gluten free people. Please don't alienate your family.

c2sky
c2sky Posts: 487 Member
in Food and Nutrition
My mom makes me absolutely crazy, to the point that I can't even visit her any more, or at least stay at her house when I visit. She talks about gluten free in EVERY conversation. And when I went there for my birthday, and brought a small cooler with snacks for my planned hike, she made me keep it in a room away from the kitchen, so any gluten would not contaminate her kitchen. There are people out there doing this who have alienated people in their lives. I tried fixing a gluten free meal for my mom. I fixed chili and cornbread made from oats and organic cornmeal. She took one nibble of the cornbread, and insisted that I must have used contaminated oats. She said she suddenly felt ill. Now, she doesn't have a wheat allergy, no celiac disease, but she was suddenly ill. I totally think that is pscyhosomatic, at least in her case.

The ironic thing is she is constantly posting photos and recipes on facebook with gluten free pie, gluten free cake, gluten free cookies, and last time I visited her with my sons, she met us at the door holding gluten free s'amores she had made in her microwave. I politely declined. If she wants to be so healthy, why isn't she concerned about all the fat and sugar in those things? She says she uses organic sugar, so it's o.k...............sigh

So share your enthusiasm from time to time, but please don't make your family and friends want to stay away from you, and if you must go gluten free, why not just cut back and the grains and sugar, and eat real food, instead of all the expensive gluten free sugary foods?
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Replies

  • ncrugbyprop
    ncrugbyprop Posts: 96 Member
    You need a deep conversation with your mom. I hope it goes well.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    The same can be said of Paleo, low carb and vegan dieters. Taking things to an extreme can alienate the world. Unfortuantely these people usually will not listen to reason or even scientific fact. They will live in their own little world and wonder how you are losing weight and they are still gaining.

    ETA

    I had trouble explaining to some one that the grilled meat and steamed vegetables I made were gluten free. There was no gluten free sign on the meat package nor on the bag I brought the broccoli home from the store in. I even used an organic GLUTEN FREE seasoning blend to season it.(This did have a label)
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
    It's really exciting when you find something that "works" for you.

    I had horrible digestive issues before going GF.

    I'm sure I couldn't shut up about it forever.

    Now that it's more of a way of life, and it's a couple years in, I don't think I've used the phrase "Gluten-Free" in quite sometime.

    It's just my way.

    Everything is GF, so there's no sense in pointing it out anymore.

    I think she has Shiny New Diet Syndrome (borrowing from the Poly community, there :love: )

    She'll get over it.
  • jlchandl17
    jlchandl17 Posts: 27
    Moms be crazy!
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
    I don't imagine going gluten-free changed her personality. She's probably always been like this, just about other things. The first sentence was probably enough information.
  • amgreenwell
    amgreenwell Posts: 1,267 Member
    I hope you and your Mom can get passed this b/c that bond is so important.

    I work with a woman who has never been diagnosed celiac but believes in her heart of hearts that she is, and most conversations are about "gluten free" stuff.
    Almost every snack she eats it out of some sort of package. I don't get it either. I know she wants to be healthy b/c she buys a bunch of organic stuff and "grain fed" beef, etc., and asks me how I am losing weight.

    I give her the best advice I can but it always comes back to the fact that she can't eat certain things. If she would cut out the packaged stuff she ingests she'd be much happier and a lot less "bloated" (her word)
    I am not one to comment on anyone's diet but when they are alienating others, especially family, it is time for a nice long conversation.

    Good luck!!
  • Eleanorjanethinner
    Eleanorjanethinner Posts: 563 Member
    You know your Mum's behaviour has got nothing to dowith being gluten-free... It sounds like she's actually verging on disordered eating (i.e. insisting that your cornbread is contaminated and that your food would infect her food) and obsession (in that she can talk about nothing else).

    I'd suggest a frank conversation with her along the lines of 'When I visit, I'd really like to talk about things other than food' but I suspect it'll make little difference. Probably the best thing you can do is just work out your boundaries and stick to them. For example if you're talking on the phone and she starts going on about gluten you can try and change the subject and/or asking to talk about something else. If that doesn't work you might need to say 'Can we please talk about something else or elseI'll need to go'. If she carries on, say 'I'm sorry, I have to go now.' and put down the phone. Be polite but clear and don't let yourself get sucked into the crazy!

    Best of luck with it!
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    I don't get where people think that gluten free means "healthy". It's like the people who proudly proclaim they are vegetarian but subsist on high carb, low nutritional valued foods. Additionally, most people don't really need to cut gluten from their diets. There have been some studies that suggest that people who think they are gluten sensitive are really lectin sensitive but, honestly, only the very, very gluten sensitive need a "completely gluten-free" kitchen rather than just not ingesting gluten themselves.

    This gluten-free thing is just another fad like the low carb craze several years ago. It'll die it's own death soon enough.

    ETA: I meant that last for people who don't actually have a gluten allergy or Celiac's and are just doing it because it's trendy. I know that for those who have a serious problem with wheat (and it's a growing population) that it's certainly not a fad and I'm glad that the food industry and restaurants are recognizing this.
  • littlefoot612
    littlefoot612 Posts: 156 Member
    Is she gluten free because she has been diagnosed with Celiac disease or because it has become a fad lately and she has self-diagnosed a gluten problem?
    I have a close friend who has a child with Celiac disease and, over time if not controlled, there are serious complications. People jumping on the gluten free craze actually make it more difficult for people who have Celiac disease and have no choice but to live gluten free.There is a definitive test for Celiac disease and gluten intolerance. Unless she has been diagnosed with either, there is no real reason to go gluten free. If she has just hopped on the bandwagon, she will most likely jump off and move onto the next big thing. You can either be really patient or talk very honestly with her.


    Edit....notice you said she has neither Celiac disease or intolerance but has she actually been tested? Maybe a negative test result from a Doctor would calm her down a bit.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I don't get where people think that gluten free means "healthy". It's like the people who proudly proclaim they are vegetarian but subsist on high carb, low nutritional valued foods. Additionally, most people don't really need to cut gluten from their diets. There have been some studies that suggest that people who think they are gluten sensitive are really lectin sensitive but, honestly, only the very, very gluten sensitive need a "completely gluten-free" kitchen rather than just not ingesting gluten themselves.

    This gluten-free thing is just another fad like the low carb craze several years ago. It'll die it's own death soon enough.

    +1
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    It's a fad, it will die off soon!
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    Agree with everyone who says its a fad.
    http://www.t-nation.com/diet-fat-loss/not-so-ugly-truth-about-gluten
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  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    I am laughing at your mother but also feeling all the sympathy in the world for you. Would it be too horrible to slip some gluten in her next batch of cookies she's making? Eh? Eh?
  • anglyn1
    anglyn1 Posts: 1,802 Member
    I'm celiac and I rarely discuss being gluten free. Basically if you offer me something I can't have I will say "no thanks" if you press the issue I will explain I have celiac disease and have to eat GF. If she's truly celiac then the need for gluten free certified oats is real. I doubt she'd be able to know they weren't certified by taste or within seconds of eating the cornbread however. More typically you'd get ill hours or a day later and then question the oats. I allow my husband to have gluten stuff in the house provided it isn't something that will get crumbs everywhere and that he prepares/cleans up after himself.
  • lishie_rebooted
    lishie_rebooted Posts: 2,973 Member
    Theres nothing wrong with the fat and sugar in the s' mores. It's delish.
    Same with apple pie and etc.

    Stahp with the sugar shaming already
  • azymth99
    azymth99 Posts: 122 Member
    I have a friend who's wife insisted the entire family go gluten free- to lose weight. ??? (Which I am still trying to wrap my head around). When I asked her point blank, she didn't even know what gluten was or understand the difference between gluten and carbs. And mind you, she is an intelligent woman with a degree, gainfully employed with a great job. She decided to go gluten free after her nutritionist suggested it.

    I have no idea where her nutritionist got her degree (or if she even has one) but gluten-free has NOTHING to do with weight loss. Organic sugar is still sugar. Organic calories are still calories. Organic, gluten free carbs are still carbs.

    This is one fad I will not miss once its gone.
  • vismundcygnus27
    vismundcygnus27 Posts: 98 Member
    Yeah, the gluten-free thing is a silly fad. I knew someone who suddenly went gluten-free, but she was always a bit of a hypochondriac and then it became her go-to excuse whenever she would miss work or something. Unless you have celiac, you're not gonna become ill from accidentally eating some crumbs of gluten. I'd have a talk with her, because that sounds aggravating as hell.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    DH is eating gluten free, sugar free, stone fruit free, and dairy free because of his raging IBS. It's been a week and yes, it enters into much of our conversation. As time goes on, and we get more used to it, and he adds more regular food back into his diet, the excitement should fade.

    Maybe it's a personality thing. Is your mom ... dramatic?
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    This gluten-free thing is just another fad like the low carb craze several years ago. It'll die it's own death soon enough.

    I love how all the meats in the stores are labeled "Gluten free" as if bacon or chicken were harvested from wheat. It's just a dumb fad that will disappear eventually. "Look, gluten-free water. ZOMG!!"
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
    I have a friend who's wife insisted the entire family go gluten free- to lose weight. ??? (Which I am still trying to wrap my head around). When I asked her point blank, she didn't even know what gluten was or understand the difference between gluten and carbs. And mind you, she is an intelligent woman with a degree, gainfully employed with a great job. She decided to go gluten free after her nutritionist suggested it.

    I have no idea where her nutritionist got her degree (or if she even has one) but gluten-free has NOTHING to do with weight loss. Organic sugar is still sugar. Organic calories are still calories. Organic, gluten free carbs are still carbs.

    This is one fad I will not miss once its gone.

    Eh.

    Anything that cuts out foods from the diet can be effective for weight loss, so long as the foods are not replaced with other things of equal or greater caloric density.

    I get what you're saying and the nutritionist's advice was moronic if that's all there was to it, but people do have success with weight loss eating gluten free. Not because of teh glutenz, but because it simply facilitates less eating of many calorie-dense foods.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
    OP, my mom is like this with every fad diet out there. I hope for your sake she calms down after a while. But if not, have fun with it. Bring her some fancy gluten free almonds as a gift. Or make her a gluten free jello mold.

    I gave my mom a gift basket of low carb meats and cheeses for Christmas. :flowerforyou:
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    Bring her cats some High protein, grain-free, gluten-free, dehydrated, cage free turkey food. The more labels you can stack on the food the more healthy it must be.

    grace-grain-free-cat-food-4-lb-new_1.png
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    it could be worse.

    she could have become a vegan
  • AlliSteff
    AlliSteff Posts: 211 Member
    This gluten-free thing is just another fad like the low carb craze several years ago. It'll die it's own death soon enough.

    I love how all the meats in the stores are labeled "Gluten free" as if bacon or chicken were harvested from wheat. It's just a dumb fad that will disappear eventually. "Look, gluten-free water. ZOMG!!"

    My sister is celiac and VERY sensative to any cross contamination. By labeling meats, etc- it means that the meat hasn't come into contact with gluten in a processing plant, etc. It assures the consumer that there has been no possible cross contamination.
  • AlliSteff
    AlliSteff Posts: 211 Member
    I'm celiac and I rarely discuss being gluten free. Basically if you offer me something I can't have I will say "no thanks" if you press the issue I will explain I have celiac disease and have to eat GF. If she's truly celiac then the need for gluten free certified oats is real. I doubt she'd be able to know they weren't certified by taste or within seconds of eating the cornbread however. More typically you'd get ill hours or a day later and then question the oats. I allow my husband to have gluten stuff in the house provided it isn't something that will get crumbs everywhere and that he prepares/cleans up after himself.

    Interesting- my sister can usually tell within 10-20 minutes, as there is an immediate bathroom run!
  • c2sky
    c2sky Posts: 487 Member
    I used to LOVE to visit my mom. I drove 6 hours to see her at least every other weekend for years. Yes, she's gone on tangents before, but she has never been so adamantly preachy and annoying about it before.
  • c2sky
    c2sky Posts: 487 Member
    Is she gluten free because she has been diagnosed with Celiac disease or because it has become a fad lately and she has self-diagnosed a gluten problem?
    I have a close friend who has a child with Celiac disease and, over time if not controlled, there are serious complications. People jumping on the gluten free craze actually make it more difficult for people who have Celiac disease and have no choice but to live gluten free.There is a definitive test for Celiac disease and gluten intolerance. Unless she has been diagnosed with either, there is no real reason to go gluten free. If she has just hopped on the bandwagon, she will most likely jump off and move onto the next big thing. You can either be really patient or talk very honestly with her.


    Edit....notice you said she has neither Celiac disease or intolerance but has she actually been tested? Maybe a negative test result from a Doctor would calm her down a bit.
    She is self diagnosed. I have asked her if she has been tested for celiac. She says it doesn't matter. She is gluten intolerant.
  • c2sky
    c2sky Posts: 487 Member
    It's a fad, it will die off soon!

    And then she'll glom onto the next one.


    OP you have my sympathy. That would drive me bat-**** crazy. I'd probably show up at her doorstep wearing a suit made of bread.

    thanks....I needed that ;)
  • itsbasschick
    itsbasschick Posts: 1,584 Member
    i'm a vegetarian, allergic to wheat and don't eat sugar... but i don't feel the need to impress this on anyone. i eat what i eat, they can eat what they eat. people who go on and on about their latest fad diets or fad exercise drive me (and probably everyone) nuts.

    that being said, i'm grateful for the gluten-free fad, as it means there's a lot more baked goods and stuff that's whea-free that i can get without going to whole foods, and there are more there, too. heck, i live by 2 gluten-free bakeries *LOL*

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