Really struggling...

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Jkn921
Jkn921 Posts: 309 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey all,

I've really been struggling with my mindset (mainly) and I'm self-destructive to my efforts. I have previously lost weight in the past successfully for long periods of time but when I came home, I've managed to sabotage my efforts.

I see each day as a new chance but if I do one thing that I know isn't good (consuming a chocolate - one of my downfalls) I feel very guilty and can't get rid of the guilt and the thoughts "this is never going to happen"..

I also used to love healthy foods but my stomach turns now and all I want to eat is junk food, it's been hard to enjoy the good foods I used to love.

Replies

  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
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    Stop beating yourself up. Instead of the one unhealthy thing congratulate yourself for the 25 healthy things you did. Don't label foods as healthy and junk. I had Burger King for lunch today but am fitting it into my calories and macros and moving on.
  • adopp062715
    adopp062715 Posts: 93 Member
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    Try not to beat yourself up about eating one chocolate. Just make sure it fits into your calories for the day. Then you won't feel so bad. Also, when you start to reach for the bad stuff, try to do something else for awhile. Maybe take your mind off the craving until you feel you can control yourself to go get that healthy food.
  • gobraves47
    gobraves47 Posts: 213 Member
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    *hugs* be kind to yourself, but don't give up. Really, you can do this--As long as you keep going. If you quit, you definitely won't get where you want to go. Good Luck!
  • Jkn921
    Jkn921 Posts: 309 Member
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    I'm stupid because I'm being really impatient as I feel I HAVE to exercise which makes it feel like a chore. I used to love exercising of free will but lately feel like it's something I have to do making me resent it a bit. The chocolate is one thing, everything just feels really impossible at the minute. I put on 6lbs and before it wasn't showing but all of a sudden...it's showing. The thing is, if I lose 10lbs within the three months before I'm due back to University, I'd surpassed my goal for the summer so it's two ways. I'm finding it hard to put in the work at the minute and the hot weather doesn't help :/
  • shutch2112
    shutch2112 Posts: 236 Member
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    I totally understand about the heat... I have been less than enthused about working out with it hovering around 90 here in Seattle. (Not our typical weather!) I keep telling myself that as long as I stick to the calorie goal, I'll still lose weight, but sometimes I feel very guilty for skipping my work outs... :(
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
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    Work on your all-or-nothing/black & white thinking. CBT is good for this. There is a lot you can do with CBT out of self-help books. That kind of thinking is very self-destructive and will really get you nowhere; in life generally, but especially with trying to lose weight. Seeing foods as "good" or "bad" or "junk" or "healthy" is part of this. All foods have positives and negatives and contribute something different to an overall balanced diet. Some foods have more protein, some have more fibre, some have more vitamin C, some contribute very little in nutrients, but are enjoyable to eat. And that's ok.

    Maybe also try to see time as continuous rather than starting and stopping each day. Stop starting over each day. Today counts just as much as tomorrow. Stop seeing the day as "ruined" if you eat something you didn't plan on eating. Just do better the every next choice you make. Don't let the day be a write-off only to start again tomorrow. This is a continuous process, and perfection is not necessary.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
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    I'm stupid because I'm being really impatient as I feel I HAVE to exercise which makes it feel like a chore. I used to love exercising of free will but lately feel like it's something I have to do making me resent it a bit. The chocolate is one thing, everything just feels really impossible at the minute. I put on 6lbs and before it wasn't showing but all of a sudden...it's showing. The thing is, if I lose 10lbs within the three months before I'm due back to University, I'd surpassed my goal for the summer so it's two ways. I'm finding it hard to put in the work at the minute and the hot weather doesn't help :/
    You don't have to exercise to lose weight. You really don't. What matters is how much energy you're taking in versus how much you're expending, and most of that is determined through diet. Stop forcing yourself to do exercise in order to lose weight, and go back to doing the exercise you enjoy, when you want to do it.
  • spanishgirl182006
    spanishgirl182006 Posts: 5
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    I've told others about this and I don't mean to sound repetitive, but here's the website to the no s diet. It helps with that all or nothing mindset! It helped me anyway. Everyone is different so, it might not be for you. But it has been helping me!

    http://nosdiet.com/
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    If you are feeling guilty over eating 1 piece of chocolate, I'm gonna say you may need to talk to a professional because that is not healthy.
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
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    I've told others about this and I don't mean to sound repetitive, but here's the website to the no s diet. It helps with that all or nothing mindset! It helped me anyway. Everyone is different so, it might not be for you. But it has been helping me!

    http://nosdiet.com/

    Thanks for posting this.. bookmarked to read later
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,324 Member
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    have you explore the 'if it fits your macros' method?

    it doesnt always have to be about WHAT food you eat, but HOW MUCH of it you eat.

    there are plenty of people on here (many on my FL) who have had great success losing weight this way.
    i have also had some success doing this.

    the key to my failure is restriction and elimination of things.
    once i realized i can eat my favorite foods and STILL lose weight by maintaining a healthy caloric deficit, my failure went away.

    you shouldnt have guilt over eating something.
    IIFYM may help you mend your relationship with food.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Hey all,

    I've really been struggling with my mindset (mainly) and I'm self-destructive to my efforts. I have previously lost weight in the past successfully for long periods of time but when I came home, I've managed to sabotage my efforts.

    I see each day as a new chance but if I do one thing that I know isn't good (consuming a chocolate - one of my downfalls) I feel very guilty and can't get rid of the guilt and the thoughts "this is never going to happen"..

    I also used to love healthy foods but my stomach turns now and all I want to eat is junk food, it's been hard to enjoy the good foods I used to love.

    I frequently eat dark chocolate to make my iron goal. My suggestion would be to look at the positive side of "junk" food. What macro composition does it have? What micro-nutrients? When SHOULD you be incorporating it into your diet?
  • Jkn921
    Jkn921 Posts: 309 Member
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    Firstly, the 'one' piece of chocolate is not accurate, I never said only one piece. However I do feel my main problems are snacking so when I do snack i.e. eat chocolate, I feel bad about it only because I feel I am starting out and don't really 'deserve' it yet till I put in the hard work to lose SOME weight first.

    I think my main problem may be impatience more than anything. I know I can do this because I've done it before. I've fallen into a bigger trap a year ago where I gained 15lbs and got back into shape over a few months. I'm just finding it really difficult. What I may start doing is focus on exercising 4 times per week and reducing my snack intake as a starter.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
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    Firstly, the 'one' piece of chocolate is not accurate, I never said only one piece. However I do feel my main problems are snacking so when I do snack i.e. eat chocolate, I feel bad about it only because I feel I am starting out and don't really 'deserve' it yet till I put in the hard work to lose SOME weight first.
    Honestly, that's still not a very healthy attitude to have. You don't need to put in a certain amount of "hard work" in order to "deserve" eating food that you enjoy.
  • Jkn921
    Jkn921 Posts: 309 Member
    Options
    Firstly, the 'one' piece of chocolate is not accurate, I never said only one piece. However I do feel my main problems are snacking so when I do snack i.e. eat chocolate, I feel bad about it only because I feel I am starting out and don't really 'deserve' it yet till I put in the hard work to lose SOME weight first.
    Honestly, that's still not a very healthy attitude to have. You don't need to put in a certain amount of "hard work" in order to "deserve" eating food that you enjoy.

    I know, it's wrong :( Maybe I'm putting extra pressure on myself for no good reason. I'm surprised I gained 6lbs as I thought it'd be a lot more. I'm taking it one day at a time and see what happens, will try to build myself back up. I've been reading CBT for dummies book which has a section on self-esteem and weight so I'll need to dig into that very soon.
  • thegreatcanook
    thegreatcanook Posts: 2,419 Member
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    I'd love to help encourage and motivate you. In the last 2 years I have lost 106 lbs and my wife has lost 80....all with food tracking and regular exercise! Feel free to add me!
  • Jkn921
    Jkn921 Posts: 309 Member
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    Did about 35-40 minutes of exercise for the day, am very pleased as I kept pushing myself (planned to only do one workout but done 3)
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,573 Member
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    :( Maybe I'm putting extra pressure on myself for no good reason.

    ^THIS.

    Stop it. Just start today. If you want a treat, work it into your daily calorie intake. Don't go over your daily calorie intake....that's all. And if you do, then see where you could have made different choices for tomorrow.

    A few days ago I had two meximelts from Taco Bell for a whopping 500 calories. I probably won't do that again, because to me the amount of calories and fat is not worth the treat at all. So next time, I'll just have one. ;)
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    Firstly, the 'one' piece of chocolate is not accurate, I never said only one piece. However I do feel my main problems are snacking so when I do snack i.e. eat chocolate, I feel bad about it only because I feel I am starting out and don't really 'deserve' it yet till I put in the hard work to lose SOME weight first.
    Honestly, that's still not a very healthy attitude to have. You don't need to put in a certain amount of "hard work" in order to "deserve" eating food that you enjoy.

    I know, it's wrong :( Maybe I'm putting extra pressure on myself for no good reason. I'm surprised I gained 6lbs as I thought it'd be a lot more. I'm taking it one day at a time and see what happens, will try to build myself back up. I've been reading CBT for dummies book which has a section on self-esteem and weight so I'll need to dig into that very soon.

    I'm going to suggest finding someone you can talk to. A counselor or something. They can help with self-esteem and weight.

    Good luck.
  • glenise12
    glenise12 Posts: 1
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    When my mindset is great (usually after someone has taken a photo of me that I have seen - and am disgusted at) I am awesome!!!! When my mindset is really low (usually because I stuffed up and say - well now its ruined - and eat.......and eat...) I suck!!

    I have had some really good success with hypnotism to aid weight loss. It sounded a bit "kooky" initially to me...and I can almost hear people rolling their eyes at me when I tell them....but it helped me with the mindset.

    It's not like those stage hypnotisms - and I walked out of my initial session trying to see if I had been "healed" .... I didn't notice anything really - until my Mum noticed I wasn't obsessing over food anymore - then I realised ... I hadn't been thinking constantly about cans and cannots....It just felt easier to make the right choice. I still had the ability to choose "naughty foods" ...but it wasn't a "should I / shouldn't I" situation, it was just "easier".

    I was also looking in the mirror and thinking "oh that shirt looks nice" rather than...."I can see that bit of fat there".

    Anyway just thought I would share my experience. Food for thought - no pun intended...

    Good luck and try to stay positive.

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