Desperate need of motivation

The thing about motivation and willpower is that no one can give them to you; they have to come from within. I could sit here and tell you that you need to do these things but that's not going to make you change into running clothes and go run 3 miles. What you should probably do is sit down and really think about the pros and cons of continuing to live like you are vs. getting back into the routine of eating right and exercising. (And really, it's the eating right that's the more important of the two, by far. You can't outrun a bad diet.) Take that list and post it somewhere you're going to see it every day and let it help you motivate yourself again.

One thing I can tell you is this... at 20, you're setting yourself up now for what is probably going to be the rest of your life. You can be healthy and active and fit or you can keep putting on the pounds and making excuses. 20 or 30 years from now will you look back and know you've set yourself up for a healthy and active middle age or will you be fighting to drop 100 or 200 pounds, dealing with diabetes, heart disease and joint problems because it was easier to sit on the sofa and eat poorly? Yes, I know all of that was harsh, but it really is something to think about and perhaps just a little bit of motivation. I truly wish that I had stayed as active in my 30s as I was in my 20s. I never let myself get to the point where I was overweight but I did get lazy. Things would be easier now if I hadn't.

Best of luck to you whatever you choose!

I take it "back home" means with parents. Talk to your mom, pull her aside and be open and honest with her. Tell her it is uncomfortable for you. See if there are Zumba classes or something similar that she may want to do with you for exercise. See if she would walk with you. Offer to walk people's dogs - exercise and extra money.

When first moved in with my boyfriend, I was absolutely terrified of him seeing me workout (still am). I waited until he went to work to do my exercise DVD, but then it came to meals...he heaped his plate and looked at me funny if I only took small amounts, so instead of heaping my plate, I'd get up for seconds because, 'you can't be full already?!?' I gave up and was about the same weight as you when I started out this time around. I haven't done a workout DVD in quite some time, and even though we've lived together for a few years now, I'll either hurry up and fix my plate before he comes to the kitchen to get his, or I wait until he fixes his plate to get mine, and I hide the measuring cups and food scale tray in the sink so he won't see them. I don't think he would, but I'm afraid he'll laugh at me or ask me what I'm doing and why.

When I need a pick me up, I turn to my pals on here. I creep on their food diaries and exercise diaries. I look at their achievements, read the comments they leave on my wall as well as their other pals. It makes me want to do better. For the best motivation, I look in the mirror. I see my belly slowly shrinking, my cheek bones becoming more defined. I also see the stubborn love handles, and my massive thighs. Seeing the good makes me want to work that much harder to improve the 'bad'.

You are your own motivation. Look in the mirror and ask yourself, 'how bad do you want it?' Until you can honestly tell yourself, 'I want it real bad!' you will be stuck in your rut. If you are uncomfortable exercising at home with your family around (I am), find a time when you are alone in the house, or simply go for a walk around your neighborhood. If anyone questions you, tell them you want some fresh air, maybe invite them to go with you. You've got this, you just have to find it in yourself. :flowerforyou:

When you want to lose weight more than you want to overeat, that is when you will be ready. Many people believe that they get a lot of benefits out of overeating. It makes them feel good in the moment and seems to help them cope with stress, boredom, anger, etc. (or so they think). So even though a part of you wants to lose weight, you probably aren't ready to give up what you see as benefits to overeating. The truth, however, is that there are lots of other ways to feel good and cope with negative emotions without using food.

Some people also, subconsciously, are ambivalent about being skinny. For example, some people fear having to be more sexual or socialif they lose weight. Fat can act like a protective cocoon for some people.

My suggestion would be to figure out what you are getting out of being overweight/overeating and see if you can find better ways of achieving those benefits.