Fallen off the wagon in a big way. I am devistated.

I am probably a hypocrite for saying this because I am fairly obsessed with health and fitness but...

I feel that sometimes folks take this all too seriously which leads to binges, guilt, shame, over reacting, etc.

I know that for me, the more I think about counting calories and burning calories and eating clean and all that, the more I become obsessed with food and when the next time I'm going to eat will be and what I'm going to eat and on and on and I think about it so much that I end up eating mechanically when I am not even hungry. What helped me was to go back to basics and put more faith in my own signals, listening to my body, than in a computer program. When I feel hungry, I eat. When I eat, I put thought into the foods that I am preparing and/or eating. I look for healthy alternatives and I take a deep breath and take it slow. It maybe sounds simple but it works. There have been times where I'm so hungry I want to just walk in the door and eat anything I can grab quickly just to get the food in. But I stop myself and I force myself to take the time to prepare something nutritionally sound. Doing this increases my focus and creates a small challenge for myself. It's rewarding in a way. Not rewarding with food mind you, but rewarding that I am strong enough to win that battle.

This will sound counter intuitive but... give yourself permission to binge. Tell yourself "Okay, I am going to have a binge at some point... but I'll wait until later." Plan it out, but keep putting it off by 10 minutes or an hour or a day... Giving yourself permission removes the anticipation, the build up, the dread, the obsessing and the guilt. Giving yourself permission also gives you power and control... and makes the urge to binge become secondary. Weather or not you actually go through with the binge is a different story, but the more you practice that the easier it becomes to avoid it all together.

In the meantime, we are only human, everyone falls off the wagon now and then and **** happens. No sense in feeling bad about it or re-living it. It is in the past. Leave it there and move forward.

I hope some of this has helped.

You shouldn't deprive yourself of foods you like even if they are unhealthy. I I eat junk food once a week. I just keep the portions in check. Good luck!!!!!!!

Hi Strong Curves,

It can certainly feel awful, especially when you really consider how icky that way of being is now that you are much better informed than you have ever been.

Now that you have acknowledged what you've done, and felt pretty **** about it—you've really examined the calorific consequence and overall general health impact the binge had on your body and certainly not least of all your psyche (chemical and emotional), there is only one positive thing you can do—MOVE ON.

Whenever you need to move on, you choose to move in a direction that's either TOWARDS your goal or further AWAY from your goal. I think this happens in a sort of 4-part process, for which i don't have an acronym, but it goes something like this:

1. Examine what you've done (get a good grasp on what happened and the consequences)
2. Acknowledge it (be truthful about the consequences, and simply just admit to yourself that you did it — and don't over or under exaggerate either!)
3. Reflect (really feel however you feel about it—angry / sad / disappointed / demotivated—or whatever)
4. Then LET IT GO and take the first step to just MOVE ON in the most positive direction!

After a while, you can earn to do all the steps really quickly and it becomes a life skill, and a really great habit you developing for being positive.

So as an example, let's say you are out for dinner and really didn't want to drink, but then you had a few glasses on wine. When you are new to the steps, you may slip off the wagon with one glass of wine and then basically get hammered all night because **** it, you already broke your commitment to yourself, right? So may as well go all out. In this situation, you may be too inebriated to even mindfully go through the steps. But when you have practice, you will eventually be able to stop after one or two glasses, and not consider it a big avalanche.

In your binge situation, when you were one day into your binge, you are so out of practice with the steps, that there's no way you can get to step 3 and calmly and mindfully reflect on how bad you're feeling, you're just numb. So you had to go to your level of self-abuse until you crashed and were able to reflect and come and post here. Now you have to just let it go and move on, but in the future, with practice, you'll realize step 1 and flow through 2 and 3 fairly quickly—so you'll be able to just STOP the binge much sooner.

It works with everything: arguments with friends, over-spending money, anything that triggers string emotions and requires tact and discipline.

Learn the steps, and be mindful about processing them consciously, and above all do NOT compare yourself to others or yourself in the past, as this is completely and utterly POINTLESS.

Only ever compare yourself to yourself tomorrow, or in an hour from now, depending on whether you make the next step an action that will move you towards or further from your goal. So:

- Stopping binging, going for a 5 minute walk to clear your head, throwing away the remaining junk, going to the gym even though you suddenly feel like a fat slob and it's pointless—these are all positive steps n the right direction, and will lead to a better, happier you tomorrow

- Continuing binging, having just one more pack of Oreos, deciding not to go for a 5 minute walk to clear your head, staying inside and brooding about it beyond steps 3 & 4, beating yourself up—all pointless and in the wrong direction, that will lead to a sadder, unhealthier you tomorrow

It doesn't happen overnight. Everything takes practice. Practice these steps enough and they become great habits. (Don't practice them, and you will develop poor life skills that promote negativity and ill health, especially mentally).

Yeah, you really messed up. Now move on. You were doing GREAT.

Love and Strength!

Katrina

I just have to say ALL OF THESE COMMENTS have been SOOO encouraging. I have fallen so many times and have been feeling so helpless and depressed. Thank you all for posting these things. i know that today will be a good day with all your words.
thank you again.

I struggle with Binge Eating disorder as well. Send me a message if you ever need to talk/vent to someone.