I "diet" and husband gets compliments.. wait, what??

laurahadenough
laurahadenough Posts: 28 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Ok.. just a quick whinge here.. bear with me.. I started this weight loss journey 8 weeks ago and have lost 25 pounds. I feel better and my pants are starting to fall off so I know it is visible. We went to visit my parents yesterday and my Dad, after having greeted me, looked at my husband and said "gee you have lost weight!!"..

Granted he has lost one kilo eating my healthy new food.. ONE . KILO. !!!

So.. what's with that?? :(

PS ate so much over the weekend now feeling quite ashamed :sad:
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Replies

  • OhhNiff
    OhhNiff Posts: 1,397 Member
    Guys lose weight differently than women, and sadly it takes others a bit more to notice. Just be proud of what you've accomplished thus far and sooner rather than later people will start to take notice.

    Look at this weekend as an enjoyable one and get back to eating your more healthy new food tomorrow.
  • vegwrangler
    vegwrangler Posts: 143 Member
    You're not alone :-). I lose 30+ pounds, nothing. Husband puts on a dark shirt and sucks it in a bit and people start coming out of the woodwork "Hey, you lost weight!"

    Um, nope.

    Over here folks...
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    It's not a contest. Be proud of him and happy that your family likes him.
  • flumi_f
    flumi_f Posts: 1,888 Member
    Might be easier for people to comment a man's weight than a woman's....that's dangerous territory :wink:

    Well done on your own loss!
  • 1LadyKate
    1LadyKate Posts: 78 Member
    LOL I know what you mean. My husband has lots 10 lbs almost 11 and I have lost 4. He looks different and other than my arms I look the same. I just have to remind myself that I am losing weight for me not for others to notice me.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    I had to lose nearly 80 pounds before my mother said anything without a prompt. Our parents don't look at us the same way as they do our partners and friends.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    It's not a contest. Be proud of him and happy that your family likes him.

    this!
  • wellingtontinker
    wellingtontinker Posts: 5
    last year i lost 34lbs , my husband never lost a single 1lb and yet everyone complimented him it didn't do my confidence any good . I suffered anxiety panic in Nov-Dec put it all back on and people are calling me fat lol .

    I started again last week and lost 1lb big wow
  • TonyPillz
    TonyPillz Posts: 248 Member
    Have you lost weight can be interrupted 2 ways?

    You looked like a whale before

    &

    You looked like a whale before

    In my opinion you cant win with women in regards to compliments during weight loss , every women i complimented on weightloss said to me , so you thought i was fat before?
  • wellingtontinker
    wellingtontinker Posts: 5
    My parents tell me i am overweight all the time and hardly ever notice when i lose weight .
  • curlygirl513
    curlygirl513 Posts: 199 Member
    Have you lost weight can be interrupted 2 ways?

    You looked like a whale before

    &

    You looked like a whale before

    In my opinion you cant win with women in regards to compliments during weight loss , every women i complimented on weightloss said to me , so you thought i was fat before?
    You are funny. But I agree with you some women are so reactive to nearly anything said about them. I went to Starbucks at some horrid hour like 4:30 am and the barrista said she was tired. I said I am too, and I can see you are tired. She went beserk and kept saying, "So you think I look tired?!!!!!" How dare I have said something like that. I realized how that was a sore point for her, even if she said she was tired, I was tired and looked it and it was 4:30 in the morning.

    Ya gotta say some women got issues.
  • peacheswi
    peacheswi Posts: 91 Member
    I wish my parents were still alive so they could "not notice" my weight loss.
    Consider yourself lucky you still have your parents around.

    I agree with the other posters - commenting on a woman's weight loss is a landmine for men.
    Even as a woman, I struggle with what to say to another woman who has lost weight.
    People are different - some will take it as a compliment that you noticed, others will be offended that you really mean they were fat before.

    Just keep going, and keep a smile on your face.
    Lose weight for you - regardless of what others think or say (or don't say).
  • bridgew24
    bridgew24 Posts: 143 Member
    Don't take it personally, people don't tend to notice weight changes in people they see frequently because it's gradual. Just like you don't notice the little wrinkles and what not appearing on your partner over time until they're huge :wink:

    I.e: I lost 5 kilos while my parents lived in the country = they didn't notice.
    I lost 2 kilos in the 3 months they were overseas = They noticed as soon as they got back!
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    I have a very overweight friend who tends to belittle a lot of my accomplishments. I recently lost 3 pounds, three inches, and reached 19.6% body fat. Her response was I don't see any difference. My response was no, you probably don't. I notice. That's what's important.

    People have theIr own issues. I wouldn't want hers. :-)
  • soidade
    soidade Posts: 116 Member
    The reason that women get defensive when you mention weight loss is because society tells us that we're worthless unless we're attractive. If we have any "issues," it's a lifetime of being valued (or devalued) on the basis of our looks.
  • Biglkd
    Biglkd Posts: 1 Member
    well done on losing so much weight. Nothing beats the accomplishment of clothes fitting you better and just generally feeling good about yourself.

    People don't tend to notice if they see you all the time or sometimes its just a case of wearing different clothes. A size smaller and something to show off your new found shape works well.

    As for your other half he's probably eating health with you so take his accomplishments as another sign of your hard work.

    Take care

    LKD :happy:
  • katewright699
    katewright699 Posts: 28
    I have the same exact problem, I'm dieting and my husband is diabetic and has lost some weight recently through it, they walk straight past me to tell him how well he looks and to keep up the good work lmfao !!! How annoying :D
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  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    You also have to consider what kind of relationship you and your dad have...and had in the past. Maybe he's learned not to mention your weight, b/c maybe it was a sensitive topic.
  • HM2206
    HM2206 Posts: 174 Member
    Several reasons I suppose.

    - Men carry more weight on their stomach. So it's big vs. small/flat.

    - It's easier to notice on non-relatives.

    - Your parents might not know how comfortable you are discussing weight.

    I was very concerned with my weight growing up so I think mum doesn't say anything because she doesn't want to encourage me going too low (only got vanity pounds to lose). She has no problem pointing it out if I'm too skinny though, but that's just mothers I suppose.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    You should have used it as an opportunity to say how much you've both lost, since you wanted acknowledgement.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    It's hard to figure. I bottomed out around 160 and have since, by intention and weight lifting pushed it back up to 175. People sometimes tell me I've lost enough weight and that I need to stop. Huh?
  • RacheleRountree
    RacheleRountree Posts: 12
    well I can't get this thing to post where I want it to ... argh.
  • RacheleRountree
    RacheleRountree Posts: 12
    Have you lost weight can be interrupted 2 ways?

    You looked like a whale before

    &

    You looked like a whale before

    In my opinion you cant win with women in regards to compliments during weight loss , every women i complimented on weightloss said to me , so you thought i was fat before?

    I had to read this twice before I wasn't offended. I know I could have just as easily "got it" and went on my way, but for some reason I felt compelled to reply!

    #1) I think you're right ... My husband has said to me - wow baby, I can REALLY tell you're losing weight. My outward reaction - THANK YOU BABY! My internal reaction - GREAT! So he DID think I was fat!!!

    #2) I wish you weren't right. I really am happy when people tell me that they can tell that I've lost weight and I want to be able to use that mush on - not read into it and end up making myself upset.

    Anyway - thank you for your honesty ... even if you didn't mean to speak to me - you did! :) Have a great rest of the day! P.S. I think you should still tell women if you notice they lost weight ... :)
  • JeffInJax
    JeffInJax Posts: 232 Member
    I generally compliment if im feeling brave like "You looked great before, but i can tell your hard work is paying off" So far it hasnt backfired on me yet, probably will next time i say something similar.
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
    YOU noticed that you lost weight, OP. That's what matters. If you know the weight is coming off, don't worry if others don't notice. You know, and you feel better.
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  • tarcotti
    tarcotti Posts: 205 Member
    I love it when people tell me I look good and have lost weight! Because well, I know I was fat or overweight before. I look better now and that is all that matters.

    Congrats on your loss OP! Once you lose more, I'm sure it will be more obvious to them. Don't let it get you down, you are doing this for you, not them anyway :)
  • stormbornkraken
    stormbornkraken Posts: 302 Member
    You're not alone :-). I lose 30+ pounds, nothing. Husband puts on a dark shirt and sucks it in a bit and people start coming out of the woodwork "Hey, you lost weight!"

    Um, nope.

    Over here folks...

    :laugh: This sums it up perfectly!

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