose some of the muscle that you gained in the bulking process however it will be easier to cut down the fat at a higher weight with more muscle

    Agreed.
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
    As you can see by my avatar, I'm skinny fat, too. On top of that, I have spinal issues that prevents me from going crazy on the heavy weights too often, so to some extent I can't take the otherwise very good advice you're being offered.

    Do what you can to build up your muscles for your general health and bone and joint support, and it will also happen to help with your appearance.

    Sorry, but don't expect people here to suggest that you can go lower than the normal weight range. No one should ever tell you that unless it's your doctor who has just run a dexascan or whatever and given you the all clear to lose more. Us forum posters don't have all the facts and therefore shouldn't risk accidentally encouraging you to attain an unhealthy weight.
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  • summer92008
    summer92008 Posts: 202
    I can relate to this, as well. People (even my family and boyfriend) say that I don't need to lose weight because I'm the way I am. And I agree for the most part -I don't have an excess of fat all over my body, my arms and legs are skinny, and I'm not overweight for my size. But I carry weight in my belly. I have a belly bulge that really straight up frustrates me. But I am perfectly fine with the rest of my body.

    So...I'm 5'6'' tall, 145 lbs right now, and am 20 years old.
    For the first two weeks, I consumed 1,200 calories a day (whatever I wanted, but when I hit 1,200 calories, I stopped eating.)
    Now, into week 3, I'm upping my calories to around 1,500 a day. MFP says I will lose 1 lb. a week consuming these many calories. Thus far I have lost 4 lbs. in the past 3 weeks, so I am doing good.
    I usually walk every day 4-5 miles, which burns 350-450 calories according to the MapMyWalk App. It all varies for everyone, though. If you have a large enough deficit in your calories, exercising isn't as important, but it is still good to burn extra calories and tone up. Oh, and I also didn't eat back most of my exercise calories. If I was really hungry, I would eat back some, but rarely ever all of them.
  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
    what.gif
  • ge105
    ge105 Posts: 268 Member
    I consider myself skinny fat and I got tons of great advice on here from the fitter people on the weight gain/muscle building forms especially. Mostly I got quit eating at a deficit, don't do too much cardio and lift or do something like convict conditioning/ you are your own gym.

    Bulking is the the only way to get more muscle- you have to eat more. I'm going to bulk come fall. Then cut come spring, hit repeat until I have abs that make grown men jelly.

    About seeing results in 4 weeks- I've been doing this for just under two weeks- I've already seen improvement. Like someone else said, its not huge, but I can see it. Good luck.
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  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    :huh:
  • ElyseL1
    ElyseL1 Posts: 504 Member
    weights? sorry, its abt changing your body structure, you dont have to be happy with it or accept it. working out is the only way the change things though, you cant diet it away if you are already at a healthy body weight. kettlebells are great if you want a whole body work out.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Purely losing weight does not mean the percentage of fat in your body falls. Unless you do something to alter your body composition, you just ended up looking a smaller, still chubby, person.
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
    Many times people feel ignored when they are told something they do not want to hear.
  • aliakynes
    aliakynes Posts: 352 Member
    If skinny fat is the problem, weight lifting is the cure.

    As far as the persecuted minority stuff, plan a rally. Now skinny fat is another group who wants special consideration, like the clean eaters.

    You are not your diet, you're not even your body. If you're not happy being skinny fat, lift weights. Problem solved.

    There's not much more to say than this. For the majority, it's all about the number on the scale despite posts like this showing that it doesn't matter when you're already at a healthy/low-ish BMI: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1222939-look-what-3-years-of-lifting-can-do (spoiler: she's heavier in the after photo).

    For medical issues that limit a solid lifting program, there are physical therapists that can help work around them. That's just not something the MFP folks can or should be giving advise on.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    Skinny fat people are not ignored, you just aren't being told what you seem to want to hear. If you are skinny fat, as in are at a healthy weight for your height but have a high body fat percentage, focusing on the number on the scale isn't the right way to go. Your goal is less about losing weight and more about body composition, in which you reduce your body fat while retaining your lean muscle.

    In order to do that, you need to eat at a slight deficit, about 0.5 lb loss per week, so that you will be losing fat and not muscle. Lift heavy weights, do a little bit of cardio, eat lots of protein to feed your muscles. You probably won't see much movement on the scale, but your measurements will shrink and you will be smaller and tighter.

    ETA: You can see changes within four weeks, but you are not going to see a massive overhaul in that time. The process takes time, but it's worth it to get the body you want.

    This.

    Also, I get the sense that people are using "skinny fat" in a way differently than it's normally used. It doesn't simply mean people who are within a normal weight range but want to lose weight or even people who are generally dissatisfied with their bodies. It means someone who is within the normal BMI range and may even appear a good weight (especially when clothed), but has a higher than healthy body fat percentage. Or more simply, someone whose weight is not really the issue, but the body fat or composition is. If that's the case, of course no one will encourage you to just lose as fast as possible--that's not going to address the problem. That doesn't mean that people are being unsupportive. The issue is best addressed by strength training and building muscle--or if you really want to work on losing fat first, in the way outlined above. What you want, presumably, is to reshape your body and lose inches, and that's not going to happen just from losing pounds, especially not as speedily as possible.
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Skinny fat people are not ignored, you just aren't being told what you seem to want to hear. If you are skinny fat, as in are at a healthy weight for your height but have a high body fat percentage, focusing on the number on the scale isn't the right way to go. Your goal is less about losing weight and more about body composition, in which you reduce your body fat while retaining your lean muscle.

    In order to do that, you need to eat at a slight deficit, about 0.5 lb loss per week, so that you will be losing fat and not muscle. Lift heavy weights, do a little bit of cardio, eat lots of protein to feed your muscles. You probably won't see much movement on the scale, but your measurements will shrink and you will be smaller and tighter.

    ETA: You can see changes within four weeks, but you are not going to see a massive overhaul in that time. The process takes time, but it's worth it to get the body you want.
    seconded.

    though im inclined to think that "skinny-fat" people should start out by bulking to get a good muscle base before cutting.
    if you cut then bulk, you will end up gaining a decent amount of fat in the process, and since skinny-fat people by definition dont have much muscle mass they cannot afford to lose any before bulking, as well as the fact that at a lower muscle mass you burn less calories so your eating is more restricted. if you bulk and then cut you may lose some of the muscle that you gained in the bulking process however it will be easier to cut down the fat at a higher weight with more muscle

    Where in the weight loss process do you think it is appropriate to do a bulk? I'm not trying to argue the bulk vs recomp issue, I think both have their place and both can be effective depending on the individual. I'm honestly curious because I think there are a lot of people who are either struggling with vanity weight/ more fat than they would like, or who are frustrated at trying to lose those last few pounds, but do not consider the idea of bulking until they hit goal weight.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I may or may not be skinny fat. But that is how I SEE myself. And two answer your question, I do not believe that my concerns are "ignored"

    A few things to consider. Those you are griping to, where are they as far as they want to be physically. They may not want to hear you constantly saying you hate where you are. Especially if they consider your body a very good "end" point.

    You might look better than you think(most of us do)

    When you do commiserate, try to talk about GOALS rather than just "oh man this stupid fat". That may make you a bit easier to relate to.
  • SilentDrapeRunners
    SilentDrapeRunners Posts: 199 Member
    I agree with what's been said above. When you're skinny fat, you really have to ignore the number on the scale. Use it as a means to gauge progress, but don't use it as a goal to shoot for or a final number to aim for. Aim for changing body composition which can be done by lifting heavy weights and doing bulking-cutting cycles. Also, keep in mind that the process takes a looooong time (since for women especially it's very difficult (but not impossible) to put on significant muscle mass). You also have to mindful of what you're doing (lifting heavy and eating enough protein) in order to retain as much muscle as possible when you cut. I bulked from Jan-June and gained 10 lbs. Now I'm cutting for a bit before I do another bulk in a couple months. In general, if your body fat % is around 22-26% you should cut to get down to around 17-20% before you bulk.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    ...we do want to have perfect body same as you!
    I think that's the issue. Most people here are under no delusion that they're ever getting a 'perfect body'. We want a healthy BMI.

    We see you young girls with 'perfect weight' thinking you're going to diet down to a 'perfect body' and we try to warn you. Even bikini models don't have perfect bodies. You're chasing a unicorn.

    There is no such thing as 'skinny fat', just thin and unhappy with your body composition or shape.
  • LAT1963
    LAT1963 Posts: 1,375 Member
    Skinny fat people are not ignored, you just aren't being told what you seem to want to hear. If you are skinny fat, as in are at a healthy weight for your height but have a high body fat percentage, focusing on the number on the scale isn't the right way to go. Your goal is less about losing weight and more about body composition, in which you reduce your body fat while retaining your lean muscle.

    In order to do that, you need to eat at a slight deficit, about 0.5 lb loss per week, so that you will be losing fat and not muscle. Lift heavy weights, do a little bit of cardio, eat lots of protein to feed your muscles. You probably won't see much movement on the scale, but your measurements will shrink and you will be smaller and tighter.

    ETA: You can see changes within four weeks, but you are not going to see a massive overhaul in that time. The process takes time, but it's worth it to get the body you want.

    This.
  • LAT1963
    LAT1963 Posts: 1,375 Member
    ...we do want to have perfect body same as you!
    I think that's the issue. Most people here are under no delusion that they're ever getting a 'perfect body'. We want a healthy BMI.

    We see you young girls with 'perfect weight' thinking you're going to diet down to a 'perfect body' and we try to warn you. Even bikini models don't have perfect bodies. You're chasing a unicorn.

    There is no such thing as 'skinny fat', just thin and unhappy with your body composition or shape.

    Bikini models don't have perfect bodies, they just have perfect Photoshop. :laugh:
  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,067 Member
    Skinny fat people are not ignored, you just aren't being told what you seem to want to hear. If you are skinny fat, as in are at a healthy weight for your height but have a high body fat percentage, focusing on the number on the scale isn't the right way to go. Your goal is less about losing weight and more about body composition, in which you reduce your body fat while retaining your lean muscle.

    In order to do that, you need to eat at a slight deficit, about 0.5 lb loss per week, so that you will be losing fat and not muscle. Lift heavy weights, do a little bit of cardio, eat lots of protein to feed your muscles. You probably won't see much movement on the scale, but your measurements will shrink and you will be smaller and tighter.

    ETA: You can see changes within four weeks, but you are not going to see a massive overhaul in that time. The process takes time, but it's worth it to get the body you want.
    seconded.

    though im inclined to think that "skinny-fat" people should start out by bulking to get a good muscle base before cutting.
    if you cut then bulk, you will end up gaining a decent amount of fat in the process, and since skinny-fat people by definition dont have much muscle mass they cannot afford to lose any before bulking, as well as the fact that at a lower muscle mass you burn less calories so your eating is more restricted. if you bulk and then cut you may lose some of the muscle that you gained in the bulking process however it will be easier to cut down the fat at a higher weight with more muscle

    Where in the weight loss process do you think it is appropriate to do a bulk? I'm not trying to argue the bulk vs recomp issue, I think both have their place and both can be effective depending on the individual. I'm honestly curious because I think there are a lot of people who are either struggling with vanity weight/ more fat than they would like, or who are frustrated at trying to lose those last few pounds, but do not consider the idea of bulking until they hit goal weight.
    it really depends on your goals and where you started out to begin with. for myself, i started out with a pretty good muscle base from sports and whatnot, so im not going to try for a bulk until i hit my goal weight. for someone who wants to gain muscle, ive always thought bulking first is the best option

    im personally against recomps, bulk/cut cycles are faster and give a little more leeway in terms of diet

    ETA; this may sound mean or whatever, but also mental strength. many people cant handle the idea of putting on weight when their end game is too look better, its a little counter intuitive
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    I see this a lot on this site. "You're already in the healthy weight range for your height, why do you want to be smaller?" Or people who seem to think that since they are 100 lbs over weight, someone who is 10lbs over weight shouldn't worry about it. If you want a smoking body and are willing to put in the work (diligent with consumption and macros, lifting heavy) more power to you! Do it right and get it done. Do you need attention from people to lose fat? No.
  • in_the_stars
    in_the_stars Posts: 1,395 Member
    hmmm... I'm skinny fat right now due to injuries in the past few months. I'm still skinny and somewhat fit, look good in clothes and bikinis. Label cans ,not people.
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